okay well this is part 97, and I'm going to like talk about Jacob.

the blight and the light in my life.

and then announce something at the bottom.

So me and Jacob have been talking here and there, like simple things.

we got in a big ass fight because of the guy I'm w right now, because apparently they've been friends since 4th grade and he's jealous.

but I seriously genuinely didn't fucking know, but having sex w his friend had a pleasant side effect even though I did not intend for there to be one at all.

but it's okay.

but this kid is really attractive like nice lips, fucking body is like so muscular, and his eyes are pretty. Which is very important.

but I don't feel anything for him, I still feel for Jacob and wtf it's so difficult omg ugh.

ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh

I wanna throw myself down the stairs.

also he fucked some girl before we broke up so I mean I should hate him but I hate love him.

i miss him.

and he said he was lonely and missed havingg me there

even if I'm just his friend.

and I wanna fucking cry.

I'm just all fucked up about it.

oh yeah and I hooked up w this kid I grew up w which was totally weird. We only kissed but I was like "oh oh my fucking god no what just"

but it was so like not awkward I felt awkward.

like we acted 30000% normal immediately after. like I was confused as hell

I didn't imagine it I don't know what the hell.