"I've never been so wide awake
No, nobody but me can keep me safe
And I'm on my way."

• • •

Few days later

What seemed like a session on cue, inside the pastel corals of the psychiatrist's room, was a first meeting. Ironically a fine film of familiarity layered over their faces.

Dr.Ban closed the door of his personal doubts and attended to his new outpatient, with a refined and calm approach.

He revisited her name on his computer screen as he initiated the conversation.

Dr.Ban : So, Ms.Baek Dan Hwa, tell me what is in your head right now. What are you thinking?

Dan Hwa : "Was this man a psychiatrist?"

Caught a little off guard at her unexpected and straightforward response, the psychiatrist chuckled lightly.

Dr.Ban : Very specific. And it's appreciated. Well, if it's okay, can you tell me why were you here last time? Which doctor did you have an appointment with, if at all?

Dan Hwa : Oh, it was the psychologist next door, Dr.Pyo.

Dr.Ban : I see. But may I know the reason to your steps ending a little early today? Did he recommend you to a psychiatrist?

Dan Hwa : No. He didn't. "Hope to see you again next week," was what he said last.

Dr.Ban : So, you go to him still?

Dan Hwa : No. I didn't go back again. Maybe talk therapy was not what I was looking for.

Dan Hwa, latching her doors to a psychologist, lived a few days in contemplation. Crucified and afflicted by the pernicious effects of her lethal thoughts, her steps finally walked her down to the portal of the psychiatrist.

Looking for a quick and safer solution to her superficial travails of sleep deprivation. She prepared herself to answer all the questions that were coming her way. Therefore, Dan Hwa loosened her guards across the professional.

Dr.Ban : All right. Let me know what's troubling you.

Dan Hwa : I may have Insomnia. I can't sleep at night unless I take sleeping pills. And I don't want to depend on it for the rest of my life.

Dr.Ban : That's a very wise decision. It does sound like Insomnia. So, walk me through the span you have been having sleep problems.

Dan Hwa : I can't pin point the exact timeline. But, I happened to have an entire week of no work few months ago. Hence, I doubt it began since then. Or so it came to my light.

The psychiatrist while writing down a prescription for Dan Hwa, inquired her a little personally. He was considering all possible causes of her distress. And did not force a category to her infirmities. Instead Dr.Ban was open to deducing the root genesis.

Dr.Ban : Friends, love, work, family. Any stress factor associated with these? Or maybe any recent but big change that might've caused you any kind of instability.

The suppresed anxiety plunged right into her at those simple word tags. She clenched her fist under the table, trying to keep a straight face.

Dan Hwa : No-... I- I don't know.

Dr.Ban noticed her nervous stutters. The straightforward answers now seemed indecisive and uncertain. A very common symptom that indicated a propable discomfort with the fundamentals.

Very strategically, the psychiatrist landed on to eliminate the possibilities by subtle means. He rested his pen and filed her prescription under his arms, as he fixed his eyes on her.

Dr.Ban : Ms.Baek, where or what kind of work do you do?

She immediately snapped with an anxious voice.

Dan Hwa : Why are there so many questions? The psychologist didn't ask me that many.

Simply to avoid intrusive questions and wanting a fast remedy to her problems, had Dan Hwa turned to a physician. Prioritizing everything over her mental health. She believed, if she could rest well during the night, there ought to be no issues in her work performance in the day.

To her, the psychiatrist was the last resort she could stop at. And at all cost, Dan Hwa tried her best to not have the same change of heart as she had with the psychologist.

Dr.Ban : Well, that is why I am the -trist. I tend to have many questions in general. You see, I deal with very powerful medicines. So, I need to know who I am prescribing them to.

Nor was the psychiatrist an easily dumpable candidate. His manipulative approach was competent enough to convince her otherwise. Finding the perfect time, the psychiatrist reframed his sentences. 

Dr.Ban : Anyway, not satisfied with your work life or the environment overall?

Dan Hwa breathed out silently and whirred to herself, that she cannot afford to walk out of this door too. For the sake of responsibilities, she has over her shoulders. The mere sense of it, that Dan Hwa hated to overlook or disregard.

Henceforth, she calmly placed her answers.

Dan Hwa : I work at a set production company and I am satisfied with my profession. I did it by choice, since I love making sets and stages.

Dr.Ban : I see. What exactly is your position in the company?

The psychiatrist was deliberately pushing her, to build a trust. The faith, that both the physician and the patients are required to craft together. Simultaneously as the former took close notice of the latter's body language.

Dan Hwa : A set designe- I mean, a set director. Sometimes, I design too.

Dr.Ban : A new promotion? Not used to the title yet?

Dan Hwa : Yeah...

Studying her susceptible and defenseless, the psychiatrist singled out to terminate the interrogation then and there. In his field, the state of acquiescence is a red alert that a physician must always be heedful to take.

From the entire observation, Dr.Ban made a rough conclusion that Dan Hwa was not an ordinary sleep deprived patient. Who was merely stressed and robbed of a peace of mind.

She needed more than just some medicines.

She needed to be heard.

She needed care.

Therefore, he attempted to keep his remarks airy, in order to positively keep her on the track to his cabin.

Dr.Ban wanted to help her.

He wanted to listen to her.

He wanted to heal her.

Dr.Ban : All right, I wrote you some supplements on sleep inducers. Take them an hour prior to going to bed. And I will meet you again next week.

Dan Hwa : Next week? Why though? Aren't I supposed to come back, only if I have a problem?

Dr.Ban : Well, to frame it in easy words, Insomnia treatment is a long term procedure. Not all kinds of it is triggered by the same medications. So, we will have to run a few series of drug compositions to hit yours. And for that, at least a week's study is a must for a particular drug to show its effects.

Although it was a little difficult to grasp for how long the procedure could take was uncertain. She appreciated his honesty and the explicit elucidation.

Dr.Ban : Also, there might be persistent sleepless nights. But, I want you to completely get rid of the sleeping  pills. You might be seeing side effects by now if you have been taking them regularly. And that can worsen if you continue.

Dan Hwa : Side effects?

Dr.Ban :  For example; daytime drowsiness, headaches, irregular cycles of sleep, easy exhaustion and weakness etc.

With the pronouncement of the offshoots, there were a few rings in her head. The time, when she fell asleep in the taxi unexplained. Her feeling languid and weak often, that she tried to suppress with energy drinks—were at long last, side effects of the pills. Dan Hwa discovered the answers she was not even looking for. The doctor drew her attention once again as he continued.

Dr.Ban : Hence, those pills have to completely go. I request for your cooperation. There will be tempts; you have to resist them. My best advice is to dump the pills once and for all. Only then, can the treatment be cent percent efficacious.

As if Dan Hwa cemented her boundaries once again, her responses bricked short and minimal.

Dan Hwa : All right. Thank you. Have a nice day.

Dan Hwa, atypical of her, pensively exited the cabin right after the greet. Dr.Ban stared at the closed door for a while and gazed back at his computer screen.

The uncanny resemblance of Dan Hwa with the blurred face in his memories, was constantly poking his focus. Thus, he typed in a few key words into the search bar of an internet website.

Holding a breath, he scrutinized through the few articles that showed up. Nonetheless, the psychiatrist could only let out a few sighs.

By the look of it, it was transparent that the news articles listed now were all fabricated and contained inadequate information. As if someone deliberately had the aired news wiped out from the sight of public.

He shook his head and called the reception outside, to send in his next outpatient.

Blinks apart, Dr.Ban, with a fresh smile, greeted a timid high schooler, coming in with her mother. For a moment, the little girl reminded him of Ms.Yoo.

That night, the Yoo teenager had disclosed some of her scarred secrets out to the world. Dr.Ban alongwith the police officers learned that, she and her brother ran away from an orphanage few years ago.

Hating to be separated after a foreign family adopts them individually, the little ones escaped the pity shelter one night.
Zealous, they were determined to look for their grandmother. However, name, address, hometown, neighborhood—they had nothing about her.

Lost and astray, with tired bodies and empty stomach—they sheltered under a deserted street shop.

Unaware and scared, they did not realize they were in a restricted and feared territory of a small bandit troupe. Quite literally like a movie, the Yoo siblings were recruited into the vicious maze of delinquencies.

It had been a year since they were promoted to the drug smuggling team. While the girl was assigned to getting prescriptions, her older brother—by feigning the legality of it—to buy those medicines and transport them to their supervisor. Who, would then sell those ahead to various parties that would demand for special drugs at hefty prices.

Although, the siblings were not directly connected to the spiral and lived separately in a poor conditioned home. Anytime they would be late for a delivery, Mr.Yoo would be assaulted in the bandit's club. And the brother would pass that frustration later on to his sister.

Ms.Yoo, in order to save herself from an abuse, would try different means to get her hands on a prescription. Sometimes, faking a mental instability. Sometimes, flashing her under developed cleavage to male physicians.

While some were weakened by those tactics, some well restrained doctors had her reported. As a result, the siblings would often have to change their area of work.

The older she aged into her teens, Ms.Yoo grew further appalled and disgusted by her own actions. And had been rebellious a few times, to not use indecorous means for an outlawed work like theirs.

Sadly being threatened to be sold off to a pimp, she compromised in the hands of fate and a hopeless survival. And continued to work, but also had the impulsive attitude surfacing off and on with a few doctors.
Maybe, luck was on her favor, that Dr.Ban happened to be one of those.

New to the area, her inner dignity, did not allow her to pull her shirt down to him. Nor did she have the incentive to put up a psycho act in front of the doctor.

Henceforth, she plainly prepared herself for a beating from her older brother the following night.

To her fortune, Ms.Yoo had the habit to write down their neighborhood and contact number in the appointment forms, in a forlorn hope that one day someone would reach out.
Nevertheless, she was so long out of expectations that the arrival of Dr.Ban at her doorstep caught her off guard. As if a miracle misted in the air of dejection.

A little resilient she was initially, but the desperation propelled her to take the helping hand regardless. And climb out of the dark well, she was trapped in against her own conscious will.

Presently, Dr.Ban, after a long day, marched towards the elevator. With quiet movements, he entered the empty space and pressed the desired button.
The door opened to a floor just above the psychiatric department.
He casually walked out to his destination and halted by the door he was looking for.

Dr.Ban knocked three times and entered the room carefully. He saw the owner of the plaque outside, peacefully rested on the bed. She was reading the comic book he had gifted her, while listening to music through her earphones.

In order to nudge her, the psychiatrist advanced towards her as he audibly called out her name.

Dr.Ban : Yoo Ji Yeon-ssi.

The second she registered his presence, she unplugged her ear buds and shot her sight at him. As if she had been waiting for him to pay her a visit.

Ms.Yoo : Professor Ban! When do I get discharged?

Dr.Ban : Oh, well. All the tests are done and your bruises are healing quite well. So, by tomorrow most probably.

Ms.Yoo : Good grace, I hate this place.

Dr.Ban : Um... I wanted to talk to Ji Yeon-ssi a little. Is it not the right time?

Ms.Yoo : Cranky is my regular. So, I don't have a problem, I guess. Shoot out.

Dr.Ban smiled and aligned the visitor's seat facing her bed, as he calmly started.

Dr.Ban : I recall your words, that it was not long since you were enrolled in the orphanage. Do you remember anything more about it? Like, how did you end up there or even just the name of it?

Ms.Yoo : How do you think we would have ended up in an orphanage?

Dr.Ban : Right, my bad, I was careless and insensitive. I apologize.

Ms.Yoo : You had a long day. I can cut some slack.

Dr.Ban : (-smiles-) Thank you.

The psychiatrist couldn't be more proud that even though the environmental impact had been of poor quality, Ms.Yoo grew up to be very compassionate and a kind human being.

Even without the right words, the teenager was witty enough to catch the concerns behind his phrase. And rightly answered him.

Ms.Yoo : Although it's hazy, I do remember living with our father. But then one casual morning, we left for school oblivious that we would never return to same place that we called home.

From school in the evening, they were directly taken to the hospital to identify a certain dead body as their father's. Overnight, the Yoo siblings were declared orphans and homed at the funeral ground of the hospital.

A few looked at them in pity. Few even cursed.

"Your father killed three people!"

"He is a terrible human being."

"Why did he even leave you two?"

She remembered those moments vividly in her memories, as she calmly narrated them to Dr.Ban.

Ms.Yoo : At that age, I couldn't comprehend those words. Instead of erasing these memories, I kept them alive. So that one day when I gain the maturity, I could understand the meaning.

The psychiatrist silently sympathized with the little girl, speaking her painful story with a straight face. Just how traumatizing it had been for her, he could only imagine.

Ms.Yoo : I am sixteen now. And I still don't know, what definition or grounds did they have, to call my father, a murderer.

Why doesn't it make sense to her? Why was he never a bad person, who could kill people, anywhere in her reminiscence? Why does she remember him as the kindest soul to ever exist?—these many questions mocked her everyday as she recalled those detrimental mouths.

As much as he felt horrible to quiz her more on her stings, Dr.Ban reminded himself that the questions were necessary only to help her. Henceforth, he placed another question mark before her, hoping to find a clue.

Dr.Ban : What about your mother?

Ms.Yoo : I don't even remember her face. Or shall I say, I never saw it to begin with. Appa would always steer away from the conversation, telling us that we have a grandmother back in his country home.

The psychiatrist grew attentive towards the grandmother topic as she could reveal very less to no information about her last time. The only relative, everyone hoped, was still alive.

Ms.Yoo : But we never met her too. He would say she is upset with him and doesn't want to see him yet. And that, once he manages to earn good, he will take us to her and brag about all his achievements. Apparently, that day never arrived.

Dr.Ban : Ah... Who took you to the orphanage after?

Ms.Yoo : I don't exactly recall that. But, it might've been the police. They couldn't find our grandmother, hence we were dropped at Angel Home. The orphanage.

Dr.Ban : I see.

Dr.Ban seemed engrossed and quiet, while Ms.Yoo had her own curiosities rambling her mind. She hesitantly voiced it out.

Ms.Yoo : Did... did you find Ji Han Oppa?

______

Pt.2 - Anytime Tomorrow.

Spoiler : Dan-Minie might meet tomorrow. 😌
Song Credit : On My Way by Alan Walker, Farruko and Sabrina Carpenter.

A/N : Anyone who is confused why we are reading about the Yoo Siblings.
It is because, they are a part of the plot that Dr.Ban is surrounded with.
And so are Jimin and DanHwa.
(Was that a spoiler too?😬)

If you forgot, I mentioned this in the very beginning, that Dr.Ban is equally important as Jimin and Dan Hwa. And will have a big amount of screentime like the other two mains.
It might look separate, but they are all interlinked.
And that is why it is a fable of 'three mortals'.

Hope you understand and stick around. :)

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