The distance between the town we left and the next inhabited one was several days' journey. Since we hadn't had time to resupply, this was inconvenient and darkened our moods. We couldn't go back the other way. The towns were huddled close together and I had left a string of successful sales in my wake. Backtracking would be the same as politely requesting to be imprisoned for impersonating a sorcerer's Assistant the second a town guard saw us.

And that wasn't even the worst case scenario. At least huddled safely in a prison I wouldn't fall victim to a mob's characteristically brutal vigilante justice. I wouldn't be strung up. I would avoid the indignity of execution by someone who hardly knew how to handle an axe and would need a few thwacks to kill me. That's what my customers had threatened in the past, and I didn't care to test them.

In contrast, the official Centralized Magical Arcanacracy's penalty for impersonating a sorcerer's Assistant was two weeks in a dungeon, a hefty fine and a minor curse for a month. I knew this. I'd been caught several times. The curses had always been annoying but tolerable. I'd go with the ruling sorcerers' justice over that of my own ungifted people any day.

So there was no way to make it to a comfortable town before sunset. This hopelessness slowed our pace. I had been up all day. So had Mallow. Time stretched out; minutes became miserable molasses strands spent trudging past unremarkable trees. The constant drum of raindrops against leaves lulled me into a sleepy mood. I yearned to lie down and rest. I couldn't. Wasting daylight was foolish, especially when this far out from town.

The bleary orange sun broke through the clouds as it was setting. The rain relented. Mallow began to celebrate. I pointed out that the sun was setting. The moon would do nothing to dry the soaked clothes she wore. Mallow cursed.

We searched for a good place to park the carriage and sleep for the night. After about half an hour, the sky was a swirl of purple, red, and orange. The faint glow of Mallow's skin made the rest of the evening world dimmer. Thankfully, unlike humans, Moon Giants see well in the dark. She alone spied a set of thick, tall, and spaced apart trees that would do for our camp.

By the time we had unhitched the horses and moved the carriage behind the tree line, the moon was heavy overhead. Mosquitoes, encouraged by the humidity of the post-rain night, were swarming. They avoided Mallow for the most part, her liquid silver-like blood repellent to them. They adored me. My long sleeves meant they favored my face. I was an acne-scarred youth for all the red spots and splotches on my cheeks. As I sat slapping away the insects, I tried to start a nice, smoky fire to repel them. The wood in the area was all soggy from the rain.

I fetched my small supply of dry firewood from the carriage. I kept a few logs and sticks for situations like this even though space was limited in the carriage. Using the precious timber, I managed to ignite a fragile flame. I laid the rain soaked logs around it to dry. I hoped they'd be ready for Mallow to feed into the fire later tonight if she got cold. The smoke would help with the bugs. Mallow ran over, laughing and trying to catch her breath.

"Gourd is so funny. You should have seen her spot this squirrel. It was trying to dig something out of the ground, some seeds I think, and Gourd was like, hey, that's mine buddy— Whoa, Dad, you let them bite you all over today."

I self-consciously touched my face, thankful I didn't have a performance tomorrow.

"I didn't so much let them as I ran out of peppermint oil and the fire's not smoking enough to drive back the bugs." I explained. That old cripple was getting his revenge, one inconvenience at a time. "I think I'll sleep in the carriage, the blankets still have the usual pest repellents scattered in them, so it'll prevent me from getting more eaten up then I am right now."

"You better, otherwise there won't be anything left by morning. " Mallow laughed at me. I climbed into the carriage using the small ladder. Inside, it was darker than outside, the moonlight held back like the rain had been by the rounded roof.

I found the cloth we used as tenting for Mallow. I leaned out the curtain that made up the doorway behind the driver's bench as I passed the tent cloth out to her. She detached the poles from the side of the carriage that we used to set up her tent, tall enough so that she could sit comfortably underneath them.

I watched Mallow struggle for a few moments, the billowing scent of the disturbed herbs between my blankets warding off the insects. She got all four poles in the ground, using her strength to stab the water-soaked dirt. Although it had been an advantage at first that the ground was soft, the weight of the poles proved too much for it now. One pole slid as she hung the first part of the cloth on it. She grabbed at it, throwing the other corner of the cloth over a second pole to keep it from dipping into the dirt. This pole, now brought into the fray by contact with the cloth, began a slow drift toward the outside. Mallow swung around and grabbed that one as well, her arms awkwardly stretched out. Stuck. She couldn't fix either without abandoning one of them. Amused, I watched her standing in silent thought in the mud. A movement caught my gaze, a third pole falling forward, right for the back of her head.

"Mallow——"

"Not now Dad, I'm bu— Ow!" The pole cut her off as it fell against the back of her head with a resounding thud. Mallow dropped the two poles she was holding. She confronted the pole that had thunked her. She caught the pole around waist level, snatching it out of the ground. I ducked into the carriage as the poles quick swipe through the air splattered mud everywhere. "Augh!"

There was a snapping sound. I peeked my head out from behind the curtain again and saw the offending pole broken in two in her hands. She snapped it again and again, until the pieces were only about three inches long. She tossed them into the woods with an agitated shout. The other three poles were whole but sinking into the mud. As if that would save them from Mallow's anger.

"No tent." She barked as she gave up and tied the cloth between several trees. This might have worked, except for where rain had already puddled on the ground. "Dad, give me a blanket."

"But Mallow, you're going to ruin it——"

"Dad!" she shouted.

Reluctantly, I found the mangiest blanket we had in the carriage. It was still pretty nice. I tried not to keep inexpensive things so they wouldn't contradict my back story. I handed it out to her. She folded the blanket three times. I winced as she threw it onto the ground, the bottom layer sucking up the moisture from the surrounding mud.

Then she laid down on it, at which point the mud crept into the middle layer. She raked her fingers through her tangled hair and shook off the strands that got caught. She threw her arms out on either side of her with a massive false grin.

"Ta-daaaa!" she declared. "Perfect solution."

"Giant engineering at its best." I remarked, clapping from my spot inside of the carriage. She stuck out her bottom lip, pouting.

"More like Azark engineering. I wasn't taught by any Giants," she said. "Dad, could you pass me some fresh clothes? I don't want to sleep in these old ones. They are sort of ...rashy"

I ducked back into the carriage. When I emerged again it was with a roll of bandages, a fresh vest and a cloth for the wrap she wore along her bottom. Then I went back into the carriage like a gentlemen so she could change.

"Is that enough material?" I asked, a second delayed.

"Should be," she replied. Her mouth sounded full. I laughed to myself; she must be ripping the bandage off at the right length. Her sharp teeth made it easy, she had many more canine-like fangs than a human or elf.

When she was younger, I used to dress her. I'd put the wraps on and knot the fabric of her loin cloth, wrapping the extra around to form a modest little skirt. It was always cheap material, whatever leftover scraps I could get in each town. She grew so quickly, buying her tailored clothes would have been too expensive. Back when I first got her, I still hadn't figured out the whole potions racket yet and could barely feed myself.

Bored as I waited, I let my eyes sweep around the interior of the carriage, my home. Light from the tiny fire hadn't penetrated the curtain. The space in the carriage was empty blackness, so I more remembered what was there instead of seeing it.

My own fine garments, bought second hand at estate sales for dead sorcerers and Avalons, were pressed and folded up. They were never worn more than one day in a row in town. I might sport the same outfit for weeks while on the road. Real sorcerers and sorcerer's Assistants always had a bottomless wardrobe.

"You almost done, Mallow?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm all good," she said.

I opened the curtain again. Mallow was grimacing at me from her spot beneath her makeshift tent, raking her long fingers through her hair. They kept getting stuck on knots. After about the third yelp I felt bad for her. I fished out the large wooden comb I kept on a small shelf near my pillow.

"Why don't you cut your hair?" I asked. I tossed her the comb, my fingers lingering for only a moment. If its fate was to be like all the other combs I gave Mallow, it'd be broken within the hour. Its teeth would be lost to the mighty monstrous knots in her thigh-length, yellow hair.

She snatched the comb from the air and began to yank through her tresses. She obliterating the knots with sheer force instead of taking any sort of methodical approach. Chunks of hair fluttered out of the teeth of the comb and to the ground.

"Because... it's... it's not very arcanacrastic, having short hair, is it?" She asked, wincing as she yanked the comb through.

"What? Now you want to be like a sorceresses... or worse, an Avalon? You know they cast charms that keep their hair from tangling in the first place, right? They don't need to work hard at it." I found it funny that this was her ambition. Even the townsfolk who didn't travel through the woods like we did couldn't keep their hair to the glossy, perfect level sorcerers and Avalons did. It was a completely unrealistic expectation. And yet, she kept yanking, hurting herself to get her hair perfect. Or at least, as close as she could.

"Your job is not supposed to be pretty, anyway. It's to be intimidating." I flexed my arms, hoping being goofy would distract her.

"Yeah, but I mean, not even you're at work all the time. I'm allowed to be a woman sometimes, right?"

I was expecting something along these lines; her ever more frequent concerns about femininity had become a common point of argument over these last few months. Instead of letting it become one more battle, I acted like the statement caught me off guard and rubbed my chin in thought, the bristles there scratching my palm. After a long silence, I shook my head.

"Nope, I don't think so. Definitely not." I glowered at her. She scoffed, throwing the comb down in outrage. I spied that one tooth was already gone.

"Why not?"

"It's not fair."

"How is it not fair?"

"If I can't be a woman sometimes, than neither can you," I said, matter-of-factly. "Sometimes I'm a man instead of a sorcerer's Assistant. I'll let you be a man sometimes, but nope, not a woman. It's unfair."

Mallow laughed, her hand sweeping down and grabbing the comb. To my relief, instead of continuing to brush her hair she chucked the comb at me. I dodged behind one of the curtains of the carriage, and it hit the back wall harmlessly. I tried not dwell on the fact that I was relieved that a monster had thrown something to attack me while cackling, and how somehow that was a good thing in the weird context I was in.

"Let's make a deal. We'll buy two of every dress, and we can wear them on alternating days," she said, going along with my game. "If that's really the issue." She shook her head with a slight grin on her lips.

"Yes, well, while it might be amusing, that'd be the only purpose it served," I said. Now that I had her back in a good mood I could get to the real point I wanted to make. "Like I said, you don't need to be elegant, you need to be terrifying. Threatening. Make sure the customer knows not to mess with us."

Her smile faltered.

"Yeah, but... you know. I'm sort of... you know, getting to marrying age. How am I ever supposed to catch a boy's eye if I'm dressed like this all the time?" Her voice was half argument, half question. So we were back to the boy issue. I had been trying to skirt around it whenever she brought it up, but it was time to be upfront with her. The longer she carried around this delusion that she could fall in love like a normal person, the harder it was going to be when she realized the truth.

"Mallow, the dress isn't why you can't catch a boy's eyes. Even if we got you the fairest dress in the land, you'd still be a Moon Giant, not a neighbor elf or a human," I said. Her orange eyes opened wide in hurt. She twisted away from me. I preemptively winced, expecting half the forest to be thrown into the carriage at me in a rage.

Instead of shouting and the tearing up of trees at their roots, there was nothing. I heard no sound except for the pathetic fire and the insects. Lowering the arms that were shielding my face, I peered up at her. Her shoulders were hunched, her back to me and the fire, hiding her face. I couldn't hear her crying, but that didn't mean she wasn't.

Well, that was easier than I expected it to be. I should have told her months ago. I felt bad that I had made her upset, but she wasn't a customer, and she deserved the truth.

Even though I knew I was right, the continued silence made me consider apologizing, putting on a farce, and confirming the possibility of even her most unreasonable dreams so I would know she wasn't crying.

No. That'd be the easy way today but would make it even harder tomorrow. I shouldn't play games with her when it was something this serious. She might hate me right now, but she'd realize I was right and be thankful I didn't deceive her.

I turned away from her as well, staring at the interior of the carriage. Familiar with everything, I felt around in the darkness until my fingers brushed across the soft rabbit fur blanket. Then I gently punched lumps of fabric until I felt feathery down give against my fist. I snatched up my pillow and fluffed it. I set the pillow against a sealed crate and then folded my bunny blanket to the side.

Next, to undress. The boots, with their dozen golden buckles, left my fingertips raw as I worked them off. Everything after that was easy to get off, since I modified all the clothes I bought before wearing them to make sure they could be put on and removed without a servant's help. It made the clothes less beautiful, but they were still so arcanacrastic that I didn't mind. Of course, being awkward to put on was the least of my worries when it came to buying old clothes.

I once bought a pair of trousers that could only be opened with magic. I realized this after I had to answer nature's call and found the pants quite unwilling to be unfastened. I ended up having to destroy them with Mallow's help and fire-heated knives. Afterwards my high stakes depantsing had become one of our favorite stories. I felt sorry for the dead man's sorceress wife. I'm pretty sure she cursed his trousers because the creep had been running around on her with other women. It couldn't have been an anti-theft charm because it only caused excruciating pain to my nethers whenever I tried to remove the trousers instead of when I tried to put them on.

If I had the luck to marry a sorceress, I wouldn't cheat on her. I'd love her every night to make my own army of sorcerer children. I'd live in the magical luxury of the Enchanted class for the rest of my days.

Thoughts of my imagined sorceress wife to whom I was theoretically devoted and the fictional feasts we would enjoy with our hypothetical children in my dream mansion danced around my head as I climbed under my blankets.

I knew why bunnies were so content the second the weight of the blanket settled down on me. The warmth radiated all over my body. More powerful than a lullaby or a strong drink, the soft weight of my favorite blanket banished my worries and let me slip into my perfect fantasy of riches. As my eyelids lowered, I yawned. I loved how this blanket made me forget about everything. My thoughts darted around, forgetting Mallow. Mallow. If Mallow had been a sorceress instead of a Moon Giant orphan, we wouldn't have any problems. Not that Mallow didn't help with earning coin already...

Inconvenient, like an insect, a thought stung me. A thought that she could help more, and how I didn't want the coin that badly. I had forgotten the creep that offered me coin for Mallow's hair back in Ainodecam three weeks ago. I tried to push it away with my sleep weakened mind. The memory only inflated. His words tickled my ears even with this much time and distance..

"You don't even have to scalp her. Just sell me whatever you can cut off without damage." His words businesslike, his face eerily perfect, blended by magic. Problems with Mallow. Making coin with Mallow. Mallow crying and pulling her hair out, desperate to be beautiful. I rolled and buried my face against the pillow, reassured by its me-smell. The scent of sweat and peppermint oil eased me, reminded me I wasn't in any danger of making a bad choice right now. With the last wisps of consciousness, I made a mental note to burn the hairs Mallow yanked out in hair brushing tonight.

(( A/N: Phony Potions went from no views its first week,  over 100 last week, to 200 this week! I'm so thankful and grateful to everyone that's checked out my tale of giants, magic, and merchants. It only gets better from here, so I hope you keep reading and leaving comments on any of your thoughts, predictions, or hopes. If you can't wait to find out what happens next, the entire story is complete and available on kindle here: https://amzn.com/1530948517  or the paperback version is you prefer a more traditional reading experience https://www.createspace.com/5621397 ))