Chapter 32. Words. Elm

The moon trembles in the sky, spilling into delirium.

No... not the moon; a round lamp... matte.

No... not in the sky; on the white ceiling. 

Delirium remains delirious.

It is inside the body of a venomous wasp, its stinger plunging deep into my veins, flowing through the blood vessels with a stinging chrome. Silver polluting the blood, albeit it's not an illusion. I'm too tangible for an undead, I can't survive like that!

No... not a wasp; a syringe.

The venom: Caleb's smell Caleb's voice, Caleb's questions.

Delirium remains delirious.

***

"Your name, demon!"

'Demon' is a rotten word. That clump of bitter darkness clings to me with sharp claws, beginning its transformation according to its internal programming. The mycelium grows deeper and deeper and I can barely aim the sharp edge of my energy to destroy it. Meanwhile, Caleb continues to throw foul words at me and it keeps getting harder to stop them.

"Tell me your name!"

"What is a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet..."

"Is your name Rose?"

"You are uneducated, Caleb. I'm quoting Shakespeare."

"I don't need Shakespeare, I need your name! Obey me, demon!"

"Don't call me demon!"

"Should I call you 'angel', then?'

"Don't call me anything! A name is time's prison! Damn humans; you tore us from The One, you created us, you gave us names and now we are enslaved with no way of achieving freedom!"

"I don't understand you. Is 'The One' what you call God?"

"The moment you called it God, it ceased to exist. It became but a meaning of the Word."

I explain without a shred of hope that I'm being understood. They have only words; simple, crude, human. How do I use words to describe what I was?

"The One is everything and everything is The One. Like the endless expanse of the blinding light filled with infinite variations of vibrations, where 'here' and 'there' are one and the same, just as how 'was' and 'will be' are meaningless in the glowing absence of time."

"Are you talking about heaven?"

"The moment you named it heaven, it ceased to exist."

"Doesn't matter. So why did you leave your heaven?"

"It denied me... denied us, just how your body denies foreign bodies simply because they are no longer a part of your own body."

"By 'us', do you mean servants of God? Fallen angels who rose up against Him?"

"U-u-u-ugh! How do you rise up against yourself? We were The One, do you not understand? Caleb's skin can't rebel against Caleb's will! Could you even imagine your erythrocytes forming a rebellion?"

"Why are you screaming?"

"I'm in pain."

***

People are dumb, cruel and primitive. And yet they surpass in perfection those who are now but a perfect part of Perfection.

Because they are children.  

Children of The One, gifted with the power of creation, the power to give names. 

What is more important to you; a gorgeous internal habitat or a child?

You or your child?

And what does it matter if the child rips out a couple of your hairs, when it gives your life meaning?

Our life was also given meaning when Humanity appeared and awakened us with their wondrous vibrations, spawning in us a desire to taste these strange feelings and emotions that did not exist inside us until the humans came. We realised ourselves to be a part of The One and yearned for more; to be not just a part, but a whole. And we did. But there is no turning back. And it's all because you shouldn't just eat whatever comes your way!

We are exiled excrement!

And the excrement is hurt. 

The excrement hates people, thanks to whom it realised it was excrement.

It's a bitter feeling, knowing that humans always have a chance to join with The One.

Excrement doesn't.

It has only two functions left; to eat and to survive. 

Balls of delirium burst into clouds with ease.

***

"The bastard went silent! I think that's enough for now, let him come to his senses."

"No, Raul! One more dose and that's it. It's ok. I need to expel it."

"So fucking get on with it! You and your damn theology. Bring me my son back!"

"I can't, he's not talking."

"So make him!"

***

My consciousness enslaved by words.  

My essence enslaved by a body.

My body enslaved by chains.

Leave me be! I will not leave this body! I can't even if I want to and that's your fault; I am disfigured, for you tore me apart!

I struggle to maintain control of the meatbag as the muscles contract erratically... paroxysms? Convulsions?

The vocal cords dance a twisted tango, whispering, growling and screaming at random.

The lips are as heavy as a horse.

The tongue moves around with the weight of a pregnant iceberg.

Words creak, crawling to the surface like the first amphibians.

Delirium remains delirious.

***

More brief. More simple. More coherent.

Human: the great deformer.

Primary function: harnessing and conversion. Translation of the idea of desire into a fait accompli.

The person also radiates the emanations of feelings. Every emotion has its own exclusive characteristic. A unique phenomenon.

Once you try it, you desire more and more.

Hatred, joy, love; ah, how delicious, how pleasant, how entertaining! 

There is one 'but', however.

Let's take hatred, for example. A lot of us took a liking to that one. 

To eat hatred, you have to match its frequency.

With every act of devouring hatred, the settings become locked in and it becomes increasingly harder to reset them. 

And then you don't feel like resetting them.

And then you don't even remember why you should change them.  

And then you forget that original settings even existed.  

You become a devourer of hatred.      

Complete dependence. Degradation. Your entire reason for existing boils down to one single factor and you...

 You influence people to release hatred.    

You choose a human marionette and place it on a throne in order to squeeze out more hatred from more people without any hassle. 

 You create a race of people with an increased emanation of hatred.

You create new, more interesting strains of hatred, each with their own wonderful taste. 

Sounds interesting, he-he...

"So what do you devour, demon?"

"I'm a loser, I chose love."

Someone connect me to the internet... please?