Sam, Gar, and Rachel are sitting around the Lazurus Pit. Rachel has just finished giving Gar a pep talk about how she's able to do what she does out of love. Gar has been feeling a little bit like a letdown, unable to transform into different animals on command like he can as a tiger. The only times it's happened is when he's terrified, as if there's a block of fear in his head keeping him from transforming into anything else. Sam stays silent. Sam doesn't think Rachel is wrong. Gar could definitely change into other animals beyond being scared and maybe the answer is the love he has for all of the Titans and the love they have for him because they all believe him. But, Sam is still stuck in her head wondering if that's always enough.

Right now, love doesn't seem like the thing that heals all wounds and makes everything better. It wasn't enough to keep Jason safe. It wasn't enough to keep him out of Crane's grasp. It wasn't enough to get Bruce to kill the Joker before he had his chance. It wasn't enough to bring Jason home. It wasn't enough for Rachel to bring Donna back. It wasn't enough for Sam to bring Jason back. It wasn't enough to keep the Titans at the tower. There have been so many things, especially lately, where it's just not been enough. Sometimes it's not enough so instead of being pessimistic about it, Sam stays quiet, looking at the pit and hoping it spits Dick out.

"You're quiet." Gar states, moving his attention to Sam.

"Oh, yeah." Sam shakes her head, glancing back at him. "Just...waiting." Sam looks back at Rachel. There's no guarantee this is going to work. They need another plan if it doesn't. They need another plan if it takes too long. "Do you think you could find the other Titans? Like...at some point tonight?"

"Yeah." Rachel nods her head. "I can feel their energy, too." Rachel's voice is soft.

"Well, that's good at least. Kory will know what to do." Sam lets out a sigh, moving her stare back to the Pit.

"You don't think this is gonna work, do you?" Rachel asks.

"I don't know." Sam shrugs. "I'm just trying to think ahead in case it doesn't or in case it takes a while. I mean, for all we know it takes a few days." Sam states just as the put starts bubbling. "Or...a few hours." Sam mutters as the three of them get to their feet, looking into the pit just as Dick's fist punches through the surface and he emerges from the thick and glowing liquid.

Dick starts to swim to the edge while Sam and Gar quickly meet him there to help pull him out. They grab his arms, pulling at him until he's out of the pit and leaning back on his hands. He coughs up water just as Rachel kneels down beside him, Sam and Gar getting back to their feet. Sam and Gar exchange a look of disbelief as hope has the courage to start to fill their chests.

"Dick?" Rachel asks.

Dick manages to look at her, furrowing his brows in confusion before he falls back onto his back and passes out. Rachel looks back to Gar and Sam, as if they'll know what just happened.

"What do we do?" Rachel asks.

"Is he breathing?" Gar asks with hesitance.

The three of them see Dick's chest rising and falling. This whole thing has been weird and it almost seemed like he drowned. Is there supposed to be more to do this? Or is he supposed to just...sleep off the effects and then he's just alive again? The three of them are completely confused by the entire situation.

"Yes." Rachel states.

"I guess we wait some more?" Sam questions. "He's breathing so that's better than the alternative." Sam shrugs her shoulders, wishing she would have pressed Jason to get some answers from Crane about him coming back.

But then Dick snaps back out of it, gasping himself awake as he shoots up. Sam and Gar both jump back slightly at the sudden movement and sound as if Dick is jumpscare in a bad horror movie.

"Rachel?" Dick gaps for breath, looking more confused than ever. "Gar?" Dick rushes, getting onto one knee. "Sam?" Dick questions looking to Sam.

The last thing he remembers to be real is Sam and Jason kneeling above him, looking lost and panicked. Then there was everything in the pit which only leaves him with far more questions than answers, none of which he has time to get answers to right now. The Pit told him everything he needs to know to take down Crane. That's all that can matter right now if they're going to save Gotham. He can deal with the rest later.

"It's okay now. You're safe." Rachel assures him. "Let us help you."

"You...alright?" Gar asks with worry.

"Yeah, dude. You like...died." Sam states with the scrunch of her nose, earning a light nudge from Gar.

"What...what happened down there?" Gar asks.

Dick breathes heavily, catching his breath and then completely avoids the question. "Crane can be stopped." Dick states, running a hand through his hair. "There's still time." Dick rushes, getting to his feet.

Dick starts to walk towards the exit as Rachel gets to her feet. He cannot possibly be serious. He just died and drowned and now he's just...going to stop Crane. Suddenly he has all the answers and he's going to go off on his own? He can barely even catch his breath.

"Wait. Dick, man, you need to rest." Gar rushes after him, the three teens right on Dick's heels.

Dick turns around, barely facing the three of them. "Anton and First Street. There's an abandoned control room. Find Conner. Make sure he's okay. Unite the Titans." Dick states in a hurry. "Sam, with me, let's go." Dick rushes before he turns on his heels and starts darting down the hallway.

"Unite the Titans where?" Rachel calls after him.

"Take them to Donna." Dick states, not slowly down or stopping as he makes his way down the tunnel.

The three teens look between each other in confusion, trying to grasp any sort of explanation to no avail. Donna is supposed to be dead, according to Rachel. And he was in a Pit?

"Sam!" Dick calls from down the hall, his voice echoing over the bricks.

Sam shrugs at the two of them. "Uh...alright. Good luck with that, I guess? I'll make sure he's not fucking insane." Sam states quickly, spinning on her heels before she jogs down the hall to catch up to Dick.

Sam catches up to Dick who is walking a steady and quick pace, his head clearly thinking a hundred steps ahead. Sam eyes him as she matches his pace, walking right beside him. He just died? And then came back to life? There is no way in hell this man is just...fine with that. Of course, there are a lot of other things they need to focus on, especially with me somehow knowing Crane can be stopped. There are more pressing matters than Dick's mental state at this exact point in time but that doesn't bring Sam any type of ease.

No one should die and then just be fine.

Jason sure as shit isn't. So, Dick can't be either.

Sam follows Dick out of the building, keeping up with him.

"We're going to meet Jason." Dick states flatly once the two of them exit the building.

"We're gonna what now?" Sam questions, shaking her head. "And how do you expect we even find him?"

"He'll be here." Dick states, a confidence that should be reassuring consumes his voice.

How is he so sure about everything all of a sudden? The Lazarus Pit brings people back, and heals them, but...it can't possibly predict the future right? But, Dick also just said Donna is alive which means...if that's actually true the pit brings more than life back to someone. It brings some sort of clarity for things they otherwise shouldn't know. But if he's wrong that just means it's made him crazy which also means the pit did have some sort of lasting effect on Jason, too. This can't be good.

"How do you even know that?" Sam questions, trying to figure out what is actually going on. If anything, he needs to slow down.

"He'll always go back to where it happened." Dick states.

What?

Sam's face scrunches in both annoyance and more confusion. She did this round-and-round question game with Jason, she's not doing it with Dick. He wants her to go and find Jason so damn bad, he can give her some clarity, too.

"What the shit with Donna being alive? How the fuck do you even know that?" Sam almost demands instead of asking.

"I just do." Dick says simply.

"That's not reassuring whatsoever." Sam mutters with more annoyance. 

Dick glances down to Sam, seeing her grow frustrated. "The pit..." Dick says.

"Yeah, no I figured that out but you're not exactly giving out details here." Sam rolls her eyes before she grabs his arm to bring him to a stop. "Dude, seriously, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Come on, we can't waste—" Dick starts as he continues walking.

"No, fuck that shit!" Sam yells, keeping up with him again. "You know, you batboys do that shit all the time. You guys say you're fine when you're not. You literally just fucking died, Dick. You can't just be fine after that. And you know if the three of you would just fucking talk about how not fine all of you are, we probably wouldn't be in this mess to begin with, right? Like that's your guys' entire fucking problem. I hate talking about my shit, too but I'm learning the more I admit how not fine I am the easier it is and I tend to feel a little bit better about it. The three of you are just fucking annoying about it and if you really think that's not your problem, you're being willfully ignorant and we both know that's not a very Nightwing thing to be." Sam finishes with a scoff and the shake of her head.

And maybe a large part of her frustration is that neither of them seem to think they matter. They are sacrifices. Jason always thinks the world is simply better off without him and Dick thinks he's expendable. He can be the sacrifice for the greater good. It's why he's reckless and why he goes off on his own. Jason does the exact same thing. It's fine to them if they die. But, they leave these people in the wake of their deaths with paralyzing grief. This time it wasn't permanent for either of them but what happens when it is? It shouldn't be because they were reckless and decided to sacrifice themselves because they matter to people. The people who love them and they should be considered in all of this.

Dick glances down to her as Sam keeps her eyes straight, jaw clenched tight. Dying is traumatic but Sam's right. They don't talk about it. Bruce never talked about anything so Dick wouldn't talk about anything and Jason never talked about anything. Batman and Robin could never be scared and they weren't allowed to let their emotions get in the way. Emotions cause blurriness and distractions. On the field, those things get you killed. But, he's not Robin. He's not with Batman. He just died as Nightwing.

"It was a lot." Dick manages to state.

"Yeah..." Sam says quietly.

"You almost died. I think you know." Dick says, still partially avoiding the question.

"Yeah, it was really scary and traumatizing." Sam states flatly because even though she was close, she did not die. He saved her. And Jason saved her. Close doesn't count here.

"Yeah." Dick keeps his word short. "I had to face some...challenges." Dick confesses, feeling the very core of his bones ache with guilt over the brutal beating of Jason even though it wasn't real in the pit. "It's hard to explain. It was a test or something." Sam looks at him, seeing the look of distance and remorse dissolve over his face and she doesn't need to ask what kind of tests. "I understand Jason a little more now, him as Red Hood." Dick lets out a breath. "But I can't focus on what happened if we're going to stop Crane. "

Sam nods softly. "Right, yeah, got it." Sam lets out a breath. "Your ability to compartmentalize is really something else but you should really deal with it after instead pushing it off." Sam says quietly, earning a glance from Dick. "Something else will always come up, you're Nightwing. You're a Titan. I'm just saying, look where we stand today like maybe it would have been different if things weren't always compartmentalized. Maybe you need to feel it sometimes."

The words almost catch Sam off guard. She's been running from her own pain for so long that she thinks that's her biggest issue. She runs and it hurts her and the people that care about her. It's easier to not feel any of it but it makes being a person harder. There is blood on her hands and a part of her wonders if she had just let herself grieve, maybe there wouldn't be. Maybe most of what happened between her and Jason after wouldn't have happened because she would have grieved. She would have felt all of it. Maybe had she stuck around after her mom died, let herself just feel it, she wouldn't have ended up with Jerry. Maybe allowing the pain to bleed a little is how people heal from it. Let it scab over and let it mend itself over time with care and attention.

"Are you okay?" Dick asks. "You were there. You found Jason, you were there with Tim. This is a lot for you, too."

"Yeah..." Sam lets out a sigh. "Like...I-I-I don't know. You're like this weird...weird brother I-I never really wanted or asked for and then you died. And that's just...I don't know. I fuck with you but I respect you and ya know?" Sam looks up with honest eyes. "Kind of would suck a lot of you died permanently. You're like good at this and you're important to the Titans." Sam rolls her shoulders, pulling in a heavy breath. "And to me." Sam mutters so quietly Dick nearly misses it.

"Thank you." Dick says. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." There's the smallest touch of sarcasm in his voice.

Sam manages to crack a smile. "Eh, don't get used to it, Dickolas. It's cause you died. Gotta be nice to you for at least an hour."  Dick shakes his head but Sam sees the subtle hint of a smile on his face. "Why are we going to find Jason anyway?"

"He'll know how to take out Crane and we need him on the inside. He wouldn't tell Crane he's against him, would he?"

"Doubt it." Sam scoffs. "Jason is smart, methodical. He still wants Crane dead for what he did to me so he's not gonna let Crane think they're on different sides just so he can have the upper hand."

"Good. We find Jason and bring him with us. I have a plan." Dick states with urgency but offers no further explanation.

"Yeah...okay. So, uh, where do I come in? The mediator, still?" Sam almost laughs at the idea. 

"No. You said Jason wanted to talk, let's talk. You're here because I need you with Jason."

While the idea of them talking is definitely enticing, Sam isn't completely convinced. Jason didn't pull the trigger this time but it is his fault Dick died. And given how Jason has been about Bruce who wasn't even in Gotham when Jason was killed, Sam can't help but feel a bit uneasy with Dick wanting to find Jason so soon after surviving the Pit. 

"And how do we know you're not gonna kill Jason? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't want you to kill him and I'd fight like hell to make sure you don't. But...he did kind of just get you killed so you can see why I'm a little confused about you're kind of change of heart, I guess." Sam explains, eyeing him from the corner of her eye. 

"You'll just have to trust me. I never wanted him dead. He was just giving us no choice." There's something almost sad that trickles into his voice while his expression gives nothing away. 

"There's always a choice, Dick." Sam says quietly. "You can't say there isn't a choice when you yelled at me for killing and you're mad at Jason for killing. And you preached about how we can't be judge, jury, and executioner. There is a choice."

"Jason was going to kill all of us." Dick defends his stance, not acknowledging the hypocrisy of it all.

"So? And the ones we want dead will keep trying to kill other people. Or worse. Just because we, specifically, aren't their targets doesn't mean they get a pass. The innocent people that are their targets deserve the same amount of care and protection that we offer each other." Sam pulls in a breath, feeling Dick move his stare to her. "We clearly didn't have to kill him, is my point."

This is the most Dick has gotten out about her motive. It's more than it being about the kids left behind. It's the bigger picture. That there is a choice and sometimes it's a bad choice and a hard choice but one that means, in her head, protecting the greater good in the same way Dick wants to protect the Titans. It doesn't mean he agrees with her, but he does see her point of view for once.

"Do you disagree with going after Jason?"

"No." Sam answers plainly. "I'm just incredibly loyal to him. If it were anyone else, they'd be dead. And I understand that's a bit hypocritical given what I just said. That's why circumstances and background are important when making the decision to kill someone." Sam shakes her head. "I know him. I know him being a cold-blooded killer isn't him. Background matters."

"You're right it does. I do not want him dead." Dick offers a sincere nod towards her before it falls silent between them.

They finally reach the spot from last night where Dick finds the Red Hood helmet, picks it up and takes it along with him. There's a puddle of blood still on the pavement that makes Sam's stomach twist. It's as if blood stains everything it touches.

Sam is still unconvinced Jason will be here like Dick says. He's not psychic all of a sudden. But, she stays with him anyway, hoping they run into Jason and of course, they do. Somehow, Dick is right about this. Jason is yelling that Red Hood is back as he fires a gun into the air.

"Jason...it's okay." Dick calls, getting Jason's attention as he spins around quickly. His face is still covered in blood and cuts from the fifth the night before. His eyes nearly bug out of his head, this can't be right. "It's me."

He knows they took Dick to the Pit but there is a part of him that still can't believe it worked. Watching the life literally leave someone's body only for them to be alive the following day, that's more than unsettling. It feels wrong. It's the same wrong feeling Jason gets any time he gets a moment of silence and can hear his own heartbeat in his ears. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

But he is relieved to see Dick walking and alive. The feeling of it being wrong, is just the echo in his own bones. Dick should be the one alive. If the Pit were to work on anyone and offer someone a second chance, it should be Dick.

"It worked?" Jason questions, almost losing the breath from his lungs with the words. His eyes land on Sam as if she's the only one who can confirm if this is real or not.

She nods once. "Yeah, it did."

"You knew?" Dick asks.

Jason nods. "Rachel said that's where Gar was taking you." Jason explains as his eyes start to grow glassy, the guilt thundering through his bones once more.

"We don't have much time. I need your help." Dick cuts the conversation short, knowing they can't discuss this now but he's getting the idea maybe Jason did just want to talk. He looks hurt and relieved to see him and Sam.

Sam, on the other hand, is still uneasy. Dick isn't giving her any indication that this is going to go sideways but she feels herself grip a knife from her belt anyway. This can't go sideways again. Them working on different teams has not helped fight Crane but working together should. Crane, at the very least, won't see it coming. She just doesn't want to see anyone else close to her die again.

"You want me to help you?" Jason asks, stretching his arms out at his sides in disbelief. He can't help. Not after what he's become. "I'm a fucking murderer."

"You know how Crane is operating. You know how he thinks." Dick starts. "He needs to be stopped or a lot more people are gonna die." Dick pauses for just a second. "You want redemption?" Dick asks as Jason hangs his head. "Do you?" Dick asks more firmly this time. "This is the first step."

Of course he wants redemption for the harm he's caused but his methods now do not align with Dick's. He's almost gotten them killed and he did kill Hank. He betrayed them. How is he supposed to go back now and help? After everything? After what he's become? It sounds hopeless and he almost lets his pity get the best of him until his eyes meet Sam's.

"We need your help, Jay." Sam pleads with him.

Jason shakes his head. "You can't stop him." Jason answers with defeat rather than snark. He genuinely believes Gotham is lost to Crane. "He's got everything. The police, the Batcave. He's gonna take the whole fucking city down!"

"How?" Dick asks more in a way that sounds like a demand.

"You think I know?" Jason scoffs. "He doesn't tell me shit."

"Jay? You have to know something. You've been with him this entire time and you wanted to talk to Dick last night. You know something." Sam urges, practically begging him to just say something.

He told her once that he remembers everything. Crane slipped somewhere and all Jason has to do is remember. Think of whatever the hell Crane said that might be a clue.

Jason hangs his head as tears start to come to his eyes. "It was all crazy shit." Jason pauses for a second. "Like waves of anger and fear. The bright and darkened lands of the Earth. Something about an attack you and Bruce stopped a long time ago." Jason states, looking at Dick with confusion knowing Bruce never told him.

"Years ago, Crane sent a poem to Jim Gordon with clues about an attack on Gotham. A chain of explosives to release his fear toxin. We stopped him before he had the chance to set it off. Bruce took Crane's weapons and put them in the Gotham Armory to study them."

"And Crane's in the Batcave." Jason finishes. "So, he knows where those weapons are."

"And so do we now." Dick states as he extends Jason's helmet out to him. "We need to go."

"We need your help, Jay." Sam nods at him.

Jason puts the pistol back in the holster on his leg. "So, I'm a Titan again?" Jason asks.

"No, you'll never be a Titan again." Dick states before he closes the distance between them, offering his helmet. "But, you can help us save Gotham."

Jason eyes the helmet as the feeling of being lost hits him like a ton of bricks. He never really fit in being a Titan anyway but...something about the confirmation that even if he were to change back to who he was before, it's over, really hits him. It's something he can't come back from. That part of his life, Robin, he gone. It's lost to the darkness. The Joker took it from him. Crane took it from him. The one thing he thought made him who he is, is shattered with so many of his hopes. It's lost and gone and Jason can't help but feel alone and lost now.

But, feeling that way got him here in the first place so he takes the helmet from Dick.

"How do I know you're not going to kill me?" Jason asks.

"Because now I know what it's like to die." Dick answers harshly.

Jason's eyes glance to Sam and then back to the helmet in his hands. It's more guilt. It's always guilt that comes back like the bladed boomerang. Jason knows firsthand what it's like to die, too and that didn't stop him. That was never a reason for him to stop. It doesn't matter that he was drugged and manipulated because, to Jason, Dick's reason should have been enough. It doesn't matter that the drug removed his guilt and his fear and the feeling of being haunted and stalked by something dark and twisted. He should have known better and he put death on Hank anyway. He lead Dick to getting killed.

He should have known better than to go after the people who actually cared about him. He knows what it's like to die and Dick does, too. To Jason, that should give Dick enough reason to kill him and yet...he doesn't and he seems sincere.

"Fine." Jason agrees reluctantly. "How can I help?" Jason asks letting out a steady breath as he nods his head.

"Come on. I've got a car around the block. We're going to break into the vault." Dick says casually as he starts walking past Jason.

Jason looks at Sam before Sam rolls her eyes, trailing after Dick, Jason falling in line with her. The two of them follow Dick to the car he, for some reason, just has. Sam and Jason can only assume it's from last night. He had to get to Jason some way. Jason takes the passenger seat while Sam sits in the back, sitting right in the middle. Dick starts the drive while Jason is stuck in the car with his brother. This is not the ideal situation.

"Do you want to explain any of this?" Dick asks after a few minutes of silence. "How we got here?"

"Not really." Jason quips back with frustration looking out the window. He's not even entirely sure where to start. It all feels like this started so long ago and maybe in a way it did. Maybe it started that day he stole the hubcaps. Maybe he should have listened to Dick and Sam about Bruce. "After fucking everything, I just can't believe Bruce couldn't fucking kill the Joker." Jason lets out a scoff. "He fucking beat me to death with a fucking crowbar and Bruce just...fucks off somewhere." Jason scoffs again, barely able to hide the crack in his voice.

The car falls dead silent as Dick glances in the rearview mirror at Sam before she leans forward in between the boys. Sam and Dick are on the verge of exploding. This really cannot be Jason's entire motive. How the hell doesn't he know? She looks at Jason who's giving her a confused and annoyed expression. Sam looks back to Dick who is clearly trying to figure out how he's supposed to burst this bubble without it leading to another fistfight.

"I got it." Sam states before looking to Jason. "Who exactly do you think killed the Joker?" Sam blinks at him with her brows raised, really hoping Jason's motive is not entirely linked to this little bit of information.

Jason eyes her, looking to the side and then back at her. The look Sam is giving him with Dick glancing at him has him feeling like Crane may have lied to him about that, too. But, Bruce wouldn't throw his morals away, right? Not for someone like Jason. Not for Jason. Bruce didn't kill the Joker.

"Uh...Crane said it was one of the prisoners who dressed like the Bat?" Jason lets out a scoff, playing it off in hopes this conversation is not going where he thinks it's going.

Sam looks back at Dick who looks like he might have an aneurysm.  Jason has been deadset on his new form of justice which Sam agrees with but...if he thinks Bruce didn't kill the Joker for him, maybe that's his motive. Sam always felt his hatred towards Dick was just some weird rivalry amplified by Crane but if Jason thought no one avenged him...maybe that's it. She almost cringes at the idea of having to burst his bubble.

"You hear it, right?" Sam asks Jason as she looks back at him. "Like..." Sam pauses, scrunching her nose. "Crane, inmate dressing as the Bat."

There is no fucking way Bruce actually killed someone, the Joker, for Jason.

"Did....did Bruce actually do it?" Jason huffs as if he expects Sam and Dick to be messing with him as some sort of cruel payback or even to get him back on the "good" side.

"Walked into my room with a bloody crowbar." Dick states.

He cannot believe of all lies for Jason to believe from Crane, he had to believe that one. Crane is a manipulative asshole who's had Jason drugged and under his thumb ever since coming back, but how does Jason actually believe this? Even though Bruce has always been completely against murder in any instance, Jason should have known it was a lie. All of Gotham knows it was actually Batman.

"He actually did it?" Jason asks but this time, there's a sense of shock and remorse in his voice.

Every single part of him should feel relieved that Bruce would do this for him. Bruce Wayne, Batman, the same guy who has preached about not being judge, jury, and executioner, killed someone for him. Bruce killed The Joker for beating Jason to death and Jason should feel relieved and thankful but instead, he just feels guilty. Maybe wanting Bruce to avenge his death was never the thing he really wanted.

"Yeah, Jay." Sam nods her head, her voice quiet and sad. "Fuck Bruce, but I told you he loved you."

"Fuck." Jason lets out a groan, resting his head back on the headrest. "I really fucking thought he wouldn't do it."

Jason always thought Bruce would never break that moral code. He said it would be too easy to keep going. It's always just that one and then there would be another who's just as bad. The lines would start to blur and he wouldn't be able to stop. But, Jason did think if he ever were going to break it, it would have been for Dick, not Jason. He had no idea he actually meant that much to Bruce and now Bruce up and leaving Gotham without a trace makes sense. It wasn't that Crane drove him away or some sort of hideaway until things cooled down after losing his son. It was the grief of it all. The blame Bruce has to feel, knowing he led Jason into the road of Robin.

"Was that your only motivation for this?" Dick questions, almost not wanting to know the answer.

"Of course not." Jason sneers. "But...it didn't help." Jason grits his teeth. "I don't fucking know." Jason crosses his arms, not more aggravated over the whole thing than ever.

Crane took everything from him. And Jason trusted him.

"It's okay if you're mad at him for not saving you and thinking he didn't avenge your death." Sam states softly. "But now you know."

"I'm not though." Jason states as he nearly cuts Sam off, catching them both off guard. "I'm not fucking mad at him for not saving me." Jason's voice trails off. "I...fuck it. Forget it, alright? Crane lied to me about that, too and here we are." Jason lets out a scoff as he shakes his head before turning to look out his window.

Dick always felt like Jason was the type to hold a grudge, get unreasonable mad about things beyond his control. But, in the time since the tower, he got to know him better, finding out that wasn't entirely true. Jason's statement just now proves that. It was never about Bruce not saving him or even avenging him. It was him being alone. Thrown to the side the second things started to get messy. It was always about him feeling abandoned and less than, not good enough.

And Sam can see that, too.

Sam looks to Dick and for once, Dick looks worried. "Don't worry," Sam starts, earning a look from Jason. "I'll kill Crane for you." Sam offers him a soft smile that almost makes Jason laugh.

"Really?" Dick questions with annoyance.

"Don't pretend like you don't want him dead." Sam chortles.

"Yeah, right." Jason scoffs. "He's too good for it." Jason nearly chortles with her just to mock Dick.

"Hey!" Dick challenges. "Crane is bad, he just needs to remain locked away."

"No, you want him dead." Sam nods her head. "He killed your brother, drove your adoptive dad away, almost killed me, killed Hank, has been actively trying to get you killed for two weeks, and turned all of Gotham against the Titans. You want him dead. I can tell."

"You got a fucking sixth sense for right now?" Jason quips, this time actually letting a laugh slip from the bottom of his lungs.

"No." Sam chortles. "Dick isn't as stern when he talks about not killing Crane. He always has this look about killing being wrong and he always says the same thing, he doesn't do either with Crane."

"He's just a bad person." Dick defends himself, not even wanting to humor Sam's theory behind this.

"No shit, man." Jason huffs. "I fucking died and he probably set the whole thing up."

"So did I." Dick states back.

"Gar died, Jason died, Dick died, Donna died, we all just taking turns? Where should I stand in line?" Sam quips with the intention of not letting them even start an argument.

"Not funny." Jason and Dick say at the same time, making themselves grimace.

Sam bursts into a fit of laughter. "I told you, Jay. You two--"

"Shut the fuck up." Jason hits his head on the back of the headrest, closing his eyes. The last thing he wants to hear is that him and Dick even have one similarity but his voice isn't harsh and there might even the smallest hint of a smirk on his lips.

Sam leans back in her seat with the shake of her head and a gentle smile. this is going to eat at him for a while but she hopes Bruce will come back. Maybe after they take out Crane, Dick will be able to find him and him and Jason can go get him. Maybe Jason getting to see Bruce after all of this will ease some of his guilt. They've had talks about it. Sam knows him being fooled into thinking Bruce didn't avenge him isn't his entire motive. Jason always felt like Bruce could do more and this is doing more. It doesn't make it easy for him or make him feel better, but she knows there's always more to Jason's motives than something surface-level.

Once they get to the armory, the three of them enter with ease. There are no guards this time. There's no one even here, just the three of them which allows them to walk right up to the vault. The entire city is in a bit of chaos, using up any force that might have been here. It's not ideal for everyone else, but it is definitely beneficial to Sam, Jason, and Dick right about now.

They reach the vault door where Jason takes the lead, lining the door with a sort of liquid that then ignites and breaks the seals of the door, fire almost engulfing the door until it hits the floor. Jason is the first one to step inside, his gun pointed forward with a flashlight on top. Sam follows right behind him with her own flashlight and then Dick.

"Let's go." Dick says once he gets in front of them, leading the way to case they need.

Dick opens the case only for nothing to be inside besides a book called Collected Poems by Will Auden.

"I don't get it. There's supposed to be like two hundred ampules." Jason states with frustration. "What the fuck is that?"

Dick reaches forward and grabs the book. "Bright and darkened lands of the Earth." Dick states, looking at the book.

Sam and Jason look between each other and then back to Dick. Of all things for Dick to understand, a random book of poems is the thing he understands. Of course, he does.

"What are you talking about?" Jason asks.

"Crane's poem." Dick states as he opens the book, flipping to somewhere in the middle. "His war on Gotham."

Jason snatches the book back, Sam looking over his arm to see the page Dick opened.

"Fuck." Jason groans.

Crane's already beat them here. It has to be some sort of gloat thing he's doing, like he's already two steps ahead of them. He's been two steps ahead this whole time and his war on Gotham is now in full swing. What are they supposed to do if they can't locate the bombs and disable them? What if Crane is already out there ready to blow up the city?

"What are we supposed to do now?" Sam asks, looking up to Dick.

Dick pauses for a second, looking to the empty case and then back to Sam and Jason. "Let's go. I have an idea." Dick says quickly before he turns and heads towards the exit.

The three of them head back to the car, taking back their seats as Dick immediately starts driving. Sam is watching him and she is fascinated by how quickly Dick can change directions. Not a single part of her is surprised but she is fascinated by it. He was trained by Batman. To be out there, as a vigilante, you have to know how to pivot immediately. Dick is really good at it. So, is Jason. It's something the two of them have in common. The ability to adapt to anything and everything, even when everything is covered in bloody chaos.

"One poem, multiple bombs." Dick starts. "Clues to where the bombs are are placed in the poems."

"What's the plan?" Jason asks, his stare on Dick hoping Dick does actually have some sort of backup plan.

"Find some supers and stop the bombs from going off." Dick says it almost casually as if it's something so simple and easy.

"Titans?" Jason scoffs. "What are they gonna do when they see me?"

Jason knows there is no way the Titans are going to welcome him back with open arms and trust him just because Dick and Sam say he's safe now. Gar might but Kory, Conner, and Rachel won't. He's been actively targeting them and he killed Hank. They're not just going to forget that and move on like nothing happened. They'll likely try and kill him the second they see him at this point. He got Dick killed.

"They're not." Dick states, revving the engine before pulling over at a curb.

"What's going on?" Jason asks once the car is stopped.

"Get out." Dick states.

"Out?" Jason asks, hurt covering his voice.

"I can't bring you back to the Titans. It'll cause a war." Dick explains. "But I do need you."

"So, I'm your dirty little secret?" Jason quips.

"You want to help us, this is the way it's gonna be. I can only fight one war at a time."

Sam remains silent, not daring to get in the middle of the two of them. It's the smart decision because there's no way everyone will trust him. Everyone will start fighting and arguing and nothing will get done. Crane will win just because there's a fight between the Titans, which is probably what he wants anyway. It might hurt Jason, but it is the only way this can even work.

"When do you need me?" Jason agrees with a bit of reluctance in his voice.

"If you don't hear from me before, meet me back here in three hours. Got it?" Dick asks.

"Yeah." Jason says quietly.

"You, too." Dick looks back at Sam.

"Why do I have to get out?" Sam lets out a scoff as Jason quickly looks back at her, wondering what she did this time to piss off the rest of the Titans.

"Safety, precautions, you two work well together." Dick states. "Three hours."

"Got it." Sam nods her head once before she exits the vehicle with Jason.

Once their doors are shut, Dick drives off. Sam looks over to him and Jason dodges her stare, looking to the side. It's the shame that's eating at him. Falling for all of Crane's lies, getting Dick killed, having to be kept a secret. He was once a Titan and now they can't know he's even helping. Instead, Dick has Sam here because they work well together, sure, but also to make sure Jason doesn't back out of it. He's not even mad because he'd do the same thing but it hurts and he feels so painfully guilty for everything. He's destroyed everything.

"Come on." Jason jerks his head to the right. "Safe house is close." Jason starts walking, helmet in hand while Sam follows him.

The silence between them builds like a sturdy brick wall. It's in the silence that Sam has time to process everything. It's always the silence that acts as a marinade for all things fueled with anger and misery. Dick might be alive and Jason might be alive but Jason is the reason Dick died in the first place. He could have stopped. For two seconds, Jason could have called a truce and he didn't and Dick died for it. There never would have been a crowd. The kid with the gun wouldn't have been there and Dick wouldn't have gotten shot. Jason didn't pull the trigger, but he didn't have to. Dick stood there and told Jason the reason Dick won't kill him is because he knows what it's like to die. Well, so does Jason so why the fuck didn't Jason take that into consideration?

She knows it was the drug but it bites and gnaws at her anyway because watching everyone she cares about die is hacking away at her.

"You alright?" Jason finally asks. Sam being completely silent never sits quite well with him. There is nothing that sounds more deadly than Sam's silence in moments like these.

"I don't know, Jay. I just watched Dick die and come back to life. What the fuck do you think?" Sam snaps without processing her thought.

"The fuck you mad at me for now?" Jason snaps back. "I didn't pull the fucking trigger. I went there to talk." Jason barks, really not wanting to be reprimanded at the moment. He knows.

"You know what? You might as well have, Jason." Sam snaps, her steps becoming harder against the pavement. "You could have stopped at any point and told him you just wanted to talk and explain it but you didn't. Not one part of you decided to do that. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why. So, Dick was killed because of that. You didn't do it. But that kid thinks he did the right thing to protect you. Dick wasn't even the enemy. So, that's shit." Sam lets her own anger get the best of her, not even to tear him a part for it but just because she needs to yell about it.

"It's not my fucking fault." Jason groans. "I didn't ask anyone to do that." Jason defends himself, knowing he's wrong.

"You don't have to!" Sam finally yells. "People will follow you like a damn cult because you command attention when you walk into a room. You are charismatic and enthralling. They have always been some of your best qualities but in this instance, it wasn't good. They believe in you, Jay." Sam looks back over to him as Jason hangs his head, watching his feet hit the wet pavement. "But, Crane turned the city against the Titans, to follow you." Sam looks forward as she shakes her head. "I know I told you to work with him, but it didn't have to get to you and Dick fighting and him dying. It never had to end that way. You could turn them back to the right side." Sam's voice goes quiet with her last sentence earning her a glance from Jason.

"I didn't think he'd listen, alright? He was the one that set up the flash bang and came in ready for a fight. I didn't think it was any use and I didn't know those fucking people would be there. I..." Jason swallows his own words, not wanting to get into it.

Sam being willing to die for him is one thing. He hates it. He'd never let her if he could help it, especially having experienced what it's like to die. He would never. But, she loves him. She has seen him at his good and bad. She's seen everything in between. Jason has fully exposed all of himself to her in every way anyone possibly could. And she would die for him. She would kill for him. No questions asked because she knows Jason Todd better than he knows himself half the time. But these random people? They don't know him. Why the fuck would they kill someone for him? Why would they do that?

"I'm sorry, alright?" Jason's voice comes back down. "I know. I could have fucking done something and I didn't." Jason's saw clenches. "I'm fucking trying." His words are firm but there's a hopelessness in them.

"I know." Sam says quietly.

"I have a lot to make up for and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do but I promise, I'm trying. I just...fucked it up." Jason's breath leaves his lips, the fog coming out in a haunting blow.

"I know...I just..." Sam shakes her head. "I'm just really worried about all of you, all the time. You, Gar, Dick. You guys are the closest people to me besides Molly and I just...you're very important to me and this could be something so good and it was." Sam sucks in a breath, the cold air starting to dry out her throat. "And I think we all deserve it. The Titans."

"Yeah..." Jason's shoulders slouch forward. "You do." Jason says quietly, keeping his stare ahead him even as Sam looks over to him.

Sam has always deserved better than anything Gotham has given her. All this city has done is take everything she cares about. And she only even started killing because of him. Even when Jason knows there's more to it, that was Sam's breaking point. She's not shunned from being a Titan and maybe that'd be better for her.

"If you want to be a Titan after all of this, you should." Jason states in his way where he tries to sound really casual to hide his real feelings.

Sam snaps her attention back to him. "Why would I do that?" She nearly scoffs at the very idea, especially coming from him.

"You're good at it and you like it. They like you and you fit in." Jason answers with ease, as if it were something he'd thought about more than a few times. "Why trap yourself here if you don't have to?"

It's as if the air is being pulled from her lungs by rusty hooks. How could he say that? He's here. Home is here. Molly is here. It's not a trap being in Gotham. Coming back, coming home, was a choice she made all on her own and not a single ounce of her even regrets it. She can't regret it. She got to reunite with Molly and while it has been agonizing lately, she had some of her best and favorite moments with Jason here. She got to make a different life again. It felt like home again. Here. Not in San Francisco. Why would he tell her to be a Titan?

"You want me to be a Titan?" Sam asks, doing her best to hide the hurt in her voice.

"Not up to me." Jason shrugs his shoulders casually, still keeping his stare away from her.

"That's not what I asked." Sam bites back, keeping her stare on him.

Jason looks back over to her as they reach the building. Jason opens the door for her, leading her in first before he shuts and locks the door behind them. Sam stands directly in front of him so he can't move once the door is shut. He doesn't get to avoid this conversation when he's the one that brought it up. If he wants her to leave, then he can tell her and then deal with the fact she will not.

"Answer me." Sam demands.

Jason looks to the right before looking back at her. He always thought she would anyway. After everything, it only makes sense to him for her to leave. Sam said San Francisco caused her so much pain that she didn't want to be there anymore. But, Gotham has caused her so much pain, she's not even the same person she was a month ago. He doesn't want her to leave but he wants her to be happy and he worries that just won't be here. Not with the track record.

"I always thought you would." Jason shrugs as his voice almost trails off.

"Because?" Sam searches as her brows furrow. "What? I'd get bored of you? Tired of you?" Sam's eyes scan his face, knowing all of his insecurities. He can't hide from her like he can with everyone else.

Jason looks to the ground and back to her with the shrug of his shoulders. "No." Jason answers. "You didn't come back for me. Thought you'd figure it out and just...go back."

Sam narrows her eyes. "That's not the full reason." Sam says softly. "Tell me."

Jason shifts his weight, favoring his bad leg as it starts to ache. He shakes his head with defeat. "Just want you to be happy, Sammy." Jason says honestly. "This place is fucking shit and you know it. And you hate Bruce but you don't wanna give this up. Bruce doesn't like other vigilantes in the city and..." Jason's heart breaks as he watches Sam's expression fall. "Yeah, I thought you'd leave." Jason nods his head.

"Jay, I told--"

"Because I died." Jason cuts her off with a scoff. "That day on the roof, I fucking destroyed you. I died and it completely destroyed you. When you found out about the drug and Crane, then everything else, I thought you'd fucking leave."

"Yeah," Sam nods quickly as her eyes turn glassy. "It did destroy me. The whole damn thing hurt but that doesn't mean I want to leave. It doesn't mean I want to be a Titan." Sam's voice is almost pleading with him to not push without her ever saying it. "This is my home and Molly is here and my mom is buried here and you are here.I don't care if we're not together, you're here. The city is a shitshow so it needs us. It needs us and Batman to help."

"Are you sure?" Jason questions. "I mean, look at this place. I just want you to be happy. I don't fucking know."

Sam lets out a sigh. "You didn't answer the question." Sam states as Jason opens his mouth. "I asked if you wanted me to. You just said you always thought I'd leave."

Jason shakes his head. "Of course not." Jason lets out a scoff, not even trying to lie or dodge it anymore.

"Good cause I'm not leaving, Jay." Sam nods her head. "I was always happiest here with you." Her words are barely above a whisper as she looks to the floor. "So," Sam pulls in a breath. "You don't have that to worry about. I was gonna stay anyway, no plans to leave again. Tired of running." Sam's voice turns airy, almost hopeful with her last sentence.

"I don't get you." Jason lets out a laugh that's filled with relief.

"Yeah, you do." Sam laughs softly. "You're the only one whoever did." She shrugs her shoulders, moving past him to the stairs. "You know, you and Dick could probably bond over your whole dying experience now. Probably bring you closer." Sam offers with sarcasm earning a groan and then a laugh as Jason walks over to her.

"Oh, yeah? We sit down for a family dinner at the manor and tell Bruce all about it? Like a fucking field trip?" Jason quips right back as the two of them make their way upstairs.

"Yeah!" Sam laughs. "Hear me out, it might freak Bruce out which would be funny."

Jason shakes his head with a soft chuckle. "Us getting along? Yeah, that'll freak Bruce out."

Sam nudges him lightly. "That'll freak everyone out, actually."

The two of them go upstairs into Jason's makeshift bedroom. Sam heads over to the window to look at the people down below. Everyone is fending for themselves and there are still fires in the streets. There aren't any cars this time. There are always cars.

Sam leans against the wall and slides down, keeping her head turned towards the window as Jason keeps his distance, watching her closely as he traps himself in his own head again. While Sam has been on Jason's side, she's also actively been trying to make sure the Titans are at a distance and safe from Jason. Sam can say she's always been on Jason's side this whole time and maybe that's true, but she also was entirely in the middle. It was never Titans or Jason for her. She was always determined to cut the wire. It was always going to be all of them even if it killed her.

Jason remembers her willing to die for him, how terrifying that was. No one in his entire life was ever willin to do that. Maybe Bruce would have but it's something Jason isn't sure of. He wa sure of Sam. Deathstroke proved that and Sam confirmed it that night. Sam would die for him because she loves him and Jason always thought that was absurd, even if he'd die for her, too. Dying for her seemed to be the easiest thing he would do if it came to it. But Sam dying for him? Insane. It had to be insanity but these past two weeks have taught him something else entirely.

Sam would just die for anyone she loved if that's what it took.

There is not a doubt in Jason's mind that Sam would put her life in danger for Gar. Of course, she would. He's Gar. Everyone would probably do it. There's Molly and Jason actually feels bad for anyone who would even think of coming after her. She'd die for Tim because of course she would. She cares about him and Tim is determined and smart. Krypto is no question. Sam loved Donna and thought she was the coolest Titan, that's easy. Sam thought Kory was one of the coolest and most badass people she'd ever met while also being immensely kind. She told Jason once that the Titans need her. So, she'd die for her, too. Jason isn't entirely sure of the big reason she'd save Conner or Dawn or Hank but he knows she would. And then there's Dick. She'd save Dick because he's the leader. Because he saved her life. Because she looks up to him. Because he's important to everyone.

It's not that Sam would die for Jason. It's that Sam would die for anyone she loves if it ever came to it. Jason would be lying if he said doesn't admire that. Though, he wonders if that's what will be her last straw or if she'll understand one day that she shouldn't have to die for the people she cares about. Jason swore he'd die for her. That part was easy but the more time that passes, the more he's realizing he wants to live for her. Living is harder. He hopes Sam learns that, too. She deserves to want to live for someone and for herself.

"What's with the symbol?" Sam snaps Jason from his thoughts.

"What?" Jason questions, almost doing a double take.

"The rip off bat symbol. Your idea or Crane's?" Sam asks bluntly as her eyes dart between his and the red symbol on his chest.

Jason looks down to his chest where the red symbol stares up at him. "Mine." Jason chuckles softly, a devilish grin pushing itself onto his lips. "Why?" He asks and he walks over to the other side of the window from her, sliding down the wall and matching her position.

Sam lets out a soft laugh as she shrugs. "Funny that's what you would pick given you thought he didn't kill the Joker for you." Sam pulls in a breath. "Why?"

Jason shrugs. "Fuck Bruce." Jason answers easily as if the answer were so simple anyone could have figured it out, as if he isn't neglecting the entire explanation.

The bat symbol represents Bruce's way of thinking. Inciting fear into the hearts of everyone so they don't do bad things. It works, sometimes. But, it doesn't work enough. The bat symbol represents a certain moral compass where even under the worst of circumstances, killing is still wrong. It represents Bruce. Jason wanted something to almost mock him, a fuck you and watch this to Bruce. Fear doesn't always work. It's not the best way. For Jason, he needed something to spite Bruce, prove his methods will be better because there should never be another Jason. Or Dick. Or any of them. No one should have to suffer the way all of them have. I was to represent everything Bruce refused to do for the greater good.

But Bruce did kill The Joker so Jason feels lost.

But then Sam offers this warm smile, one that says she understands every single thought in his mind without him ever having to explain.

"Yeah..." Sam sighs softly. "Fuck Bruce." Sam laughs softly. "I like it, by the way. Bruce only killed him for you. He never would have under any other circumstances." Sam pauses before she tilts her head to the left quickly, raises her brows. "Well, he might have for Dick, too. But, it would have to be one of you. So...good for you, Jay." Sam nods her head softly.

"Don't think it's fucked?"

"Oh, no it definitely is." Sam nods quickly. "I mean, just when I think I've got some daddy issues, I meet you and Dick. It's definitely fucked. But, like it anyway." Sam smiles but Jason doesn't quite match it. There's a sadness washing itself over his face. "I think Gotham will like it, too." She says quietly.

"Yeah? Why?" Jason repositions, pulling his right leg to his chest. "Because I'm charismatic and enthralling?" A touch of a grin finds itself on his lips.

"Fuck you, no." Sam laughs softly. "They're brainwashed but...I think it took one video because you've already been out there controlling the drug trade, looking to get into guns. You've taken out some really terrible people and are trying to get this shit under control. They already liked you."

"I also helped get a drug onto the streets and contributed to everything with Crane." Jason points out.

"Yeah, but you've been distancing yourself and you also tried to save Nightwing. I mean, you tried to kill him, too but you just tried to save him and they'll remember that. They'll figure out Crane brainwashed them and see you were also brainwashed."

"I guess we'll see." Jason lets out a scoff. "But, thanks, Sammy." Jason offers her a nod.

"Just being honest." Sam pulls in a breath as she moves her stare back to the window. "You gonna keep Red Hooding after this is over then?" Sam looks back at him with hopeful eyes.

Jason shrugs. "Yeah, maybe." Jason nods his head softly. "Especially with Bruce fucking MIA." Jason gives Sam a soft smile. "You gonna keep this shit up?"

"Absolutely." Sam nods with confidence. "You're right, I do like it. The vigilantism, I mean." Sam's smile turns kind and loving. "You're a good Red Hood. You're gonna help a lot of people, Jay." Her smile is warm and honest, filling Jason's entire chest with hope.

"So are you." Jason matches the smile before the two of them look to the window, falling into a comfortable silence.

Sam gets a text from Dick, apparently, the towers are back and running which is a relief but according to his text, Crane released some of his smoke downtown. He leaves the text with a warning for her and Jason to stay where they are until the smoke dies down or until he says otherwise. So, the two of them seem to be stuck here for the night.

They're safe here, entirely. They don't have to worry about the smoke or anyone coming to kill them. They're safe from it all for the first time in weeks and it's as if, weirdly as it is, they can breathe freely. It doesn't feel like their very breath can shatter the illusion of peace. They are allowed to breathe freely and openly.

Sam lets her mind wander anywhere but to the disaster outside. The more she's in these situations, the more she's learning to compartmentalize it. There is no choice in this. It has to be done otherwise it'll eat her. She wonders how Dick is able to do it so well. Surely that's how he's so good at being Nightwing. He isn't heartless, he just shelves what he needs to until after a mission. It's something she needs to be better at and so she sits here tonight and tries to do it. She focuses on anything but the disaster.

And then there's Jason who finds his mind going to their previous conversation a few minutes ago. Sam thinks he can be a hero again. He can use Red Hood for good, do it his own way. He lifts his head, looking over at her and how peaceful she looks. She really does trust him. She really does just believe in him, after everything, there's something in her that believes in him even when she absolutely should not.

Jason keeps his eyes on her, wondering if she's right. He hopes she is. Jason just wants to help. That's what he wants to do. That's all he's wanted to do. That was supposed to be the plan before Crane showed his true motive. Jason wants to help the innocent people Bruce overlooks. Sex workers, sexual assault victims, domestic violence survivors, children who are put in all of these situations. A lot of them never make it onto Bruce's radar. He's busy dealing with everything else and a lot more of it happens in places like Crime Alley, somewhere Bruce doesn't go unless it's the anniversary of his parents' death. Someone needs to keep them safe, too. He wants to control the crime because he does believe that's the right way. No one can stop crime. That's impossible. But, Jason thinks he can control it. It's worth a shot. Someone needs to try. That's what he wants to do.

Maybe he can do it.

"I can feel you staring at me, Jay." Sam states as she looks back over at him.

"Sorry." Jason mutters, feeling heat rush over his cheeks as he looks back outside.

"What's going inside that head of yours?" Sam asks.

Jason looks back to her, letting a beat pass before he settles on what to say. "Thanks for believing  in me and being here." Jason pulls in a breath.

"Always." Sam says softly before it goes quiet again.

Time ticks by and it's Sam that ends up glancing towards Jason. He's holding his bad leg to his chest, seeming to be absentmindedly massaging the muscle of his thigh with his thumbs as he keeps his stare out the window. The white streak reflects off the lights from the window and the bruises are bright red from Dick's fists and enimga sticks. But, he doesn't look stressed this time. He looks content for once. And Sam always thinks there's hope for him but his position confirms it.

Which, lets her mind wander back to how they were. It wanders back to the night outside Excellent Gotham. It was the right thing to do. There is good, there is bad, and there is all of this grey in between. Something might be the right thing to do, for the greater good, to save someone, but that doesn't always make it fair or just or painless. It was the right thing to do, to save Jason. But, she wonders in the silence of the night, what happens after then. The bell has been rung and they're dealing with it but it doesn't feel good. Being around him feels like she's trying to breathe through water. She doesn't want to give up on them. They're gonna take out Crane, the Titans are going to leave, Bruce will probably come back, and it'll start to fall back into a new normal. And Sam wants to know what kind of new normal that's going to be.

She wants the new normal to still be them.

But she doesn't even want to ask about it. She hurt him and it just doesn't feel right to ask even if it'll gnaw at her until she does.

"I can feel you staring." Jason quips, looking at her, saying it on purpose.

Sam rolls her eyes but the smile never reaches her eyes before it falls. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Sam mocks him, waving a hand haphazardly at him before she gets to her feet and stretches before she leans her back against the wall. Sam looks back at Jason and she can tell by the raise of his brows and his wide eyes, he's expecting her to elaborate. She lets out a defeated sigh. "Hey, Jay?"

"Yes?" Jason answers expectantly.

"Where do we stand?" Sam asks bluntly. "I mean....you and me." Sam nods once. "After all of this and everything. I'll follow your lead." Sam nods a few times. "Ball's in your court this time."

As much as Sam would like to go to the roof and scream her lungs out about how much she wants to be with him and how much she loves him, she knows she can't. None of that is fair to him. Jason Todd was murdered and then came back from the dead. He was used and abused and manipulated. He's not fine and he should be able to learn how to live now, rediscover who he is after all of this if he needs to. Sam telling him she wants to go right back to where they were before he died, sounds cruel. It's as if she won't give him a choice, like she expects him to just be normal and she doesn't. So, she asks him and she lets it be his decision because it should be. It was Sam that ended things anyway and it was her that betrayed, more than he betrayed her is the way she sees it.

Jason felt his heart in his throat. He hates this but he knows there is no other choice. He swears this one fucking time, he is not doing it to push. He is doing it for himself and for her. He owes her more. He owes her more than he has ever given her. He owes himself more.

Sam has said it over and over that Jason is loved and he is not alone, at the very least, he has her and he is loved by her. There is not a single day that he is not eternally grateful for her. But, that's not enough. It's not enough because, after everything, Jason still feels like he is not enough. He watches the chaos he has brought on all of these people who he cares about and who care about him. Someone who is enough, doesn't do that. And he died. The trauma of that isn't going to go away because she loves him and he loves her. He desperately wishes it were so simple, but it's not.

Jason swore he would never hurt her but he thinks about that night outside of Excellent Gotham and how it looked like it was ripping her to shreds to end things and to give up on him, even if she never meant it. She didn't deserve it. He needs to figure himself out and sort out some of this pain in his chest before it metastasizes more. He needs to just exist for a second and work on who he is after coming back. He owes it to himself and then he owes it to her. It's not fair to continue something if he isn't sure he'll be okay in the end of this. That's not fair to either of them.

So, as much as it physically pains him, he knows where they stand.

"Uh..." Jason pulls in a breath and Sam knows. Jason doesn't stutter often. "I really fucking hurt you." Jason nods his head.

"I hurt you..." Sam hangs her head in shame before looking back to him.

"Yeah, deserved it though." Jason lets out a scoff before he shakes his head. "Look," Jason starts as he pushes himself off the wall and walks over to Sam, standing in front of her. "I don't want to ever hurt you again." Jason states and Sam knows there is a but coming. This is not going to end the way she dreamed it would. "So, I think-think we need to sort our shit out."

Sam hangs her head, feeling the lump in her throat. It was as if the night she ended things, it wasn't quite real. He was high and she was mad. Then she rescued him and it's been kind of weird ever since. It didn't feel quite like they broke up but it didn't feel like they were together. It has felt like this weird state of in-between where they're tripping over each other trying to find the right footing. And now, it seems they've found it in an unknown territory. It's scary.

It's scary because after being rescued, Jason is one of the only things she knows. And she knows that it's going to be good for her to find herself without him, find out who she is outside of Jason and the Titans. It's for the best and she knows. But, she also knows Jason and Jason Todd has always loved to avoid things that are good for him. Good to him. What if he avoids this forever and this is really it?

"I'm sorry." Jason says quietly.

"It's okay." Sam nods up at him. "You're, uh, you're right. You died."

As much as she saw it coming, she feels blindsided. They are not together. He is not breaking up with her because she did it first. But, it feels that way anyway. He is right. They need time and space to heal and deal with everything that's happened. Maybe they could do that together but maybe they need to figure out who they are now. They are not the same people they were before he died. Jason Todd died that day and so did Sam. They need to just exist without each other even if it is the most painful thing either of them will ever do.

Jason nods. "Yeah," He scoffs. "It's not fucking fair to you or me if we jump into this shit again."

Sam nods softly. "Yeah...you're right." Sam pushes off the wall, closing the distance between them. "For what it's worth, I'm still sorry for everything that's happened to you, Jay." Sam sniffles softly.

"Thanks. I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you, too." Jason lets out a soft sigh, looking to the floor before he looks back to her. He will find his way back to her because she is everything he's ever wanted and he wants to deserve her one day. "Friends?" He asks, sticking out his hand with the quick raise of his brows.

"For now." Sam takes his hand in hers. "We'll find our way back." She says softly but with certainty.

"Hope so." Jason quips right back with a cheeky grin. "I'll miss you being up my ass all the time."

Sam rolls her eyes as a smile starts to fade over her lips. "Shut the fuck up." She groans,  making Jason chuckle softly. "You're my favorite person, ya know?"

"And you're mine." Jason says simply, without hesitance.

The room falls silent, the two of them still holding each other's hand right in the middle of them. It's as if they aren't sure how to backtrack. How do they go back to being friends? They were never meant to be friends. There was always something more there. Something strong and tender, throbbing and beating like a desperate heart pumping blood through an open artery. They have stained each other with every scar and crumb of themselves. How do they take it back? How do they cleanse themselves and try again? Can they even do it?

Jason's grip on her hand tightens and he doesn't want to leave it like that. As friends. The very idea is bitter and stale. He knows it's for the best. For the first time in his life, he is doing something to better himself and protect her. It's not just self-destruction this time. He wants to be better for himself. He never wants to get here again. And to do that, he needs to do it on his own. Jason won't risk dragging her down with him again as he drowns himself. He's not sure if he'll come out the other end alive this time, but he's willing to try for himself. And then for her. But, that doesn't make this whole thing easier. He still loves her. He still wants her.

Sam feels it, too. She knows he wants to reach forward, pull her into him just for old times sake. They're going to defeat Crane tonight, one way or another, and then they'll go their separate ways for a little bit...as friends. But Sam thinks about the last time they had a proper kiss, before they knew they'd end up here. He was alive again. It was a kiss of relief. That's not how she wants it to end. She fully believes they will come together again but what if they don't?

The idea makes her stomach twist into knots. And she knows Jason isn't going to act on it, out of respect for her. It's the way his hand squeezes hers, the way he won't let go and how he has that dark but kind look in his eyes. The way he is intentionally holding his stance just enough away as if he'll walk into a bear trap with one step forward. He'll never act on it out of respect for her space so when Jason finally starts to move away, Sam pulls him back.

Jason eyes her and then the very corner of Sam's mouth twitches up as she squeezes his hand, pulling him just a little closer to her. Sam moves her eyes up with the raise of her brows before looking back to him and then she shrugs effortlessly.

Jason shakes his head. "Fuck it." Jason lets out in a single breath before dropping her hand and cupping her face, slamming his lips against hers.