VIII.

I don't believe in second chances. People were only given one chance to prove themselves and when it's wasted, there's only one reason. It's not meant for you.

Why give people second chances? You're just giving them license to hurt and disappoint you. They don't ever matter, people never change.

Why wasn't my father given a chance to live?

Why wasn't my brother given a chance to finish high school, go to a well-known university to study medicine?

Why didn't my mother gave my father a chance to love her?

And why didn't he give me a chance to love him?

I held my chest that still had weights and I tried to inhale a few breaths, trying to regain my normal breathing pattern but I had a difficulty in doing so. I slammed my hand on the locker in frustration, creating a loud noise.

What the hell is happening to me? I thought that I'd overcome this... disorder. Even though it's utterly against my will, Tora brought me to a psychiatrist, doctor, therapist - because they noticed that I had changed drastically after Dad and Nii-san's death... and what happened to my first love.

I'd responded to treatments and medications for quite a while and I stopped because I thought that I was fine now. I have been fine... until what happened earlier.

Tora would throw a fit if she ever discovered what happened. And she'll drown me in medicines again... I can't allow that.

My breath hitched after I had finished my thought. No! I don't want to take multiple medicines in a row, not again!

"Kinomi," I heard a soft voice called out my name. And I immediately knew whom that voice belong to so I didn't bother to look up and meet Aoi's gaze. Her tone was serious, and it was proof that she referred to me without honorifics.

I took a seat at the bench in between the lockers, wiping away the sweat on my forehead using my uniform's sleeve.

"What?" I mustered up my nonchalant tone and poker face.

"I saw what happened," She told me as she went to the spot where her locker was located, which was across from mine. From behind me, I listened to the metal clanking as she opened and slammed her locker shut, as if she took something out from it.

I cocked an eyebrow even though she didn't see it. "What happened?"

"Was it because of you-know-who?" She continued to ask me, and I knew who she was talking about but still, I played the dense game.

"Who? Voldemort?"

I was being sarcastic and I'd expected for her to make a snide remark or just chuckle but none came. Instead, I heard her footsteps coming closer and she sat beside me, the room was dead silent I wanted to add some cricket sound for effect.

"I never thought that you'd watched Harry Potter," She told me which made me frown in embarrassment.

"Shut up."

"Take these," She mumbled as she handed me a bottle of... wait, anti-depressant pills?

I scowled at the girl with midnight blue hair and stood up, looking down upon her. "I thought I told you to throw away that crap?" I hissed and curled my fist into tight balls. I wanted to punch her.

"Don't go pouring out your anger on me, Kinomi. I'm just concerned about you." Aoi stared at me with blank eyes, not the least moved by my tone that was full of poison.

"Who told you to be concerned about me?" I demanded with an arched brow and put a hand on my hip. "Who are you, anyway?"

Furious by my choice of words, she stood up and glared at me. "I was your friend since our early years of middle school." She declared, matching my intense gaze. "Until now. You can push anyone away from your life but I won't budge. Not everyone's the same, Kinomi. People will come and enter your life; some may leave and some may stay, and they are the ones worth to cherish. Because they are the ones who will love you unconditionally even though you're difficult to love."

My eyes were wide when those statements reached my ears and I haven't noticed the tears that were flowing freely past my cheeks, staining them. I wiped my tears harshly with my hands, cursing myself for showing weakness in front of her. My weakness caused fuel to add to my anger and it was proof with the glare on my face.

"IF I'M SO DIFFICULT TO LOVE, THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO DETERMINED TO STAY? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU GET A MONTHLY PAY FOR STAYING IN MY LIFE, HAH?" I shouted and I just realized that I couldn't handle my anger anymore. I stomped my way to Aoi and harshly grabbed the collar of her uniform but she didn't show any sign of fear or resistance. Instead, her lips formed a small smile.

"I never had siblings, Kinomi... and my parents were always away so I barely knew them. I'm not like you who's so attached to her family so I don't know how it feels to lose them... but now I know... when I almost lost you. You're like the sister I never had. And I promised myself not to let you do the same mistake again."

"KYAAA~ don't you think he's so cool, Yamaguchi-kun?" I heard an annoying high pitched shriek which made me snap out of my trance. I raised my gaze to look at a random girl with sparkling eyes as she talked to Yamaguchi, who was obviously feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

"Yeah, he is..." Yamaguchi smiled with a sweat-drop.

I sighed then made my way towards them, stopping behind the girl.

"Hey Yamaguchi," I called out.

"Mikazuki-san?" My name escaped from Yamaguchi's mouth in a confused tone but what confused me is the sight of the girl flinching and trembling at the mention of my name.

She slowly craned her neck and it was also fast when she averted her gaze. "Mikazuki... Mikazuki Kinomi?!" She exclaimed, her body trembling which I assume in fear.

I tilted my head to the side, intrigued at the fact that she knew who I was.

"So?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

She backed away immediately at my confirmation and she literally knelt down as if she was begging for me to spare her life, much to our bewilderment and confusion.

"I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I WON'T TALK TO TSUKISHIMA-KUN AGAIN! PLEASE! WAAAH!" She bawled her eyes out and without warning, she ran away even though the sign on the wall says that running around the hallways aren't allowed.

Silence embraced us for a few moments then I blinked a few times, registering what just happened a few moments ago. I shifted my gaze at freckled male, who was still not recovering.

"What just happened?"

"Who knows..." He murmured absentmindedly.

"And what did she meant by she won't talk to Tsukishima again?" I asked after I had recalled her words. Tch, him again. Why was it always about him?

Yamaguchi smiled sheepishly then scratched the back of his head. "Rumor has it that you and Tsukki were..." He trailed off, clearing his throat. "were a thing."

I arched an eyebrow in question. "A thing?"

He nodded. "Yeah... you know? A sort of... mutual understanding?"

"What?" I snort laughed, amused. "We all know that's bullshit. Where did you get that?"

"I guess when you gave him that strawberry shortcake the other day. People started to assume you two were-"

"So the girl earlier likes him and she thought that I would hurt her? That's a huge misunderstanding." I cut him off with a scoff then shook my head in disappointment.

"Actually, Tsukki often gets a confession which he only casually rejects... that came out as a routine for him. Don't you ever notice how he's so popular among the girls?"

I stared at him blandly. "Am I supposed to laugh now?"

"That's no joke, Mikazuki-san!" He protested, chuckling. "Don't you also think that Tsukki is good-looking?"

"Nah, definitely not." I said with a dismissive wave of my hand.

"Eh? But I thought that you also like him?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, you did gave him a box of strawberry shortcake and it also happened to be his favorite." Yamaguchi reminded.

"Oh... um, about that..."

Yamaguchi grinned at me knowingly. "I don't blame you for being shy but you can tell me, Mikazuki-san! I won't tell him!" He inched his face closer, his eyes gleaming with excitement. I don't think he would ever keep that word.

I backed away because I was extremely feeling uncomfortable to the way he's acting. "I DON'T LIKE HIM!" I exclaimed in frustration.

"Who, Mikazuki-san?" I heard a calm voice from behind which made me freeze on my tracks.

Goddamn, my jerk radar is getting a little rusty.

"Ah, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi beamed and walked right pass me, and I felt my breath hitch once again at the thought of seeing Tsukishima. I might get a panic attack again if ever! "Where have you been?"

"A girl from another class called me." He informed Yamaguchi with his ever so famous nonchalant, bored tone. I kept still in my position, his voice giving my body the automatic reaction to stop motioning. I listened attentively to their conversation.

"Ah, I see! Another confession, wasn't it?"

"Yeah,"

What the...? Just at the thought of another girl confessing to him, my heart beat started to accelerate. God, why do those girls like a Class-A jerk like Tsukishima? Mou!

"I'm so envious, Tsukki! Why don't you teach me your ways?" His excited voice rang through my ears and a grin was evident on Yamaguchi's tone. "Oh Mikazuki-san, why are facing behind us?" For some reason, his attention diverted to me and he asked me in a perplexed manner.

I don't want to see you.

"Ah, Mikazuki-san... we have a practice match later. Would you care to watch?" Tsukishima asked me with that usual tone that's torn in between being polite and sarcastic. I don't quite understand this guy's intention sometimes.

"As if I care. And I have work later..."

Tsukishima seemed to hear what I said. "Oh, is that so? Is work more important?"

"Do I have to choose? Of course it would be work." I rolled my eyes.

"Really? Then, let me put it this way," He trailed off and I couldn't fight the urge to peer over my shoulder to glance at his impassive expression. "Work or me?"

That question slapped me across the heart. Of course it would be work! But I couldn't bring myself to voice out my thoughts. It felt as if his burning stare set fire to my throat, making it dry.

Then all of a sudden, Tsukishima chuckled. "I'm just joking, Mikazuki-san. Don't take everything I say seriously." His lips formed a smile. An irritating one. "But you're free to attend and cheer for me. Although I doubt you'd do that."

This guy is absolutely full of himself!

"Do you know why I doubt you?" Tsukishima asked me after a while and I no longer sense the smug aura around him.

"Because I hate you."

Tsukishima chuckled once again. "You never fail to make me smile, Mikazuki-san, maybe that's why I like you."

I felt my cheeks heat up at the statement and I was afraid that he could see steam gushing out of me. I gritted my teeth in embarrassment.

"Shut up, you jerk!" I almost yelled at him.

"I'd thought that you'd rather cheer for your teacher."

My anger subsided and it was replaced with and confusion. "What?"

"Oh, am I wrong? You're from Kitagawa Daiichi, right?"

My eyes squinted in suspicion. "So?"

"What do you think most of the graduates from that middle school-"

"Wait, you can't mean that your opponent is...?" I cut him off with eyes dilated in bewilderment, anxiousness and fear.

Now I know what he meant about my teacher. His team is going to have a practice match with Karasuno and there's a high chance of us meeting. Meeting him means reopening the wounds that had healed from just months ago... Gods, I should have transferred to Tokyo instead!

No! I don't want to see him!

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Let us all take a moment of silence and appreciate the presence of the ooc tsukki //cries ;.;

Btw, I'm changing the title of this story. I'm still not even halfway through and I really, really wanted to end this. I feel like this story doesn't progress and it sucked bigtime. Gomenasai, minna-san. But even though this story suck, I still love you Tsukki. ;.;