I have no particular skill or philosophy when it comes to combat, so I suppose I can't honestly call myself a warrior, but I'm a fighter and proud of it. Does it get me into trouble? Yes. Yes it does.

A few years ago I was out shopping with two of the kids I nanny for. We were at the mall to buy them clothes for school, but I made a personal stop. I won't say where because I don't want corporate lawyers breathing down my neck, but I ran into a problem during checkout.

There was a dude behind the register at a women's clothing store, and I want to say that was suspicious but those are just my biases talking, or perhaps it's simply hindsight. It didn't put me on my guard or anything like that. He rang everything up and I took out my credit card to pay.

The guy starts hitting on me, and it wasn't subtle. I'm standing there with two kids who, as far as he could tell, might have been my own children, and he's coming on strong with innuendo so blunt that I'm sure the 6yo picked up on it. I told him to stop because those kids didn't need to hear it, but if anything he amped it up. He put his hands on the counter and leaned forward, probably thinking it made him look more confident and cool. All it really did was give me an opportunity.

There was a lot of shouting, crying children, and mall cops before the actual police showed up. I had to call the kids' parents to come get them. That was the worst of that whole situation, seeing the disappointment in their faces, even though they were obviously concerned for me (they're the best people in the world). I spent that night in jail while everything was being sorted out.

I have a kubotan on my keychain, right next to a small folding knife, both of which I keep for self defense. I'm small. I don't take chances. If you don't know what a kubotan is, picture a piece of rebar maybe 4-5 inches long and flat on both ends. When the guy leaned over the counter, clearly not getting my hints to knock it the hell off, I brought the end of the kubotan down on the back of his knuckle and broke it. His hand, I mean. There was also some property damage when I threw a POS display at him, but he tried to retaliate and like I said, I don't take chances.

The drama that followed wasn't as intense as it could have been. I never actually had to spend time in a cell, just a detainment room until they decided what to do with me, and one of the cops kept me company for a couple hours. He even seemed sympathetic. I used my one call to apologize to the family, but after they got my whole story they took my side (did I mention they were great?). As it turned out, when the kid closed the distance between us after I told him to back off it counted as assault, at least enough that my actions were considered self defense.

I don't generally believe in expanding the definition of assault to include everything that's uncomfortable, but it got me out of jail with a slap on the wrist. No charges were filed because apparently the guy was told he'd face a countersuit if he brought it to court, and the store cameras didn't paint a flattering picture. I was eventually told he got fired.

I know I overreacted. He pissed me off and I lashed out. In my defense it was at least partly for the kids... if they weren't there I might have acted differently. I'm hyper-protective of these brats, and in my mind, any threatening behavior within 10 square miles justifies retaliation.

I'm not some hellion wildcat who doesn't know how to control herself in public. I carry that kubotan, a knife, a pistol, and a taser when I'm out on my own, and I'm not sorry for any of it. I also don't consider myself paranoid. I treat everyone with respect until I'm given a reason not to, but predators are out there, even though the vast majority of men (and women) are perfectly safe to hang with. I'm one of the safe ones until you mess with me or the people I love.

I guess the takeaway is that I have issues and I'm working through them. On one hand, they often lead to great stories and make me seem more interesting than I really am. On the other, "interesting" isn't always a net positive. Fortunately, I don't have many tales of brutally maiming shopkeepers in my repertoire.