XXXII.

Kinomi.

The cold breeze brushed my face, blowing my brown hair along with it. It made me snuggle inside his jacket some more while Tsukishima and I rest our arms on the railings of the rooftop as we stare at the darkness that surrounded us. He had finished the story of his past.

"Wow, what an asshole." I commented quietly.

Tsukishima scoffed, "Yeah, I know. That's why I apologized."

I hummed in response, taking his point. I didn't realize that such a forgettable girl was a major part of Tsukishima's past. Even though he wouldn't consider that, I think he let out all of his frustrations on her.

I craned my neck to see his reaction. He crinkled his nose as if he was deep in thought. Then he sighed.

"I regret hurting her. But I'm tired of it, you know? Rejecting her constantly..."

"I'm sure she is, too,"

He looked at me in a quizzical manner, "Then, why can't she just give up?"

I shrugged then smiled at him, "Because I'm already out of the picture."

He averted his gaze, looking back at the half moon, "Then what do you call this?"

"Temporarily together."

He snorted, then for some reason inched himself so that our arms made contact, "Really, huh..."

"You know, I don't really know Yumi personally but I can tell that she's nice and smart."

"Yeah, too nice for my liking. It was honestly cringeworthy."

"That's what I thought as well the first time." I trailed off, remembering her strange antics that I didn't understand that made sense now. "That must be why she's so weird around me. Because she's crazy about you."

"She's just weird like that."

This rewarded him a little nudge from me. He was young back then, and so are me and Yumi. We made a lot of mistakes in the past and wished that we could have done what we knew now. But what's important right now is this man in front of me admitting and accepting his mistakes, and me admitting my mistakes. But we still get vulnerable when acknowledging our own feelings.

I turned serious, "You both were young back then. I don't think that you were into those kinds of things before. And besides..." I trailed off, carefully choosing the right words to say. I turned my attention back at the evening sky, "what happened to your brother impacted your perception not only in volleyball but towards life as well. Sure, you could have chosen your words and actions better but it's unfair to think that every person should know what to say and do." I didn't get a response or a reaction from him so I turned my head to him to see him looking at me with an unreadable expression, "What?"

Tsukishima just shook his head then smirked, "Who are you?"

I glared at him to which he just lightly chuckled, "Just kidding, Berry. You just took me by surprise, that's all."

I arched an eyebrow, "Is that a compliment?"

"If you want it to be."

"What if we never met? Would you have given her a chance again?"

He eyebrows furrowed in dismay. "What kind of question is that?"

"It's only a what if." I rolled my eyes, then smiled at him, "What do you think?"

He didn't even blink, "No. Because she could never distract and confuse me so much like you do. I wouldn't have realized my mistakes with her and..." He fiddled with his fingers, a habit that I noticed whenever he's nervous, "I would never know that a moment like this existed."

"Wow..." I just said, at a loss for words.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, "You really enjoy embarrassing me, huh?"

"Yeah," I grinned, "Aren't you going to ask me?"

"What?"

"What if we never met?"

"No."

"Because you already know?"

"Because what ifs doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything. All they do is make you have regrets." He lectured, raising an eyebrow in question, "Why? Are you having second thoughts about me?"

"I'll have to talk to Keima, Shinji or Makoto to find out."

Tsukishima smirked. "Yeah, go on and cheat on me. If you can."

My mouth gaped open, too flabbergasted to think of a come back.

He knew that I was only teasing, but there's something off about him but I can't quite put a finger on it for now. I wanted to avert my gaze but then I would lose. There he stared at me and this is what I still couldn't get used to, the shift in his expression and how I couldn't get an ounce of idea on what's going inside his mind. What is he thinking? I wonder if he's feeling tired yet? Or does he still want to be here with me? Is he still in love with me at this moment?

"You're doing it again..." He muttered.

"W-what?" I blinked in surprise.

"You're looking at me as if you're trying to see through me."

"Is it bad that I want to know what you're thinking right now?"

His eyes turned more solemn at the question before his gaze dropped down to my lips then back to my eyes, making my blood climb up to my face. Then he looked away.

"Don't worry about it."

I gulped before I looked away, tucking a loose stray hair behind my ear. "O-okay..." Shit, why did I stutter? Am I suddenly nervous? We already kissed earlier, so why do I still feel nervous about the thought of kissing him?

Before I could put my hand down at the previous action, he caught it which made my flushed face look back at him in surprise.

"Tsukishima—"

"I'm thinking of how irritated I am with you still calling me by my last name..." He trailed off, tightening his hold on my hand and inching himself closer to me at the same time, "and how I badly want to remind you of who I am in your life."

Before another thing could lead to another, my phone suddenly rang, making Tsukishima release my hand so that I could fish it out of my pocket to see—Kuroo fucking Tetsurou, what good timing you have there! It better be fucking urgent—

"Kinomi-chan, where are you?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

"Oh, nothing." He said in a mocking sing-song tone, "It's just that some managers reached out to me saying that you still haven't returned to the room after excusing yourself to the rest room."

"I'm taking a shit."

"For thirty minutes?"

"What? It's possible." I shrugged.

"Look, I know you're with your boyfriend right now because I already checked Karasuno's room and he's the only one gone there. But just to remind you, it's almost lights out and the coaches will sweep the hallways and classrooms to check if the students are in their designated rooms." He reminded, which made me shift my gaze at Tsukishima who was watching the sky, but what Tetsurou said next made me instantly feel flustered, "So if I were you, I'll keep it PG and just kiss him good night and—"

"Alright, I get it! Asshole!" I cut him off, attracting Tsukishima's attention. I just heard Tetsurou chuckle on the other line before I abruptly ended the call.

"What?" Tsukishima drawled.

"N-nothing. We should head back because it's almost lights out."

"Okay."

"Okay." I repeated, then we started to walk ahead to the door.

I looked down at his hand then decided against the idea. I always struck him as the type who isn't fond of skin ships. I wasn't fond of it as well because they're so corny for me, but shit, why do I feel like I threw all of those perceptions out the window?

"You want to hold hands, Berry?" Tsukishima suddenly asked, which made me flinch.

"U-uh..."

Without waiting for my reply, Tsukishima suddenly took my hand to intertwine our fingers, which made me snap my head at his face who was still as deadpan as ever as he watched the dark hallways.

"You know, if you want something, you should at least tell me. They say that the key to a healthy relationship is communication."

"Mmm," I hummed in agreement, still focusing on his slightly cold hand. How did he endure the cold in the rooftop for that long?

When we reached the fourth floor, we stopped just before the corner to my classroom. Tsukishima released my hand so that I could take the black jacket off then reach it out to him, "Thanks."

He just took the jacket, letting out a small smile in the process, "Black suits you better than red."

I scoffed, "Do your best tomorrow, Tsukishima."

But before we could move, we heard footsteps coming from the opposite hallway, and as reflex, Tsukishima snagged my arm and led me to the nearest room. Then he flicked the lights off, and I would have been deemed blind if it weren't for the light from the moon on the small window above his head. I don't know what room this is but I think it's the boys' rest room. We stayed still until the footsteps subsided, and I glanced back at Tsukishima who had me cornered against the wall, and he looked back at me, too.

He smirked, "I guess this is the part where we should kiss, huh?"

My eyes dilated, "H-huh?"

He leaned down and I expected him to give me a long kiss but I was rather surprised when he kissed my nose. I closed my eyes at the action and when he pulled away, we stared at each other for a few seconds. We just waited for each other, for one of us to make the next move. Then he pecked my lips, any lighter and I wouldn't have felt it. He lifted my chin, as if asking for permission before planting his lips on mine again, lightly. It feels tingly, and I feel lightheaded. My chest hurts but it feels good. I don't know how to describe the feeling but I like it.

"Keep it PG, Kinomi-chan," Tetsurou's voice rang through my mind. Oh, fuck off, dude.

Then he started to brush his lips against mine. Lightly at first. "Kei—" Then he went deep.

He didn't listen to me. But I didn't mind. I just wanted him to kiss me until there's nothing left on our minds. Just the thought of me and him. Only his smile for me and my smile for him. Only my lips that's meant for him. He pulled away, our foreheads and noses touching as we were both panting for air.

"I can't breathe..." I whispered, looking into his starry eyes.

"Good."

I will let him pull away if he wants to. But he kissed me again and took my hands to wrap it around his neck. But shit, Tsukishima Kei, when did I start to need you so much? Why now? Why only now? It's making me weak. I feel cold yet at the same time warmed up. I couldn't care about anything. Then he suddenly stopped.

"Maybe I should do this more often..." He muttered in between his slightly irregular breaths, but I still heard it loud and clear. "So that you'll call me by my first name."

I didn't sleep so well that night. I ended up with pretty dark circles under my eyes and a disheveled brain because it couldn't think of anything else aside from what happened between us last night. The managers even asked me if I'm feeling okay because they said I'm all red as a cherry.

"—kazuki-san. Mikazuki-san!" Nekomata-san called out for my attention, which made me snap out of my trance. I looked up to see him and the whole team looking at me. "I said, how's our standing with Karasuno yesterday?"

"U-um, one moment," I flipped through pages of my notebook to find the record of my analysis and results of the matches against Karasuno. "This will be our third set today with Karasuno... we played two sets with them yesterday with the scores 25-17 and 25-19, both our wins."

"In other words, Karasuno will go on full force so that they can try to take back a set. They'll most likely use their weird quicks so watch out for them and show 'em what you've got!" Nekomata-san encouraged.

"Right!" The team said in unison. Tetsurou glanced at me in a weird manner before the sound of the whistle beckoned them to get back into the court.

I sat on the chair along with the other coaches and watched their match. There's no point in dawdling about what happened between Tsukishima and me right now because I have to focus on the match right in front of me. I flipped to a blank page and wrote down my analysis regarding the weird quick attack of the first year duo.

Kageyama and the Hinata's weird quick is still the same from the last time I saw it... but Nekoma is the type of team to adapt and quickly follow-up to an attack once they've got the hang of it. And my point was proven when Lev managed to kill the ball when the Hinata spiked it.

Hinata looked shock to find out that their ultimate weapon can be stopped... so if he's not good at blocking, receiving or serving... what's his purpose in the team? Unless... he desires to insert his consciousness in the spike? What would happen?

At the sudden realization, I glanced back at Hinata with wide eyes, then back at my notebook, letting out a smirk. It's hard... but not impossible. And if they manage to pull that off, then it's going to be one of the most formidable weapons they could use against us. Well, I guess they're going to fight over it at first seeing as Kageyama's too bossy to let Hinata seek what he wants. I'll leave them to their issues because I'll look forward to their upgraded quick. Not only that... but I'm sure this will influence the other members to improve as well.

"Mikazuki-san, you seem to be enjoying yourself in there." Nekomata-san chuckled when he saw me smirking to myself, making me look up and smile widely at him.

"I'm just excited for what's about to happen, Nekomata-san."

The training camp will continue in two weeks because we still have to catch up with our school works. By 3:30 pm, it was time to call it a day and we finished cleaning up. Karasuno still has a five hour long drive back to Miyagi. Karasuno team has been prepping to leave, and they are bidding their temporary farewells to their rivals. I approached Tsukishima who was with Yamaguchi by the side of the bus.

"Hey, guys," I greeted.

"Ah, osu, Mikazuki-san," Yamaguchi greeted back with a small smile.

"Hey—"

"AH! Mikazuki-san! Osu!" Tsukishima was cut off by Hinata's loud voice out of nowhere, "You're the  manager of Nekoma now?"

"Ah, yeah. Long story." I said.

"And you even transferred schools in the middle of the school year? Wow!"

"I don't see anything good about it though..."

"Hey, if it isn't Mikazuki-san! Osu!" Nishinoya-san interjected, "I see that you two have finally tied the knot, huh?!"

"We're not married, Nishinoya-san." Tsukishima deadpanned.

"Who cares? That's where it always ends up, right?"

Tsukishima just gawked at him in response.

"Wait, really?" Hinata said as if it was the most shocking thing in the world. Tsukishima just remained quietly irritated at his teammates.

"I know right!" Tanaka-san grinned, "How come he gets a girl without any effort?" Tanaka-san wondered aloud. Oh, you have no idea...

"Excuse us..." Tsukishima took my hand and led us on the other side of the bus.

"Sorry I've made a commotion back there. I just wanted to say goodbye." I said, scratching the back of my head.

He sighed, "They're bound to notice sooner or later anyway."

"I'm just so excited to see your team improve, you know? I've made a lot of analyses today and the changes are drastic. Especially you. If you could train a bit more—"

"I'm sorry, Kinomi, but you're seeing too much on things." Tsukishima cut me off with a smile I cannot recognize. "Don't go too far on your predictions because you'll only end up disappointed."

My mouth gaped at what he said. He only calls me by my first name whenever he's serious. I didn't even have the time to reply when Yamaguchi suddenly appeared, "Tsukki, we have to go now."

"Okay." Then Tsukishima gave me a small smile, "See you soon."

"Ah, yeah... see you soon."

I watched Tsukishima walk away from me and left me with the reminder of what happened to Akiteru-san's volleyball career. Shit, I was too excited I forgot about that... but... if he keeps up with this...

Karasuno's bus departed and I was still left with those thoughts, when suddenly Tetsurou came by beside me.

"What's the matter, Kinomi-chan? Did you two finally tickled each other's Pikachu?" He asked me, obviously trying to piss me off.

"Fuck off, douche lord." I walked away from him the scheming captain.

Lev, unfortunately, heard what Tetsurou said, "Kuroo-san, what did you mean by tickle each other's—"

"You don't have to know, Lev." Yaku-san said.

"Kinomi-chan!" Inuoka-kun called, giving me a thumbs-up, "Thanks for your hardwork today!" He beamed at me like the cinnamon roll he is.

I gave him a small smile in return, "You, too, Inuoka-kun." Then I turned my attention back at Kenma-kun, who was busy with his phone, "Kenma-kun, are you going to go home with us?"

"Ah, yeah..." He replied. He didn't even spare me a glance.

But amidst of all this crowd, Tsukishima is still the one person that's glued on my mind, especially now with his current mindset... if only there's something I could do about it.