#THE_UNKNOWN (A series of short horrifying stories)
   
Author: Sam Freddy
   
Issue 5: PLAIN SUICIDE
   
Part 1
   
    My name is Alice Johnson, and this is the story of how I literally committed the dopest suicide ever from a moving plane.
   
    Maybe it’s true, possibly not, who cares? The point is for you not to make the same stupid mistake I made in the past. Be humble. Be kind. Strive to be a better person than you are now. Whatever pride or ego you think you have, flush it down the drain because frankly, my dearies, we never can tell how much a simple sorry could mean to someone out there.
   
    Remember, karma never sleeps! So, without further ado, here’s how my story goes:
   
    __________

    Saturday. Dawn. Year 2015.
   
    My noisy, crappy alarm woke me up at exactly 5:30 in the morning. Sheesh! Even God knows that I hate my job with passion.
   
    Most people may think that being a flight attendant is the coolest job on Earth, but trust me, they’re so wrong. These folks don’t even know half of what we go through in those aircraft. They think it’s all rosy, smooth or convenient, but the bitter truth is that there are so many bad days on this side of my profession. Permit me to list a few of ’em straight up!
   
    There was a time I got baptized with smelly, slimy poop from a five-month-old baby, right in the face! No kidding!
   
    Pun definitely intended.
   
    Plus, another particular day when a blind old lady ‘mistakenly’ whacked my forehead with her old-fashioned walking stick, very, very hard. But I knew she did it deliberately anyway, since I refused to serve her a glass of champagne as a second-class passenger.
   
    Once I was bitten by a furious puppy whose tail I’d unconsciously stepped on. In truth, I totally can’t forget that day at all, especially not after the small scar on my left ankle which serves as a constant reminder of the incident.
   
    In addition to the aforementioned bad lucks, let’s not forget the dark days when period pains occur, but we air hostesses still have to act professionally by feigning massive happiness, smiling pretentiously and executing our duties to our passengers’ utmost satisfaction. Believe me when I tell you that the stress involved in this line of duty is absolutely beyond compare, so don’t you even dare. If you were thinking of signing up, I’ll give you just one advice: Think twice and don’t come here. Don’t come near!
   
    See what I did there? Notice the awesome rhymes? Boy, am I so good!
   
    Anyway, back to the present.
   
    After letting out a big, loud yawn, I ‘killed’ the alarm on my smartphone, jumped out of bed and slipped into my sexy blue thong. Sleeping naked is something I enjoy doing so damn much, especially when I’m all alone with my porn magazines and my two favorite dildos.
   
    Don’t give me that look.
   
    What I actually meant to say is, especially when I’m home alone with my printed magazines and my two favorite discos. Now that looks way much better!
   
    So, let’s just pretend like nobody ever saw that paragraph above about the porn stuff, all right? I’d really appreciate that. Thank you!
   
    So, with a quick glance at the mirror, I knew I looked totally awkward because I almost cringed at my horrible reflection.
   
    ‘Phew.’ I thought to myself with a grimace. ‘I should totally prepare ASAP. I have a big day ahead of me.’

    Thirty minutes later, I was out in the streets, dressed casually with my actual work uniform neatly arranged in my backpack. A sharp glance at the sky notified me of its cloudy state. The weather sure wasn’t inviting today. It was strangely cold outside for an early Saturday morning. If anything, I was grateful to God for making me care enough to wear a silky, comfy jacket before stepping out of the hotel.
   
    Frankly, my stay in India has been worth my while. I freaking loved the city of Bangladesh and wished that I could stay a little longer, but the nature of my wack job required constant movement from one country to another, so I might as well kiss that wish a bitter-sweet goodbye.
   
    If you’ve been wondering where a fine and dandy, extremely perverted caramel-skinned cutie like me works at, then worry no more because I work for Sanparada Airlines, and our destination for today just happens to be Brooklyn, New York City. The plane was scheduled to take off at nine o’clock, and I was expected to be there before eight o’clock for my shift.
   
    Weirdly enough, I was fond of dressing up in my official uniform at the airports instead of the hotels where I usually crashed, and frankly, it hadn’t affected my piece of crap job in any way whatsoever. Perhaps I was just lucky. Or maybe just very clever.
   
    Or both.
   
    However, right now, I had a train and a big-ass plane to catch. The train station wasn’t too far ahead. In fact, it was quite trekkable, but with the condition of the weather and how insanely cold I was, that would be a terrible idea. I definitely wasn’t willing to walk all the way to the train station only to get soaked by the impending rain along the way, so I simply boarded a sleek taxi instead. Easy-peasy!
   
    Barely five minutes into the ride, the windows of heaven were opened and the showers of blessings began heavily. The sudden downpour was so fierce, and the wind wasn’t even ‘chilling’ either. So many people on the sidewalks took to their heels at once, probably trying not to get blown out of existence by the raging wind.
   
    Strangely enough, for no logical reason, the aggressive wind looked like a violent storm from the Titanic universe, steadily blowing off anything in its path like a damn gigantic vacuum cleaner. Feeble things like plastic bags, empty containers, disposed condoms, dirty nylons and so on were swept out of the way. Worst of all, there was mad, terrible traffic on the damned roads, and I was gradually running late, losing my effing patience.
   
    Crap! This messed up morning just isn’t what I envisioned last night in bed.
   
    Frustrated, I paid the funny-looking cab dude and got down after sitting for twenty long minutes in the car, faithfully hoping that the traffic would reflow. Unfortunately, I became sure that I was in for the wrong business after waiting to no avail, so I had to exit the car before anxiety would force me to snap and go crazy.
   
    “Please, stay in the car, ma’am.” The taxi driver pleaded after winding down the smooth glass so I could hear him properly. “It’s too rough out there. Wait a little bit more!”
   
    “Thanks, chap, but I have to go.” I explained with a high-pitched voice as the rain banged me so hard. Pun intended. “I’m running late!” I added, using my bag as a shield for my already slightly wet hair.
   
    Reluctantly, the cab driver grabbed an umbrella from the top of his dashboard. “All right, then. Take this,” he said, giving it to me through the window. “You’re gonna need it for your clothes and bag.”
   
    “Ah, thank God.” With a sigh of relief, I collected the umbrella, opened it and smiled at the kind man. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it!”
   
    With that, the young man nodded and drove off instantly. Quickly, I grabbed a strap of my bag and slipped it over my shoulder, while my other hand held the umbrella tightly.
   
    As I was about to cross over to the other side of the road, a speeding truck whizzed past me and splashed dirty water all over my nice legs.
   
    “Oh, my freaking God!” I screamed at the top of my smoky lungs, wide-eyed. “Are you crazy?”
   
    “Get away from the road, woman!” The driver hollered back at me, angrily. I caught a glimpse of his face before he sped off: an ugly, chubby face, a scattered mustache and a very strong accent gave his roots away. Molesting women is something an Indian crackhead would totally and happily do. I shouldn’t be surprised.
   
    “Egotistic asshole!” I cussed under my breath and crossed over with my stained sandals, wishing I’d given him the middle finger as payback, but sadly, my hands were currently occupied.
   
    Fast-forward to ten minutes later, I finally made it to the train station where the rain couldn’t disturb.
   
    Deeply relieved, I closed the umbrella and smiled when I looked ahead and saw that the train was still available, loading passengers. To make it there on time, I started running as fast as my tiny legs could carry my slender body. And as I looked down at my wristwatch, trying to keep track of time, I bumped into someone or something so hard.
   
    The impact of the collision caused me to fall like common paper, and the moment I hit the ground, a sharp pain travelled through my waist and right foot.
   
    Shocked, I scrambled back to my feet and looked down, only to realize that I had sustained a minor injury on my foot. Angry, I looked at whoever or whatever that slammed me down, just to see that it was a little teenage girl sprawled on the ground with her bicycle lying right next to her.
   
    “Are you blind?” I tongue-lashed her out of annoyance. “Can’t you look where you’re going?”
   
    “But you knocked me down first,” the girl shot back at me, frowning. “A simple sorry would’ve gone a long way.”
   
    Unlike any other teenager, this particular girl’s voice was unbelievably deep and hoarse. She looked more like a boy with all the tattoos and piercings all over her white skin. Truthfully, she had the type of face that would frighten the scariest scarecrow, but I cared less about it at the moment. Somebody had to teach her a lesson; she obviously lacked manners.
   
    “A simple sorry, you say?” I scoffed as I widened my stance and pointed at my injured foot with a frown in place. “Take a good look at that. Am I supposed to be the one telling you sorry? Did your parents never teach you to respect your elders?”
   
    “They sure did. But one thing I know is that respect is reciprocal,” she answered sharply, giving me a mean look. “If only you would accept your wrongdoing and apologize, we’d both go our separate ways like nothing ever happened, but you are making it look as if it was all my fault, which is the problem here. Why are you so concerned about you alone? Can’t you see I also fell off a bike?”
   
    “Who freaking cares?” I spat in response, growing more furious. “Look what you did to my perfectly tanned skin, for God’s sake. Jeez! Just count yourself lucky to be a minor. If not, I would’ve legit arrested your silly, arrogant, white ass for this shit.”
   
    “Wow. It’s funny how you think that I am the arrogant one here,” the girl said bluntly, her eyebrows furrowed. “You knocked me off my bicycle without even bothering to assist me up, yet you call me names for doing absolutely nothing wrong?”
   
    Infuriated, I increased the pitch of my voice: “Shut the hell up already, little brat.” I ordered, resisting the urge to slap the living daylight out of her face. “Speaking of bikes, who the hell still rides an outdated bicycle on a sidewalk anyway?”
   
    “I don’t know… perhaps the kind of person who minds their own business without crashing into total strangers on the road?” She answered with bloodshot eyes that had me in their crosshairs.
   
    With a quick look at the surrounding, I noticed that people were already staring at us, especially at me. Ordinarily, I hated too much attention. They probably thought that I was a bad person for yelling at a rude teenage girl who offended me, but they really wouldn’t understand my pain, so I didn’t even care to explain.
   
    In order not to make a mountain out of a molehill, I picked up my umbrella and expertly flipped my middle finger at the girl so that only she could see it.
   
    “Once again, consider yourself lucky. I actually have a train to catch.” I announced in a steady whisper, grimacing. “I’ll whoop your sassy white ass some other time.”
   
    And with that, I walked past her and quickened my pace. Fortunately, I was the last passenger for the train to move. On getting inside, I had barely closed the door when someone’s voice called out to me with massive anger.
   
    “You are going to pay for this!” She screamed at the top of her voice. “You will regret this. I promise!”