Warning: I do talk briefly about suicide in this chapter. When I say brief, I mean one sentence. Just a warning!

January 9th (continued)
     So whether the person reading this is Mom or Dad or Dylan or whoever was smart enough to look for this book, prepare yourself for quite the unraveling of my perfect little life.

Dylan sets the book down on his lap. He is in shock.

Emily didn't write this dairy for herself. This wasn't a diary for her to write down her thoughts and let off a little steam.

This was written for an audience. Emily wanted her story to be heard. She wanted people to know what happened to her.

She didn't hold back anything either. She wrote everything that happened to her. She knew she would be dead soon and she wanted to make sure people knew exactly what happened to her.

She wanted every single word to be read. 

     You've heard about Anne Frank writing about her day to day struggle of her life in the attic, avoiding the Nazis and their death camps. I am in no means comparing myself to that poor little girl. I am however, comparing the stories. This is a story of my life and how it fell apart and led to my death. So sit back, read, and prepare yourself to enter the Hell-show that was my life.

Dylan is having what someone would call an internal crisis right now. He is realizing that there is so much he doesn't know about Emily. He thought he knew everything about her from her darkest secrets to her night time routine before she went to bed.

But just with this one entry, he already feels like his best friend of twelve years is like a complete and total stranger to him.

Dylan can't help but cry. All of this new information is heart breaking to him.

He doesn't even know any big secrets she was hiding yet but he knows she was struggling. He is mad at himself for not trying to help her more.

He thinks he might have been able to save her life if he tried even a little bit harder.

But that simply is not true.

     The way this is written makes me sound like I was suicidal or something. I'm not. I didn't kill myself and if you are reading this, you already know that.

     I did however think about running away. I thought about it a lot. I even packed my bags and got ready to leave one night. But things just didn't work out. They never do.

     Life just wasn't how I wanted it to be. I didn't have the guy I so desperately wanted. I didn't have the family I wanted. My grades were dropping rapidly and I had absolutely no shot at getting into college. But most of all, I wasn't even welcome in my own home.

Dylan doesn't know what she means by her saying that she wasn't welcome in her own home. He thought her family loved her a lot.

     Mom got remarried a few months ago. I didn't think she would move on so quickly from my dad. Alex is away at boarding school. She didn't even come to the wedding. I though my own twin would come back to save me from the torture of walking our mother down the aisle. But she didn't even make an attempt. She wants nothing to do with us anymore.

I didn't like the idea of my mom getting remarried. But I liked the guy at first. He seemed like he was a decent fit for my mom. He made her happy so who was I to judge? But after about two weeks, our seemingly okay relationship completely changed.

     From the very first time he hit me, I knew this would be a regular things. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

AN: do you like the way this story is written or is it too confusing?

PLEASE ANSWER!