Stop crying, tell me something
Try saying to me, who had no courage
Why did you do that to me then
I'm sorry

[...]

I'm sorry my brother
Even if (I try to) hide it, or conceal it, it can't be erased
Are you calling me a sinner
What more do I have to say

🎹🎹🎹🎹

I suddenly stood up to quickly walk up the stairs while almost stumbling. I walked through the hallway with heavy steps and went straight to his room. He was on his bed, laying on his belly, his head deep into a pillow. His shoulders were shaking, he was silently crying and I was wondering how many times he had been like this since he came here. I went to him and kneeled were his shoulders were. I positioned my hand on his muscular back. I felt him through the cloth of his tank top and he twitched. I waited for him to talk first.

"Go away Yoon Gi."

"No, I get to decide, I am your hyung."

"I thought you weren't! When will you make up your mind?"

He yelled through his pillow. He was really irritated. Mad and sad. I spoke calmly and with a serene voice.

"Jimin, I am sorry."

He looked up and stared at me, his eyes were like the sun. Him, who had such elongated eyes, I would have never thought to see them so round one day.

"What did you say?"

"That I was sorry."

He covered his mouth with one hand and slapped himself with the other. He then pinch his arm with the hand that was previously covering his mouth. I understood what he was doing and took his hand before he could bite it.

"You're not dreaming, okay?"

"It's the first time that you apologize, Yoon Gi. Of course I would question myself."

I let out a tiny smile, he was back. The real Jimin was back, and I was wondering if he even noticed.

"Oh my god! You smiled!"

I quickly shed any emotions I was showing and stared at him. He was pointing to my lips.

"Are you real?"

"If I call you stupid, will you believe me?"

"Oh yeah, that's it. You are Hyung."

I look at him in the eyes. I didn't know why I had this weird feeling in my abdomen. Some kind of butterflies were floating in my stomach.

"Do you forgive me? Can we start over?"

" Let's start from the very beginning."

I nodded and he intertwined our fingers while giving me a smile. This feeling came back. It seemed like the one I felt in 9th grade, when he kissed me. Now I was in 12th grade and I always had this feeling when I was with him. He let go of my hand and pointed his hand toward me.

"Introduce yourself as if it was our first meeting Hyung."

"Hmm... okay."

I was willing to do anything to avoid ruining this moment. I had to put water in his cup of wine. I had to make him forget the old Yoon Gi. After leaving with this little monster for 8 years, I finally accepted my role of big brother. I shook his hand, it was warm. Why was his hand so warm? Anger? I was always cold. Another proof that we were opposites.

"My name is Yoon Gi. I'm 18 years old... I am in 12th grade."

He timidly smiled to me.

"I am Jimin, I am 16 years old and I love you."

My eyes became as round as his did a little bit ago. He showed me his widest smile. Suddenly his look went from cute to seductive and he bit his lower lip while turning his head toward me. He tilted his head slightly to make our lips meet. His so plump, and mine slightly fleshy. It wasn't our first kiss but it was like it. I didn't move while he stepped back to where he was before. I stood up and exited the room.