I have been avoiding a certain person with dark eyes for two days now. I don't really have a reason for doing it. I doubt he has even noticed that I am trying not to cross paths with him. But I am still doing it anyways.

Sunday night Olivia asked me if Foster had been rude to me in the class.

"No, why do you ask?"

We were on our respective beds, me with a copy of 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' propped open in between my thighs while I was half lying down and Liv was painting her toes some shade of red.

"Did he ever try to hurt you in any way, maybe when you went with him yesterday?"

When she asked that my memories flew back a few years and a barrage of images of my pre-transition period flashed in my head. And when I contemplated Liv's question again, I came out with just one answer.

No.

As much as I hated to say it, but Foster had not really done anything. His friends were the ones who had done the damage. On the contrary, Foster had not done anything.

"What's with the impromptu questioning?" I prodded which made her look at me raising her head from where it was resting on her knees.

"As far as I know, he has been kind to you since the classes started, he willingly kept you company in that party and he also offered you a ride to and fro Michigan Ave. Yet you seem to always get agitated whenever his topic comes up."

I have known this girl for just a little over two weeks and yet she senses my vibes and the ways I behave in certain situations. Her question had caught me off-guard and I took my time before replying.

"He just infuriates me to no end, I don't think I can let him be my friend, I don't think he deserves it."

And that much was very true. Liv was right. Foster had been nothing but been a gentleman to me from the start of the semester. But my mind did not want to forget the middle-school version of him. I still thought that if someone were to discover about my transition and harass me about it, would he still stand in the corner and watch and not say anything? I did not know the answer to that question, and neither did I wanted to.

Liv had gotten up from her bed to come and sit in front of me and had held my shoulders firmly.

"Rach, I respect what you feel, but, I don't think you would have those thoughts if he had never really harmed you, as you told me. Nevertheless, I think the guy is just too sweet to you and you should at least give him a chance."

"You don't know him Liv,"

"I know, I am just saying this from whatever I have heard about him from you. You really need to let people in Rach."

The stupid figures of bonds drawn in front of me made absolutely no sense and I put my head between the pages of the extraordinarily thick book in front of me and closed my eyes in frustration.

Sue me for remembering late-night roommate conversations while trying to catch up (and failing miserably) on Organic Chemistry.

"It can't be that bad Rach," I looked up to see a confused Sara looking at me from across the table, her binder artfully placed across her on the table that we had occupied for the evening.

"You try to understand Organic Chemistry with a distracted brain and an upcoming test on your head and you will know,"

"How come do you have a test so early in the semester?"

"I don't know I am just tired and I want to go to bed already," I slammed my head on the book again and shut my eyes.

It was Wednesday, also known as my second workday at the diner. Evie is honestly the best manager I could have had at a first job and Audre is a sweetheart. Both of them are willing to adjust and make room for me making mistakes and are always ready to help.

Working in the diner is relatively very easy than what I had previously thought, the most difficult part being, giving forced smiles to customers even when you are not feeling it, and according to Audre, weekends and the near end of semesters when students pile up there to study together.

But working in the diner along with a tight study schedule is something else, which I had not taken into account when searching for jobs.

I heard the scrape of a chair being pulled on the floor and felt a body sit down on it with a thud. As I opened my eyes I could see jean-clad legs wearing a pair of converse, a guy(as revealed by the perfectly toned legs) was not sitting down beside Sara.

"Here's your copy of Wuthering Heights, thanks for lending it to me," I groaned internally as I recognized his voice. How come this guy finds a way to always be somewhere near me? And how does he have a great fashion sense?

"Your welcome, did you find what you were looking for?" I heard Sara and raised my head at the same time to look at Foster, his eyes shifting to mine as I did so.

"Are you glaring at me because I ruined your sleep?"

My frown deepened at his words but he continued even before I could think of a reply.

"Because if you are, then let me remind you that this is a library, and it's meant for studying, not sleeping-"

"I was studying - " I exclaimed, and realized that I should lower my voice before the librarian decides to kick me out.

"I was just taking a small break when you interrupted me," I replied, in a voice much lower than what I had used before.

"What are you studying anyway?" He leaned forward and pulled the book towards himself.

"Organic Chemistry is a bit-"

"I did this stuff in school," Foster mused, forcing me to look at him with an expression which would alone be enough to cause severe harm(emotional, not physical).

"Well okay, Mr. Smartass, no need to brag around here," I said in an irritated tone and pinched the bridge of my nose to calm the headache that was now slowly creeping in.

"I am not bragging, what I meant was that I can help you study," he said with a smile as if he had just handed me the solution to all the problems in my life. Little did he know that his being near me would only make mine and his own life more complicated.

"As much as I appreciate you offering to help me, I think I can manage well on my own,"

"Rachel, I am well versed with all this shit, I won't even have to open that thick ass book to - "

"I have given you my answer Wilson, thank you, but no thank you," I cut him off and replied with a clipped tone, and winced slightly when I realized how rude I must have sounded.

"Your choice Smith, you have my number in case you decide to change your mind," he got up and left after thanking Sara once again for the book.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Rachel?" Sara was flipping through the pages of her book and had a calm expression on her face.

I honestly have no idea how she does it. She manages to have a neutral expression whatever the situation may be. She would have the same calm demeanor always, whether you tell her that she had become the President of America (any day better than what we currently have in my opinion) or that the apocalypse was here and she was going to die.

"What are you talking about Sara?" I questioned back, knowing full well what she was talking about.

"That guy is trying to help you - "

"I don't need any one's - "

"Let me rephrase, a totally hot guy - "

"He isn't even that hot - "

" - is trying to help you, and seems totally into you - "

"- bullshit, you are imagining - "

" - any girl would beg to study with him - "

" - girls nowadays are crazy - "

" - shut the fuck up Rachel, let me speak."

That shut me up and I looked at her with an expression of a child who had just been reprimanded by her grandmother.

"What I mean to say is, Foster is being a friendly person and trying to help you without any ulterior motive - "

"He must have something - "

"I am saying this because I have seen him helping a lot of people, Rachel. If you think it's just you then let me burst your bubble," Sara finished and I was looking at her with wide eyes.

"He is just that, a helpful person that's all, I think your overthinking mind is trying to read to much into things, and you are wrong,"

Even though what she said left me bereft of words I tried to calm myself before answering.

"Okay, Sara, fine, I agree he is not a bad guy, that he is, in general, a do-gooder, I don't doubt what you say," my words seemed to have a calming effect on her and I continued to speak.

"But I guess by now, you know that I don't really talk to many people, the only people I really talk to is you and Liv, and I am okay with that - "

Sara let out a sigh before speaking, "I know Rach, I didn't mean to force you, it's just that he is perfectly cool with helping you out and yet you refused, even though you know that you don't really have an option,"

About that she was right, Sara and Olive did not take this class with me, asking a random person from the class was not something I wanted to do for two big reasons. One was like I mentioned above, asking a random person from the class, and the second reason was introducing them to my slow working brain.

"You know what, I will try to work it out on my own, people do this in school, so I can too," and with that, I began packing my stuff in my bag. It was nearing at 10 P.M. and the library had already emptied apart from one other girl except me and Sara.

Just as I kept my binder in my bag and turned back to pick my phone up from the table I noticed that Sara was holding it and had the same neutral expression on her face.

"Can I have my phone back?" I was looking at Sara with a skeptical expression and she seemed to be waiting for something.

"Uh-huh, just a minute," and with that my phone chimed in her hand and a smile appeared on her face. I leaned across the table to snatch the phone back from her and saw that the chat window with Foster was opened up.

"Fucking hell Sara, what have you - " I looked up to see Sara with a very satisfied smile plastered on her face.

I scrolled up the entire length of the chat to read it,

Hey Foster, so I changed my mind about you helping me

Are you still up for it?

Wilson: Yeah, sure

Wilson: Tell me whenever you are free and we can plan to meet.

I have work on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays

Apart from that, I am pretty much free

Wilson: Umm, will Saturday evening do?

Wilson: I have certain things to do tomorrow.

It will work perfectly.

Wilson: K then, see you on Sat

Wilson: Bye!

Sure, bye!!

I looked up from my screen after reading the entire thing twice to see Sara looking at me.

"Why did you?" I sighed in a defeated manner, knowing that I really had been overreacting, at least that's how it looked like to her.

"I did it because if I didn't, you would certainly fail that test you have after two weeks,"

I looked at her and then looked back at the screen.

"Maybe you are right,"

After that, we began collecting our things from the table in silence. It was only after we had exited the library and Sara had to go in the opposite direction from mine when she spoke.

"I also did it because you need to let more people in Rachel, having friends is not such a bad thing," she hugged me and left, leaving me startled in the middle of the campus. Her words, very similar to the one's that Liv had said a few nights ago, echoed in my head for a long time after that.

This is the longest chapter I have written yet(at least I think so).

Hope you are all doing fine and are safe and sound!!

Drop in your thoughts about the book here. I really love reading your comments. They literally push me to work harder.

That's it for today.

Until next time.<3