❝ Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them. ❞

-Bruce Lee

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I felt like everyone knew what I was doing. My parents knew I was hiding from something, and no doubt my brother knew. Even my cat seemed to collect signals from the air around me that something was off.

I scratched behind his ear lightly. "I know I'm putting it off," I spoke to him absently.

He looked up at me with large green eyes. "And don't give me that look either. I already know I'm a wimp."

I had been picking up my phone and setting it down over and over again, contemplating whether or not I would text Max and apologize.

I knew that I should, but this was a matter on whether or not that was going to happen.

After many many hours of thinking and finally thinking clearly. I was able to see past my emotions to realize how much of a jerk I was.

Sure, I was still a little upset that he hadn't told me sooner, but that was his right. I had no right to be angry about his decisions.

I put my head in my hands for the umpteenth time, as the scene replayed in my head without a stop. I groaned at my childlike actions at the coffee shop.

Did he even want to talk to me at this point? If I were him, I would be at the very bottom of the list of people to converse with. I didn't even give him a chance to explain.

I'd chickened out of seeing him yesterday and this morning, which means that we're down to five days left due to my selfish actions.

I pursed my lips and picked up my phone, but this time it was different.

Willing to talk if you are. Tomorrow usual time?

I threw my phone down next to me, falling into a fitful sleep full of variations on how tomorrow might play out. I didn't hear my phone buzzing next to me because I was already surrounded by the sweet darkness.

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Everything was making me jittery. The soft music playing in the background that usually soothes my soul was an aching headache as I stared at the door. When I woke up this morning, my phone had two missed calls from Max but no messages.

I couldn't begin to think of what he feel the need to call me for instead of text me, and I wasn't exactly sure I wanted to know. I worked through my daily routine, this time throwing on a dash of makeup. Nothing to heavy, just something subtle enough to enhance whatever features I may have.

My mug was scalding each individual crease in my palm warming me to my feet, but my body refused to do anything except move my head. My eyes were plastered to the door, and would glance at the clock every now and then to assure myself that he still has time.

We still have time.

All of the voices around me were groggy echoes, both loud and soft yet altogether sweet music to my sensitive ears. I'm glad that even though I'm not certain that I will walk out of this coffee shop today with a smile, other people will be able to experience that happiness that I long for.

The moment I met Max, I knew I was in for something, I just didn't know what exactly. As I stared out the window to all of the pedestrians bundled up in the cold, I realized I still didn't.

A small smile graced my lips, as my gaze shifted. This was probably the first time that I have stepped out on faith and everything turned out alright for a moment.

My hands were clammy, and I was unsure whether that was due to the burning mug in my ungloved hands or because of the blonde haired boy who just walked into the shop.

As if someone was holding a string above me and yanked it, my posture immediately became stiff and awkward regardless of how much I told myself to relax. My heart thumped ferociously in my chest, having me take sharp shallow breaths as he made his way towards me.

A small smile tugged at his lips, as he went off of his morning routine, continuing towards me. My eyes shifted to the long line, and back to him with a timid smile of my own.

This was good. If he was smiling then it was obviously a good sign, correct?

He placed his stuff down in front of me, but didn't pull his seat out. Instead he circled around to table to my curious eyes, and gently pulled me up by my hand, embracing me tenderly.

It almost brought tears to my eyes how connected I felt to Max, and I had to look at the wooden ceiling to get a grip. I hugged him back with all my might, letting him know how sorry I was. It still didn't feel like enough though, and I whispered in his ear with a trembling voice.

"I'm sorry."

He nodded, continuing to grip my waist before pulling back. "Me too, and I will be for the rest of my life."

I looked away, untangling my limbs from his and brushing a piece of dark hair away from my face. I sat back down, as he watched me, before he mimicked my actions on the other side.

My eyes involuntarily snapped to his hand, and even though I knew there were only five days left, it still made my heart hurt.

Five days. That's it. All of this, all of the magic, will be over. I will no longer have a reason to feel special everyday. And the facade that I am beautiful will drop and shatter in five days.

Until then, I just had to build my armor to be sturdy enough to handle all of the weight my emotions will carry.

I had to.

Gazing up at him momentarily I asked," You aren't going to get any coffee?"

He shook his head, looking amused for a second before sobering up again. "Not today. I'd rather stay away from any possible distractions from now on," he said gazing at me from across the wooden table.

"Besides," he began again, sliding off his coat,"I discovered something better that coffee." His gaze was still plastered to mine, a slightly pink tinge gracing his pale cheeks.

I'm sure we were both blushing at his point, and all of the music and noise in the background faded off into the distance, allowing the two of us intimate space to be together. I felt as if the world felt bad for us and pitied us enough to allow us to have these final sweet moments together without any impediments.

I realized that for the first time I can remember, I wasn't as upset for an unhappy ending as I thought I was going to be. I began to notice that it made every other moment we were together more precious than the last.

To find someone that helped me see the beauty in the simple things like that was beyond any words of comprehension.

The Loni before meeting Max would have already accepted defeat and run away. Even though I did something similar to that, there is a difference is the now Loni that separates her from the old.

I came back.

I am learning to accept all of the emotions that have come with a heartbreak such as this one.

I would always be thankful to Max for not only teaching me that, but also applying it to his own life. If Max had any bad qualities, it would never be that he is insincere.

As we sit in our little space, surrounded by many people physically but miles away emotionally and mentally, I come to the honest conclusion that he is the most genuine person I have ever met, even more than my best friend at times.

"For these next few days let's go somewhere different," he started. "Let's meet here, but instead of getting coffee let's go ice skating again or visit the bookstore or anything really."

I nodded, excited at the idea of doing something a little different like our first days together. "Should we go now?"

I was confused when he shook his head no. "Today let's just enjoy each other's company right here."

I bit my lip out of habit. "I really am sorry that I just walked out on you." He reached across the table, his cold hand finding my warm one.

He smiled at me, sending goosebumps across my arms. "It's okay. The past is the past. The future is the only thing we should think about because it the only thing to look forward to."

His words of uncontainable wisdom left me short of breath and almost envious. Intelligence is something I have always admired and has always been something I have wanted for my own. I tightened my grip on his hand, and soaked in every little moment we spent together.

I wondered why it had taken me so long to realize that Max was far from a plain jane. He was extraordinary in the dullest of words, regardless of how he appeared on the outside.

And I?

I'm still wondering why he continues to talk to me because even though I have discovered that he is more than ordinary, I am still the plainest of janes.

I said I was okay with that, but in reality, I was afraid.

I was afraid that if I really was as insignificant as I have always found myself to be, Max forget about me once he left. A lump caught in my throat as I was sure my smile wavered.

I didn't want him to forget about me. I felt like even if the world was ending, I would be unable to forget about him.

Would he say the same?