Maybe we're all just a bunch of fools
Everyone lives with a love that has come to an end
It's not that I still have feelings for you
I know we can't work out
But why does it feel like I'm having indigestion?
As if my insides will explode,
cries come up my throat,
making me throw up
In my imagination, I fight with you,
make up with you and understand you
Your hand gestures, your eyes,
they are faded but not gone
Why won't it go away?

🎹🎹🎹🎹

He ended up acting as if nothing happened and we went back to our boring routine. I finally became junior in high school while he was entering 9th grade. To never see him even at school was a blessing. We didn't see each other anymore. At all. I didn't hear his footsteps anymore when he came out of his room. Actually, I think he only came out of his room to go to middle school, every other day. Sometimes I would hear him around run up and down the stairs around 2 a.m. Most of the time it was probably to get a new water bottle since I always noticed one disappearing of the counter when I came down to eat dinner at around midnight. And then, he ended up not coming out at all. It was the total emptiness, the intense silence reign over the house. It was as if I had become deaf overnight. I came out more than he did. The water bottles didn't disappear anymore and there was more food in the cupboards. Worried, I ended up heading toward his room where I knocked before entering. He was at his desk with earbuds in his ears. Once again, he had grown beautifully. He had become even more handsome. Unconsciously, my eyes met his lips. I went back to thinking about our kiss and tried immediately to chase those thoughts from my head. I then stared at his body. He had gotten skinnier, paler, he looked like me when I was his age. A zombie like person who only cared about his grades and who was forgetting to fulfill his vital needs. He felt my presence and turned around a bit surprised. He took off his ear buds.

"What are you doing here?"

"You should eat."

"I am not hungry."

"It's been two days since you last ate, and your water bottle is almost empty. Get your ass down here et cook something for yourself."

"No, let me study."

I sighed and left after slamming the door. I headed toward the kitchen. War had been declared. I took a pack of ramen noodles and boiled some water. Later, I went back into his room and put the bowl of noodles in front of him on his desk with chopsticks. He raised his head toward me while I was observing his notebooks. Those textbooks, I had the same ones in 9th grade. I smiled and turned toward him. Our eyes met. I kept staring at him. Were we doing the eye game? He should've warned me first, I would've quickly moisten my eyes before looking at him. Suddenly, he stood up to reach me, I straighten myself. He was now as tall as my nose. He put his hands on my shoulders and stood on his tiptoes to place a quick peck on my cheek. He smirked and sat back down while holding his bowl. My heart was racing. I tried to calm down by reminding myself that he was my brother, and that I wasn't allowed to react this way.

"I won't be bringing you food everyday Jimin, so even if you have to eat ramen everyday, I don't care, just eat, okay?"

"Okay, Hyung~" Jimin answered with his sweet voice.

"I-am-not-your-"

" "Brother" yes I know."

He blew a couple times on the noodles he was holdings with his chopsticks while I was exiting the room with a sigh once again. I went back to my room and stop on my way there to go back to his room. I suddenly entered and interrupted Jimin during his meal. He turned toward me with a mouth full of noodles.

"Mmh?" he said while trying to swallow his noodles.

"Which high school are you competing for?"

"Dissh one!" he answered with a mouth still full of noodles while handing me a flyer. I immediately recognized the building.

"Mine?"

He quickly nodded.