Imperial Residence

Submerged in the warm tub of water, in the muffle of sounds, past memories surged in like a strong wave. Specifically of the day, Dan Hwa's mother met the calamity of her life.

Her body felt buoyant as all her sensations and consciouses converged to her mother's broken words resonating in her ears.

"Dan-ie, it's d-angerous!"

Once again the ghastly blares of the catastrophe fueled her agitated nerves in a hysterical fashion. The earlier calm film of water now appeared to choke her down as she flapped her limbs in struggles for air.

Her feet landing on the base of the tub in one of those frantic movements, she was plunged free to ultimately breathe out of the water. Her heart pulsating violently.

She blinked her eyes to clear her vision and wiped her face off the excess dripping bathwater, taking long leaps of air. Her body in light shivers, Dan Hwa tried to process the last few minutes.
How she was unconsciously trying to drown herself, how she laid completely defenseless underwater. It was all too daunting to fathom in the right senses.

She felt terrified. Terrified to live in her own body anymore for how unpredictable it has become. For how self destructive it was turning to be. And how formidable influence it had on her conscious.

But not long late, Dan Hwa deciphered a mirror image of herself seated across the bathtub. Unlike herself, more bold and devoid of any fear-to mention the contrasts.

"Are you blaming me right now?" It laughed at her, "That's funny."

Dan Hwa kept her perplexed silence unable to comprehend the sight.

"I am the one helping you, because you hesitant little soul is too coward to do the deed. And now you fear 'me'?"

It seemed as if the body and the soul of Dan Hwa were staged against each other. The wounded soul wanted to escape its torment and afflictions by leaving the body of Dan Hwa. However, without the soul, the human body had no existence and neither did the soul without a body, in this realm.

While with its pure and dewy nature, it could not afford to leave Dan Hwa to her end and wander aimless in this foreign land unguided and unknown. The body then volunteered to free the soul for it seemed the best it could do, not knowing that the grim reaper would not arrive to escort the soul to the hereafter before Dan Hwa's fated hour of death counted in.

"I will free you soon."

Even more frightened, Dan Hwa stumbled out of the tub to escape the very confrontation. But a comment came across from her mirror image halting her steps.

"See. You are a coward."

Dan Hwa breathed heavy rather in an ire than in complete fear. She snapped at the image with a scrowl.

Dan Hwa : SHUT UP!

She clenched tight on her white bathrobe looking towards the empty tub, only to find no one there.

Was it a hallucination? -Dan Hwa doubted and exited the bathroom immediately after.

She simply fled the situation and dressed herself warm. Her phone flashed the number of Doctor Ban that she typed in from his business card.

She called him.

But no words could fuse out of the castle of her mouth. Dan Hwa was reluctant to sound the reason behind her call. The psychiatrist's concerned alarm grabbed her attention back to the phone.

Dr.Ban : Can you hear me? Are you all right?

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.

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Late through the dark and silent hours of dusk, Dan Hwa was seen racing through the streets on her bike.

Her current medication wore out as she jolted out of a nightmare, sweating and panting all over a while ago.

Dan Hwa once again had lost her grip on her self destructive body. She cycled in an inhuman pace and reached the river central to the city in no time.

With the waterbody in sight, her body-in full command-braked the bicycle and ran towards the railing of the bridge. Careless and completely unaware of her surroundings.

However, the fleeting instant where she hesitated to climb the rail bars, a warm hand glued flat on her forehead and thwarted her deed. With the inane excuse that a flat palm was strong enough to stop her, she played along the pretence. And did not rebel further to hurl herself down the bridge.

In that cold breeze and foreign hour of night, maybe she was yearning for this stranger's intrusion in her act.

"You should not jump into water when you have a cold." A strange comment came across from the strange man who seemed to have covered his identity on purpose. Or maybe he was not simply a big fan of the cold weather, she argued. There was a hint of familiarity in his exposed features but she was mentally too occupied to connect any puzzles then.

"You have a light fever right now."

None of his words made sense to her, but she desired to listen to him. She did not want him to stop saying the words that were ridiculous but weirdly craved.

"I stepped out to get some fresh air, but seems like that would be hard. It's not even winter yet, the weather keeps getting colder." He rubbed his palms with a warm blow from his mouth and tucked them in his pockets.

"The water must be very chilly too. Tonight is not a good idea, I am telling you. You will freeze to death."

Dan Hwa finally looked away to the river, her heavy breaths dialing down gradually. She made sure to mumble her words but maybe the silence of the night helped the other to listen to them just fine.

"That is what I was going for afterall." Dan Hwa was definite to have spoken those words in her head.

What surprised her the next moment was the comment that came across. As if he could read her outer silence.

"Are you sure? Ending it all, is that what you really want?"
He looked at her, Dan Hwa's eyes already arrested to his own; she was trying to figure out the peculiar entity of a man, standing before her.
To his simple question, heavy enough to bury her inner voice that desperately wanted to provide an answer. She wanted to let him know how badly she desires to stop her body.

"Not wanting to end your torments rather?" The stranger carefully framed his words, aiding to the sensitivity of the situation.

Dan Hwa looked away again, this time beyond her will. As if her body disabled her to express her true self.

Dan Hwa : It's the same thing anyway.

"Wrong answer!"

From a hopeless perspective, the conversation diverted to a debate of validating their statements now.

Dan Hwa : If I end my life, everything related to me ends with me. What's wrong in that?

Dan Hwa's voice sounded resentful and frustrated. She weighted her words with an air of dominance to prove her point.

"Everything." The stranger softly stated and sighted ahead this time with his calm and composed demeanor.

"If the trash is full in a household, I would much rather throw that out. What you are implying is, to demolish the entire house instead."

As if the symbolic barriers inside her fastened themselves to obstruct any kind of manipulation, Dan Hwa's grip on the railing tightened. That little detail did not slip out of the man's observation.

"It's my home, where my loved ones feel secure and loved. Just for those perishing trash in a corner, you want me to knock it all down?" The man placed his question gently, sprinkling a hint of assertion in it. He waited for her comeback patiently.

Dan Hwa's voice now seemed muffled and restrained as she pronounced the next few words. Through the right eyes, one could peek into the constant inner conflict in the variations of her tone.

Dan Hwa : Disowning torment is not as simple as throwing out trash, is it?

Carrying her into a talk until her impulsive urge fused down was his motive then. As he noticed every little twitch of her body language, he was on mark for any abrupt snap.

Barely living in the contradictions of the body and soul, one of the most excruciating battles humans are routinely spuring under a tranquil personality. Sadly, more frequently in each progressing day. Psychic explosions screamed louder than bombs. Blood shed in the form of draining emotional vitality.
Yet, very few are acknowledged. Helped. And ever saved.

Not a certified professional, the mystic man was surely an old soldier of these silent wars. And no longer did he desire to hold himself back from giving a hand to those in dire need.

"So, what is that torment to you? Insecurity? Guilt? Unidentified reason?"

Dan Hwa : Gui-...

The eerie shimmer of the water intoxicated her once again, being dominated by the will of her body. The recollection of those remorseful deeds further impelled the action. Dan Hwa's soul fought this urge to all its mights. She desperately wanted a hand to hold her back.

As if the stranger heard the silent screams of her soul, he grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the rails. He revised in his head : a human embrace can essentially ease and relax one caught in distress. This is the last resort, he singled out.

He no longer used words and wrapped her in a bare hug, restricting all the rebels Dan Hwa tried to bring against the sudden skinship.

As if the human embrace revitalized her soul's heavenly powers, it could finally defeat the earthly flesh. And made Dan Hwa surrender to the hug. The one that almost felt like a foreign experience. It is all a vague block of memories of the last time she was being held. Held with care.

All the rationales that it was from a complete stranger who might have other motives seemed to subside from her conscience. Bit by bit, as her resistance dropped, so did the tight clasp of the man. It was more gentle and secure now that she conceded.

The guards down with loosened defense, she felt a wistful warmth sipping into the cold palace resided by her soul. The secure hold and soft strokes on her back melted the bars of ice that caged her true emotions. Those that she disabled herself to perceive and express. The moon of blue setting down, Dan Hwa could finally breathe in the beams of a strange but warm sun.

The soul in a long while soaked in the light of human warmth. Like the bonfire caressing its heat against cold hands. Or bare feet bathing in the morning sunlight of winter.

The soul put all its strength to bring her arms to wrap around the stranger. To lock the embrace : its comforting heat, for a longer period.

He could now hear some muffled sniffles and weeps coming from her. Without any complaints, he brought the palm of his hand to stroke her round head.

She was not influenced by any of the restrictions built to resist her tears anymore. Dan Hwa thoughtlessly let the cascade flow out in the hide of his arms.

"A strange man in the strange hour of night... comforted me." Dan Hwa narrated in her mind.
Her hands clasping on the soft fabric of his garment, covetously holding on.

The release of hormones marched in their bodies aiding the agitation of nerves. Dan Hwa exhaled out a visible breath of relief as all the wrinkles of doubts and confusion in her face smoothed out gradually, into a peaceful hush.

All things beautiful didn't last very long in nature. A bitter characteristic, that made them more cherished and meaningful.

And so did the serene tranquility for the two midnight strangers. Those haunting voices in Dan Hwa's head, capsuled in a memory sphere, echoed and resonated in her ears like a distant spell.

The catastrophic aftermath of her carelessness that drove her mother to death, jolted her awake once again. Like it did to her an hour back in her apartment. It was the first time Dan Hwa had a visual nightmare of the accident. And it transfixed her guts like nothing before.

Dan Hwa was fired up with an intense repulsion and pushed the man away with all her strengths. Her hair ruffling everywhere in the sudden gush of wind, she covered her ears.

Dan Hwa : STOP! What do you know!

She screamed at those demeaning voices in her head that just added further to her jitters. It appeared as if she was trying to plunge out the crippling frustration through her loud voice. Dan Hwa looked up at the man straight and neared him fearfully.

He witnessed her thin eye veins streaking red as she grabbed his collar. She sounded resentful.

Dan Hwa : What do you know to stop me?! What do you f*cking know!

The man didn't look away from her teary but bold eyes, neither did she from his wistful and silent gaze. He wanted to speak but was bound by his own shackles.

Dan Hwa scoffed almost mocking his silence.
She let go of him moments later and did not wait through anymore. She picked up her bicycle that was strayed a while back. Sniffing her emotions with her tears, Dan Hwa wheeled the cycle alongwith her as she walked her way past the man.

"I know..."

The latter who was initially rendered speechless, cracked his shell slightly in the spur of the moment.

He narrated his deep rooted personal regrets that he could never bring himself to utter from his mouth before.
"I know what and how it feels, more than anyone."

Dan Hwa's steps reflexively halted, only a few centimetres distancing their backs.

He continued, "A single day doesn't go by when I don't think about-if only I had helped her then, if only I didn't turn a blind eye like I was told to. Maybe- Maybe she would've been alive today."

Dan Hwa could feel the depth and weight in his words that appeared like a strained narration.

"Maybe..."

Dan Hwa stood statue-like for how close to home his words have stricken her.

"But I know... I am not the only one with regrets... I am not the only one having it hard. We all live our fair share of ever-ything." There was a heavy rasp in the cracks of his voice. Something intensely dark and painful. Something familiar to Dan Hwa.

"Thus, no one actually has the right to decide their ends."

As if that one simple sentence singlehandedly disabled all those detrimental urges, Dan Hwa felt the clutch of her body loosen around her conscience.

"It's too late. Go home now."

Those were his last words as she heard his footsteps growing lighter and distant. She picked up her walk again but much slower.

Dan Hwa could slowly percieve something warm against her abdomen, curiously she shoved one of her hands in her pocket. And found a heat pack. Little did she realize, the strange consoler left it there for her during the hug.

She immediately looked back at the man to see him casually walking his way. He had walked far away by then. Dan Hwa clutched the heat pack and placed it back in her pocket as she climbed on her bicycle. She pedalled it normal and the perpetual heat felt against her body kept her warm. As if the sensation of that warmth helped her hold on her sanity and replaced the heat of self destruction.

Meanwhile, the savior reached his own nest, feeling alleviated to have spoken out the words he had yearned to liberate for years.

He sneaked inside his dormitory very quietly not to wake anyone up. However, his lowkey attempt was to no avail as he got caught.

"Jimin-ie?" The familiar voice of Taehyung focused the pair of careful eyes in the living room. The former squinting his drowsy lids confirmed it was indeed his plump friend.

TH : Where are you coming from, this late?

Jimin quietly closed the front door behind him and advanced towards the confused and sleepy man.

JM : Was troubled sleeping, so just went for a stroll.

Unfortunate how they were so suffocated by the attention and especially the spying cameras, that Jimin felt safe to take a walk only in the late night hours. Even so, he heeded to wear his mask just to take that extra mile of safety.

Taehyung scratched his itchy cheeks and innocently placed his offer to Jimin's words.

TH : Shall I sleep next to you? You tend to sleep well when I do.

Jimin laughed suppressing the volume heedful of the late hour.

JM : It's okay. I think I will be fine today.

The unease Jimin left the dorm with seemed to have been aided by the refined and vulnerable embrace, he experienced by the river. He smiled recalling that moment and hoped for Dan Hwa's safety and well-being.

Taehyung nodded intoxicated by sleep and made his way to his room, wishing Jimin a good sleep.

Jimin, on his own way, took the restroom for a quick refreshment. Once he exited the same opening to his shared bedroom, he noticed Taehyung sleeping on his bed, hugging a pillow.

"So he only went in his room to get that pillow." Jimin chuckled quietly checking on Hoseok if he was disturbed by his movements. Making sure the older was unbothered, he dabbed his wet face with a small white towel as he walked over to the sleeping Taehyung.

Resting the towel on the bed header, Jimin pulled the comforter over Taehyung nicely tucking him in and got himself under the same duvet. This happened so often, that Taehyung's sudden intrusive scoot on his bed in the middle of the night didn't surprise Jimin anymore.

Another day dawned in their lives, the three mortals still breathing safe. Ever so casually, as if the night before was nothing out of ordinary, the three invested in their daily routine.

Dan Hwa making her visits to the sets prepared by her team and practicing her directorial role diligently.

Jimin performing the choreographies with the members fully engaged and leaving no room for mistakes and inefficiency.

And the psychiatrist, checking on all his in-patients in the morning round, advising change of dosage and medication to a few. And presenting to his afternoon shift of appointments, knocked on the door of his friend, Doctor Min.

.

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In the hospital canteen, they sat across each other and the psychiatrist spoke.

Dr.Ban : I confirmed.

Dr.Min : About what?

Dr.Ban : That girl... I know her now.

Doctor Ban sighed long, thinking about it. And the dentist, well acquainted with her friend's past scars and wounds, grew worried at the mention of that girl.

Dr.Min : Did you talk to her about the incident?

Dr.Ban : . . .

_____

Will he tell Dan Hwa?

Pt. 2 - tomorrow! :)

Behind the scenes
(Earlier, when Dan Hwa called her psychiatrist.)

Dr.Ban : Can you hear me? Are you all right?

Dan Hwa could perceive the click-clacks of his rushed movements in his car. The inner conflicting facets reminded how undeserving she was of seeking help.

She spoke with a clear voice nonetheless, setting aside all the wrangles of her insides.

Dan Hwa : Yes, I am doing okay. Just on my Chamomile tea right now.

The set director tried to mimic her own voice to resemble as close to her normal frequency. Not being able to read her expressions through the call, the psychiatrist was at a disadvantage then. But her call evidently had reasons, he could only hope he found a peek to reach those.

Dan Hwa : And I called you to tell...

Dr.Ban : Yes, I am here. You can take your time.

Dan Hwa reluctantly looked down at her fingers fidgeting with the handle of her cup.

Dan Hwa : Earlier today... after you left, I think I saw the grandson police have been looking for.

Doctor Ban was caught off guard and took a moment to register her unexpected remark.

Dr.Ban : Ye? Mrs.Hwang's Grandson? Well, where did you see him?

Dan Hwa : Outside the restuarant. It seemed like he was hiding from her. I might be wrong. But while at it, I felt it wouldn't harm to search for him there too.

Dr.Ban : Yes, you are right. There is a possibility, he felt his grandmother's place the safest corner to hide. The police would have never looked there.

Dan Hwa sipped from her cup as she listened to the line.

Dr.Ban : Thank you for the information. I will make sure to add this too while I inform them of Mrs.Hwang's coordinates.

Dan Hwa : Ye... Okay then, have a good night.

Dr.Ban : All right. Take your medicines with heed. And just letting you know that you can call me anytime. I will answer it.

With a straight response to follow his advice, Dan Hwa ended the call and sighed in a disappointment.

She looked up at the laptop screen, loosening her stature from the earlier nervous one.

"Another failed attempt." Dan Hwa whirred reading the actual reason that she called him. The unlawful site that she gained all the information about her doctor, had a public comment that specifically caught her eye.

Despite the very lowkey record of the psychiatrist, the site provided some exclusive snippets of his personal life alongwith the other prominent figures of the hospital.
Led by Nurse Geum, the site was although founded to satisfy her admiration for Doctor Ban, over time the supposedly 'fanclub' was converted to an unofficial prospectus and portfolio of the hospital elite staff. Hosting the entire nurse community of the centre exclusively.

Any nursing intern joining the same, would be instructed to wire themselves in the club to have the finest access about all the legends, unsaid rules and regulations and specifics they needed to know with each health professional.
Anyone without the pinned information about the site could not access it. Therefore, Dan Hwa got her's when she overheard a few nurses talk one evening.

The name stuck in the back of her head, Dan Hwa visited the concealed site that night. Through the partial access to the same, she read a few articles about her psychiatrist. With the innocent curiosity to learn more about the person she shared some of her core feelings with.

Among those entries, the vagueness of losing his wife and daughter to a five year old accident piqued her interest. But, she was denied access to the discussion below that post. Neither could she text the admin directly. Thus, Dan Hwa ran that extra mile and faked the identity of a nurse to inquire about it further. Not secured with very high end privacy features, she quite easily got herself into the site.

However, she could not gain much information beside the fact that the incident has been rumored to have rich family associations. Who have most certainly concealed the detailed truth about the accident from the sight of public.

It was still vague. But the truth burials definitely had a familiar ring to Dan Hwa. Something quite similar was attempted by her own father during her mother's unsought demise.

Having no more hopes from the internet, Dan Hwa set on her journey to ask Doctor Ban in direct terms, yet to no avail. It was also this site that let her know the exact location of the seminar hall Doctor Ban was going to be in.

Presently, she clicked shut her gadget and rubbed her head, telling herself that she could be reading too much into everything. And reminded herself, her overreactions to literally any remotely matching incident with her mother's.

Dan Hwa chugged down a full glass of water and laid herself under the comforter to simply shut her mind and drift to sleep.

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