Today was one of those days where, unlike yesterday, everything was going well.

School wasn't a place of constant torment like usual, my parents weren't their usual selves, and the bruise on my eye was fading tremendously. Now you could barely tell it was there. Makeup was a big reason for that, but at least it wasn't as noticeable.

On top of all of that Jase was happier than ever. For some reason he wasn't his easily irritated self, getting mad for no reason. At lunch he was the perfect gentleman; pulling out my chair for me, grabbing me a lunch that wasn't actually bland flavored leaves for once, and didn't get mad at me for something stupid, like usual.

He was acting like the person he was when we just started dating, cracking jokes and actually treating me like a boyfriend should. I had to admit it was nice, but the reasoning behind this sudden change was really starting to get to me. The feeling that he would suddenly snap and get mad at me kept reappearing in my mind.

Hand in hand, Jase and I walked through the parking lot to his car. Once we got to his parking spot, he pushed me playful against the trunk and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "What do you say," he said, his lips just barely separated from mine. "we skip running today," he kissed me again in between speaking. "and go out instead."

"Go out, huh?" I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled up at him. "And where would we go?"

"Hm." He lightly hummed, thinking to himself. Suddenly his hands were on my hips as he placed me on the trunk of the car, forcing my legs to wrap around his waist. "Somewhere romantic."

My smile grew as I pulled him closer. "I like romantic."

Before our lips could kiss once more, we were rudely interrupted by the voice of my best friend. "Get a room!"

Jase groaned, but accepted our friends disruption. "Do you always have to show up when things start getting good?" He called to Veronica and our group of friends who trailed behind.

Ronni shrugged. "I'm pretty much a master at PDA disruption."

I laughed and shook my head. "We're all still going camping after the game this weekend, right?"

"You know I never say no to a little camping trip," Ronni said.

"Nick, you're still coming, right?" Jase asked the only blond of the group besides me.

Nick nodded. "Are you kidding? Isn't there some kind of punishment for skipping out on this weekend?"

After every last game of the year it was almost tradition for all of us to go pitch up a tent next to the beach, roast marshmallows, pass a bottle of Jack Daniels around, and have a swim. I would always supply the tent -which was a five person one which just about fit us all-, Jase made sure we had the JD, and everyone else was in charge of snacks and other necessities like blankets, food, etc.

"I'm going, but," I rolled my eyes right once Veronica started with her hangout regulations that she seemed to always have. "I'm not swimming."

"Oh, come on, Ron!" Nick exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in disbelief. "That's like the best part!"

"Those are my terms, Nicky. Deal with it."

Nick groaned, clearly irked. "I told you not to call me Nicky. That's like a girl's name!"

"I think it's adorable," Jase interviened.

"Dude, do I have to hurt you?"

"You could try."

"Well," I finally spoke. "as fun as all this is, Jase and I have plans."

"Oh?" Nick raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"Not those kinds of plans, you dummy," I said. "Something romantic."

"Good luck with that, man."

Jase scowled at him. "Shut up." He got into the car and slammed the door, leaving his friend chuckling behind him.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." I waved them off before getting into the car.  "So what kind of romantic thing were you planning exactly?"

"Someone's curious today." He smirked my way and started the car. "It's called a surprise, Har. You'll find out soon enough."

After five minutes of the car ride, and me trying to think of what his plan was, I couldn't sit still. It wasn't often that Jase wanted to do a little something besides exercising, or having sex. Sometimes we'd watch a movie, but it was almost impossible for it to turn physical in one way or another.

I knew enough to know that it wasn't going to be anything other than simple, but I was okay with a simple and relaxed date if that's what he had planned. Anything that Jase was wanting to do that kept his temper stable was good enough for me.

When we finally pulled into the parking lot of his house, I was surprised to see that his foster parents were home. Jase didn't seem to mind, so I assumed that he was already prepared for them being there. Him and his foster parents didn't always get along, but I heard that they treated him better than any other guardian ever did. They weren't exactly a family, but at least they were civil with each other.

The biggest problem was mostly that they didn't care what Jase did. He could stay out all night, drink, smoke, basically anything he wanted as long as he wasn't caught, or if he just stayed out of their way.

Sometimes I wished my parents were a little more lenient, but at least it was out of the love they had for me. It was the same thing for my brother. My parents loved him, you could see it in their eyes, but they just didn't know what else to do with him since they had such high standards on what they wanted in our lives.

Once we entered the house, Carol was doing dishes while Marcus was fiddling around on his iPad at the kitchen table. They didn't even look up when we walked into the same room.

Jase grabbed me a Pepsi from the fridge, along with one for himself, and then gestured upstairs. We left the unsocial people be and made our way up the stairs and towards his room.

"How can you stand them?" I let the question spill out before I could stop it, but for some reason I wasn't fearing his reaction.

"I ignore them back."

I nodded and sat down on the bed. Opening the can, the soft fizz sound of bubbles escaping into the air interrupted the momentary silence.

"So, um, how long do I have to wait to find out the surprise?"

"Hm," he hummed as he thought to himself. "In a few hours."

"Then what are we going to until then?"

He grabbed my pop from my hands and placed it on the nightstand. "I'm glad you asked." Jase's voice was husky as he lowered himself on top of me, making me fall with my back against his bed. Lust darkened his eyes so that his light green orbs were a dark emerald.

While he trailed kisses down my neck and more towards my chest, I tried to speak, but couldn't find words from the pleasure running through my veins. I grab his face in my hands and pull his lips towards mine. They collide and the spark that's always there was just as strong, if not stronger than before. Jase pulls my Vans off my feet and reaches for my short buttons, but I stopped him.

"We can't do this now," I giggled while trying to push his body away. "They'll hear us."

"Not if you don't scream my name as loud as usual." If he wasn't so horny at the moment he probably would have seen the logic in my words, but of course, there was no logic to a guy who couldn't keep it in his pants. I often wondered how he survived when he wasn't feeling me up.

When he continued, I started to squirm underneath him in an attempt to get away.

The weight from his body that pressed against me just a moment ago was now gone. Jase's facial expression was changed drastically as I looked up at him. "Things have been going amazing today, Har! Why are you trying to ruin it?"

I was a little taken back from the sudden outburst, but it didn't surprise me. Before I could anger him any more, I got up and took a conscious step towards him. He was fuming, but I tried not to be afraid of my own boyfriend as I stood before him.

"Jase," I spoke carefully. "we don't want to get caught by your... guardians. I'd rather avoid that happening, okay?"

Jase sighed, signaling that he knew I was right. "Yeah, okay."

The breath that was caught in the back of my throat was slowly released; all the tension leaving my body. I threw my arms around his neck and close the distance between our bodies. "I'm sorry, baby. I don't like it when you're mad at me." My blue eyes bore into his and the intensity in them made me gulp.

His scowl was now gone and his smile that always took my breath away appeared in it's place. If there was one feature that I would point out to anyone as Jase's best, his smile would be on the top of my list. There was not a site that brought more happiness to me than so see something as beautiful as that appear on his face. It was rare, to see him happy, so I cherished those times when he was.

A firm grip wrapped around my waist and another on my ass, pulling me into Jase so that our waists grinded against each other. Soft lips crashed onto mine suddenly, making me hold my breath. His tongue forced his way into my mouth, but I didn't fight it.

There was no one in my life that I ever loved kissing more than Jase. For some reason he brought out feelings that no one else could give me, making my body scream in ecstasy from just a single touch.

My body was suddenly filled with need, but we both knew it would have to wait for another time.

Without warning, he separated his lips from mine, kissing my forehead soon afterward. "Sorry," he apologized. "If I would've continued I wouldn't have been able to stop." I nodded, readjusting my shirt. We shared another kiss before we pulled away completely.

"Let's go." Jase didn't even give me time to ask where we were going, just pulled me through his doorway and down the stairs. He continued to drag me along until we got to the kitchen where his foster dad hadn't moved a muscle, but his foster mom now joined him as they sat at the table together.

Just like Jase said, they ignored him and he ignored them. There wasn't even a moment of acknowledgement there was someone else in their house besides the two of them. I hadn't ever experienced such a need to be noticed. I almost wanted to yell in their ear to make sure that I wasn't just hallucinating them or something.

Throwing this worry to the side, I focused on what Jason was doing. He pulled some sort of picnic basket from the cupboard next to the fridge and placed it on the counter. Different foods were now being placed in the basket that he pulled from the fridge.

This caught the attention of Carol, but she didn't seem to care. What were these people? Robots?

I didn't pay attention and just watched as Jase continued. A bottle of sparkling cider also made it's way into the basket and I raised an eyebrow at him. "You really are going fancy, aren't you?"

"Guess what we're doing yet?" he asked.

I gave him a pointed look and nodded. "You have a freakin' picnic basket sitting in front of me, how could I not?"

He grinned, grabbed the basket and then my hand soon after. "We're going."

For the first time since we got here, his foster mother spoke. "Don't make it too late. You have school tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled as he practically pulled me through the door.

"Jase." He didn't answer me so I said his name louder. Once he stopped and turned towards me, I looked down at my feet. "Do you expect me to go where we're going without shoes?"

Looking down at my feet, he chuckled. He nodded his head towards the door, and I ran upstairs to get my shoes.

After running up the flight of stairs, I realized just how glad that we were taking a break from running. For some reason I was completely out of breath. I didn't know if I just didn't get a good night's sleep or if I was dehydrated, but it totally wasn't normal.

Once I reached his bedroom it only took me moments to slip my shoes back on and run back down the stairs and out the door. Jase's car was already running once I was outside. I opened the passenger door and took my seat, buckling my seatbelt right once I got in. Monsters of Men played on the radio and I was engulfed by their amazing voices.

"Isn't it going to get dark in under an hour?" I asked, concerned we wouldn't have enough time.

"I brought a blanket if getting cold is what you're worried about." Jase turned the corner and I knew immediately where we were going. We were on our way to where we had our first date. We had a picnic and held each other into the night once the sun was no longer there to warm us.

The beach was our destination, which was a more regular hangout place for me than Starbucks. Whenever we had the chance to go somewhere, the beach was the usual spot. From campouts -like the one we were having this weekend-  to just my daily swims, the beach was my safe place. The place where everything was okay, even if everything really wasn't.

"Did I ever tell you that you are the most amazing person I've ever known?" Jase randomly asked, catching me off guard. He looked over to my disbelieving face, and was obviously conflicted about whether or not he wanted to continued speaking. "I mean it."

I sent him a look that told him to continue. Usually he didn't express his feelings when it wasn't through anger, sarcasm, or some form of sexual activity, so him saying this in all serious now was unheard of.

Jase's hands were clearly turning white from how intensely he was gripping the wheel. "You are the only person I trust, Har. You mean... a lot to me, and I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me." My promise didn't seem to make him feel any better.

"I've hit you, Harley," he retaliated. "more than just once or twice, and I can tell it scares you."

Where was all of this coming from?

"That's what today is about, to prove to you that I'm not as unstable as you think I am," he said, a hint of sadness in his voice. "I really like you and I don't want to ruin things between us."

"What do you mean what today is about?" I asked offensively. "You're just going to do this today and then tomorrow you're just going to hit me again?"

He scoffed and turned right, the beach was now in plain view, the waves beating repetitively on the shore like they always did. Beating the sand in their relentless rhythm. "I'm not going to do that." The anger in his voice when he said this didn't make it at all convincing.

"You and I both know I don't like hurting you," he defended himself. "I care about you more than anyone I've ever known, and I really hate it when you think I get off on hurting you or something. It's just sometimes you make me so angry and-"

"And that justifies it?" I tried not to yell, but it was hard not to when he was being so unreasonable.

Jase sighed and parked the car. "Har," he grabbed my hand in his as he said this. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. I've hurt enough people in my life, and I don't want you to be one of them." The amount of sincerity in his eyes made me want to believe him, but I didn't know if I should trust him. He's let me down many times with words like this, and I didn't want to be tricked again.

"I know." There was a half lie in my words, but luckily he couldn't that I wasn't fully convinced.

"Good," he chirped, letting go of my hand as he got out of the car.

I unbuckled myself and opened the door. Jase was already taking stuff out of the trunk of his car and once I was there, he handed me the blanket and he carried the basket of food. Once we had everything, we started walking toward the sand. I kicked off my flip flops and bent down to grab them once we got there.

The heat of the sun was still coating the miniature rocks as my feet made contact. A small burning sensation brushed up against the flats of my feet, but I didn't mind the familiar feeling.

Sand found it's way in between my toes as we walked hand in hand. It didn't take long to pick out our spot since it's the spot we always chose. Jase, all my friends, and I pretty much thought of it as 'our place' which was a big reason why Jase chose it for our first date destination.

Big rocks circled around a small pool of water that had a little mini river leading into the ocean. A mini beach was next to it, making it a perfect place to hang. The rocks almost enclosed us into a private area, making you hidden from the rest of the world. Usually we worried about this spot being stolen from us, but this small town on the coast wasn't the most adventurous.

There were many differences between this small town and the stereotypical one. People didn't know every little thing about each other here. Yes, there were certain little things that got out, but it was pretty easy to keep a secret since people weren't so nosy.

Once we put the blanket down, Jase immediately pulled me down with him. I landed on his chest and giggled then slapped him playfully for scaring the crap out of me. Not even a moment later, our lips were already on each other's for a quick peck.

"Hungry?" I nodded to his question and he smiled. First he pulled out sandwich making materials and then the sparkling cider afterwards.

He poured me a glass and then one for him. We made and ate our sandwiches and added a little small talk in the mix. Soon small talk turned into a full blown conversation about anything and everything. When there wasn't any drama going on it seemed like we were just the average young couple in something close to love, and it was what I always longed for.

Before we even realized it, the sun was already almost disappearing over the horizon. The orange glow shined on the calm waves, the water danced with the light. I pulled myself closer to Jase as we watched the sunset. "Thanks for today." I smiled brightly and kissed him on the cheek.

“It’s not over yet.” He focused his attention on the sunset, resting his head on his hand for support. Jase lay on his side, and from my peripheral vision, I could see him looking at me every now and then.

Finally I tore my gaze away from the beautiful sight in front of me to look at another. Jase looked at me intently, almost as if he were trying to figure something out.

“What?” I asked, a small laugh escaping me after.

“You’re just so beautiful.” He reached his hand up to my face and cupped my cheek in his hand. Whenever he’d say something like this, it always made me wonder how someone as good-looking as him could think I was beautiful. It wasn’t like I was insecure, or anything, but I never thought I was model-like or anything.

I smiled at this comment, but he could tell I had my doubts, because he said, “I mean it, Har. You’re the kind of girl guys can only dream about.”

“You really mean that?”

“I always mean the things I say.” Jase apparently thought this was the perfect thing to say at the moment, but for some reason it made me feel uneasy. If he really meant everything he said then those times he got mad and let a derogatory name slip out were also things he meant. At my sharp intake of breath, Jase became worried. “Har, are you okay?”

Grabbing both sides of my face with his hands, his eyes searched mine for answers. We looked passionately in each other’s eyes for a moment until my bearings found their composure. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

It was obvious that Jase could feel the tension, but he chose to ignore it, even though it was obvious he wanted to know what was wrong. Sometimes he didn’t have to know, though, and luckily he had the good judgement to not push the subject.

Getting passed the exchange they just had, they watched the sun disappear from view, the light of the moon replacing the orange glimmers on the water. It wasn’t a full moon, but that didn’t make these moments any less amazing. Jase had pulled me onto his chest, his heartbeat playing a constant tempo, sending a calm feeling through my body.

I never understood how someone who wasn’t always safe to be around, made me always feel safe. There was no explanation for any of the feelings I felt for this troubled teen, but I had them nonetheless. Living with him wasn’t the best choice, but I couldn’t bear living without him.

There were always prices to be paid for love, but sometimes they were worth it. At least, that’s what I was stupid enough to talk myself into. Truly I was blinded by a strong love that was very often thought to not even be returned. Jase cared about me, yes, but were the feelings he had for me love, or just a powerful lust?

Jase reminded me of his presence as he wrapped his arms tighter around me, almost as if he thought that if he didn’t, he would lose me. I moved my face closer to his and kissed him gently on the cheek.

“It’s getting darker,” his low voice sent shivers down my spine. It was usually hard to not react to his voice since it was almost overpowering. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“No,” I said, wrapping my arms tighter around him. Whenever he held me like this it always threw me off. His body language screamed loving and gentle, even though I knew he wasn’t. “I just want to stay like this for a little longer.”

I could feel his chest vibrate as he chuckled. “As you wish.”

A large grin grew on my face as he quoted my favorite movie, The Princess Bride. “I just wish things were always like this between us.”

“You mean like, with no accidents?” That’s what he called the times where he couldn’t control himself enough to hold his hand? Accidents. It was like he was saying he couldn’t stop any of those situations happening. Like there was no possible way of stopping the worst moments of my life where I felt like crap from happening. Whenever these so called ‘accidents’ would happen, a weakness would come over me. A weakness that brought upon me by my own boyfriend.

“I would like that too.” He mumbled this almost in a way that he didn’t want me to hear it. Maybe he didn’t know he was saying it aloud, but I wouldn’t let that statement go like it never was said.

“Then why don’t you take action, and make sure you get what you want?” My eyes were now fixed on him, noticing the inner battle that was going on in his mind.

No surprise came over me as he cleared his throat and avoided the question. “I really should get you home.” His body was no longer wrapped around me and I could feel the cool air of the night replace his former hold. Soon I was being pulled up and into a strong pair of arms. I could feel Jase’s muscles tighten as his arms encased me in warmth and kissed the top of my head.

My thoughts kept going over what it would be like for things to be like this all the time; Jase holding me only in kind ways, not losing his temper.

The thing that made my heart break was the realization that this was a wish that wouldn’t be coming true.