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"i guess you didn't mean what you said in that song about me..."

•••

Lisa was exhausted. She spent almost the whole day practicing for their comeback and her body wanted to give up on her. As days pass by so quickly, the management required them to practice extra hours until they are able to deliver better performances compared to their last comeback.

It's not that they didn't do good before. The management—and them too, just wanted to show their fans "more". To show them an improved version of BLACKPINK and also prove to them that through hard work, they can live up to the status of being a "Global Idol Group".

She turned to her watch—a gift from the brand she currently representing, and saw that it was already half-past eight. She couldn't help but smile because it was earlier than what she had promised Sehun.

Oh Sehun—yes, the one and only Maknae of South Korean National Boy Group EXO, has been her boyfriend for the past three years. Not many people know about them—well except maybe for their bandmates, both their management and few selected idol and non-idol friends.

Their story wasn't exactly unique as they met each other through a common friend and eventually hit it off. Jaehyun bugged her to go on a "group date" with him, Sehun and Chaeyoung. The guy who she had met through Bambam and Ten, has been eyeing her best friend ever since he had laid his eyes on in during an award show. He was just too much of a coward that he needed someone else present in order to stop him from pissing his pants or making a total fool out of himself. Or whichever comes first.

But jokes on him 'coz no matter how great of a guy he was, Chaeng didn't outright entertain him due to her best friend being traumatized from dating a co-idol. Who was the jerk who broke the Park Chaeyoung's heart? None other than the one and only Jeon fucking Jungkook.

Ever since that worldwide superstar ghosted Chaeyoung, she had never seen eye to eye with that conceited motherfucker. She even punched him in the face after having the misfortune of running into him in an after party organized by Yugyeom and Eunwoo. He had the nerve to be enjoying himself in that party while her Rosie was stuck in their apartment crying. Sucks for him 'coz she's been taking kick-boxing lessons ever since pre-debut.

It also sucks even more now 'coz her eonnie, Jisoo, is dating his co-member. Though Chaeng says she's alright, she still can't hide the feeling of being extra jumpy around the guy. Makes her want to punch him every time they cross paths.

"Well, that was quick," her manager said as he helped her carry her stuff. "Looks like you're really excited to finally get a night off."

"Of course, eonnie!" she blurted out rather enthusiastically.

She's been really looking forward for this day since forever because not only is today her only break after three whole months of working tirelessly for their album and individual schedules, but it is also her and Sehun's third year anniversary.

"It's our anniversary," she whispered cheekily. "Three years! Can you imagine that?"

Her relationship with Sehun wasn't exactly perfect. They had their fair share of ups and downs but they've overcome all those easily as they had what other couples struggle to have. Good communication. Also, they were tight friends before they both decided to take it to the next level.

"Um... Eonnie?" she clung on to her manager's arm. "Can we stop by the bakeshop in front of the apartment? I want to buy Hun-nie­ something. It's been quite a while since I've seen him and stayed at our place."

"Sure, Li," her manager replied with a smile. "My, you're such a thoughtful girlfriend. Sehun's such a lucky guy for dating the Lalisa Manoban."

She felt her cheeks burn at the compliment. She always felt shy whenever people address her a someone's girlfriend. Also, she feels a bit guilty because she wasn't really that perfect.

She has had her fair share of shortcomings but Sehun's been nothing but understanding. From her busy schedules, overseas trips and world tours, Sehun was always the supportive boyfriend to her. He also never missed a show and always sent flowers. Even if he couldn't bring it to her in person, those flowers would be there waiting for her in her dressing room. And whenever she feels down, from a simple anxiety attack or attacks from haters, he'd always be there for her—with a tub of ice cream waiting and her favorite Disney film on the television.

So, to be very honest, she's luckier. She's luckier to be loved by someone as perfect as him. Sometimes she'd wonder what did she ever do to deserve such a good man? Maybe she saved the country or something in her past life. Maybe she was like Mulan or something. But either way, she's thankful for having him.

"Here you go, Miss Lisa," the girl on the by the counter said. "I hope you like it. I added some macarons for free. I'm a Blink!"

"Oh!" She hid her growing blush with a chuckle as she took the paper bag from her. "Thank you very much! You didn't have to but I'll accept it since it's free."

"I didn't think you were a fan of this flavor," the girl added. "Do you happen to know EXO's Sehun? He's a regular here and this is his favorite! I'm also a fan of EXO!"

"R-really?" Her heart started to beat faster. This girl might not be an ordinary fan so she had to be cautious. "I'm not really familiar with the EXO sunbaenims. I'm just buying this because it looked cute."

"Oh! I didn't mean it like that," the girl immediately said apologetically. "I just remembered it so I said it. I'm sorry if I sound like a delusional shipper or something. It's not every day I come face to face with idols I really like."

She smiled and handed her a few bills as payment. There's this weird feeling inside her gut that she couldn't quite explain. But she's sure it was something bad.

"No worries. I'll be going now. Thank you again, my Blinkeu!" She said that it her most aegyo voice to hide the fact that she almost had a mini-heart attack in front of her. Also, she can't seem to brush off the uneasiness she's feeling.

As she got outside the bakeshop, she hurriedly got inside the van and let out an exasperated sigh of relief making her manager turn towards her with an eyebrow raised.

"Something wrong, Li?" her manager asked worriedly.

"I-It's nothing, eonnie," she answered immediately. But the way her manager looked at her meant that she wasn't buying it. "I swear!"

"Come on, Li. I know whenever you girls are hiding something from me." The manager's voice sounded a bit stronger. Like she was threatening her or something. "Tell me or I'll go march in that bakeshop and demand who made you a nervous wreck."

She gulped before biting her lower lip. There's really no hiding anything from her manager.

"T-The girl on the cashier," she confessed. "She said she's a Blink and mentioned that the cake I bought was Hun's favorite. But I guess it was just a coincidence. Since the place is a bit close to Hun's apartment that's why she knows—"

Her manager did not even let her finish and told the driver to drive around the block and then head straight to our group's shared apartment.

"Eonnie? Why are we going back?" she asked confusedly.

"This is just a precaution, Li," she explained. "That girl you talked to might not be who you think she is. EXO's known for having dangerous sasaengs. Best if we just let the day pass and get you to Sehun's some other time."

"Huh? But I—"

"I'm sorry, Li. We can't risk it. You guys don't have dating bans but dating can damage your reputation as well as the group's," her manager calmly explained. "Remember Jennie and Kai's?"

"But that was planned—"

"And yet it damaged her rep as well as the group's."

"It wasn't her fault—"

"I know that. But your fans, especially Sehun's fans, aren't ready for the idea of idols dating out in the open. So please, Li. Just this once, listen to me—"

She didn't let her manager finish. She unlocked the car door, ran out and hailed a cab. She's had it with all the hiding and secrecy. Yup, she got scared when the girl mentioned Sehun a while ago but it might just be a coincidence. But if it wasn't, so what? Their reputation will recover. And lying to her Blinks about her relationship was already stressful. She wanted to be honest to them. If they leave her or boycott the group, then they're not true fans at all.

Her phone kept buzzing but she just ignored it.

She expertly tied her hair and hid it under her bucket hat she reversed. She also took her jacket off and reversed it so that no one would recognize her and then put her mask on.

As the cab stopped in front of the apartment complex, she checked herself on the cab's front mirror before carefully going out and sprinting towards the main entrance.

The building was high-tech and the security was very tight. The security guard almost made her stop but recognized her when she showed him her card. A card only residents of the said building have.

Relief suddenly washed her as she got on to the elevator. If someone ever did photograph her, she can just say that she's actually staying in the complex since she did already buy her own place here. She had always thought of buying a place of her own where her parents can stay whenever they come visit and coincidentally, a unit was put up on sale which she immediately grabbed. She didn't really care whether they link it to Sehun or other idols since the complex was really known to be a place for idols and actors. Even Jiyong oppa owns a penthouse here.

But whatever. As long as they have no clue about their relationship, it's fine. Though if it so happens that they get caught, she wouldn't really mind it. She loves him so much that no amount of hate from his delusional fans. Or K-netizens. As long as she has him, her family, her members and friends, she'll be okay. Because they are more than enough for her. Also, her loyal fans. Her fans who'll love and support her happiness through and through.

Now she's just too excited to see him. After all the stress of comeback and rehearsals, she can't wait to cuddle with him and watch some movies—

"Sehun—"

The picture she had painted inside her mind was shredded into pieces as the man she was so hopelessly in love with was on the couch enjoying someone else's company. 

•••

"...'coz you said forever now I drive alone past your street."

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05 - 02 - 2021