A/N

Warning, this chapter includes topics such as: Depression, self-hate, and self-harm. If you or a friend are depressed and feel the need to inflict harm upon yourself, seek help.

If you dislike any of these, viewer discretion is advised.

Illumina was never very cheerful. The only gods who ever tried to be nice to him were Ice Dagger and Firebrand. But he knew better. They were just being nice. They didn't actually care. No one did. Him and Venomshank hated each other, and by that extent, Darkheart hated him too. Windforce.... hated everyone, and Ghostwalker seemed neutral with everyone. The other two... don't show up often.

So, he was often reduced to a mess when alone. He hated himself, and everyone around him. sometimes, he wished he could fade away and never be seen or heard of again. He wanted to die, do bleed out alone.

One night, he was in the Sfoth monthly meeting. "Thank you everyone, for being here." Firebrand said, politely and formally, as always. That fake calmness. The fake politeness. It disgusted Illumina and he hated it. "We're only here to see the others bicker." Darkheart said shamelessly. That stupid cheshire grin. He wanted to rip it off that dumb face of his. Illumina thought Darkheart was a joke and despised him for it. Illumina always hated jokes.

"I'm glad to be here!" Ice Dagger said, happily. His joy was real, but not only was Illumina envious of Ice Dagger's popularity and being beloved by all the Sfoth's, while he was left to rot, and that Ice Dagger, thought kind to Illumina, obviously only did it because he was terrified. "Skip to the end, I have work to do." Venomshank said, annoyed. He hated Venomshank. For everything. He was the first one to hate Illumina, and the others followed after him. He despised Venomshank.

Windforce and Ghostwalker remained silent, and Illumina stared with venom at everyone. "So, does anyone have anything to talk about? This meeting would be a waste of time-" Firebrand was interrupted by Illumina. "It already is, no matter what." Illumina wasn't in the mood, so he just stood up and left, ignoring Firebrand as he tried convincing him to sit back down. 

He teleported to his castle, which looked more like a giant tower, outfitted with so many deadly traps it could kill one of the gods, and entered his room. "Those idiots. Imbeciles, all of them. None of them know a thing about this world. None of them but me." Illumina thought, spitefully.

He grabbed a dagger. He often cut himself to calm down after dealing with those idiots. He pulled up the sleeve of his robes (correct me if it's a different clothing item) and sliced his arm a bit. It wasn't enough. He was still mad.

He cut his arm more, and more. Eventually his arm was so cut up, it looked like someone ran a cheese grater over his arm. But it wasn't enough. He rolled up his other sleeve and did this same thing to it.

After cutting it just as bad, he finally stopped. He was still annoyed, but he knew he needed to stop. Or.... did he? He didn't feel pain anymore. He didn't feel anything anymore. No one would miss him, and he had the tools to make himself finally feel satisfied. He would achieve his one dream left.

To fade away.

He would finally....

Be free.