A Weekend away

-

I woke up and lazily fumbled around for my clock before brutally smashing my fist against it, causing it to glow up and display the time:
11:36 am

My eyes shot open.

"Shitting piss!", I shouted, confused by my choice of words yet irritated by my oversleeping.

I didn't realise it but I must've fallen asleep with my phone in my hands without eating any dinner.

I was still fully dressed in my school uniform and saliva was dribbling slowly out the corner of my mouth.

"MUUUUUM?!", I wailed, flailing around under my duvet with an urge to viciously slap my mother for not bothering to wake me up.

"Fuck", I grumbled as I didn't get a response.

I flopped onto the floor only to find a note by the door of my room. It read:

"Dear Dan,
Your father and I are out on a small weekend trip away. I understand that we should've told you earlier but we figured we should escape before you had the chance to argue.
Love, Mummy and Daddy. xxxxx
P.S. I left you a Malteaser box in the top right cupboard in the kitchen as an apology for ditching you on such short notice.

Bloody hell, my parents were such huge twats.

'Mummy and Daddy', what do they think I am? A gay 3 year old?

Well... Close enough.

It was a Friday as well so it was pretty stupid of them to call it a 'weekend' break, considering they must've left yesterday evening.

I honestly couldn't be bothered to go to school so, in order to aid my choice of going or staying, I created a list of pros and cons of going in for the remaining hours:

Pros:
• Seeing Phil
• Admiring Phil
• Free chips from Pj
• Talking to Phil
• Phil's face

Cons:
• Not seeing Phil because he could be ill and have Ebola
• Getting told off for being late
• Being probed by Miss Wood and her Pervy pointing stick that she uses for 'educational purposes only'
• Being attacked by those kids in Year 9 who claim to have a gaydar and can sense me and my homo from 54 miles away.
• It's school ffs, R u stupid.

I decided to go against it eventually, besides, I can always spam Phil until he talks to me.

Notice me senpai.
Pls.

I picked up my phone from under my duvet and sent Phil a quick text:

"Not coming in 2day bcus I cba, it's a shame I don't get 2 c u sooner tho. I'm super excited for tomorrow! :]"

Hmm I wonder how he'd respond to a ;] face if I sent him one.

Kinky.

As if he was expecting me to text him, he replied only a few minutes later:

"I wud offer 4 u 2 come over after school but I hav to go to my neighbour's for dinner so my life sucks rn. C u tomoz xx"

"K then. Ily... Wait wtf am I allowed 2 even say that o_o"

After I sent that text I mentally face palmed myself.

What's wrong with me.

Dang it.

"Sure bby x"

Omf

"Omg ur such a cheesy twit"

"Ya ik :]"

He made my day, no matter how utterly silly he was.

Ugh Dan seriously, you hardly know him.

Calm yo hormones.

Sheesh.

I ended up playing donkey kong on my DS for only half an hour until I fell asleep on the toilet...

What...

Doesn't everyone play games on the loo?

Just me?

K.

I was asleep for an hour until the postman thumped on the front door.

Are you-

Really-

Now?

I hurriedly flushed and washed my hands and yeah... I'm sure you'd love to hear all the details, you kinky thang, but I'd rather not share anything... O_o

I flung open the front door, only just pulling up my pyjama bottoms in time until I was greeted by the postman who gave me an odd expression.

Luckily he must've thought I was off ill or something.

"Sign here please", he said, shoving an electrical device and a stylus in my face.

I squiggled out a ':Dan' signature and as I returned the device he frowned and tossed the parcel at me.

"Good day".

"Uh you too...? Mate?", I replied.

Mate.

MATE.

MATE?!

DAN YOU'RE SUCH A FREAKING NUMPTY.

I seriously need to stop speaking in the third person... To myself... Alone...

Wow, I need help, Gosh.

I slammed the door and leapt upstairs, throttling the parcel onto my parent's bed before retreating to my bedroom once again to immerse myself into Donkey kong.

Nothing interesting happened for the rest of the day except for this dude called Manesh who sent me some dickpics...

I DID NOT ASK FOR THEM YOU DIRTY DONG.

I didn't even have a clue as to who he was... O_o

Yeah I had to spend 3 hours in the bathroom after that...

Cleaning my eyes...

With bleach...

Vigorously.

Jk but seriously I need an exorcist or something.

I cannot unsee that. Oh dear.

-

The Following Day

-

I slept in, yet again, jeez, I'm a lazy-ass sometimes.

My clock read 1:24pm

Wow, I guess I must've stayed up on my DS for a while. Heh... Heh...

Don't judge me, OK?!

I had about 6 1/2 hours until Phil came to pick me up.

I wonder how far his mate's house his from mine... Hmm... It can't be that far...

No seriously.

It CAN'T be far else I'll collapse on the pavement.

Just sayin'.

I clambered into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, my reflection showing off my disgracefully messy hobbit hair.

"Sweet Jesus", I murmured, scrambling around for my straighteners.

I adjusted my fringe to make it more presentable and I applied some cream on my skin to make it smoother and moisturised.

Moisturised.

Moist-urised.

Moist.

Eew. o_o

Once I was finished, I stumbled back into my bedroom and grabbed out a pink Galaxy t-shirt with a crowned llama on the front and a pair of my favourite black skinny jeans.

I put on the clothes and did one last fringe check before settling back down to play some more Donkey Kong until Phil arrived.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I'd gotten through 5 boxes of malteasers through a 24 hour period.

Healthy is my middle name... Or is it James? Fuck it, I don't know.

-
6 hours later
-

I was lying under the covers of my bed, chewing unconsciously at an empty Malteaser box... Yeah... I ran out of stock. // CRI //

I was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. My head turned to my clock:

"8:03pm"

Oh shit.

I ran out of bed and I skidded past the mirror, noticing that my hair had curled back up again but I decided to leave it since I couldn't keep Phil waiting.

"Commmingggg", I shouted, jumping downstairs, tripping at the bottom then crawling over towards the door.

I opened it and Phil stood looking down at me.

"I've never felt so tall", he sniggered.

"I guess you are pretty giant sized- Oh wait- ah no, I'm growing-", I slowly raised to my feet to regain my original height, towering over him and smirking.

"Crap", he sulked, grabbing my arm and pulling me out the door way, "Let's go then King Kong".

I shut the door behind me and gave him a stern yet jokey glare, "You call me that again and I'll sit on you".

"Fine by me", he laughed, pulling me again.

My cheeks blushed lightly.

This all happened so fast.

At first I thought my crush was way out of my league and he was straight but now he's admitted to being gay and liking me back.

Crazy.

"It's only a few minutes down the road by the way", he smiled back at me, still tugging at me.

Well, I think my lungs will be able to survive.

Unless I start to hyperventilate as I suddenly realise my crush and I are going 'out'...

C'mon lungs, let's do dis.