*HEYO! Got our yearbooks on Friday and I swear they get more and more disappointing every year. They didn't even wait till the last day either. Whatever here's a new story with more shit, T/W mention of cutting, Alfred's POV*

I stayed the night at Matthew's House but I didn't sleep. How could I when I was busy worrying over him?

He woke up pretty early considering what had happened the day before.

I was sitting at the island in the middle of his kitchen when he came in.

"Alfred, where's my razor?" he was more jittery than usual. He was bouncing on the balls of his heels, tapping the door frame, just looking impatient in general.

"you don't shave." I said, idly taking a sip of my coffee.

"And how do you know that? Maybe I just never told you because I didn't think it was your business."

"Matthew I know you don't shave. You know how? Because you always tell me how you don't get why people bother shaving. And because you have legitimately no stubble."

He knew I was onto him but he wasn't giving in.

"Well why would I be looking for my razor if I didn't shave?" I could practically see him sweating.

"I don't know Matt, you wanna show me something?" he gulped but still continued to deny it.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I put down my coffee and made my way over to where he stood at the door, "I saw your wrists Mattie. Why didn't you tell me?"

Matt opened his mouth but no words came out, so I continued.

"I could've helped you, I've done research, I know what to do, I've read up on this kind of stuff but I can't help you if you don't tell me."

At this point we were both holding back tears, so I opened my arms and he leaned into the hug, crying onto my chest.

"Next time you want to cut just tell me okay? I read somewhere that holding ice helps, but if you ever get even the smallest urge you need to come to me so that I can get a tub of ice cream and we can be sad together.

He nodded and and sniffles a bit.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled away to check it.

"It's Gilbert." he said. He wiped his eyes and handed me his phone. I took it and read the messages.

There were a bunch from yesterday and a few missed calls.

*bold Is Prussia *

Matt are you okay?

Missed call from Gilbert

I'm really sorry I didn't know he would do that

Please answer me I'm really worried

Missed call from Gilbert

Missed call from Gilbert

So on and so on.

This is Alfred

Alfred thank god

Is he okay?

He's fine now

But I don't want him talking to you anymore.

What?

I don't want him talking to anyone who knows that thing

After that I heard my own phone buzz. It was Gilbert.

Please man let me explain

It'll be easier in person

I understand why you don't want me around Matthew but at least let me talk to you

Matt looked at me with a questioning look.

"Mattie, you go get some rest and I'm gonna handle this. I'll be back in a few."

He nodded and headed back to his room.

Fine

Where

The bar where we first met

15 minutes

If you're a second late I'll leave

Thank you so much Alfred

You won't regret this

I better not

_________________
*Prussia's POV*

When I got there I saw Alfred leaning against the wall with a cold expression on his face.

I could tell that he wasn't going to be convinced easily.

It was understandable of course, he had left his brother in my care for a few hours and he went back crying and beaten up by someone in my house.

Even I wouldn't want Ludwig going back after that. (If someone could manage to beat up West that is)

I had to try to explain myself though, even if he wouldn't listen.

"Alfred." I gave him a court nod as I aprouched him.

He stared me down and nodded in general acknowledgement.

We went inside and sat down at the bar counter and he asked the bartender for a beer.

There was a moment of awkward silence as the drink was set on the table.

"It's on me." he said as he slid the beer over to me, "Now start talking."

I cautiosly took a sip of the beer and set it back down.

"After the movie we were walking around and talking, and he got a text. He got super freaked out about it but he didn't tell me what it was. He asked if he could stay at my place and he insisted even after I told him we had a visitor."

"The text was from me. I told him not to come home because our parents were there, I know how Matt ended up in your house. I want to know how he ended ip in your house."

Okay, getting straight to the point then.

"Well, Ca-" Alfred cut me off.

"Say his name and I leave."

Oh my god this guy must have been like the worst human in the world to mattie.

"Well he was a family friend. But I swear he's never done something like that before! I didn't know he would! My brother and I never really liked him because he was always kinda rude but we never knew he was capable of doing something like that to someone.

"When Matt saw him he froze up. And then he started calling Matt his toy or some shit, and saying that he knew Matt missed him. Then he tried to touch Matt's cheek and Matt backed away. I tried to ask what was happening but I kept getting cut off. Then he asked if Matt thought he was going to hurt him then slammed him into the wall and started screaming at him.

"He called Matt his...his hoe then pulled his hair and dropped him on the ground and started kicking him. I finally managed to pull him away."

At this point Alfred was seething with rage, understandably too. I was seeing with rage when it happened as well.

"I told him to get out and not come back or I'd call the police. After he left I brought Matt upstairs and let him stay in my bed. In the morning he ran off when I tried to talk to him."

Alfred cooled down a bit and looked down at our feet. "Did you try to touch him? In the morning I mean."

"I put my hand on his shoulder if that's what you mean?"

Alfred nodded, not looking up, "Yeah he wouldn't like that, he was probably having a panic attack."

What?!

"Panic attack?! He gets panic attacks?!"

"Yeah. He got one after he first met you at this bar, passed out around the corner." he said, finally looking at me.

"Holy shit. I did that?"

Alfred shook his head, "No, I'm pretty sure I did. I probably said some dumb, drunk thing calling you his boyfriend or some shit." he paused a bit then continued, "He's not usually that sensitive about it but I think because he had only just met you he was more affected."

I nodded and took a sip of my beer.

Jesus. If I'd known he was having a panic attack I wouldn't have asked for his number. Maybe if I hadn't he wouldn't have had to see Caleb.

"I don't think you realize the mental health issues you signed up for when you asked him out. Panic attacks are only the beginning of it." Alfred said, as I set the beer down again.

"That guy really messed him up and now he believes that everyone is going to hurt him."

"What happened? All I know is from Ca-his side and I'm quite hesitant to believe anything he says now."

"He was Mattie's ex boyfriend. We were all super happy at first because even back then he was pretty shy. But after like a year he started getting violent, yelling at Matthew for no reason, always being pissed off at him, constantly ditching on him when they were meant to hang out, putting him down. Then the hitting started. The first time it was just a slap, then a punch, and it kept getting worse and worse, and for three years Matt put up with it and tried to convince himself that he loved him.

"It wasn't until Matt was 17 and he found out he had been cheating on him when he finally broke it off. Now he's got what's called Philophobia. He's terrified of falling in love and being hurt again, he hardly ever leaves the house and just last night ai found out that he's been cutting, and who knows how long that's been going on for."

Oh my god

I didn't even know someone could be that damaged. I can't even imagine how horrible that must have been for Matthew.

"I'm so sorry, that's must be awful."

"Don't apologise, he hates being pitied. What he needs though, is someone to show him that not everyone is like that thing. I was hoping that you would be that person for him."

I nodded dutifully, "I won't let you down, Alfred. I'll make sure he never feels unloved again. I swear it on my life.

*Dang that was longer than I expected. I'm actually super proud of this chapter though. Like I think it came out really good cause I love deep shit. Can't wait for next chapter.