Chapter 43

We were wandering around the shopping mall, when finally, the shop where Alex's potential boyfriend was close by. "Let's go to this shop," Daph pointed happily, smirking, not being subtle about it at all.

What were we supposed to do if the guy wasn't there?

"Are you sure? We could always go to the other shop over there. It looks more like your type of clothes," Alex said looking a little odd.

Oh yeah, Daphnee had been on to something.

"My type of clothes? Because you think I have a type of clothes?" she snorted and walked right in the shop.

Alex didn't look so eager to join.

"Papa Bear, if you don't come help me pick clothes, I will drag you by your own," she threatened in the shop and Alex reluctantly followed.

The latest big pop song blasting through the stereo and a guy, that I recognized as the seller from last time was folding shirts.

When he turned around, to greet us probably, I saw his pretty face again. Last time it was before Daphnee had left for her vacations in Morocco, another shopping day like this one. She'd found his smiling face and nice built attractive but had figured out quite fast that she wasn't his type.

And now, this beautiful boy's eyes were glued to Alex, almost shinning.

"A—" he started to say smiling but the letter caught in his throat, his eyes darting between me and Daph and Alex and I think Alex was making cut your neck moves with his hand, "Alalalalalala..." he kinda sang, trying to hide, obviously. "How can I help you?"

"Cut the crap sexy boy and let's just get to the point," Daph said, walking up to him.

"I'm sorry I don't," he trailed, but Daph cut him

"Does my ass look fat in those jeans?" she asked, turning a little on the side, showing it to him.

I rolled my eyes at her.

"No, it looks really great," he answered, smiling.

"What about hers?" she asked pointing at me, motioning me to turn around on myself with her index, which I did, still rolling my eyes.

"Great too."

"Alright, and what do you think about his ass?" she said, her voice evil, pointing Alex whose eyes threatened to pop out of their sockets.

Oh god no.

Was she really doing this, right now, like this?

My friend was crazy.

"Great too, but could always look better in spandex football pants," he answered after a few seconds of hesitation.

"Travis," Alex almost squealed, panicking.

"Oh please Alex this is just ridiculous," the boy replied.

"Ah ha! In your face Alex. I knew it. Just knew it. You should have seen your face the other time we came here, all red and blushing when you looked at him," Daph beamed.

"Daph, shutup," Alex mumbled, and the guy, Travis smiled. "It's not, we're not, why are you..." he kept on going looking worryingly at me.

"No, you shut up Alex. Now," she said and turned to the guy, "Travis, he said right? Travis, what's going on between you and our best friend?"

"I guess he's the one who should be telling you," Travis trailed, looking a little worried now.

Stupid Alex, making his potential boyfriend worrying by not wanting us to meet him and freaking out.

"Travis don't... look it's just," Alex said looking at him and then turned towards Daphnee. "Couldn't you just ask? Just," he stopped, shaking his head, and then stared straight at me. "Lexi I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you sooner. I'm so sorry," he whispered.

Sure, it would have been nice of him to mention it to me sooner. Didn't I kinda deserve that? But, this wasn't about me, so I shouldn't be making a big deal out of it, or make it about me.

"You're Lexi?" Travis asked, looking at me, smiling again.

He really had a pretty smile. Alex had good taste in men.

"Yeah," I replied.

"I heard a lot about you," he still smiled.

"And I've seen him text you a lot of times," I laughed shortly.

And just like that, I didn't care if Alex hadn't found the guts to tell me sooner. I understood that it was hard for him.

I wasn't the center of this universe. People had their own problems. Everyone did, and Alex too.

"Yeah, he gets kind of obsessive," Travis laughed.

"Okay so wait up. You and him, is it a thing? Are you a package deal now?" Daphnee pressed.

"Well, Alex? Are we?" Travis asked.

"I guess we kinda are," Alex half smiled and I was happy to see him happy.

The concept of Alex being with a guy was still kinda strange after dating him. I didn't have a problem with it or anything, it was just... I don't know a kind of jealousy making me feel this way.

He never could have loved me, and that hurt.

But I wasn't going to mention that. I was happy for him, happy he had found happiness, and someone he might be able to really love this time.

"Oh goodies," Daph smiled widely. "Oh, and you'll see. You'll like us," she told Travis. "We might be weird, but not the bad weird. We're weird but good weird not freaky weird, you know?"

I rolled my eyes again, and Travis smiled, Alex a little more too.

Strangely, I found myself thinking about Blake.

I wanted to see Blake right now. I didn't know why, but I felt like things would feel less weird if he was there. It was such strange realization to have, but I couldn't help it.

I mostly felt good with Blake around, sure, I was often confused, but I was always laughing with him, and having fun.

Stop thinking about him, this is so not the moment.

"Alright, let's give the love birds a few minutes," Daph interrupted my thinking and then dragged me out of the shop.

"Weren't you the one who so desperately wanted to come here?" I snorted.

"I'm sorry, I hadn't thought about the whole you and him deal. I just thought about the fact that our friend wasn't being completely honest with us. I didn't want him to have to hide anything. I thought I'd make things easier, but it was stupid cause I didn't think about you," she apologized.

"Don't worry about it," I half smiled and sat on a bench, her beside me.

"No, I was stupid. Well, I'm stupid, but also really really sorry about it."

"I know, don't worry," I repeated.

Few minutes later Alex joined us, and we kept walking around the mall.

We stopped at a food court, ordered pizza, and then sat at a table.

Daphnee was babbling about some fact, that was probably pretty interesting, but just the way Alex looked guiltily at me made me unable to concentrate on anything else.

"Alright, if you guys don't care about it, I'll go find Jeff, I'm sure he'll like my lists," Daph said dramatically, got up and walked away.

"I'm sorry Kitty," Alex automatically said.

"Don't. Really, you don't need to do this. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm happy for you actually. You deserve to be with someone you can love, someone you do love."

"Don't say that Kitty. I love you, I just... I'm so sorry. Sorry for hurting you, sorry for replacing you, if it's what it feels like. Basically, I'm sorry for everything. The last thing I want is to hurt you again."

"Don't worry, you aren't hurting me Alex. I'm happy for you," I smiled at him and I was.

I really was.

Alex wasn't my boyfriend anymore, and truthfully, now that I really thought about it, he never really had been that for me.

Alex was my friend. That was the role he was meant to have in my life.

Daphnee came back a few minutes later, and then we shopped a little more, and finally drove back to Alex place.

"You'll come watch a game at my place tomorrow, right?" Alex asked, as I walked towards Daph's car.

"Yeah," I smiled and then got in the car and drove back home.

"I'm home," I announced when I walked through the threshold but didn't hear any answer.

I walked up the stairs and could hear Ty playing video games.

"Hey there," I said as I opened his door.

"Hey."

"Where's Dad?"

"Out with Anthony again. I think they were going to go see a game of something. Don't remember what," Ty trailed, his eyes always glued to the screen.

I was glad to think that Dad was out with a friend.

This would be good for him.

But Ty was still sad.

"I talked with Vanessa yesterday," I said, sitting beside him, crossed legged on his bed and felt him stiffen. "And we're going to find a way to have her come visit for a few days. That would be nice right?"

I hoped that could cheer him up, because otherwise I had nothing.

"And then what? She comes but then she leaves?"

No, not helping.

"Ty, look," I started to say but he cut me, handing me a joystick.

"Less talking more killing," he told me so I played Call of Duty with him, shooting everything in sight and not thinking.

Not thinking about the fact that Ty was still sad, or the fact that my best friend had a boyfriend, or that I hadn't had news from Blake all day long.

At the end of the evening, Ty looked a little happier.

I didn't know if it was because of all the zombie killing or because he had thought more about Vanessa coming here and seen good in it, and wasn't about to ask, but I was happier too.

But Blake still hadn't called.

That didn't make me happier.

I went to sleep again, still waiting for a call or a text, anything to prove me he was still alive.

Maybe I was just crazy and he was an invention of my imagination. Maybe I had made him up and he wasn't real. That would explain a lot of things, all the confusing things about him.

God. Why did I care so much?

I didn't freak when Van didn't call me for a day.

I didn't sleep well again, always checking the phone lying on my bedside table and was pissed at myself when I finally fell asleep.

I woke up and wasn't surprise to see I had overslept and it was way past noon.

I got out of bed, looking for everyone and found a note on the fridge.

Ty had gone to play soccer with his friends, and Dad had a meeting. I was all alone.

Alone with my mind.

My damn mind that couldn't get over Blake.

I wanted to distract myself until going to Alex's place to watch the football game. I settled on drawing, but nothing I did made sense, and I got worked up against everything so I just abandoned the project and picked a book from my library and read, without really seeing the words.

Don't think about him, don't think about him, don't think about him, why hasn't he called, don't think about him.

Around four, I got dressed and tried to do something with the mess I called my hair and finally drove to Alex's place.

He opened the door for me, explained his parents had gone out to dinner together. All I could hear was the twins shouting at the screen in the living room.

"Has the game even started yet?" I asked Alex.

"It's curling right now, I think," he frowned and laughed, but his eyes still had the worried look from yesterday.

If only he knew how little that incident worried me, compare to someone else.

"Curling. Lame," I joked, and walked to the TV, founding the twins engrossed with the game.

"Hey Lexi," they both said at the same time and then pushed each other, laughing.

I smiled at them.

Hanging with my friends should make me forget about everything.

"You sitting between the two last small pieces of heaven on earth?" Cameron asked, smiling mischievously.

I rolled my eyes, but let myself fall in the tiny space they left me to sit on, making me lean my back against Cameron and my legs a little on Trevor.

Connor arrived few minutes later and sat on a recliner like Alex. We all watched the game, making jokes, screaming at the screen, but I couldn't find it in me to concentrated on anything. All because of damn Blake and my stupid phone in my back pocket that wasn't ringing.

During half time, Alex gestured for me to come in the kitchen with him, saying he needed help to bring the chips and pop corn and pop.

"I'm sorry about yesterday again Lexi. I'm so sorry. I just hope... I know it's hard for you, but I just hope that one day things can get back to the way they were, and you can forgive me again, even if I still don't deserve it," he told me the second we were out of hearing range.

"What? You think my sulking as to do with yesterday?" I chuckled.

"Doesn't it?"

"Look, Alex, don't worry about me, alright? I don't mind about you and Travis. Honestly you could even have invited him here today. Dada and I need an official meeting with him. I don't mind, not at all. My moodiness has nothing to do with you."

"Then what?"

Right, like I was going to get into that. Never.

"Not important, and we're not pushing it, alright? I'm tired and I just don't want to think about it alright?"

"Fine," he agreed and then we went back to the living room.

When the game was over, I told the guys I needed to go back home right away, so I said goodbye and left.

Tonight, I didn't want to not sleep because of Blake.

Tonight, I was pissed.

What was he trying to do? To prove? Was it because we almost made out in his room? To show me he didn't care? That it was a mistake and I shouldn't be making up scenarios in my head?

Or did he just genuinely like to torture me?

Ugh.

I went to bed early, Ty and Dad not even home yet and was able to fall asleep early this time but then woke up around one in the morning and couldn't find sleep again.

I waited until two and then had enough.

He could think whatever he wanted about me, but I needed to sleep. If I could just hear his voice I was sure it could fix everything.

The phone rang quite a few times, and I was getting more pissed by the second. Right when I was about to hang up though, I heard a groggy voice on the other side of the line.

"Yeah?" Blake voice asked.

He sounded tired.

Like super-duper tired.

"Blake, are you alright?" I asked suddenly worried and not angry one bit anymore.

"Lexi?"

"Yeah, Blake are you okay? You sound like hell."

"What time is it?" he asked, sounding utterly confused.

"Two in the morning."

"Really? Just two? Hmm. Felt like way longer," he said and then yawned. "So, still doing the streets tomorrow, don't want to come see me?" Blake asked.

"What are you talking about? We have school tomorrow," I frowned.

"What?"

"Yeah. It's two in the morning, like Monday morning."

"Are you shitting me?" Blake asked, his voice raising.

"Nope."

"Damn, I thought... I thought we were like Saturday morning."

"What'd you do? Pass out in a gutter? Sex marathon? High on drugs?"

"No I was p... reading actually."

I almost wanted to clap my hands at that. Reading was fine. Reading didn't mean he spent his whole weekend with someone else, someone other than me.

And why should that matter? Ugh.

"And what, you space out?" I snorted.

"I guess I just got way too into it."

"That's the understatement of the year," I laughed a little and then yawned.

"You tired Pumpkin?" Blake asked his voice... caring?

Maybe I was just hearing what I wanted to hear.

"You too Blakey-Boy," I snorted.

"True, we should go sleep," he trailed.

"Yeah, that sounds pretty nice," I agreed, nodding my head, resting it back on my pillow.

"Alright, go sleep Pumpkin," Blake said his voice soft.

"You too, idiot," I laughed.

"Night," Blake laughed a little too, and yawned again.

"Good night," I whispered and hung up.

_____________

Hello my little Pumpkins. I am once again, veeeeery late. 0_0

Sorry about that!

I made a lot of changes to this chapter, more than I usually do. I just didn't know how I wanted to go about the beginning of that chapter when Daphnee makes a scene in the clothing store, and ultimately figured that I didn't need that part at all. Daphnee was pretty rude in there. When I was a teenager, I thought she was funny, but now, not so much. So yeah. That part is gone. XD

So! The live reading shall be at 11AM EST on Sunday August 8th (so in like 7 hours... god I need to sleep) at instagram.com/kaygiard.

If you have any questions you can leave them here.

Otherwise, I shall go now. Bed is SCREAMING for me. XD