XIII.

They say that missing someone you once had is like taking off something you wore for a very long time. You felt like it was still there... but it wasn't.

A complete family was present at the moment, the chairs surrounding the dining table were all occupied. A decent meal was served in front of her, in front of them. Silence was no longer her usual companion as she ate dinner, it got paired up with voices... voices with various emotions lingering at the tip.

"Kinomi-chan, are you sure that's enough food for you? Here, I'll fill up your plate." Kina, the light of the Tsukishima household, said as her chop sticks took various meat and vegetables then distributed them to Kinomi's bowl. "Don't be shy, dear. Just tell me if you want seconds. You need to eat more, you know! You're so thin and pale!" she would have smiled if Kei didn't opened his mouth.

"You even said it, Mom. She's literally bone and flesh, I'm surprised you didn't break your arms playing volleyball-ah!" Before he could finish his sentence, the teased girl stepped on his foot hard from under the table.

"Is there something wrong, Kei?" his mother asked.

The asked boy shook his head then glanced at the brunette with a glare, on which the latter only ignored and continued to eat her share like nothing happened.

I could say the same to you, jerk face.

"I'm sorry but I just have to ask this, Kinomi-chan," Kina started which made Kinomi's attention snap to the former. She only nodded meekly for her to continue. Kina's smile stretched. "Now that I think about it... you are the first girl that Kei has brought home..." Yeah, it was, which wasn't a good impression if she ever was his girlfriend, given that he carried her because she fainted. "and I was wondering if..."

"Please, Mom..." Kei interjected with a snort. "The answer is obvious. Have you ever seen a guy carry his girlfriend to his house?" he took a bite of his food. His question was sarcastic, however, it brought a different meaning to Kina for her face brightened.

"So, Kinomi-chan really is your girlfriend?" She asked with an excited tone.

Akito, the head of the Tsukishima household, just smiled at his wife's bubbly attitude.

On the other hand, Kei choked on his own food, coughing nonstop as he covered his mouth with a napkin. He took a sip of his water, his cheeks were slightly flushed as he did so. Kinomi felt the same happened to her own cheeks. She was about to condradict his mother's assumption when Kei spoke up.

"Of course not." he denied with a frown.

"Oh, really, now? You know, I've always wanted a girl in the household... it's getting pretty lonely if you're the only girl in the house." she pouted.

"How so, Mom?" Akiteru asked.

Kina giggled like a school girl. "Why, someone to share my fangirl sides, of course! Right, Aki?"

Akito just chuckled in amusement whilst Kei only smirked.

"Mom, you're like, too old to--"

"Nobody's too old to fangirl."

"Oh, by the way, Mikazuki-san, do you play volleyball?" Akiteru suddenly asked.

Kinomi thought of his question for a while before nodding, then bit the tip of her chopstick, focusing her gaze on her food. "Yes, I did."

His face formed a small frown, confusion laced his expression. "You did? Don't you play anymore?"

Kinomi shook her head. "I don't have time for club activities anymore. I work part-time at my aunt's café." she explained.

"Oh, I see. What position did you played?"

"Middle blocker..."

Akiteru was amazed, he felt the urge to get to know the girl his little brother brought home. Just in case they end up together. He smiled at the idea.

"I hope this doesn't cross as offensive or anything, Kinomi-san," Akito suddenly interjected the conversation. And Kinomi's attention automatically snapped to him. "but your aunt wouldn't let you work for her... given the circumstances, right?"

She was unaware of the fact that her lips had already curled up into a smile, a sad one. "No offense taken, sensei." she reassured. "She was also against that idea. And I forced her. Since I'd been... um, under much stress, I needed some form of distraction and that must have convinced her."

The statement was off for Akito. He was confused as if her story was vague and had too many holes.

"Was volleyball not enough distraction?" he asked which made Kinomi feel cornered.

"I need to make money, sensei... to pay for my tuition and rent fees. Volleyball just wasn't worth it for me to waste my energy and time on anymore..." She explained in a meek voice.

Kei shoved food into his mouth as if he hadn't heard anything, however, he was listening to the conversation attentively.

It's a surprise that's she's been opening up to my family, not that I'm complaining, though. But I had expected otherwise.

"Where is your mother, Kinomi-san?"

Silence embraced the dining area as the question left Akito's lips. Kinomi lowered her gaze, she didn't want anyone to see her clench her teeth, which Kei didn't fail to notice.

"She's... dead."

Kei didn't know that the situation could be more awkward that it already was.

After dinner, Kina insisted Kinomi on spending the night at their home for it was already late and she lived alone in her apartment. And besides, there was no school tomorrow because it's the start of the weekend. Kinomi found no problem in the matter and she accepted the offer, however, she couldn't prevent the thought of what the jerk face would say if she ever stayed over his territory.

In the middle of reading a novel, Kei suddenly felt the need to quench his thirst. He glanced at the clock on his bedside table, signing eleven in the evening. He went downstairs to the kitchen to get a glass of water. When he was about to get back to his room, he noticed the door to their garden ajar. He went to investigate and found Kinomi sitting on the raised floor, her legs crossed comfortably as she stared at the vast night sky full of stars.

"Hey," he called out for her attention to which he succeeded on doing so. "What are you doing up at a late hour like this?"

The ghost of a smile appeared on the girl's lips, rubbing her hands against each other for warmth. She wouldn't deny the cold wind blowing once in a while, sending involuntary chills on her spine, yet she still chose to cherish this peace and quiet.

"I just wanted some fresh air." she reasoned out and shifted her gaze at the sky again.

"You might catch a cold by what you're doing, you know."

"It's okay,"

Kei frowned and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, not knowing what to say next. "Okay... just shut the door when--"

"Tsukishima," she called, craning her head to the side to give him a glance. He immediately noticed her pale and chapped lips.

He just drank water, yet he suddenly felt his throat dry once again. He swallowed. "What?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Ask it now, I'm going back to sleep."

The spirit of sleepiness hasn't visited him, to be honest.

Kinomi looked intently into his honey brown eyes, her lips pursed in a thin line before she asked. "Why didn't you left me?"

His forehead creased. "What?"

"When I fainted... you didn't thought of just leaving me on the road."

Tsukishima thought that the question was weird. "I know I'm not a nice person but I'm not that cruel to leave you sprawled out in the middle of the road."

"Then I won't thank you."

Kei smirked. "I don't expect you to."

Kinomi smirked back. They stared into each other for a few seconds before she broke the staring contest by averting her gaze to the sky.

Kei tilted his head to the side, intrigued at the fact that the girl would rather stare at the night sky than at him.

"What's so special about the sky?" he asked, sitting next to her.

"Nothing," she replied, sighing and her breath came out as a white smoke. "and that's what makes it special."

Kei arched an eyebrow in question. "Weird."

"Normal is boring." she retorted.

"Touché."

She let out a low chuckle then out of the blue, she buried her head on his lap, shifting comfortably. "I hate you but let me lay on you." she mumbled then closed her eyes.

Kei looked down at the girl with an unbelievable expression, his fingers ached to brush away the stray hairs on her face but he suppressed himself.

"I lied," she confessed, her eyes still closed.

"What?"

"My mom," she started. "She's alive. In fact, she's healthy and currently carrying my half-sibling."

"Why did you lie?"

"I thought that it didn't matter to your family because..." she trailed off and took a deep breath. "she is dead to me after all."

Kei felt his chest constrict at her statement. He doesn't have any slightest idea on how to comfort her considering the fact that he wasn't an expert when it comes to handling emotions.

"Where is she?"

"In Tokyo." she replied nonchalantly.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you hate her?"

"She killed Dad." he caught the bitterness at the tip of her voice even though she tried on keeping it nonchalant.

His eyes widened in shock but he remained silent for her to continue her tale.

"Dad and Nii-san got in a car accident, which Nii-san immediately died on the spot... and Dad... already brain dead. Mom decided to pull the plug to put him out of his misery but I knew that she did it for herself." she explained, her voice soft and weary as if she was trying her best to stay awake. "My dad and brother were the kindest men I had ever met, they didn't deserved any of this. Despite Dad knowing of the fact that Mom was cheating on him, he still remained quiet about it. He... he loved her so much that he got blinded by his own love. He got sick because of depression." she paused for a yawn. "Nii-san accompanied him to the hospital and that's when the accident happened." she opened her eyes to gauge the listener's reaction and found him dumbfounded as he looked at her. She smiled as she closed her eyes again. "My picture perfect life turned upside down in a blink of an eye. My dad and brother died, my mom cheated and my first love broke my heart before I even got the chance to confess to him. My life sure sucks, isn't it?" she chuckled, however, there was a glint of pain in it.

Kei heard something. It was the rapid beat of his heart. His heart was aching for her and he didn't know why.

By the time she finished her story, she just laid comfortably on Kei's lap, breathing steadily. It was as if she was already immune to the memory, given that she dreamed about it all the time. Or rather, her tears had already ran out.

He shifted his gaze to the sky when she spoke once again. "I wanted to be with them. It was much
better than living here with her. And so..." she brought out her hand and rolled up the sleeve of the sweater that Kina lent her, pushing her thick bracelets and displaying horizontal scars on her pulse. Kei's gaze immediately glued to it. "I'd also tried to kill my--"

"Stop. Stop talking." Kei said sternly then rolled her sleeve down. "You're smart but you're pretty stupid."

"I'm not stupid."

"You are stupid, stupid." he insisted with an eye roll. He didn't know why he was feeling grouchy. "Why did you do that?"

"I thought that I didn't have any reason to live anymore..."

"I know I may sound absolutely out of character but... life is beautiful, Mikazuki-san. You just have to look at it at a much brighter, more positive side. Did you ever think that they would be happy by what you've done? I'm sure they'd wanted you to live a whole life. It would be such a waste if--Mikazuki-san?"

Kei stopped short at his sentence when he looked back at the preached girl, her slow and steady breaths indicating that she had already dozed off.

"Geez," he sighed, scratched his head and looked around, glad that neither she nor anyone didn't get the chance to hear him say those embarrassing words. It was so much not like him.

He rubbed his face, groaning softly. He felt warmth climbing up to his cheeks. "What the hell did I just said?" he whispered to himself.

He didn't had any problem on carrying her to the flight of stairs and on the way to the guest room where she will spend the night, she's as light as a feather after all.

He took a great look at the scars on her wrist, a great evidence that she had attempted to take her life. He couldn't help but trace the lines with his finger, gazing at her pale face that seemed so at peace.

Suddenly, a single tear slid down her cheek and his fingers went to slowly wipe it away. And he realized what he just did.

With mixed emotions having their party inside him, he trudged away and flicked the switch on the wall and left the room without another sound.