The following day, everything seemed back to normal. In some ways, it was like both of us were pretending that nothing had actually happened; it was probably the best option for both of us. I hoped Connor had been able to find something to properly dress the wound with, although it still frustrated me that he wouldn't tell anyone. In some ways though, I couldn't blame him. It could end up increasing his admission period further if they knew he was harming himself, and I know that was the last thing anyone wanted for themselves. At the end of the day, I was just glad to see his usual smile back on his face, whether it was forced or not. It was better than how he'd been acting for the previous week, when he'd been cold and withdrawn - I hadn't enjoyed seeing him so out of character.

At lunch, when everyone was sat around the table, Connor was loudly engaging in conversation with the other patients, much to my relief. It seemed like he was feeling a lot better, despite what had happened at around four a.m. in the morning. However, after lunch, he suddenly seemed to disappear. At first, I thought he'd maybe gone to his room to catch up on sleep, or maybe he was in the recreation room watching a movie with another patient. To my discovery, he was doing neither of those activities. I retreated to my own room and started to rack my brain as to where I'd seen him last. After a few moments of thinking, I headed to the bathroom; maybe he'd gone for a shower or something. Again, he wasn't there. Then I began to worry. As I walked around the perimeter of the ward, I tried to think as to where he could be. Then, it clicked.

The roof.

I hurriedly made my way to the door leading to the rooftop, a wave of anxiety flooding over me when I found it was slightly ajar. Whether it was Connor or not, someone was definitely on the roof. I quickly stepped inside and pulled the door to behind me before sprinting up the stairs, skipping a stair with every step I took. When I reached the top of the stairs, I scanned the entirety of the rooftop until my eyes landed on a figure in the far corner. I breathed a sigh of relief when I recognised it to be Connor.

I began to walk towards him, not moving too quickly for the fear of scaring him. When I was close enough, I stopped where I was.

"I thought I might find you up here." I said, a smirk tugging at my lips.

Connor froze momentarily before he turned around, relaxing when he realised it was me. "Yeah, sorry. I just needed some time to think about stuff."

Then there was silence. The majority of the silent period was spent with us both looking around awkwardly, avoiding eye contact when we caught the other staring.

"Listen," Connor stepped forwards. "About last night.."

"It's okay, you don't have to talk about it." I began.

"I want to." Connor insisted, and I fell quiet. "Last night, I don't know what came over me. I fell asleep thinking about stuff and then when I woke up, I couldn't feel anything. I was completely numb everywhere. It was terrifying for me and I didn't know why I felt that way. I tried the basics like pinching myself and I just couldn't feel it no matter how hard I pinched. My last resort was what I did, and I'm sorry you had to see that. Because I couldn't feel anything I didn't realise quite how deep it had gone and then I started to panic because I couldn't stop the bleeding. Obviously I couldn't go to a member of staff because they'd overreact and contact my parents to let them know they were extending my admission - I couldn't deal with that! It's been extended too many times already and I didn't want another extension, it'd be too much. You were the only person I thought of who might have actually been willing to help me, and thankyou for what you did. And like I say, I'm sorry you had to see what you did, it was selfish of me."

I shook my head. "It's okay. I'm glad you came to me. I'm just so pissed that I didn't realise how bad you were hurting when I noticed your change in character. I could've been there for you and I wasn't."

Connor shrugged. "I wouldn't have expected you to notice. I know I probably took it too far with what I did last night but I didn't know what else to do, my head was all over the place!"

I held a finger to his lips to get him to stop talking. "Really, it's okay. Just promise me you won't do it again, just come and speak to me. I don't care what time it is or what I'm doing, if you're not doing okay I'd rather you spoke to me than suffered on your own."

Connor gave me a half smile. "Thanks, Troye. I mean it."

Then there was another silence. Although, unlike other silences that we shared, this one was different - it wasn't awkward. In fact, for the majority of the time that we spent stood in silence, we simply looked into eachother's eyes. Every single time I looked into his, I was amazed by how beautiful they were. Connor, in general, really was beautiful. I wonder if he knew how beautiful he was. I bet he doubted himself, but I would never understand why. He really was incredible. I must have zoned out, because when I suddenly came back down to earth, I nearly jumped at how close Connor was suddenly stood to me. He was looking up ever so slightly into my eyes, scanning my entire complexion.

"Oh," he whispered, stepping even closer. "One more thing."

Before I could comprehend what was happening, I felt a pressure on my lips. A pressure which I very quickly registered to be Connor's lips on mine. I, Troye, was kissing Connor.