Chapter twenty-two: A promise for eternity

tw: description of a panic attack, mentions of nightmares, death, mental health struggles. proceed with utmost caution, and i sincerely request you to to skip the part in italics if these things might trigger you even slightly. take care, sending you love and strength❤️

A seventeen year old Shubman stood in front of Sara's house, waiting for someone to open the door after he rang the doorbell. He was just returning from his cricket class, but his parents had gone out so he had to spend some time at Sara's.

"Yaar, yeh darwaza kyun nahi khol rahi?" (Why is she not opening the door?) he mumbled, sighing. It had been a tiring day for him. Plus, his coach had shouted at him because of his stupid mistake. The day could not get worse for him. Or so he thought. Irritatedly, he rang the bell again, thrice this time. After a minute, the door opened, revealing a frail Sara.

She stood awkwardly, her posture horrible, looking shorter than her actual height. Her hands were shaking, and her face was red. Her hair was messed up and she was sniffing. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she had been crying.

"Sara! What happened?" Shubman panicked, stepping in.

"Nothing, I...tired. I'm tired, " she mumbled. He quickly kept his kit on the sofa and turned to face her.

"Don't lie, what happened?" he asked, concern etched on his features.

"I'm just on my period, " she lied. Shubman inched closer, holding her by her shoulders.

"I feel something else is going on, but you're too exhausted for this. Go rest, we'll talk later, " he said softly and Sara just nodded, having no energy to speak.

"Do you need anything? A hot water bag, a chocolate? Anything? I'll get it for you, " he asked and Sara nodded negatively.

"Just...just be here, " she said in a low voice as they reached her room. "Please, " her voice cracked, a sob leaving her lips. Shubman just stood there, as Sara laid back on her bed, hugging her knees. He put the blanket on her properly, unable to let his eyes even wander on her.

He just couldn't see her like this. So...vulnerable and broken.

'What must have happened? Why is she crying? Is it just her periods or something else? I have never really seen her like this when she's on her periods though,'

He turned around to walk, but Sara held onto his hand. He looked back at her, and she had a slightly confused face.

"Sara?" He asked.

"Don't...go....please," she somehow managed to speak.

"No no, of course not. I'm not going anywhere," he reassured her immediately. "I'll just freshen up a bit, and come back. Give me two minutes," he tried to smile at her, as if everything was okay. Sara just nodded.

He returned and sat on the bed, just beside her. Sara fell asleep in five minutes, holding onto his hand. She kept on stirring in her sleep, worrying Shubman. He was just going through their history textbook which was kept on her table, but couldn't focus on it. Not when Sara was right beside him, struggling. He had never seen her like this.

Thirty minutes passed. Shubman kept on re-reading the same page of the history textbook, as his thoughts kept on distracting him. Sara's firm hold on his hand didn't help, either. Something about the way she was clinging onto it screamed 'HELP' and that distressed him. Sara suddenly woke up with a jerk, startling Shubman.

"Kya hua?" (What happened?) he asked, horrified at the scene. She was panting for her breath, her other hand on her chest. The world seemed to spin and she couldn't even clearly see the boy beside her. Only his concerned voice rang in her ears, but her vision was blurry.

"Sara, shant hoja," (Sara, calm down) he said, using his free hand to rub her back. "It's okay, it's okay. Shant hoja," he whispered soothingly. His action lent her some comfort, and she began to recover from the nightmare she just saw.

"Paani chahiye?" (Do you want water?) he asked, and she nodded, unwillingly letting go of him. As Shubman disappeared out of her sight, she started feeling claustrophobic. It felt like the walls wanted to strangle her to death. The temporary comfort she felt was gone as she was alone, again. Like the lonely monster she was supposed to be.

"Alone, you're always going to be alone. Being lonely is what you deserve!"

"How could anyone love a horrible monster like you?"

"I HATE YOU!"

"Nahi!" (No!) Sara shouted, bursting into a set of fresh tears as the words came back to her. Shubman ran back into the room, listening to her cries.

"Sara, Sara! It's okay, it's okay! Drink this, drink this, it's okay," he said, helping her drink water while stroking her hair gently.

"I'm not...I'm not a monster, Shub...I really, I didn't..." she murmured, begging him to believe, "You have to...you have to trust me," she gasped.

'Please trust me, Shub. I'm not a monster,' she thought to herself.

"Monster? You're the most amazing person in this world, Sara." He said, hugging her. Sara didn't respond, her hands still shaking. Her tears didn't stop but reduced, as she slowly felt a sense of comfort.

"Really?" She asked after almost five minutes, slightly relaxing in his warm embrace.

"I promise," he said. A soft sigh left Sara's lips as her breathing became normal, her heart still beating rapidly.

"I don't want to be alone, ever," she said, her voice still shaky.

"As long as I'm in this planet Sara, you will never be alone. Never, I promise," he said.

And Shubman Gill was a man of his word. That was a promise he intended to keep till eternity.

🦚

Shubman was enjoying a day of relaxation. So far, the nice day of unwinding after all the exhaustion which had caught up with him after the match had been good- great even. He had spent the entire day practically doing nothing, and oh- he loved the feeling! He was watching Tarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmah when his phone rung. A smile appeared on his face as he looked at the caller id.

"Hey baby," he cheerfully said. "Done with the event?" He asked before Sara could even reply.

"H..hey," he heard a shaky voice on the other hand and immediately tensed.

"Sara? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, uh...I was just wondering, you know- do you want to come over tonight?" She asked and he couldn't possibly miss the nervousness and hesitation in her voice.

"You know, I mean I was just thinking- before you resume your hectic schedule, we could just have a fun sleepover- watch movies and everything!" This time Sara's voice sounded cheery and he simply hummed. You're a great actress, Sara. But you know you can't lie to me.

"I'll be there in an hour," he said firmly, hanging up. He got up, feeling a strange pit of nervousness in his stomach. He quickly changed his clothes, and filled his bag with a spare pair of clothes, and chocolates- all the chocolates in his house and got into his car, wanting to see Sara as soon as possible.

In almost forty-five minutes, he reached the apartment. The drive to her house was hazy in his mind, the only thing he could recall was Arijit Singh's voice in a low volume, and nothing else. His mind was in a frenzy, his heart racing. Even the minute-long wait at her doorstep felt like an excruciating eternity. His leg was shaking, hands hidden in his pockets.

When Sara opened the door, Shubman released the breath he had been holding in, wasting no time to engulf her in a bone-crushing hug. Sara sighed softly, feeling an unimaginable comfort in his embrace.

"You're here, " she whispered, just to make sure.

"I'm here, " he pressed a kiss on the top of her forehead. "I'm always going to be here," he said. Sara looked up at him, and his heart broke when he looked at her. The spark in her eyes was absent, and her smile looked forced.

"What happened?" He asked gently, his voice laced with concern.

"I'm just...really tired," she said and he sighed, nodding.

"Let's get in, which movie do you want to watch first?" He asked her, breaking the hug and holding her hand.

"I don't know, anything's fine," she said as she closed the door.

"Anything? Even Conjuring?" He asked, trying to lighten up the mood and Sara shrugged, leaning on his arm, too exhausted to even stand properly.

"Chalega" (I'm okay with it) she said.

"He bhagwan, where's this change come from?" He asked as they sat on the sofa.

"I'll watch it if you like it," she softly said.

"Well, I don't want to watch a horror movie with my gorgeous girlfriend. Let's watch something else, something more romantic, hmm?" He smiled at her and she just nodded.

"Okay, just...just stay here," she said, and despite her tired and low voice, he couldn't miss the vulnerability of her words. He nodded, squeezing her hand.

"Always," he whispered, placing a feathery kiss on back of her palm.

A/N: What do we think of this chapter? Do y'all have any questions after reading this one? Feel free to ask if you do! Your inputs would mean a lot to me!
P.S.: sending love and strength to everyone who is struggling with various problems. You're really strong, don't forget!❤️