*appears in Gollum's cave*
Me: G-G-Gollum?
Gollum: What is that precious? Too big to be hobbitses. Not filthy orcses or goblins. Must be man or elveses...
Me: Um, I have a message-
Gollum: Should we eats it, precious?Tender, juicy... fffrrresh
Me: O_O
Gollum: *Comes closer*
Me: STOP!! I know where the precious is!
Gollum: Does it know where the precious is? Is it lying? Is it trixy? Is it false?
Me: No, I'm telling the truth!
Gollum: Where is it, precious? Does it know? Tell us! Tell us!
Me: Let me read the message:
Guess what I have, your precious.
- house_cabin_district
Gollum: They has it! We will takes it from them.
Me: Gollum?
Gollum: They stoles it! THIEVES!! THIEVES!! MY PRECIOUS!! *gollum* *gollum*
Me: *backs away slowly*
Gollum: We must have the precious!  You takes us to it.
Me: But-
Gollum:*drags me away*