Dear Theo,

Starting that way sounded good in my head, but looking at it now, I don't like it. I've never called you Theo, so let me try again. 

My Teddy,

It's no secret that I've never been good with words. There are just so many and stringing them together to convey what I'm trying to say isn't always easy. Most times I get so flustered that I end up stammering and just stopping mid-sentence. 

Lists, on the other hand, I'm good at. There's this organized chaos to them that I understand. Maybe you'll understand this letter, maybe you won't, but it's the best way I know to tell you what I can't say out loud.

So here is a list of my favorite things and why, in no particular order. 

Pink Starbursts. Don't get me wrong, the other colors are good. Orange is a very close second, but there is something about the pink ones that gives true meaning to the word contradiction. They're sweet but at the same time, when you smile while chewing, your cheeks hurt from the tang.

Starbucks. In fact, any drink from there with caramel I'll drink, but I digress. I just love that hundreds of people can go in for a drink and no two of them get the exact same thing.  They're like the chameleon drink maker and everything is based on who's ordering. 

Lightning Storms. Not in an 'I hope lightning strikes something and starts a fire' kind of way. That'd be weird. Not that weird isn't okay! It is! I'm just saying that... okay. I'm rambling. I'm sorry back to the topic.

LIghtning, in its easiest definition, is the passing of electricity from one cloud to another. But that's not what I see. It's a presence demanding to be seen in the darkness. It tears through the sky not caring what it has to pass to get where it's going. 

It's hard to rank my favorite things but there is one thing that is, above all these, my absolute favorite. 

You. With your blue eyes that seem to see me even when I think I'm invisible. You have a smile that makes my heart completely forget its purpose but it's more than that. 

You're a pink Starburst; so sweet that you make my cheeks hurt from smiling too much. 

You're a Starbucks drink and can change to fit in anywhere, with anyone, that you want or need to. 

What's more and what I love the most - you're my lightning.

You came out of nowhere and lit up my world of darkness demanding that I see you. Tore through my walls - my defenses -  like they were nothing and sent a shock of electricity to my heart. 

One shock was all it took and I was a goner. I'm always watching and waiting in darkness for you to do it again. 

Spoiler alert, you've never failed me. 

I love you now & always

Your Lillie