chapter thirty-three.
( losing to the darkness. )

Four months ago, Yue — Cardinal now, she supposed. Though she doubted she would ever get used to Kaldur calling her the name of a stranger — never would've imagined she would be aboard an enemy ship working alongside three villains who had done nothing but terrorise her friends over the last six years. Now, she finds she has little choice but to endure their constant presence as the flyer zooms over the plains of New Mexico.

Another sacrifice made for the sake of their mission. Another decision she has no choice but to go along with because she isn't Flamebird anymore, she's Cardinal; and she can't allow her long standing hatred for the villains around her to cloud her judgement any more than she would let her love for her team give her identity away.

Icicle Junior and the Terror Twins sit at the front of the cockpit, while Cardinal stands dutifully by Kaldur'ahm's side as he pilots the aircraft toward their destination. The three villains and two undercover operatives had been assigned less than two hours ago to locate and capture Blue Beetle at the behest of the Light's new partner.

Black Manta hadn't spared all the details, in the last few days since boarding the submarine she found he rarely ever did, just that by capturing the teenage superhero both Cardinal and Kaldur would be brought into the fold.

Yue didn't know the New Mexican teenager that well, not compared to Garfield or even Cassie, the latter of which joined only a month before him. But he paid attention in training and seemed eager to be sent on the laid-back Omega Squad missions that were handed out to the new members of the team often.

Since accepting her mission, she had been left to wonder what an evil shadowy organisation wanted with the teenager. He's a good kid, one day he'll turn into a great hero, and the thought of attacking him under the Light's orders makes her sick to her stomach but it's something that must be done.

The end justifies the means. It must.

"Brother Tommy, I think we're plum crazy to throw in with this feller," Tuppence Terror comments. "I mean it wasn't two years ago Mr. Aqualad here was trying to lock us back up in Belle Reve."

Tommy Terror smirks at his sister from where he sits to her right. "Well, Sister Tuppence, folks say he had a change of heart since finding out who his pappy is."

Yue shifts her stance from one foot to the other, subtly knocking her hand against Kaldur's upper arm in a silent reassurance that he wasn't alone. Her brows pinch together and, if only because she knows she can't afford to break her cover by saying something in response to their loud whispers, she bites her tongue.

"I hear he switched sides because of some girl, which I totally get." Icicle Junior walks across the ship and stops by Tuppence's side, with one hand against the back of her seat he leans down to grin at her. "You know," he rests his free hand against her arm, "If it's the right girl."

Tuppence scoffs and slaps his hand away from her. "Step back, Junior," she warns. "You're giving me the chills."

"But in a good way," he smirks, "Right, babe?"

"Me, I'm more concerned about this Cardinal." Tommy states, his voice barely quieting into a whisper as he not-so-subtly glances in her direction. "How come the Terror Twins ain't never heard of her before?"

Unable to keep silent any longer, Yue's pointed gaze flicks in their direction. "You understand we can hear you, yes?" She questions in a deep voice so unlike her own she almost wonders if there's a secret sixth person on the ship with them.

"That we do, Missy." Tommy leans back in his seat, a mischievous grin tugging at his lips as he turns the chair around to face Aqualad and Cardinal. "These are open questions, you see."

She raises a brow. "Oh?" She smirks, though it's hidden beneath the red scarf-mask of her new costume. "Then which of you would like to ask these "open questions" to Black Manta?" She can't help but enjoy the way the three villains seem to shrink in their seats as she asks. "Maybe I contact him right now, let the three of you explain how you believe his son and his son's hand-picked right hand can't be trusted. I'm sure he would appreciate his lackeys doubting his decisions."

Silently, the Terror Twins turn back to their work, while Icicle Junior faces Tuppence once more. "Don't look so defeated," he says. "I'm here for you, babe."

Cardinal's heart sits in her throat as she listens to the laughter of the two boys in the clearing ahead of her. For a split second, it brought her back to the night in the diner. She had known then that it would all come down to this eventually. She had known then that she would have to fight her team one day to keep up the charade. She had prepared herself but what she hadn't realised back then was how hard it would be.

Jaime's part of her team, a young hero she swore to look out for when his parents agreed to let him join. This mission went against that oath she made to keep him safe. Bart she's only known for just over a month, but he is, would one day be, family and she'd have to hurt him to get to Jaime just so she could keep her cover and finish a mission they didn't even know about.

It isn't fair, but if there's one thing she knows about being a hero is that there's a price to pay for all the good they do. Hurting her team, her family, must be hers.

Jaime's in the air, his arms crossed over his armour as he observes Bart running at superspeed below him. The speedster suddenly skids to a stop, his arms outstretched at his sides as he motions down to the rocks rearranged in a portrait of himself. "Impulse, by Impulse, is that crash or what?" He laughs.

A cold wind brushes against her bare arms as Cardinal silently motions for Tuppence to move in. With an eager nod of her head, Tuppence leaps into the air, her arms wrapping around Jaime's waist as the pair crashes into the floor.

Bart's eyes widened, "Oh, man, I spent 1.6 seconds on that self-portrait. It was my masterpiece."

Cardinal, sprinting in the speedster's direction, jumps with her foot outstretched. Bart dodges to the left, avoiding the woman as she rolls across the ground; he takes off running at Tommy, only for a loud groan to fall from his lips as he ricochets off the man's chest and hits the dirt. With one knee on the ground, Cardinal points her net gun in Bart's direction and fires.

A net explodes from the weapon and pins him to the ground.

Tuppence pulls a struggling Jaime out of the dirt, wincing ever-so-slightly as his armoured elbow knocks into her chin. Tommy rushes forward to his sister's side and grabs hold of one of the boy's arms, keeping a tight grip on the blue-armoured beetle.

"Hold him steady!" Junior orders, his arm glowing as he holds it out in Jaime's direction. "Now move!" The Terror Twins leap out of the way as Junior encases the boy in ice.

Cardinal rises to her feet, wiping the dirt and dust from her black suit as she listens to Bart calling out for his friend. There's no time for guilt, she tells herself. She can feel guilty when all is said and done and she's on her way home to Palo Alto.

A strange sound fills the area and, as Cardinal spins around to throw the bolas attached to her belt in Bart's direction, he phases out of the net trapping him and disappears. With the squad distracted, Jaime shatters the ice surrounding him and fires a sonic beam at both Tuppence and Tommy.

He turns in her direction and fires the beam again; Cardinal jumps over the first attack but, as she pulls her fist back ready to strike, a large staple shoots out of Jaime's armour and pins her hand to the ground.

Her eyes scan across the plains: Tommy and Tuppence are on the ground in front of her, while Junior has been rendered half-unconscious by who she assumes was Bart. A blur speeds by them both and Cardinal watches as Bart comes to a stop at Jaime's side, his auburn hair windswept in the same way Wally's was after every mission.

"Or, since they outnumber us four to two, we could recommend tactical strategic retreat," Jaime says. His bug-like wings shrink back into his armour and his eyes narrow at the villains as Tommy and Tuppence get back on their feet.

With a huff, Cardinal pulls the staple keeping her hand down out of the ground, tosses it to the side, and stands up to face the three heroes.

"Totally, but first," Bart looks between the two of them, "How did they find us out here in the middle of– aha!" His gaze lands on something above their heads and, as Jaime turns to follow his line of sight, he takes off running once again.

Cardinal cautiously turns around, her brows pinching together as Bart confronts Kaldur on the hilltop above. She isn't sure what's said between them but within seconds, Kaldur's water-bearers form into two long swords that he slashes down at the speedster.

The Twins each take a step toward Jaime, while Cardinal steps toward Kaldur, only for Bart — with Kaldur's tracking device in hand — to reappear beside his fellow hero with a loud laugh. "They can't follow us now!" He spins around on his heel, ready to run, "Let's book!"

Jaime's wings reappear as, with a jump, he takes off into the air. Dirt and dust lifts from the floor, leaving a trail behind Bart as he runs on the ground below his teammate.

"Well, that's brilliant, Chief," Tommy snaps, "You let him get away, and with the tracking device!" His blue eyes narrow in Kaldur's direction as their squad leader joins them in the open field. "Now how do we find Beetle?"

Cardinal rests her hands on her hips, her sharp green eyes — modified by the glamour charm around her neck — meeting Kaldur's knowing look from where she stands behind the twins.

"As it happens," Kaldur pulls the second device out of his armour to show the rest of the squad.

"If you had another one of them gizmos, why didn't you just say so?" Tommy asks as he walks closer, his eyes scanning over the small device. Behind him, Junior returns to the group with one hand holding his head and Cardinal subtly takes a step away from him as the cold radiating off his body sends a shiver down her spine.

"It is not the same," their leader explains. "This one will confirm that the first device acts as a Trojan horse. Impulse will bring it into the Cave, where it will remotely hack and bypass all security. Mount Justice will be ours."

The irony of the situation isn't missed by Cardinal as she pushes the ventilation shaft above the stove open and slips out into the kitchen of Mount Justice's Secret Sanctuary. Five years ago she was using this exact same vent to escape intruders within the Cave, now she is the intruder.

She manages to take three steps through the kitchen before the sound of a whine quietly echoes through the room, followed by the sound of faint footsteps padding along the ground. With one hand reaching for the hilt of the sword hanging at her waist, she spins on her heel and prepares to strike, only to falter at the sight of two dog ears and familiar white fur.

Wolf stands in front of her, his tail wagging and his eyes softened in a way she knew was reserved for members of the team. Only she wasn't a member of the team anymore and, briefly, she wondered how he still recognised her when she could barely recognise herself.

He sniffs at the air then takes a step forward, gently nuzzling against the hand hanging limply at her side. Cardinal falters, her gaze scanning over the empty room before she lets out a soft sigh and kneels in front of the enlarged wolf. The rest of her squad were on the other side of the Cave, they'd never know.

She runs a gentle hand through the wolf's white fur, a sad smile tugging at her lips. "I'm so sorry, boy," she whispers as she wraps an inhibitor collar around his neck with a regretful look in her eyes. He lets out another whine, then walks away from her and back into the empty living room across from the kitchen.

Cardinal rises to her feet, sadly glancing over the familiar room she stands in as the secrets weigh heavily over her heart and soul. Collecting herself with a deep breath, she begins moving for the hallway, only to pause mid-step as her eyes fall onto a framed photo hanging on the wall; the picture of the original team that had been taken during Roy's induction to the Justice League five years ago hangs there like a ghost of her past.

She stares sadly at the image of herself, sixteen and unburdened by the weight of her current mission, surrounded by her closest friends. The people she considers family.

A loud crash, followed by the sound of fighting, echoes through the Cave as she tears her gaze away from the photograph. "Squad, rendezvous in the Meeting Chamber," Kaldur'ahm orders stiffly. "We have located Beetle."

"On my way," Cardinal responds with a heavy heart. The thought of hurting her family this way, it has her hand balling into a fist at her side. Five years ago, she condemned the Justice League for keeping secrets and now she has become just like them.

But the ends will justify the means, she tells herself. They have to.

With one last glance at the old photograph of the team, she takes off running out of the room. Knowing the Cave like the back of her hand, she comes sprinting around the corner and into the Meeting Chamber less than a minute later.

Superboy lays limply on the floor, and Junior is unconscious a few feet away from Bart.

The speedster grins smugly as his eyes fall onto Tuppence, who carries Beast Boy into the Meeting Chamber. "That worked so nice, I'll try it twice!" He speeds down the wall and across the room until he runs into Tuppence, bouncing directly off the larger woman and into the grip of her brother. Twisting around, Bart punches at Tommy over and over before grunting loudly, "My hands! What are you made of?"

"Snips and snails and puppy dog tails," Tommy smirks. With one hand holding Bart up by the back of his collar, he uses the other to clip an inhibitor collar around his throat.

"Ha! Nice try! But I'll just vibrate right out of this–" His smirk falls in realisation, "Oh no, no speed. I'm moded, aren't I?"

Tommy is silent as he punches the time traveller across the face so hard that the boy goes flying across the room, landing next to Beast Boy at Tuppence's feet. From the air, Blue Beetle points his sonic gun at Tommy and watches as the male twin crumples to the floor, his hands over his ears to shield from the ray.

Nightwing rolls out from underneath Superboy's unconscious form and Cardinal leaps into action. The woman sails through the air and lands a kick to the boy wonder's jaw. She lands in a crouch and spins her leg out to swipe at her brother's ankles, easily knocking him off his feet just as she had been taught by Canary all those years ago; his back hits the tiled floor with a thud and she crawls on top of him, clasping the collar around his throat.

"Sorry," Nightwing smirks up at her – and if it was anyone but her brother, maybe she would've missed the somewhat sad look in his eyes as he stares into hers, "No superpowers for your collar to turn off." His gymnastic training works in his favour as his legs fly up and his ankles cross around her throat, swiftly knocking her back onto the ground.

Her ears ring as her head slams against the floor. Heaving in a deep breath, she subtly reaches for the collar's controls that were tucked away in her belt as she watches Nightwing rise to his feet in victory. As her finger presses the trigger, she closes her eyes to block out the sight of her brother falling to his knees as the collar electrocutes him. But she can't stay down, Kaldur's right-hand can't be knocked down so easily and she can't afford to show any weakness around a squad that already shared little trust for her.

She presses her palm against the cold tiles and slowly begins to push herself up as Kaldur's stern voice echoes through the Meeting Chamber. "Stand down!" He orders as he enters the room, his eyes trained on Blue Beetle who turns to point his glowing sonic ray in Cardinal's direction. "This battle is over."

"I don't think so, traitor!" Blue Beetle hisses angrily, then points his weapon at Kaldur.

"Then rethink, Beetle." Kaldur carefully places his duffel-bag on the floor and unzips it to reveal the large bomb carried within. "This is the same type of bomb that obliterated Malina Island. I am holding down the dead man switch," he raises his hand, "If my thumb comes off this button for any reason, Mount Justice falls."

It's eerie how calm and collected Kaldur remains as he threatens to destroy their former headquarters, their former home, all for the sake of their mission. Cardinal looks away from him and over to Superboy and Nightwing, her friend and her brother barely conscious and laying ten feet away from a bomb that's prepped to change their lives forever.

Above them, Blue Beetle hesitates then slowly descends. "I'm standing down," he announces. The sonic ray retracts back into his armour, and he helplessly raises his hands over his head.

Tommy walks forward to wrap a collar around the boy's throat.

"Wise choice," Kaldur says.

Behind the group that surrounds Blue Beetle, Junior slowly stands up. "I'm fine, by the way," he groans. "You know, if anyone wanted to know."

"Good." Kaldur spares him a quick glance, then lets his gaze flick back to the others on their squad. "Escort Beetle, Impulse and Beast Boy to the flyer."

For the nth time that night alone, Cardinal's heart sinks to her stomach. This mission was only supposed to be for Blue Beetle, not the others. M'gann would never forgive them if something happened to Garfield.

"What about these two?" She finds herself asking, no longer able to bite her tongue as she fears for the safety of those she loves. She didn't know what was worse, bringing them along to meet The Light's unidentified partner or leaving them behind in a cave rigged to explode at any second.

"As hostages here, they have value," Kaldur explains. "But Nightwing is an ordinary human, and Superboy is a Kryptonian-human hybrid clone; neither category is of any interest to our partner."

Cardinal watches cautiously as the Terror Twins collect Bart and Garfield off the ground; while the speedster's limp body is carried in Tuppence's arms, Beast Boy is thrown over Tommy's shoulder rather uncarefully in a way that has her flinching ever-so-slightly where she stands behind them. Unable to watch any longer, she steps behind Jaime and gently pushes the boy forward to follow the others.

"Aqualad!" Nightwing's voice echoes through the meeting chamber. Cardinal turns around to see her brother back on his feet, his eyes narrowed into a glare pointed at Aqualad. "You'll regret this!"

Tommy steps between her and Blue Beetle, ushering the armoured hero out of the cave with his sister right behind him, as Cardinal and Junior pause at the entrance to watch Aqualad slowly walk back toward his old friend. The Atlantean reels his arm, the one not holding onto the dead-man's switch, back and hits Nightwing in the gut; the masked-hero doubles over, his hands clutching his stomach as he wheezes in pain.

"I believe I have outgrown the name Aqualad, and anything resembling regret." Kaldur turns on his heel, his back facing the members of the team left behind. "I will leave the bomb with you, as a souvenir– Oh, and the dead-man's switch has a five mile radius. Do not pursue us."

Kaldur brushes past Cardinal and Junior without another word, and the pair follows after him, guarding his back from any attempt of an attack from the heroes that slowly begin to regain consciousness as they escape the Cave.

The Terror Twins wait for them on the open beach, and Blue Beetle stands between the two of them with his hands bound in front of him.

Junior picks up his pace, a smug smirk on his lips as he pushes Jaime toward the Manta Flyer. "Move it, bug," he orders.

Jaime grunts as he stumbles a few feet forward, then mumbles, "Not much choice, is there?"

"Nope," Junior says smugly, "None at all."

Jaime takes another step forward, before his collar emits a quiet beep and the red lights go dead. "What? No, you can't!" He shouts as his armoured hands form into blunt mace-like weapons. He spins toward Junior, easily knocking the villain several feet away and then turns to Cardinal.

With wide eyes, she tries to jump back but he strikes faster than she's able to move her feet. She hits the sand of the familiar beach with a thud, forced to watch as Jaime fires a beam at Kaldur that forces her friend to jump out of the way and let go of the dead-man's switch.

"No!" Jaime freezes, waiting with a bated breath for the Secret Sanctuary to fall behind him, only to turn around and watch as nothing happens. The only sound that echoes through the air are the waves crashing against the mountainside, otherwise, Mount Justice stands perfectly in-tact. "You're right!" He grins to himself, "It was a bluff! Get him!"

Jaime lunges at Kaldur– and though Cardinal jumps to her feet and takes off running in their direction, she fails to reach them before Kaldur raises an arm and strikes Blue Beetle with enough mystical energy to send him flying back across the beach. Groaning in pain, Jaime sits up, his armour broken and his chest exposed.

Swiftly, Cardinal untucks her dart-gun from her boot and fires a tranquiliser at the boy before he has another chance to attack them.

"I was not certain that would work. But it seems Beetle is indeed vulnerable to mystic energy and sedatives." Kaldur rises to his feet, carefully brushing the sand off his armour as he watches Jaime fall to the ground. He turns to Junior, "Bring him aboard."

Junior pulls Jaime's unconscious body up off the ground and drags him up into the Manta Flyer. Cardinal spares another look at the Mountain, then follows the squad into the cockpit where the three teen heroes are tied up and deposited in the front to be watched closely.

As the Manta Flyer lifts into the air, the heroes slowly wake up one-by-one.

Cardinal stands at Kaldur's side, her hands behind her back. In front of them, Tommy tilts his head back to address the squad, "I can't believe we didn't end Superboy when we had the chance."

Junior smirks, "Boss here still has a soft spot for his old team."

Lowering her mask, Cardinal glances down at Kaldur. Briefly, she hopes Zatanna's glamour charm works and that he truly can see her for who she really is– that, when he looks back up at her, he's staring into familiar brown eyes of a girl he's known since she was fifteen and not the eyes of a stranger– because just as she looks to him for comfort, she knows he's looking to her for the same.

They've known what needed to be done since the moment they planted that bomb in the Meeting Chamber of the Cave, they've known it would lead to this since the moment they arrived. But it didn't make the decision any easier.

"Do it," Kaldur orders her sadly.

The detonator burns in her pocket and, with one hand wrapped around Kaldur's arm to keep herself steady, she lifts the detonator out with the other. She agreed to this mission so that she could bear the burden she couldn't even think of placing on the shoulders of the people she loves, and she'll do this for that same reason.

Kaldur has already done unforgivable things, she can't let him carry this too. She can't let him be lost and alone in the darkness that threatens to swallow them with every second spent undercover.

She takes a deep breath and tries not to think of the memories she had made in the Cave, or how Conner and Dick might still be inside. She tries not to think of the souvenir room that holds memories and keepsakes from years of missions, or the Grotto that immortalises her fallen friends and honours the sacrifices they made.

She tries not to think of the counselling room where Artemis first opened up to her about her past, or the kitchen where she and Wally had their first kiss, or M'gann's bedroom where the two girls spent countless halloweens getting ready together.

She can't think about it. She can't because the mission comes before all of those memories now, because the ends have to justify the means or what is she doing all of this for?-- But she knows she will later. When there's nothing around her except the four walls of Black Manta's ship and the ocean floor, when she lets herself drop the Cardinal facade and be herself again, she will force herself to relive this moment over and over again.

With a shaky hand, she presses the button and Mount Justice explodes, burning like a bright star in the distance as the Manta Flyer disappears below the waterline and sinks further into the darkened depths of the ocean.

AUTHOR'S NOTES.

✶ So, this may or may not be the last update as we return to slow updates for just a little while. I've practically finished writing act two, and have even begun writing for act three which I'm very excited to share, but I've unfortunately been seriously procrastinating on a scene in the second last chapter of this act. Until I finish that up, I want to hold off on updating any more or the wait between chapters will be even longer as you all wait for that scene to be finished and ready to post. I pray that I'll be able to finish it soon but, with the release of Dragon Age: Veilguard in a month's time, I'm not sure when "soon" will be.

✶ I've also been considering the possibility of au fics for Yue and Wally again, since I'm unfortunately insane about them. (Namely: a Justice League Animated inspired fic, a somewhat comics au, and even a college au.)