Realize
Jin's POV
"Yah, Jungkook-ah. Answer me, please..." I said as I continuously dial his number while I change my shirt.
The moment I saw Jungkook's message about Jisoo going to the airport, I just lost it.
I can't let her get away from me. Not this time.
My mind is going crazy and I'm sure that my chest is about to explode any minute.
Just the mere thought of not being able to see her forever still gets me. You see, I tried that idea but all I can say is that it all backfired. To be honest, I know I had been so stupid.
If we break up now, I'll leave...away from you, away from everybody else...And I won't be coming back. I won't go back.... at least not for you, not to you...
I close my eyes as I remember in my mind what she said that night and it keeps coming back to me her whole reflection, her sad face, and crying eyes.
I broke her. I made her cry. I let her go... just because I was so stupid.
Why did I even think that breaking up with her is a good idea?
I am my happiest when we were together. Now, my heart feels empty.
I can't even smile the way I used to. I can't even throw a Dad's joke with my fans and they knew that something is wrong.
I thought getting away from her will actually be for the better.
I thought that if I let her go, our fans will stop hating her... that if I let her get away from me, she won't get hurt about everything that she'll see on the media.
I know that dating an idol like me is tough. She'll constantly get a lot of hate. Her face will always be plastered on articles. Whatever she does, some people will put the fault on it.
During that time that I saw her almost die, my soul almost left my body. She had been upset before that happened, of course, mainly because of me. I know she cried when she saw me with Ara. And then, a lot of articles came out.
She had been a lot. Everything that had happened to her was all because of my stupidity. And I can't let another disaster happen because of me.
So I fucking let her go. I let go of the person I love dearly.
I let her go even after she tried to reach out to me.
I let her go after she tried to show that she's okay even after I had hurt her.
I let her go even after she begged that I stay.
I let her go even after she gave me a lot of chances to be with her.
And now, my heart is shattered to pieces.
This whole fucking week was a disaster. I tried my best to forget her but I felt more miserable as days past by.
The boys keep sending daggers at me and Jimin kept coming to my room and asking why I did that.
Hoseok doesn't even want to see my face. V was so mad that he slammed the door on my face last night when I knocked on their room. Jungkook had never disrespected me before but I hurt her sister so what can I expect?
And earlier, Yoongi lost it when he saw the articles about me and Ara. Yoongi punched me real hard. The other boys would have probably done the same if I wasn't older.
To be honest, I probably needed it because my mind is a mess.
The article is not true. Screw dispatch.
That night, I was in a bar. I don't even know why I came to one when I don't usually drink. But I was so lonely and my mind is thinking a lot of things so I drink. At one point, I got so drunk and a random girl started kissing me in the neck.
My mind isn't thinking straight so I let her. And I was probably imagining that Jisoo was with me at that time. My mind kept thinking about her.
I don't even remember what happened but the next thing I knew, Ara was with me and was scolding me for being drunk. Apparently, Ara realized what's happening and shooed the girl away, saving me from a larger scandal.
She even helped me get home that night.
I was so out of myself, I didn't even thank her properly, I had to meet her the next day to properly thank her and apologize. I don't even know that dispatch was tailing us. I felt more apologetic that Ara was included in this mess when all she did was help me.
That night when Ara drove me home, my members saw me. Jungkook saw the hickeys I never even knew were in my neck and went ballistic. He started hitting me. Me being drunk didn't even think and punch back until the boys tried to break us apart. And of course, that's Jungkook and I saw basically all drunk, he's stronger than me so I ended up getting a lot more punches, my face got bruised.
I didn't even realize that Jisoo was trying to break us apart as well and I accidentally pushed her.
I don't know what I was thinking. Instead of helping her, I even pushed her away.
I can still remember her stained cheeks, I was sure she'd been crying herself to sleep.
And that's when I let her go. I don't know how but I took that chance to break things apart.
But what I did not only broke us apart. I ended up breaking myself, hurting her more, and losing even my members in the process.
I disregard the thought. I need to do something right now. I have to fix this.
I ran outside and saw my members all sitting on the couch in the living room. It has been days since we went back to our dorm.
Though a little afraid because of the tension with us these past few days, they're actually all I've got now.
"Guys, I'm sorry, but I really need your help right now," I said to my members, desperation eating through me.
Yoongi just raised his eyebrows at me and nobody responded.
No. I can't just give up.
"Can anybody reach Jungkook for me. He's not answering my calls." I said, my voice cracked a little, my emotions getting ahead of me.
"Are you expecting him to just talk to you after what you did to his sister?" Taehyung said, his voice a little indifferent.
"Yep. You broke her heart, pushed her away, and literally pushed her as well. Did you know that her back was bleeding that time and she was sick for a week because of you?"
My eyes went wide with what Namjoon said.
"I didn't know..." tears started to form on my eyes.
"Stop this act if you'll chicken out in the end. Let her go and move on if you're not planning to stay with her forever. Give her a break. That's the best thing you can do." Jimin added.
"And we won't let you make her cry again anyways," Hoseok said. I've never seen him this mad.
I really messed this up.
My knees gave up, I ended up kneeling on the floor. My conscience eating me alive.
"I can't. I love her. I don't think I can live without her."
"Tssssss." Taehyung snickered.
"Please, I need your help. Just this once." I pleaded, my tears already flowing.
I know I look pitiful right now but I don't care. I need to find her.
My members just looked at me and I can see their face soften a little.
"I don't think we can help you this time. Jungkook is already on his way to the airport and we don't even know what her flight info is."
I look at Jimin, a little grateful.
"But I need to see her. We need to do something." I said out of desperation.
I don't know how I can find her myself.
"Don't even think about pulling your "hyung card" after this you butthead. I can't believe we're helping you." Yoongi said as he stood up from the couch. Then, the rest followed.
I stood up as well, my knees a little shaky. I haven't been eating a lot lately.
"Manager Song will kill us after this and you, better prepare. There's only one way to find her in instant." I look at Namjoon, a little confuse.
"How?"
Namjoon and the rest of the members smiled. "Our Army"
I smiled. Of course. I can't believe I'll be asking for help from the people I thought would harm her in the end.
Why had I been so stupid? Of course, our true fans will love her.
I hope I'm not too late.
Jisoo, wait for me.
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