Phobia definition: Fear of people or society

I stared at the back corner of the wall, allowing the pattern of diamonds and crosses to mesmerize me. My stomach growled as I remained frozen on my bed, the covers hugging me tightly and warming me in face of the chilly draft. There wasn't much to really eat in the house minus a loaf of bread, some leftover fettuccine alfredo, and whatever was left of the many fruits I had bought last month. I should probably go to the store. But I don't think I can do it. The last time I drove to the store, I barely made it out alive and I wasn't about to go through the experience again.

I curled up in bed after a while, thinking of the things that I needed. Shower soap. Paper towels. New clothes. Some bagels. Eggs. Milk. Lemons, oranges, apples, and pears. Carrots and zucchinis. Laundry detergent. And some other things I probably wasn't thinking of. I did need them, but I couldn't go and get them. Not with so many people lurking around outside at the store. Staring at me. Bearing holes into my neck. Watching my every single move and waiting to see if I make a mistake. Judging me silently as I pick out certain brands of yogurt or for buying chocolate ice cream. Contemplating some scheme to steal my money.

My stomach churned and pulled into a tight knot as I thought about what I would have to do once I got to the store. Once I stepped out of my car, I was vulnerable to pretty much everyone.

I don't know if I can stand that.

I should probably go to the store. I need some nourishment besides leftover noodles. I really...really should go. But I just can't. I just can't do it! Never! Never again!