I haven't written anything on WP in several months, and haven't written anything at all in the last couple. I've been dealing with things I'd rather not have to, but those are the cards I've been dealt, and the alternative to playing my hand is cashing in my chips. I've known for a while that I'm not that sort of person.

In short, I was laid off and haven't been able to find new work. I've already traded my car for a camper van that's almost as old as I am, and I'll be out of a home before fall if I can't find a new job soon. That'll mean giving up my pets, my friends, and my "family" at least temporarily, completely displaced for the fourth time in my short life.

I've been trying to remain positive, after all, I've survived--even thrived--in worse, but I thought I was past that life, that I'd finally moved on to something more stable. Maybe even permanent.

The one thing I can actually hold on to is the perspective it's given me, a life most people never have to, or get to, experience. I recently read that people who don't choose real adventures for themselves will invariably choose false ones, creating enemies and picking fights where the conflict doesn't and shouldn't exist. My adventures haven't been optional, but it's true that I feel no compulsion to invent new drama. Living out the story is sometimes brutal but it's better than having no story, needing to invent one in your head and tilt at windmills just to convince yourself that there's some substance, some meaning to your existence.

Between you and me there are days when I could use a little less substance, but I'm honestly grateful for the person I am and who I'm becoming, even if the trials are sometimes hard to bear.