Timeskip
Jumin wasn't going to school anymore. He'd dropped out, unbeknownst to his father, and rented an apartment on the other side of town. He ignored messages from his friends, especially V. His house was littered with flower petals in every room. Blood was beginning to come up with them. Jumin spent his time writing, surprisingly. He wrote about what he'd found about his disease, his symptoms, the pain that came with the offender's touch but the relief of someone else's. He wrote about the entire story of his relationship with V, how they'd met as kids and so on.

Jumin hadn't shaved in 2 weeks, and so prickly black hair started poking through the skin of his jaw, matching the color of the bags beneath his eyes. His hands shook sometimes because of how much coffee he drank, so he soothed them with wine. Soon enough, he'd run out of the good kind and relied on cheap reserve. He was mind-numbingly bored yet incredibly busy at the same time and he hardly ever slept for more than a few hours at a time. Without the mindset to be tidy, he ditched his suits and wore only his pajamas.

He knew that Saeyoung was aware of his address because, on the chatroom, the one time he looked, V had demanded him to find Jumin. However, Saeyoung had either disregarded the command or kept the information to himself because V never showed up to check in on Jumin. Jumin appreciated that. The last thing he needed was V's presence, his concerned eyes and soft hands. He needed to write. Assistant Kang, the one person he trusted, brought him groceries. Obviously, she was worried, but it wasn't her job to be his mother, even if he did find comfort in her smile.

Of course, he felt cramped and uncomfortable. Of course, he felt his sanity slip sometimes. Of course, he had breakdowns, heaving on his hands and knees as petals flowed past his teeth until he bit back, snarling at his own body as it destroyed him from the inside out. His eyes lost their gleam, he knew, and he was losing weight fast. His hands and lips were dry and cracked. The dishes in the sink were beginning to stink. But all of it motivated him in a strange, masochistic way. He deleted important documents so his drive would have enough storage. Everything came before himself. He wondered if this was what it felt like to be selfless.

He was three weeks in when he glanced at the chatroom again. The messages that met his eyes sent a wave of shock, then pain through his spine. He ran his hands through his oily hair and bit his lip. He had to go. Enough of this. He forced himself to take a shower but gave up shaving after nicking himself with his unsteady hands. All of his clothes were dirty.

Jumin put on a loose, navy blue sweater that he'd only worn once and sweatpants. He tried to comb his hair. He called Driver Kim and slipped on his shoes. He brought a paper bag with him and vomited a sea of petals into it before stepping outside to his driver's van. He breathed deeply.
...
"Oh... Zen."

Jumin felt emotions rising in his throat that he didn't know he had. He stood in the doorway of the hospital room, hands shaking as he looked over the scene. Zen, casts around his legs, lay on the bed, shirt off with gauze wrapped heavily around his stomach. His eyes were closed, and oxygen mask enclosed his mouth.

Jumin walked over slowly, taking in all the machines and wires. Zen's hair was held back in its usual ponytail. Jumin didn't realize he was awake until Zen turned to face Jumin and his heart rate jumped in surprise. His eyes grew wide. Jumin jumped back and held his hands up in surrender. Zen reached up to take off his mask but Jumin motioned for him to leave it on. Zen leaned back, his heart rate slowing down. Jumin pulled up a chair from the other side of the room and sat down next to Zen's bed, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around... at all. There's something wrong with me." Zen's frown said that he knew. "It's not you, it's not anyone," Jumin thought of V, "it's just me." He reaches forward tentatively and put his hand on the sheet of Zen's bed, palm up and open. Zen looked between Jumin's hand and face a few times, then put his hand in Jumin's. They interlocked fingers and Jumin enclosed his other hand around the link. He brought their hands to his lips and closed his eyes. He kept talking.

"I've been in love with V for my whole life." Zen jumped, and his heart rate sped up. "I... never allowed myself to even have a slight romantic connection to anyone else, so a few weeks ago... I'm sorry if I was rude. I didn't mean to treat you that way, you didn't deserve that." Zen's eyes were glued to Jumin.

"When you get out of the hospital, I'd like to start over with you. I know I don't deserve it..." Zen's heart was beating fast. The incessant beeping tone would have been annoying if it hadn't signified his life. Jumin looked up at the monitor. The spikes of the line... he finally made eye contact with Zen.

To Jumin's surprise, his cheeks were pink. Zen was nodding, the crinkles by his eyes showing a genuine smile. Jumin tried to smile back. "I know it'll be hard, you know too. Your fame, my father's business. We'll work it out." He paused. "Just don't get into any more motorcycle accidents." Zen grinned weakly. "Seriously, how did you even manage to do this? No wait, don't answer. Get some rest. I'll be back tomorrow if you want." Zen nodded. Jumin sighed, smiled, then leaned forward and placed the lightest kiss on Zen's forehead.

In his head, he said Goodbye.

Driver Kim was waiting in the parking lot. "Where to now?" Jumin pulled his laptop into his lap and rubbed his forehead.

"Office supply, please. I have several documents to print, so I might be a while." He hesitated before adding, "I'm afraid we have a long night ahead of us, Mr. Kim."

...

Jumin heart was beating too fast as he walked down the hallway, eyes set as he counted doors. He caught his reflection in a glass window and sighed. It'll do.

Rika was the one to open the door. Jumin tried not to show his surprise. "Rika, hi-"

"Jumin!" She threw herself into his chest, hugging him tightly. He was stiff, still holding his arms to his sides. "We've been so worried! V! Jumin's here! Oh, please come in, tell us where you've been."

Jumin stayed still. He smiled tightly. "Actually, I'm sorry Rika, I just have something I need to tell  V. I'm afraid I can't stay."

V suddenly rushed around the corner, and Jumin felt his heart lurch. V looked awful. It wasn't anything in particular really, he just looked exhausted. Hey, the two of them had matching under eye circles. Vs lips were bleeding, which was alarming, but Jumin knew that it was a result of his habit of biting them when he was stressed. If Jumin had looked, he knew that V's fingernails would also be ragged, maybe his nailbeds would be bleeding. Jumin kept his face composed as V swept forward and wrapped his arms around him, shoulders shaking. Jumin clenched his teeth, the pain ricocheting down his spine and zipping through his nerve endings. His best friend's breath was stale with coffee, but his clothes still smelled the same, like watered down mojitos and cactus flowers.

"I was so worried, you idiot. Why the hell did you do that? I've been... please, don't do that again." Jumin nodded into V's shaking shoulders, then stepped back, not meeting V's eyes.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm okay. I've been spending some time alone to think about what I want to do after college, what my life is going to look like. I've decided that I don't want to work for my father, I think I want to do something more creative... I was hoping that you'd be able to teach me a few things. I may not choose photography, but I want to get a better understanding of art." Jumin paused, staring into V's gorgeous teal eyes. "I'm interested in flowers. Will you help me?"

V shook himself, obviously surprised, "Well, of course, Jumin. Whatever you need, I'm here for you. I can call you and we can work things out, just please come back to school. You don't look healthy, I'm worried about you."

Jumin waved his best friend off, swatting at the air as if the thought of V's concern was needless, "I'm fine," he said, and his voice didn't shake this time. It had when he had practiced his speech in the mirror nearly twenty times. "And yes, please call me." V nodded, then opened the door wider and stepped aside, inviting Jumin in.

"Please, I want to talk." Jumin's heart flew into the dorm room and shot onto V's bed which smelled like his cucumber deodorant and shampoo. Jumin's chest hurt as he realized that his heart would be staying here for a while, at least anywhere that V was. He felt content knowing that his heart would be at V's wedding, even if Jumin wasn't, he felt content knowing that his heart would watch over V's kids to make sure that they wouldn't run into the street after a ball, he felt content knowing that when V's heart stopped beating, his own heart would be there too, and they'd pulse their last at the same time.

Jumin shook his head and took one last look at V's beautiful face as he opened his mouth to say something, but Jumin slammed the door as the teal-haired boy called out, "Wait!" He didn't look back as he ran down the hallway, blinking back tears. When he got down to ground level, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and as he stepped out onto the pavement, he smashed it on the ground as the first sound of his ringtone, V's call, echoed through the night.

...

"Yes, hello, Ms. Kang. I'm good, and you?... I'm home. Listen, I have a few favors for you. I'll send you a check... Yes, you're right, this will count as overtime. Okay... Alright, yes, now please pay attention. First, please leave a message for Saeran that I wish him the best, and tell my father- No, Jaehee, I just need a bit more time alone. No, I can't call them myself, I lost my phone and therefore lost my contacts. No, I don't need their information myself, you will be fine telling them. Yes. Alright, now please stop interrupting. Please tell my father that... that I love him. And that I'm sorry for doing this. That is all, Assistant Kang. Thank you."

Jumin hung up the phone. He unplugged the phone cord and sighed, closing his eyes in pain. This was harder than he expected. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and thumbed through it, eventually pulling a slip of paper out from an inside flap. It was so worn at its fold lines that it looked as though it might fall apart at the slightest touch. But Jumin's fingers were soft- he'd done this many times before. Letting his wallet drop to the floor, Jumin picked up the heavy binder filed with his writing and walked to his bedroom to slip under the sheets, still wearing his coat and shoes. Laying on his back, he slowly unfolded the picture. V.

It had been taken only a few years ago to replace the other photo of V that Jumin had in his wallet that Rika wanted to have, but Jumin personally liked this one more.

(cr: sosokrobota @ tumblr)

V was smiling over his shoulder, holding his camera with a bouquet of daffodils on his lap. He looked perfect. Jumin wondered why he didn't cough daffodils- aside from cactus blooms, they were V's favorite...

Jumin placed the thick binder next to him on the bed. Something shifted in his lungs and he accepted it, relieved almost. Jumin smiled lightly as he held the photo, then pressed it to his chest. He closed his eyes and exhaled as a black rose bloomed from his lips.

...

White flakes fell on black coats. It was the first snow of the season. The stark white walls of the church stood out against the grey ski, and people's faces turned down the equally grey slush that lined the road. Saeran and Yoosung walked together, ties choking their necks as they walked up the sloping steps to the church entrance. Saeran closed the black umbrella that they had been sharing and stored it in the basket beneath the coat rack. He took Yoosung's coat and hung it up too, then took his hand and led him down the aisle.

The church's walls were high and stained-glass murals stared down at the patrons, raindrops sliding down their brightly-colored faces. Saeran shivered as he looked towards the front of the church, where the casket lay open. His stomach lurched. The black casket was surrounded by sprays of white roses and lilies and a large portrait of Jumin, the faintest hint of a smile on his pale face, was set up on an easel.

Many people were already sitting in the pews, heads bent down, hands clasped on their laps so tightly that their knuckles turned white. Saeran searched for the brilliant red head of his brother and MC and found them near the front. Leading Yoosung, he quietly slipped into the pew next to Saeyoung, whose face was strained. Saeran knew that Saeyoung felt guilty about keeping Jumin's location from V, but he couldn't say anything right now, not with such intense, immense emotions choking his throat closed. Saeran simply put his free hand on his twin's and exhaled slightly, I'm here.

The ceremony started a few minutes later.

"We are gathered here today to pay our tribute and our respect to a man of God, Jumin Han. We are gathered here today to show our love and support for Jumin's father and mother, his friends, and his fellow colleagues. Finally, we are gathered here today to seek and receive comfort.  We would be less than honest if we said that our hearts have not ached over this situation..."

He continued. Saeran was sure that it was a beautiful speech, but he couldn't listen. He could only clutch Yoosung and Seven's hands, look at MC and think about what Jumin had told him, and look at V, alone in the first pew on the left. Rika was not sitting next to him, which was a surprise. Saeran realized that she had instead chosen to sit next to Yoosung, her cousin, and watch V with an agonizing expression.

Soon, the speech was over. No one gave a eulogy, not even V or Jumin's father, who had a woman half his age clutching to his arm, smoothing down his suit and whispering to him. Saeran was disgusted. He felt a pit of remorse grow in his stomach as he realized that this was what Jumin had to deal with even before he contracted the disease. Saeran turned away and got into line with the rest of the shuffling men and women, inching closer to Jumin's casket. He wasn't ready for any of this.

...

They served Jumin's favorite red wine at the reception, but V drank pink champagne, the first alcohol they'd tasted together, stolen from V's parents when they were 14. He sipped at it slowly, passing around the room aimlessly. His heart felt empty. He did not give his regards to Chairman Han, the man did not deserve to even be here. V had known Jumin better than his own father had, and that was no one's fault but the middle-aged man who was drinking wine in the corner, smiling with his new girlfriend. It made V sick.

Meanwhile, Saeran was gathering himself. He felt that Jumin's death was connected in a major way to his disease, and he knew that he had to tell someone else or else he would burst, and who else to tell but V, Jumin's best friend? Saeran knew he could trust V, he was probably the most trust-worthy, steady person he knew...

Saeran approached V, palms sweaty, at the same time as a woman in a black dress and her brown hair cut short walked briskly towards the tall man, holding a thick binder in her hands. She held it out to V and murmured in a low voice. Saeran was close enough to hear her.

"They found this in his room... I'm not sure what it is but I think it's important."

Saeran edged forward to examine the binder as well, and his breath caught in his throat when V opened the cover and read aloud to Jaehee, "RFA: Regressive Floral Asphyxiation, a study, by Jumin Han." V paused, looking up at Jaehee. "What's that supposed to mean?"

As Jaehee shrugged, Saeran interjected. "I believe I can tell you. V... I came over to explain something about Jumin, and you might not believe me, but that binder is pure evidence that everything that I say is true. Take it from your best friend." Saeran tapped the cover of the binder. He looked and talked as if he was confident, but really, he was terrified. V's blank eyes bore holes into his skull as he tried to tell the story as best he could.

Exactly 1 minute and 26 seconds later, V dropped his glass in shock and Pink Champagne spilled across the floor.

...

thank you for reading~