Hywel fumbled to hastily ready his pistol before the pirates boarded, then tightened his belt and pressed himself against the panel furthest from the hatch, chest heaving. With a slight hissing sound, his entry hatch was forced open by the ship that had just docked with his.

When a foot appeared in the dark doorway, Hywel squeezed the trigger. The shot hit the frame and fizzled out with a slight pop!

Raucous laughter filled the small chamber as two young men in black clothes and shiny knee-high boots stepped onto his ship.

"Ahoy, old man! Is that the best you've got?" The first man, tall with jet black hair tied in a topknop and a bold purple sash around his waist, moved his cutlass aside as he leaned forward to touch the scorch mark where the shot had landed. "Good thing you hit your own ship. I'd be mighty upset if you'd marred mine. I want my first scars from battle!"

The second shorter man, sporting a tricorn hat, quickly strode the three steps across and snatched the pistol Hywel was trying to prime for another shot. "I think that pistol is as ancient as you! My dad has a whole collection. I thank you on his behalf for adding to it." He snickered and shoved the pistol into the wide black leather belt that held a laser cutlass and the newest ball blaster model, available only from the Academy. He put his fists on his hips and stared menacingly as Hywel cowered before him.

Hywel held his hands up in front of his face. "P-p-please, don't hurt me!"

"We won't...much. Now, what other booty do you have around here?"

Hywel's eyes swiveled to a hatch a few feet away. The young man grunted and grabbed Hywel's collar, dragging him along. With a heave, the pirate hefted Hywel forward and shoved him at the door. The old man hit the closed metal with a thud and slide down it to crumple on the floor.

"Open it!" the young man barked, kicking Hywel swiftly in the stomach.

Hywel doubled over in pain. From the floor, he looked up at the two pirates in hatred. They had crests on their upper right shoulder that he didn't recognise. It was common knowledge this quadrant was controlled by the Red Sea Fleet. Perhaps these two were from a new Captain trying to encroach. Idiot.

With slow movements, Hywel grabbed onto the doorframe and pulled himself to standing. He kept one hand protectively over his sore stomach and pressed his palm to the switch that opened the door.

Mist swirled out bringing the sweet scent of loam, fragrant blossoms and plants. The young men inhaled reflexively. When the mist cleared, they saw a room full of rows upon rows of cacti.

"Well, at least we know we have the right ship," the first one said.

Looking back over his shoulder, Hywel asked, "You were looking for me?"

The second pirate sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "We're here to relieve you of your haul. Particularly the Federation's new virtual reality training gear. Do you know how much they're worth on the Black Market?"

"We'll be able to retire before we even got started with a load like that." The pirates bumped fists.

Hywel limped into the cacti room. "Still wet behind the ears, huh? What decided ye to try the pirate's life?"

The second one stepped through after Hywel, stopping to look in appreciation around the room that had cacti of every shape and size. Some were covered in spectacularly colored blossoms, while others had spines the length of a man's hand.

"The Academy. Wasn't for us. Damn rules and regulations for every little thing. When to eat, when to sleep, what to wear, how to wear it."

"What to do and who to do it with!" the first one joined in.

Hywel scratched his ear. "So, you decided to fly the Jolly Roger and go on account among the stars?"

"Yeah! No one breathing down our necks. No rules! Do what we want, when we want, to who we want!" The second one shoved Hywel, who hissed when his hands landed on a particularly large, spiky cactus.

With great care, Hywel pushed himself upright without having to hug the cactus in order to do it.

He shuffled forward and said, "Set out your Pirate's Code yet?"

There was a pause then the two men burst out laughing. "Pirate's Code? What kind of codswallop are you shovelling, old man?"

Hywel looked back over his shoulder. "I guess you skipped that lecture at the Academy. It's a time-honoured tradition that every pirate vessel has a Code set down by its Captain that the crew agree to follow. How do you divide the bounty? What about prisoners - especially wenches? What if one of you steals from the other? Or a crew member deserts during a fight?" Hywel shrugged. "Things like that."

The first one guffawed. "Well, our code is to do what we want, when we want, to who we want."

The first one leered. "There's only two of us, so we split everything equally. Women included!"

"Stars, yeah!" the second one yelled, holding his hand up for another fist bump.

They were too busy celebrating to see Hywel's minute head shake. "Will it always be just the two of you? Methinks that's a right small fleet. Which of you is the captain, if you please?"

"I am!" they said together, then glared at each other.

"I'm older!" the first one said, jerking a thumb at his chest.

"Well, I got into the Academy first!" the second one said, shoving the first's shoulder.

The first man started to raise a fist.

Hywel chuckled.

"Shut up old man!" the first said, shoving Hywel hard so he fell into the cacti again.

"Blimey!" Hywell yelled. His arms pinwheeled for balance. He spun on a heel and grabbed at the two men's clothes, jerking them forward into several pots while he managed to just sit on the floor.

They landed with cries of "By the stars!" "Ouch!" "Watch the spikes!"

With the slow speed of advanced age, Hywel dragged himself up off the floor and immediately began examining the damage to his precious plants.

The men were struggling out from under two tall cacti that had fallen on top of them, destroying the verdant columns in the process with their fists and knives. Finally standing, they began to pluck out the spines embedded in their skin with cries of pain.

Hiding a smirk, Hywel shuffled forward.

"Don't do that again, old man!" the first one said. A swish cut the air, and Hywel saw the top of one of his tallest cactus plants go flying. Hywel turned, fists bunched at his sides.

The young man stood facing him, cutlass raised and shiny from the cactus juice. His shoulders were hunched up around his ears, head lowered as if he would charge forward and ram Hywel. Red spots were beginning to bloom on his face.

Relaxing his fists, Hywel raised his hands in peace and said calmly, "I'm just an old freebooter. My sense of balance isn't what it used to be." Hoping to calm them he asked, "Tell me about your ship. It's an impressive piece of machinery."

The second one winced as he pulled out a final spine. "My parents gave it to me as a graduation present. It's top of the line, of course. We decided we didn't want to enlist, so we went AWOL as soon as we got the ship. Pirating is much better."

"Ye don't say," said Hywel, scratching his head. "What about Pedro Gilbert? He doesn't much like interlopers in his quadrant."

The men looked at each other and sneered. "We have plans for him. It's time for the mighty pirate Don Pedro to fall."

"Scuttlebutt says his fleet is 500 strong. How do ye plan to beat them with one ship?"

"That's what his delicious daughter is for!" The two smirked and exchanged conspiratorial looks.

Hywel eyebrows shot up. "His daughter? You've clapped eyes on Ching Shih?"

"Met her? We have her and had her!" The second one jerked a thumb back towards their ship, puffing his chest out.

"Ye scallywags have cahonies the size of watermelons to have even looked at her. I don't want to know how ye got 'er away from Don Pedro - no, wait, be so good to tell me." Hywel stopped and turned, arms folded over his chest and eyebrows raised expectantly. "Ye'll probably just off me anyway, so what could it hurt?"

"You're right." The first one snorted and plucked out one last spine. "These stupid plants will get the heave ho along with you."

"Cacti are precious swag. But before I enlighten ye, how did you snag Ching Shih?"

"The same way we get all stupid women. We sent her an invitation to a party. Then we just had to drug her and her bodyguards and poof! She was ours."

"Hmmm, I bet Don Pedro won't be happy with them bodyguards. Where are they right about now?"

The second one jerked his thumb back at his ship again. "Dead men tell no tales. We tortured them for information... such as the fact that you have Federation VR. So, lead on, old man. Hidden treasure awaits!"

"No cheating us either!" The first man pointed his cutlass at Hywel, but got distracted slashing the air with a goofy smile on his face. "Listen to that!"

Hywel held up his hands placatingly."You may depend on my understanding that I can walk the plank any time, and yer give no quarter. I won't hornswaggle ye, so no need to feed the fishes an old seadog like me. How you bilge rats feeling, anyway? Those spots look right pox-like."

With slow exaggerated movements the two turned their heads to look at each other.

The first one broke into giggles and pointed at his partner. "You've got antlers!"

The second one grasped the air around the top of his head, running his hands up invisible structures. In a dreamy voice he said, "They're branches. I'm like a tree. My leaves might change color, but my roots are the same. What color are my leaves now?"

A dopey smile stretched across the first one's face. "Multi-color. It's a better display than the pavlin feathers my sister's gather every year."

Now that he didn't have to pretend to be frail, Hywel stood upright and put his hands on his hips. "Avast ye! Now yer three sheets to the wind, let me educate ye a bit about cacti. First thing is that when handling the particular cross-breed of Golden Torch yer fell into it's important to wear protective gear, because it has a hallucinogenic substance in its spines. Or ye can have artificial limbs like me."

"You've got fake legs?"

"Aye, ye son of a biscuit eater! Arms and legs all robotic."

The second man began waving a hand in front of his face, following it slowly with his eyes. "Did you leave them somewhere?"

Hywel rolled his eyes. "Lost 'em during the raid on the Asir."

The first man sat down on the floor and clapped his hands rhythmically as he struggled to think clearly. "Asir... Asir... That was the Federation prison ship that held Don Pedro. Some of his crew broke him out right before his execution! We learned about that in the Academy!"

Both swung their heads to look at Hywel. The second exclaimed, "You're PegLeg! The legend!"

"Aye, 'twer close. Don Pedro almost danced the hempen jig."

The first man lay on his stomach and began trying to swim across the floor. "But that whole ship got destroyed! How did you do it?"

"Cold steel and ran a rig. Now-"

"But you lost your arms and legs!" The second man grabbed Hywel's arm and began wailing.

"Ye best be listening close now. The Pirate Code, the importance of which yer lads are woefully unaware, protected me. Don Pedro's Code ensures his crew will be compensated for loss of limb. In my case, considering I lost so much as well as saved Don Pedro's life and greatly inconvenienced the Federation by destroying their main prison, I were given special compensation."

"You grow cactus plants."

"Buss my blind cheeks! I'm much more than that. Follow me aft, landlubbers."

The two men obediently fell into step behind Hywel as he wove his way through the cacti forest, until he stopped and gestured to the plants beside him. "Hold fast for a moment. I'll educate ye shark bait a bit more. These-"

"Are we leaving soon?" The first man asked, slowly gyrating to a tune only he could hear.

"Nay, we'll be rubbin' along together for a good while yet." Hywel nodded back to the section of cacti that took up two thirds of the hold. "These here are prickly pear cacti. Very nutritious and good for warding off scurvy. Don Pedro is a proper old salt. He rightly reckoned if we had our own supply, we wouldn't have to rely on highjacking the right loot. Of course, along with the odd surface raid, we plunder everything else we need that way, but having our own cacti supply means the crew stays healthy all the time."

"Since I'm not fit for raiding, t'was the first dispensation Don Pedro gave me. The spines don't affect my artificial limbs, so I do all the growing and harvesting with the aid of a few bots. Onward ho! Make haste now!"

With a swift step, Hywel led them into a small chamber with dim overhead lights and large objects ringing the room.

"Before I bend your ear to me beauties here, let me help ye off with your equipment, if you please." As docile as babies, the men allowed Hywel to divest them of their weapons and clothing. He folded everything neatly and added them to shelves containing a wide variety of clothing and weapons. He stuck his ancient pistol back into his own belt.

Hywel easily picked up the first man under the arms and dropped him in the centre of what appeared to be a large pinkish couch.

The man touched the surface with a fingertip and was only able to pull it off with great force. "I think you spilled something here," he said, sniffing his finger and accidentally touching his nose, fusing them together. Slight panic entered his eyes the more he pulled ineffectively on his skin.

As Hywel guided the second man to another couch he said, "Stop struggling now, there's a good lad. Why don't you both lie back and get comfortable? Looking at me though, ye gits. Can't have ye suffocatin'."

Both men obediently lay back, prone. The second man's foot hung off the edge, making Hywel frown. He tugged at it even though he knew it wouldn't move. "That'll be messy," he murmured.

With a tsk, he taped their mouths shut and gave each an injection. He sang a shanty until the fog had cleared from their eyes before continuing his talk.

"Now you're only a mite squiffy, listen here for our final lesson. This room is called The Locker. It's the biggest dispensation Don Pedro allows me. See I have been given special permission to work for not only Don Pedro, but anyone who needs my particular services. However, again following Code, all Red Flags benefit, since any profits or bits I acquire are shared equally with the crew. We'll split up yer ship the same way. "

Hywel walked to a large vase-like structure in a corner of the room. The characteristic cacti green was mottled with streaks of purple and white, and the top was open like a large pitcher. He laid a gentle hand on its side, creating a slight undulation across its surface. "'Tis joy to me these cacti."

He continued talking as he walked back over to stand before his guests, but his eyes roamed around the different colored and shaped pods that lined the walls.

"These here started as cacti hybrids, then I spliced in other species. What ye see is the result of combining cacti with different carnivorous plants."

"Davy and Jones, where yer sittin', were from my very first hybrid, a San Pedro mixed with a Peruvian Torch. Now just look at the magnificence it has become cross-bred with a Venus Fly Trap!" Hywel beamed at the two gigantic pods.

"True as death, who'd've guessed what I'd create? With a bit of growth hormone I tweaked, several grafts and enough grog to sink the fleet, I created yer final repose, if you will."

Hywel walked over and ran a hand along the ruffled edge above the first man. The plant responded by lowering the entire top slightly.

"As it chances you're here when my lassies need feedin'. They're not greedy, make no doubt of that. They only eat every eight months or so. As ye can see, though, they're both ready fer some grub. I have another client who needs a disposal, but he don't care how I see to it."

Hywel stroked the fringe on the top of the second man's hybrid, causing it to lower slightly too.

"Don Pedro on the other hand... Well, he agreed Davy and Jones were the best in the Locker for ye since ye feckless sprats took his daughter. Shall I tell ye why?"

Instead of a nod, the first man began mumbling and trying to pull his limbs free. His eyes became more and more frantic as his mind cleared as the drug left his system. The second man lay still, tears running from his closed eyes to pool on the shiny surface below him.

"Ye see, what ye can't feel quite yet is that the digestive juices are already a-working. The hallucinogens will wear off in rough about fifteen minutes, but it'll take onwards of six hours for the pod to fully close. By that time you'll be beggin' to die. Savvy?"

A chime sounded through the ship. "Shiver me timbers! Captain's here already. It's not VR equipment he's come fer, though. That's just a story the bodyguards lob to get someone here for disposal. Works every time, too. Yer know what he's here for." Hywel smiled menacingly.

The first man's eyes bulged, while the second sobbed quietly.

Hywel leaned in so he could get a good look at their faces. "Only for her sake, I hope you didn't scuttle Ching Shih. Although whether she is or isn't, better batten down the hatches, ye scurvy dogs, because Don Pedro will use the full six hours before the pod closes to keelhaul ye. Mark my words, he'll wear yer nutmegs for earbobs! "

"Sail ho!" Hywel sang out when the ship bucked slighty as it was docked and both men began to scream for mercy.