Chapter 19.1 : Runaways
Dan Hwa : I think, I will just head upstairs.
And just like that, Dan Hwa was the first bird to fly off from the unity.
Dr.Ban : What about you? Call it a day?
Jimin looked at him with a blank expression and nodded. Almost mirroring Dan Hwa, Jimin too followed her flight.
The psychiatrist planted his forearms on the railing restfully, with a gentle smile. Judging from their responses, he grabbed right on the link the two had. Although his destination still seemed pretty blurry, he believed he caught the right track now.
It kind of was the unfortunate part of his job. He deliberately had to trigger their most agonizing moments, in order to heal their cores.
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Being preoccupied with the disturbing realizations from the day before, Jimin spent a restless night.
Hence, very early in the morning, Jimin left his room to get some fresh air. On his way to hit the beach, he noticed Dan Hwa by the restaurant deck of the hotel.
The sky was painted a twilight blue then, with a characteristic cool haze alarming the onset of a mellow sunrise.
Jimin retrieved a few steps and approached Dan Hwa instead. Owing to his friendly personality, he could not but engage in a small talk with her. But before he could utter anything, her body language caught him in doubts.
Even though, it was fairly noticeable that a person walked into that space beside her. Dan Hwa seemed totally unaware; it appeared as if she was caught in a mental war.
Jimin watched her palms, clutching tight on the white railings. She shut her eyes and ducked her head forward, almost in the verge of hyperventilating.
That sight appeared like a deja vu to Jimin. He only had a minor doubt before, but it was growing to prove itself as real. That, maybe Dan Hwa had been the girl by the river, he met the few nights back.
Jimin placed his hand on her strained ones and called her name out. Characterizing a concerned tone, it was also fairly bold.
JM : Dan Hwa-ssi!
Under the crammed state, that voice had a comforting familiarity. She experienced a certain relief, assuming the same man, who saved her by the river not long ago, was by her side this very instant.
Once again, it seemed as if with his presence her soul could fight back the strong urges of her body. And so it did. Dan Hwa opened her eyes lightly panting to recover from the palpitations.
She looked up to the side, this time making sure to see his face, but grew disappointed instantly. Dan Hwa stole her sight away, wiping her sweat off and stabilizing herself. It was yet another hallucination, she affirmed to herself.
Never for the slightest bit, she considered Jimin to be that savior. It seemed far too irrational to her.
Dan Hwa : I am sorry, I-
She had a nervous panic in her voice. And Jimin created a safe distance to give her the needed space to feel comfortable and secure, once again.
JM : What for? I just walked in.
His simple act of oblivion relieved her greatly from the bombardment of self conscious thoughts.
She motioned her gratitude with a small head bow, and Jimin very politely received it.
After some large leaps of time, both the hearts paced back to normal. They moved on from the earlier tide of crisis as if it never happened.
Jimin then resigned to his earlier session of small talk that remained unuttered. The contents however, changed fitting to the situation.
JM : Doc's still down, huh. I can wake him-
Dan Hwa : No, it's fine. Just...
She seemed to push back a few words after. For one thing, she didn't want to be left alone that moment. She feared the earthly flesh might take over her conscious once again.
As if Jimin read through her silence, he stayed put and rested beside her. Calm and composed.
They were quiet. For a long while this time. The scattered clouds not so prominent before, were now ripping way for the scarlet rays to seap through. The giggling waters and their wistful faces alike now complimented with a golden sheer. Their field of vision imbued with such panoramic beauty, they didn't know was possible.
The morning breeze kept them company, and the lulls of the waves eased the strains to a small amount. The radiance their eyes received had a mild relieving effect too. Little did they know, the wonders such pastel hues and scenic lures held in the psychological world.
Accompanying these animated and splendid images, simply the existence of the two anguished souls beside each other, words automatically knitted in Jimin's head. For once, he felt the freedom to express himself without any filters or second thoughts.
JM : I liked to perform, to sing and dance. But, one day, I suddenly realized, I was an Idol.
Dan Hwa did not look at his way, and continued to feast on the glorious colors before them. Those luminescence also projected a transparent canvas that orchestrated their superficial and unmet lives. The one they cannot complain about, for it is one that they apparently chose to lead.
After a brief period, Dan Hwa re-phrased his words in her own perspective. For there was a fine weight and obligation to the label of being an Idol, that she seemed to understand.
Dan Hwa : I liked designing, sets and stages. But, one day, I was suddenly made, a Director.
A small smile spread across Jimin's lips, listening to her approach. For a wild moment, he felt a certain enlightenment as to their psychiatrist's intention to stage them together.
He could weirdly feel their wavelengths flap in sync. And at some forever unspoken expressions, they pained just from the thought to betray the people who had entrusted them with those roles and beliefs. The ones, they feel so heavy to bear and support now.
Dan Hwa : Seeking comfort at the minor inconvenience, seem like such a selfish habit I have developed.
Despite the greedy liberations, the solemn serenity, and that intimate level of understanding. The remorse they harbored against those aids was starting to get heavier.
Dan Hwa : Sometimes, I wish I could run away from this comfort. Even at the expense of my own peace.
An old visitor of such leaden and grim thoughts, Jimin knew bending them was not the right path to approach. Instead, he showed his resonance while subtly hinting the dangers.
JM : When you plan such an episode, count me in too. I have tried, it's too scary alone. I feel having a company wouldn't be that hard.
Dan Hwa : Are we planning an official run out on Doctor Ban?
As if someone would hear them, Jimin whispered his thoughts this time.
JM : He doesn't have a hint. That's oddly tempting.
Both broke into a casual laughter. A rarity for Dan Hwa. In ages was it, that she could be frank with someone so soon.
Too accustomed to being alert every single moment of her life, it almost felt intoxicating to experience quite the opposite that instant. Attuned with a similar industry, he would understand her needs of such enormous levels of privacy, she reasoned.
Thereby, Dan Hwa felt Jimin's company very unthreatening. So much so, that her edgy attitude hardly seemed to penetrate through her consciousness then.
From a more objective sight, sharing the most vulnerable moments by the bridge that night. That, Jimin very meticulously was able to cushion - may have helped thread this surreal harmony between the two mortals. And beyond their knowledge, have woven an intricate rapport, that Doctor Ban could pick on even before they could.
Those uncanny instances where two souls simply share an unexplained connection, in a very short span of time. They were living that reality.
JM : Have we met before though? You sound familiar.
Dan Hwa flipped back many pages and recalled the elevator scene from their agency, where she found Jimin crying. To save him from an unwanted wave of mortification, she played oblivious.
Dan Hwa : Hardly possible. I usually don't meet the artists.
JM : Oh, you might have worked on some of our sets and stages, I suppose. Still, I think I have seen-
He was cut through by the not so much anticipated psychiatrist.
Dr.Ban : Oh, good morning! I see you both are up already.
JM : Sure.
Jimin was unamused. He looked away, resting on his back by the rails.
Dr.Ban : I hope I didn't come in the wrong time.
Dan Hwa dodged one, hence she welcomed him just fine.
Dan Hwa : No, it's all right.
Dr.Ban : Okay. So, did you two have a good sleep?
The psychiatrist pretty much expected otherwise, well aware of all the approaches he made from the night before. But watching them avoid an answer altogether seemed a bit more serious.
Dr.Ban : All right. Grab a seat, I will order us some breakfast.
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Dr.Ban : Your faces tell you have questions for me.
He observed them silently pondering on their curiosities. Jimin, for a change, was engrossed too. He did not bicker. Almost making the doctor question his means of diagnosis. Maybe it was too harsh, he resigned.
Dr.Ban : That's fine. We can talk when we are back home.
Dan Hwa : No, actually-
Dan Hwa felt a certain rush to speak out her mind, which kept her up all night. It was to the point to drive her insane, if she didn't get her answers. The earlier hesitance to the guest beside her, seemed to steer away. This was something they listened to together, she reviewed in her head. And that made her open up a little easier.
Dan Hwa : About the altered memories. I don't know what to believe anymore.
The seasoned psychiatrist could notice the resonance of Dan Hwa's views in Jimin's nervously anticipating eyes. The latter sipped some water wanting to compose himself. And the doctor thence, very eloquently, brought the light of enlightenment to his guests.
Dr.Ban : Well, just because they exist, doesn't mean everything we believe or have known so far are all altered.
After avoiding all these time, Jimin finally matched his eyes with his doctor's, and confidently spoke.
JM : How would we know that? I mean, how do we differentiate?
The psychiatrist allowed his queries be well received, and took a moment to phrase it to his best capacity.
Dr.Ban : There is a fine characteristic to identify it. Facts which appear exactly how you want them to be. Yet, somewhere in your conscience, you simply cannot believe in them.
He paused for a split moment for the words to make sense in their heads.
Dr.Ban : Your gut can tell apart a lie. As they say, you can lie to everyone, but yourself.
A past incident promptly crossed Dan Hwa's mind as if cued by the words conversed. She had a vivid picture of then and the contents of the occurrences. Yet something about it caught her in doubts and unease.
Meanwhile, Jimin expressed his instant reaction to the professional's remarks.
JM : Just thinking about that makes me queasy. Which ones to really 'examine'? They could be so many.
His frustrated retorts brought Dan Hwa back to the table. She remained quiet to further participate in the discussion as she nibbled on the complimentary menu.
Dr.Ban : They are actually not so common. In the broad spectrum of memories, altered ones are pretty much rare.
His listeners experienced a light release of weight at one simple sentence. Nevertheless soon had their ears raised as the psychiatrist continued.
Dr.Ban : But it could be a significant part in shaping our lives.
The singer and the set director once again held tight on their silent ponders. The psychiatrist allowing them the space to align their thoughts, came through the session in the right moment.
Dr.Ban : Altered memories are not necessarily bad.
Both were teased into a mental fit against the existence of altered memories; they felt deceived by their own selves. Nonetheless, the psychiatrist, like his usual tactics, attempted to focus their sight on the bright side of it.
Dr.Ban : They are proofs that you need to be protected from the original form of it.
Equipped with the fresh perspective, the two rather had different reactions. While Jimin showcased a satiated and yielded attitude to the discourse. Dan Hwa, on the flip side, had a deeper crease on her temple, as she recalled the earlier prompted event in her conscious. She could not fathom before, that she could actually reach the original sequence to discover the lies she had been living.
Dr.Ban : Avoid digging on it unless it seems important enough. That, it makes you feel your time has stopped since then. Or that you find yourself often traveling back to the same terminal.
Dan Hwa spoke right away feeling called upon.
Dan Hwa : How do we reach the original form of it?
Dr.Ban : Alibis. Like a crime scene can be fabricated to make it look insignificant by hiding the clues from plain sight. If we look for alibis, they can provide us the hints we are looking for.
Dan Hwa and Jimin waited for the correspondence, he was about to make with his analogy.
Dr.Ban : In our case, someone who also shares the same memory. Very evidently, something traumatizing to us might be trivial to them. Therefore, highly likely, they have not altered their versions.
Jimin seemed drifting to a torrent of conjuncture as well. The mere recollection of it softened his bold voice and expressions.
JM : What if it doesn't have any alibis?
Dan Hwa looked at the doctor, curious by the same. Doctor Ban reclined on his seat to further respond.
Dr.Ban : Well then, it becomes a little trickier and difficult. But, it is not impossible. Visiting places which staged that memory and reenacting the occurances in your head, even if they seem altered. That should trigger something different.
The ones across the table to him were yet again clutched in a silence. Unlike earlier, having their needed answers now, it was rather a serene and peaceful silence.
They finally began to have fair bites contrasting to the earlier nibbles. The psychiatrist smiled in a content and focused on his serving as well, admiring the two seated before him.
He was brought to the epiphany that over the countless course of guiding these two souls, he had grown fond of them. A new kind of affection gleamed in his heart as he untiringly watched them with keen and warmth in his eyes.
The psychiatrist took notice of their plates and bowls neatly emptied like his own. And pronounced his final ment.
Dr.Ban : And this concludes our feast as well.
They, with casual gestures and smiles, exited the restaurant altogether. Once reaching the lobby, Dan Hwa faced the two males before speaking.
Dan Hwa : I will take off now. It was a nice break from everything. Thank you...
Dan Hwa gave a subtle glance to Jimin, appreciating him with a small gratitude.
Dan Hwa : ...to the both of you.
The latter politely smiled back, rather zoned out from the gather. Only the psychiatrist responded with words.
Dr.Ban : Sure. It was a delight to have you. Have a safe journey back.
She lightly greeted them next, as she commuted her steps to the exit.
The remaining two kept watching her walk away before the doctor brought his attention back to Jimin.
Dr.Ban : Anyway, what do you feel like doing? Go on a cruise ride with me, or heading back home?
Now actually alert, he looked at the doctor.
JM : Oh, well. Depends if you are still paying.
The psychiatrist chuckled at his remark and answered right away.
Dr.Ban : Of course I am. When will such a day come again? That we get to go on a cruise together.
Just his words struck the singer with some kind of realization. He repeated it in his head and without any response, Jimin began to sprint away from the premise. Something about the uncertainty that they might never have a chance to meet again, propelled his steps thoughtlessly.
The doctor, startled and stunned for a moment, followed his track right after. Only to realize Jimin was going outdoors.
Dr.Ban halted his steps noticing him chasing after Dan Hwa's car. The latter already on move.
Jimin, nonetheless, was fast enough to dab on the trunk of her car, making her bring the vehicle to an instant break.
Before any further actions could take place between the two, Jimin heard a camera flash going off at his face.
That characteristic shutter, and he immediately entered Dan Hwa's car from the closest door, asking her to drive off.
Experienced from such a situation before with her celebrity cousin, Dan Hwa did not waste a second to slam on the accelerators. A step ahead she was, Dan Hwa put on the blinds of her windows and kept driving ahead without any complaints.
Meanwhile, outside the Maple Inn, the psychiatrist noticed a man at a distance, fumbling with his camera as he gave himself out on the first 'hidden' shot. Supposed to be without a flash.
The doctor heard the hotelier coming out, in a hurry in the next instant, "Were they able to get away?"
Dr.Ban : They barely did. What was that about? I'd asked you-
The squire panted, "I know. I know. It was all under control. They seemed to have intentionally sent in a new clumsy face, to make us suspect less."
Dr.Ban : Hyun Joon-ah, was I not clear enough?!
"Don't worry," the hotelier continued, "he is already in our custody. I will make sure no pictures are public."
The psychiatrist could only bring his trust basing on his old friendship with the hotelier of Maple Inn. Thus, he nodded understandingly.
Doctor Ban then flashed out his phone to make a call to the escapees, but received one from them instead. He accepted it right away.
Dr.Ban : Yes, Jimin-ssi. Are you both okay?
JM : We are fine-
Dr.Ban : I am so sorry, I promised to take care of your privacy.
JM : It's all right, Doc. They have their ways to slather into your private space anyway. I called to say that...
Jimin was now in the front seat beside Dan Hwa; he had made the shift without the car halting anywhere. A little awkward and uncomfortable the whole maneuver was, but they managed to deal pass it.
JM : ...say that I will be heading to Seoul with Ms.Baek. It's too risky coming back.
Dr.Ban : Oh, yes. Totally. I will have you packed out from your room.
JM : Thanks, Doc. And don't take the blame on yourself. It wasn't your fault.
The psychiatrist was warmed by his words. In no situation did Jimin skip practicing his kind nature.
Dr.Ban : All right. Be safe, you two.
As the call ended, Jimin once again felt the weight of bother. The bother he thought he was causing Dan Hwa by guesting himself on her car without consent.
JM : I- I feel very sorry to have inconvenienced you. First, it was against your will that I technically dragged you inside the hotel last night. And, now this. Trust me, I am not this clingy.
The singer's fit of nerves seemed oddly funny to Dan Hwa. It fished out her deep swimming personality of teasing, which even she felt foreign. Nonetheless, she called off the idea on a second thought, not sure how it would be received.
Keeping her active focus on the road, she stole occasional glances at him as she spoke.
Dan Hwa : Easy there. We are both heading to the same destination anyway. Besides, a tedious long journey was scary alone. Having a company, it doesn't seem that hard, as someone once said.
Jimin chuckled. It was amusing to watch her phrasing back his own words to him. Despite the persisting bug of nuisance he felt he was being, a certain sense of repose veined through him.
Upon a confrontation, however, about his earlier sprint after her, Jimin fidgeted nervously. Fortunately, a leaflet on the dashboard, among other miscellinious papers, caught his attention. And he was quick to grab it.
JM : Oh, it's a new French diner. "A slice of Paris in Korea". It looks decent. We should go there sometime.
Despite noticing his evident jitters, Dan Hwa decided to let it go and play along his cards.
Dan Hwa : You and I–we?
JM : . . .
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