To the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody"

Is this the real world?
Is it just the pensive?
Caught in stupify
No escape from reality

Open your eyes
Watch everybody die, and see
He's just a poor boy, he needs no sympathy
Because it's easy come, easy go, little high, little low
Anyway the spells are cast
Doesn't really matter to me

Voldemort just killed a man
Put a wand against his head
Said,"Avada Kedavera," and now he's dead
Mama, my life has just begun
And now the feels have thrown it all away

I see a dark mark in the sky
Lumeos, Lumeos, can you produce a Patronus
Battle of Hogwarts very, very frightening me
(Crucio) Crucio
(Crucio) Crucio
(Crucio) Imperio
Expecting Patronum.

To the tune of "Royals" (Note: Gollum makes a noise that earned him his name. It's sort of like a cat coughing up a hairball)

We hasn't seen our precious in the flesh
Baggins cheated at the riddle game and takes it
And we aren't proud of our cave
Underground we catch fishes

And everyday is like
Precious, master, stupid fat hobbitses, we bites off finger, falls into lava
We *gollum* don't care, we wants the precious

To the tune of "Crazy Train"

All aboard hahaha

Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of characters living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to stay strong when they all die

Mental wounds not healing
Driving me insane
Going off the rails on the fandom train

I've listened to shrinks
I've listened to friends
I've seen all the people who watch the movie before reading the book
One author conditioned to give you the feels
The publisher sells it and you live the role

Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
Going off the rails on the fandom train

To the tune of,"This Girl is on Fire
This girl is on fire
This girl is on fire
She's walking on fire
This girl is on fire

Looks like a girl, but she's a Mockingjay
So bright she can burn your eyes
Better look the other way
You can try but you'll never forget her name
She's leading a rebellion
Toughest of the toughest the soldiers say.

Ohhh, oh, oh, oh
We got our feet on the ground
And we're burning the Capitol down
Ohhh, oh, oh, oh
They've got their mines in the ground But we're not going down

This girl is on fire