The next day Jason is with Crane. Jason is still reeling from last night. Dick knows pretty much everything now and that wasn't a part of the plan. Jason thinks it's only a matter of time before Dick shows back up and destroys the entire thing. It's only a matter of time before Dick ruins everything all over again. And he thinks about Sam and how mad and worried she was. It's all growing a bit too heavy for him, even with the drug. But, he pushes Crane anyway.

The sooner they get this plan in action, the better. The sooner Jason can take care of Dick, the better. But, Crane isn't having any of it. Crane wants to go through with his plan but he's also not telling Jason a single thing about it. It's like Jason is just a piece in his game, a pawn. Doing all of the bidding and only knowing what's going on when he actually needs to in order to do Crane's bidding. But, Jason shakes that thought off because Crane cares about him. Crane wouldn't be just using him. Right?

"I met that girl of yours." Crane states, getting tired of Jason's pestering about going after Dick.

"I heard." Jason quips, his voice snippy and harsh.

"She is a handful, isn't she?"

Jason knows what he's doing and he won't. He can be as high as Crane wants him to be but he still has a line. And that line is her. It is always her. Anyone but her.

"I can handle her." Jason states.

"Can you? You can fight better than her. You've had the training. But, like Dick Grayson, she walked away from last night." Crane lets out a wistful sigh. "And she threatened to kill me." Crane looks to be hurt as the words leave his lips. Jason knows better than to think someone threatening Crane's life would hurt his feelings. "Doesn't it bother you that her and Bruce didn't kill the Joker for you?" Crane asks and Jason's eyes land on the floor. "I mean," Crane lets out another sigh. "That maniac killed you and they couldn't be bothered to kill him for you. Sam is at least a killer now but not for you. I, though, I brought you back." Crane gives Jason a sinister smile as he places a hand on his shoulder.

Jason hates it because Crane makes a point. Bruce couldn't even bend his morals for him. Bruce said he was his son and he took him in, he let him be Robin. Bruce was supposed to protect him and everyone else. But, then he couldn't even kill the Joker. He's not asking him to kill Two-face or The Riddler or even Crane, but he should have killed the Joker for him. That's the part that hurts. And Sam turns around and starts taking out lowlives but she didn't even hit the Joker first. Not even for him and she's been wanting his blood on her hands since her mom died. But, somehow, that wasn't enough for even her. Jason, though, does know someone killed him. And he knows what Sam said about what him dying did to her. He thinks that person just beat her to it. Bruce though, even Dick. Dick could have killed him, too and he didn't. No one that claims to care about him at all killed the Joker for him and none of them brought him back. Jonathan Crane brought him back from the dead. Not the people who care bout him.

"This isn't about her. It's about Dick." Jason shakes his head because she's still the line. Despite it all, she's the line he won't cross.

Jason knows, under the haze of the drug, Sam would have brought him back from the dead if she knew how. And if it were something she knew he'd want. Sam would have fought and chewed into fate and the Reaper with nothing but her bare hands just to bring him back. She would have killed the Joker if someone didn't beat her to it. After everything going on, Sam is still the one person who hasn't given up on him.

She is the line.

"See, that's your problem. It's not just about Dick Grayson. It's about all of Gotham and your girlfriend is a part of that."

"Okay." Jason states, unsure where else he could possibly be going with this.

"She's going to be a problem, just like that older brother of yours." Crane warns as he turns back around as he walks into the little office building. "She'll come after me eventually and then I bet she'll come after you, with Dick Grayson at her side."

"She's not a problem." Jason defends.

She could have killed him last night. If the first knife would have missed, she would have had a second one already in the air on its way to his jugular. If Sam wants someone dead with a knife, she's more than capable but instead, she didn't. Sam has had opportunities to kill him and fight him at full force but she doesn't. She isn't the problem, no matter what Crane says.

"Isn't she? She still wants you to join their side and turn me in, the person who has helped you the most. Haven't you thought about her using you? Her fear drove her to you and now she's lost. She doesn't know who is without you because she got to try to fix you and distract herself from it. You got her to live in that fancy mansion." Crane says and Jason, right about now, is pretty glad he left out more about her.

Crane pushes sometimes for more information but Jason deflects and pulls information about anyone else he can. Jason won't let Crane target her. That's not how this partnership is going to work. It doesn't matter. Jason Todd doesn't make very many promises, but he made a promise to her and he's not breaking it. She doesn't break her promises to him.

"She's not using me. I can get her to join our side." Jason states, his voice growing more annoyed.

"Then why haven't you?"

"That wasn't part of the plan." Jason lies.

"If I told you to give her the drug and help us, would you?" Crane asks, his brows slightly furrowing with the question because he's already pretty sure he knows the answer.

Crane doesn't know Sam already took the drug. Crane also doesn't know the real reason Jason burned down his lab. Jason told Crane he was just covering his tracks after Hank. He knew Dick would be digging deeper and he might find it. That isn't actually a complete lie, that's probably what would have happened if Dick didn't already find it. But, the real reason was that he didn't want Sam going back and making more of it and taking it. He feels the comedown and sure, while he's high or when he's desperate not to feel that way again, it feels worth it. In those moments it always feels worth it but Sam was always better with dealing with her shit than he was. He doesn't want her involved with Crane and he doesn't want her addicted to the drug. She deserves better.

He'd never give her the drug. He'd never ask her to work alongside Crane.

"Yeah, she would do it. She's just as fucked up as I was." Jason lies through his teeth, shifting his weight to his right foot.

Crane nods his head but he met Sam. She's not scared, not in the way Jason was. He can tell she has her own issues but she is not like Jason when Jason showed up at Arkham. "Maybe she's not who you thought she was." Crane sighs. "You should really be focused on taking care of her with Dick, if that's your goal that is."

"No." Jason states firmly. "Not happening." Jason scoffs. "She's not a fucking problem. She fights with Dick all the damn time and she fought him last night with me. Nothing to worry about." Jason shakes his head, still a little confused what that was even about.

"Oh, I'm not worried." Crane states. "You are. If you don't take care of her, you'll always be stuck here. You'll never be able to get to your full potential because you're too worried about what she'll do. Maybe what she'll think of you. Though, I have to say, she is not pleased with you over that Hawk fellow."

"And she still fought Dick for me." Jason urges. "Clearly, she doesn't have that big of a problem with it."

"I'm just giving you my advice. You want to be fearless but you're still scared of what she'll do and what she thinks of you." Crane tsks.

"I'm not taking care of her. I want to go after Dick. Look, we know the drug works. I'm exhibit one." Jason states, trying to deflect from Sam. It can't be her.

"You'll see, my boy." Crane states.

The night before rings through Sam's head like a migraine she can't quit. They got back pretty later, or rather early in the morning. Dick was instant he could take care of the gunshot wound on his own. He'd done it before, apparently. So, that left Sam to her room alone and sleeping didn't come too easy.

They could have had both of them but Dick just wouldn't listen and Jason doesn't listen and she's too damn loyal to him. If it were anyone else, she could have thrown a knife to injure them and they would have had him and then could have gotten Crane. But, it's Jason and she doesn't want to hurt him even if hurting him could bring him back and end up being for his own good. She just won't take the risk. And it sucks. And then she almost got shot because Jason and Dick can't work out their problems like normal people with an actual conversation. She's stuck in the middle of the two of them and she doesn't even know how the hell that happened.

And then there's the way Jason looked at her when she asked him to come home.

The drug must have been wearing off because he looked scared and for the life of her, she doesn't know why he would be so scared to come home. Yes, he killed Hank and that's bad but everyone attacked Gar while possessed and moved on from that. Gar killed people when he was being controlled. Jason is killing people while he's manipulated and drugged. None of them have attempted to do anything about any of the people Sam has killed. Dick just let Bruce walk right out after killing the Joker. Jason shouldn't be scared to come home and she feels horrible he clearly does. Getting him back just got a lot more difficult it seems and she's starting to second guess where she should stand in all of it.

Sam walks into the Batcave where she finds Gar and Kory, looking to be researching something on the Batcomputer. Sam's best guess is they're trying to track down Jason. That's the only thing anyone is doing these days anyway.

"There you are!" Gar yells with excitement and relief as he rushes to Sam.

Gar's been worried. Her and Dick went off without an explanation and didn't come back last night. Neither of them could even be bothered to answer a phone or keep the phones on for that matter. Kory hadn't heard anything and neither did Connor. He's relieved to see she's okay even if she does look a little out of it.

"Oh, yeah, hey." Sam lets out a sigh as Gar brings her in for a hug.

"Where were you last night?" Kory questions. "And where is Dick?"

"And what happened?" Gar asks as he pulls away.

Sam furrows her brows, looking between them as her heart misses a beat. "W-what do you mean?"

Have they really not seen Dick? Sam might not have slept long or well but Dick is still, somehow, usually always awake. At least here like maybe the manor is haunting him in its own way. But, Kory and Gar are watching her expectantly and Sam worries maybe something went wrong with the whole gunshot thing.

"I don't think it's some coincidence you and Dick disappeared yesterday and stopped answering your phones." Kory crosses her arms.

Sam's jaw opens and closes a few times. "Uh..I mean...yeah..." Sam offers a yikes expression, squinting her eye slightly.

"Explain, now." Kory states sternly.

"Well, uh, you see...you haven't seen Dick or...heard from him?" Sam asks slowly.

"No." Kory grows more annoyed by the second.

"Not since he dropped Dawn off." Gar offers, hoping Sam gets to the point soon.

Sam sucks in a breath as she tugs her sleeves over her hands. "Uh, yeah...so Dick got, uh shot. But, he was fine."

"So, you just went to bed?!" Gar asks.

"And you didn't think to come get me? Or any of us?" Kory demands.

"He said he had it and he's been shot before. I wasn't gonna argue with him."

"Since when? You argue with him all the time." Gar shakes his head in disbelief. Of all times Sam isn't going to argue with Dick, it's when he's shot. He could be bleeding out somewhere.

"Yes, I was not in the mood last night." Sam defends her stance as regret starts to chew at her stomach.

Kory lets out a groan. "And where did you last see him?"

"In the living room? Before I went to bed." Sam states but before she starts giving up more answers, the one and only finally makes his way into the Batcave. "Oh, thank fuck." Sam lets out a breath of relief.

"What happened!?" Kory asks quickly, immediately rushing over to Dick who's a little unsteady on his feet.

Sam and Gar watch the two of them and Sam can't help the grin that comes to her lips. Rachel made jokes about the two of them and said she thought it was weird but they'd be cute together. Sam gets it now. Kory ran to him in the same Sam would have if it were Jason. Dick is clearly the idiot between the two of them.

Sam eyes Gar. "Bet you ten bucks it'll be Kory to close the deal when she gets tired of waiting for him to get his shit together."

"I'm not gonna bet on that." Gar whispers with a soft grimace.

"Because you'll lose?" Sam raises, offering him a smirk.

"Yes." Gar chuckles. "I don't know if Dick is capable of having that conversation unprovoked."

Sam nods, rolling her eyes. "Batboys." Sam lets out a sigh. "Okay, I give Kory a month."

"Four, tops." Gar sticks out his hand and Sam shakes it with a soft laugh before they follow Kory and Dick to the medbay.

Dick takes off his shirt and reveals a gunshot wound on the upper left side of his chest. Sam furrows her brows. It looks nasty and his entire chest is covered in blood, most of it dry but some of it still looks fresh. Kory shakes her head, grabbing the supplies to stitch up the wound. Gar and Sam watch for a few minutes, mostly grimacing at the sight of it.

"Dude, that looks horrible." Gar scrunches his nose.

"Five inches over and we'd be burying another body." Kory says as she starts addressing the wound.

"Dude, seriously?" Sam huffs. "You said you'd take care of that." Sam rolls her eyes. She wonders how he could be so dumb. And reckless. It's not like it's a cut or a scrape. It's a literal gunshot wound close to his heart.

Kory stops what she's doing to look at Sam, Gar nearly snapping his head at Sam. Dick just glares at her, looking more annoyed than usual.

"What?" Sam asks, looking between all of them with wide eyes. "What'd I do now?"

"Let him go to bed with a gunshot wound and not tell anyone." Gar mutters under his breath, making Sam snap her entire attention on him. That's uncharacteristic.

"I'm not gonna force someone to let me help clean up their wounds." Sam mutters right back, earning a glare of disbelief from Gar. "Okay, unless it's Jaon or you." Sam snips back. "Sorry." Her eyes widen, looking between the three of them.

Gar keeps his stare on Sam. They're supposed to be friends and she's not looping him to anything anymore. Her and Dick go off to fuck knows where and Dick almost gets killed. They're trying to find Jason since he went dark and these two can't be bothered to work as a team with the team. It's ridiculous. They're supposed to be a family.

"Explain." Kory warms, looking between Sam and Dick.

"It's nothing." Dick states, watching Kory stitch the wound.

"Nothing?!" Kory yells. "You two went off last night without a word! We deserve an explanation."

Dick pauses and Sam is not about to be on Kory's bad side. If Dick wants to piss Kory off, that's all on him. Sam does not want to do that. Kory is usually very nice but Sam has a feeling being on her bad side could get ugly. Plus, it's Kory.

"Jason's working with Jonathan Crane so we kidnapped him and took him to the cabin to lure Jason there. Then Jason and Dick started fighting and I helped. And then a helicopter came and Dick got shot." Sam explains simply.

The room falls silent for a few seconds as everyone looks between Sam and Dick. Kory wants to know why everyone who manages to get involved with Bruce Wayne ends up being some of the most reckless people she's ever encountered. Gar is piecing together everything Sam has told him and now he's even more frustrated. They went after Scarecrow and decided they could take him on and Jason on their own without any issues. They didn't even have a backup plan. And Gar is realizing Sam not only took Jason's drug, but if it's Scarecrow, it was probably something he designed. Sam took a drug Scarecrow designed and knew that. Then neglected to tell everyone that piece of information.

They both could have died last night and everyone is supposed to just be normal about that. After everything.

"Wow, thanks." Dick quips.

"I'm not gonna disobey Kory. That's all you." Sam shakes her head as she crosses her arms over her chest but she can feel Gar's eyes still boring into her.

"And whose side were you even on last night, by the way?" Dick questions.

"You two morons almost fucking shot me!" Sam yells. "I was on your side. Hello? Do you not remember that and then you got the first swing on him. I was with you guys until you two almost shot me."

"That was Jason." Dick argues. "He pulled the trigger, not me."

"Because you grabbed his arm! It was aimed at you originally, not me." Sam lets out a scoff.

"Enough." Kory warns, growing tired of the back and forth. The specifics of the fight last night don't matter right now when she's trying to fix a bullet wound that could have been fatal. She is so sick of losing people. "Barbara's responsible for this?" Kory asks.

"One of her snipers is, yeah." Dick answers.

"On her orders, I'm sure." Kory states. "Maybe I should go and have a word with her."

"I think there's been enough bloodshed for today." Gar adds in. "That was way too close, man." Gar's voice is soft but drenched in worry.

"I almost had him." Dick defends.

"No, I had him." Sam protests. "I had a knife ready to go. He never would have done it. I could have gotten him just fine but then you had to take the damn gun and I almost got shot." Sam pauses for a second and if Dick would have just trusted her, maybe they really could have gotten him back. "We almost had him."

"Neither of you are listening!" Kory yells, looking between the two of them. "You scared us. Going out on your own, getting shot. It's not okay."

"I didn't want to put you guys at risk." Dick says. "Sam was here when I got the call. She's the only one that ever got through to Jason before. That's the only reason she went." Dick states calmly while Gar looks back at Sam as if waiting for her to explain why she didn't at least tell him.

"I'm not dragging you into it." Sam looks to Gar as she shrugs her shoulders.

"Oh, bullshit, guys." Gar spits and he's sick of this.

"Excuse me?" Dick questions.

"Dude, Hank blew up!" Gar yells. "Dawn left us forever, and Jason went dark. You're killing people!" Gar looks at Sam. "This family is dying and you two go out alone and Dick gets shot?" Gar yells before he starts growling lowly, his entire face turning green while his teeth turn into fangs. "Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouths!?"

"Gar?" Sam questions slowly as her eyes grow wide. She's never seen him this upset before.

"Gar!" Kory yells, trying to snap him out of it.

"Hey." Sam stands in front of him, putting her hands on his cheeks. "Hello?"

His eyes land on hers, refocusing his attention and the fire in his bones starts to calm. The green fades from his face as his fangs start to retract. He's so upset and hurt and terrified for the lives of the people he cares about most, he didn't even realize he was starting to transform and Gar doesn't lose control.

"What?" Gar asks, his eyes scanning her face.

"Take ten." Kory states and she also feels like they're starting to lose everyone.

"Come on." Sam offers her hand to him as she turns around to walk away. Gar joins his hand with hers. "Don't do anything fucking insane without looping me in." Sam looks over her shoulder at Dick, sending him a glare before she turns back around. "You were turning green." Sam whispers to Gar as they walk hand-in-hand across the Batcave.

"Because you guys could have died last night! I'm sick of losing this family!" His voice is panicked this time.

Gar might wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he is also very good at controlling his emotions. He never just loses control but he is today and it has Sam feeling even more guilty than she already was. Dick has Kory and Babs. Sam has Gar and Molly. Conner didn't really know Hank and he doesn't really know Jason. Gar, though, he knew Hank and was friends with Hank. Jason is his best friend and yet everyone has someone besides him. Everything has been a mess and Gar is the one left trying to fix everyone and help everyone but who helps him? 

"Come on." Sam tugs him along with her until they reach the living room. She lets go of his hand and takes a seat on the couch. "Yell at me for it. Go for it. You're scared and mad at us, fine. I get it. So, yell about it. I'm not gonna tell you to take ten. Turn green, turn into a tiger, go for it." Sam says with ease while Gar just stands in front of her, growing confused.

"What...? But I...I don't know..."

"Look, if you need to yell, do it. I deserve it and Dick does, too. You let me bitch to you for months. So, yell about how you're scared. I'm not gonna be hurt or mad. If it'll make you feel even a little bit better, do it. You take care of all of us, all the time. Take care of you." Sam offers and it's true. If he needs to yell about it, he should. She's not worried about him turning into a tiger. Gar deserves to let everything off of his chest. He always lets everyone else vent to him.

Gar's eyes narrow slightly. "This feels like a trick."

"It's not. I'd yell at Jason sometimes. He just kind of let me and then he'd yell at me. It was never that we were really yelling at each other, but just yelling. Because we were scared or mad. It usually helped. So, go for it." Sam shrugs softly. "I do deserve it though so ya know."

Gar lets out a breath and decides he'll take the opportunity. He is just scared for all of them. Losing Donna was really hard. And losing Jason was worse. He was close with Json and that sucks. And now he's back and he's dark, working with a maniac. Hank is gone, there's no getting him back. Gar just can't lose more people and he's pissed that Sam and Dick don't seem to care how any of them feel about it. They're supposed to look out for each other to make sure they don't get blown up or beaten to death but Dick and Sam just go off on their own without a word.

"I'm just mad at you guys and I'm scared you're gonna go out there and get yourselves killed." Gar groans. "We had no idea where you guys went. You guys left and didn't loop us in. We're supposed to be a team and I know you're between teams but we're at least supposed to be friends! Jason is my friend, too! I want to be on his side. But you guys aren't telling us anything! I don't want to lose any more people, Sam."

Sam is tired of everything and she is tired of keeping secrets especially when Gar is looking at her desperate for answers. He says she's between teams right now but what if she doesn't want to be anymore? Jason is going to do whatever Crane is putting him up to and Dick is going to off and do his own thing anyway. Nothing she's doing has been working anyway. Maybe she's tired of being the one in the middle.

"The call about Crane came in and we left. I was with Dick and I don't think he would have looped me in if I wasn't already there. You're my friend. You're right. And that's why I didn't tell you." Sam states. "It's just...I wanted to protect you, I guess. I, uh, I've been dodging Molly's calls and texts, too because of it. I'm with you, I'm sick of losing people. So, I didn't tell you."

"Okay and I get that but this is what we do." Gar urges. "We help each other and we help other people even when it's dangerous. It's dangerous but you and Dick still go out there alone. At least if we're all working as a team, we have a better shot of making it home."

Sam chews the inside of her cheek and she thinks her heart might stop beating soon. "I fought him, ya know? And I know what that was like because even though I was high, I'm sober now and I remember every detail. And it fucking sucks that happened. I didn't want that to happen to you. I don't want him to have a bigger reason to target you." Sam shakes her head and she shrugs slowly and weakly. "He's not your fight, Gar."

"Yeah, he is." Gar urges. "Why wouldn't he be? He's my best friend."

"Because I owe it to him." Sam nearly yells. "I owe it to him to fucking save him because he saved me more than once and I never fucking told him. I missed it. I will never forgive myself for it. I have to save him this time."

"You don't have to do it alone." Gar's voice nearly breaks and he desperately wishes that's something Sam would understand. She never has to do this stuff alone. That's part of being a team and a family. "He's our friend. He's our family. We weren't here and that sucks! But he's not just yours to save. What if you can't do it alone?" Gar asks. "You're up against a freaky drug, Jason who I don't think you could really fight if you had to, and Scarecrow!"

"I know." Sam nods her head. "I don't know, okay? I know I can't do it alone. I'm sorry. I really am." Sam sucks in a breath. And she's realizing she does a lot of things alone. It's as if it's easier to do them alone and only disappoint herself, risk her own life than drag other people in the middle of it. "Really, I'm sorry. I was...scared if I tell you then you have to tell Dick and what if that got Jason killed, ya know? I don't know. I'm sorry though."

"You can tell me." Gar says. "I know you're worried about him but you can tell me and I won't tell Dick." Gar stresses. "Not if there's a risk it'll get Jason killed again."

"I know." Sam nods. "I'll try harder. I'm really sorry, Gar." Sam lets out a breath. "I'm, uh, I'm gonna stay out of it today and take a breather. Might head to Excellent Gotham later, just so you know." Sam offers a soft smile.

"It's okay." Gar nods his head and offers a soft smile back. "You're going to be able to do that?"

"Yeah, I think better when I take a step back and I need to find a way to not be in the middle." Sam lets out a soft chuckle. "While not doing it alone. But, if something happens..."

"I'll let you know." Gar's eyes widen. "Thank you." Gar clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "That did help a little actually."

"Told you." Sam laughs softly as she gets to her feet. "Want some food now? Yelling really works up an appetite."

"Yeah okay." Gar chuckles as Sam gets up. "Oh! I can tell you about Blackfire."

"Blackfire?" Sam quirks a brow.

"Kory's sister. She was kind of tapping into Kory's head and she attacked me yesterday so we went to find Blackfire. Some scientist was holding her captive." Gar states excitedly.

"Um..." Sam stutters. "Well, we already have so much in common." Sam laughs softly. "But yeah, no, please explain literally all of that." Sam says eagerly as they make their way to the kitchen.

Jason and Crane are standing in the washing area of an operating room, watching as the surgeon and the nurses prep a kid for something. Jason isn't sure why Crane made him come here. He said he wanted to show Jason something. It's important he understands what's going on and Jason's part in all of this. If Jason were being honest, he thinks Crane is full of shit this time and he just wants to get out of here. This feels wrong.

Then it gets worse.

A woman comes in holding a sword and starts slicing up the surgeon and nurses. Jason's eyes grow wide as his breathing stops. Blood sprays over the walls and window right in front of Jason. A nurse backs against the window with her hands up and begs for her life only for the woman to slice her, too. This isn't right. Why would Crane do this? They're doctors. They're helping some kid live and Crane has this woman come in....and kill them. She takes something with her before looking at the window and offering Crane a nod. Jason questions if all of that bloodshed was for that one thing. She didn't have to kill them. But, she did.

"You are expendable. If you're not happy here, you are replaceable. Remember what I said." Crane says as he faces Jason and that's when Jason realizes this whole thing might be to help Crane, but the show was a threat.

Crane is withholding the drug from him today. Jason finished the inhaler and then Crane refused to give him more until they came here. He's withholding it on purpose, let Jason's fear kick in just enough to keep him in line and make him desperate. And it's working.

He's scared again.

He's scared he'll end up like the surgeons and nurses. He's scared Crane is the one who's going to turn on him. Red Hood is supposed to be the face of the whole plan. That was the point of creating that alter ego. Crane wants Jason to get rid of Sam and just do whatever he says, when he says it. He wants him to divert from the original plan while telling him nothing about what's actually going on. He can't do that. That is his line.

Crane can try all he wants but no amount of drugs or manipulation will get him to cross that line. HE might believe Crane sometimes about her, maybe he has a point sometimes. But, he won't kill her. Sam could have killed him at any point but she doesn't. Sam could have pushed him off a roof but she didn't. When Jason gets desperate he thinks of that because she's the one that stood on that ledge with him despite her fear of heights. She's the one that talked him down that day no one else and he owes her something for that alone. He won't go after her. He doesn't fucking care what Crane has to say about it, he won't do it.

The more he thinks about it, the more mad he gets. Crane thinks he's expendable, just like Bruce. But he's not. Why does everyone think he's so fucking expendable and replaceable? Why is nothing he does enough? He turned on all of his friends for Crane. He killed Hank for Crane. That's not enough to prove he's not replaceable and expensable? It's infuriating. He'll prove Crane wrong. If Crane wants to get to Sam, he'll have to go through him first. If Crane wants to wait to distribute the drug, that's a Crane problem, not a Jsaon problem. And he knows exactly what he can do to prove Crane he's not expendable and he can be trusted.

Later that night, Sam finds her way to Excellent Gotham. The other Titans have been busy trying to locate Crane and Jason. Sam kept herself busy with a scrapbook page while they did their own thing. It's not really all that nice distancing herself alone. She figures Excellent Gotham at least provides dinner and she can talk to Tim, someone who doesn't know everything that's going on and doesn't come with the feeling of guilt. If Tim wants to talk about who the Titans are and Batman and Robin, that's fine, too because it's what they always did. Before everything. It'll feel normal anyway. At least Excellent Gotham is a good distraction and lets Sam take the breather she needs. If she's going to be any help, she needs the step back. She's too close to it all.

So, she stands at the counter with Tim on the other side as a large smile consumes her face, a take-out counter resting open in front of Sam.

"Okay, okay, why Bruce Wayne? Like, okay if Dick were Robin, how does that make Bruce Batman?" Sam questions as Tim leans against the counter.

There's a genuine smile splitting Sam's face as she points at him with her fork before going in for another bite. She's been here a few hours, checking in with Gar every so often, a way to try and keep her word to him. And this is helping. They might be in a heated discussion about who everyone is but it feels normal. It doesn't feel heavy anymore. It's just a normal conversation with a friend and it doesn't feel fucking sad. It just feels warm.

Sam doesn't remember the last time she felt warm.

"He's rich." Tim scoffs, a grin plastered across his face. "And why else would he let Dick go out there?"

"Unless he doesn't know. Bruce is a busy man. Dick being Robin doesn't mean Bruce is Batman and that's if Dick is Robin." Sam argues with a laugh. "And that means you'd also be wrong about Jason."

"No, no, I know I'm right about Dick and Jason." Tim pauses, the smiling falling. "Is...is that okay to talk about? Jason?"

"Yeah." Sam nods with a soft smile. "I, uh, I like talking about him."

"Okay well," Tim picks right back with enthusiasm. Sam finds it amusing how into this he is. Especially since he's right. "He has to be Robin. He has the same fighting style. He walks the same way, how do you explain that?" Tim raises. "And Robin 1.0 and Robin 2.0 share the same height difference as Jason and Dick." Tim states. "If they're the Robins, Bruce has to be Batman."

"Unless!" Sam yells with a laugh, flinging her fork around. "Dick recruited Jason because they're brothers! Like I said, Bruce is busy. What if Batman is just some guy? Like Kick-Ass. Doesn't have to be some rich guy and maybe he's recruiting kids." Sam argues and truly, she's only defending Bruce because she thinks it's funny. And Dick would kill her if she outed fucking Batman.

"Batman can be Batman because he's rich." Tim laughs. "Uh, where has Bruce Wayne been? Where has Batman been? They disappeared the same time!" Tim laughs.

"Bruce is on business! Maybe there's a Justice League thing!" Sam's laugh reverberates through the restaurant. This feels like home. "How the fuck would I know where Batman is?" Sam puts her fork back in her food. "And that's still assuming Dick is Robin! He's not. Explain Dick having a stick up his ass. Robin is more free-spirited!"

"Sorry to interrupt this very important conversation." Mr. Drake states, walking back to the counter. "But Tim, where is Stephen? Get him on the damn phone and find out where he is. Or you're stuck here all night."

"Shit." Tim mutters, checking his phone to see Stephen's shift started an hour ago. "Okay, hold on." Tim says. "And we'll continue this." Tim laughs as he calls Stephen on FaceTime. "Where are you, man? Your shift started over an hour ago."

"Priorities. My girl's parents are out of town. I'll be there in a second." Stephen says through a grin.

"Seriously? I could have plans." Tim protests.

"What plans?" Sam snorts. "You're here with me arguing about Batman."

Stephen laughs. "Hey, Sam."

"Hey." Sam chimes.

"Whatever. Just hurry up." Tim says as he hangs up and three men walk into the restaurant.

Tim is about to start talking all over again with even more enthusiasm and proof but he gets a look at  Sam's face, eying the men as they walk further into the restaurant. Maybe she's just paranoid but they look like they're up to something. It's that their walk is steady, determined, but careless. Their eyes don't land on the menu or Tim or Mr. Drake. They're pointed at the register. And that's when Sam sees the reflection of metal sticking out of the last guy's waistband. He looks to her and then it starts.

The throbbing kicks in like a freight train. It's an armed robbery and they plan to go out swinging. Sam is quick, rushing to Tim as they pull out their guns. Gunfire surrounds and encompasses the restaurant as she tackles Tim to the floor behind one of the counters.

Tim leans against the counter, ducking his head with every echo of a gunshot. His eyes are on Sam as she takes a breath, as if to be debating what she's going to do. And Tim knows she knew this would happen. Sam was running to him before they had their guns pulled. And his thoughts are confirmed when she looks back to him with fury in her eyes.

It's been less than five seconds but it gives Sam enough time to gather herself. It's all she needs. These people are not going to walk in here and murder the people she cares about. They picked the wrong restaurant on the wrong night during one of the worst months of her life.

Sam lifts her hoodie, pulling a knife from the belt around her waist before she pops up from behind the counter.

"Ya fucking missed, assholes!" Sam yells over at them as the knife leaves her fingers, connecting with one of the guys' eyes, embedding itself deep into his skull as he drops to the ground.

The throbbing starts again from the side and she ducks down just before a shot comes her way. Sam takes another deep breath before grabbing another two knives and throwing one, hitting one of their jugulars. The last one still standing locks eyes with her, his gun pointed right at her. He has this...grin, one she almost swears she's seen before but she's never seen him before this. His breathing is steady and he actually looks relaxed while Sam has her arm ready and aimed with a knife, right at him.

His pupils are blown.

And then Sam's heart sinks because Crane is free on the streets and these guys came in here completely fearless. This one finds the whole damn thing amusing. Maybe he's just high on something else, or maybe Sam's right and Jason and Crane have moved to disruption. Excellent Gotham wouldn't just be a coincidence.

"Give me the money and it'll be over." He says so easily Sam nearly rolls her eyes.

"Kiss my ass." Sam throws the knife, hitting this one in the arm with the gun.

Then she throws another one, hitting him just below the eye. He drops to the ground in a hard thump, leaving the restaurant a glass and gun-shelled mess. The smell of gun metal seeps into the air while an eery and dense silence consumes the place.

Tim calls Sam's name not ten seconds after the last man drops. There's panic in his voice, a sense of dread. Sam rushes right over to him where he's against the food counter now, his dad leaning against the side of it. Blood seeps through Tim's hands are he tries to hold pressure on the wound. Sam kneels down, seeing Mr. Drake breathing heavily. Her eyes scan over him, quickly running over the crash course Jason gave her in gunshot wounds once.

"He's been shot!" Tim yells, desperation in his eyes as he looks to her, silently pleading for help. He knows she's Bluejay. He can only assume she has some sort of training in this. More than he's had.

Sam can feel the lump in her throat grow and the spinning of her head. Blood never really bothered her and it didn't with Dick. But, it was mostly dry with him earlier and this, right now, is fresh and active. Her bones feel like they're going to vibrate through her skin and her teeth grind together, trying to push every thought out of her mind that isn't first aid. 

She has to help.

"Okay, move." Sam urges as Tim pulls his hands away. Sam's hands are shakey as she lifts Mr. Drake's shirt, seeing the wound oozing and she thinks she might prefer knife wounds instead of gaping holes. "It's gonna take the ambulance ten to fifteen to get here," Sam rushes out. "So, we–"

"Is that...?" Tim asks, cutting Sam off as his eyes are on the window. He only even looked up to see if he saw someone for help or Stephen but instead of help, he just saw one person.

Jason Todd.

Sam looks up just in time to catch a glimpse of him before he turns around. This cannot really be happening right now. Jason Todd is supposed to be dead. It was all over Gotham City News. Bruce's newest adoptive son was killed in a freak accident. This is going to be a lot harder to explain to Tim and Sam wants to explode. If he's here, she's right.

Why the fuck would he be here and why the fuck would he target the place she frequents?

"Okay, keep pressure." Sam looks to the door, seeing Stephen rush in. "Stephen, call an ambulance and grab some towels!" She yells as she gets to her feet. "Stay here, hold pressure with the towels. I'll be right back." Sam's words nearly slur together as they come out as fast as her mouth will let them.

Sam rushes outside where she sees Jason, his back facing the open windows of the restaurant. She can't believe this. Of all the things he could do, of all the damn people in Gotham he could target, he really came for her. For her friend and his family. She can't fucking do it anymore. This is insane. If he wants to go after Dick, fine. Sibling rivalry bullshit taken to an extreme. But this? This is targeting innocent fucking people.

"Jason!" Sam seethes as she approaches him. "What. The. Fuck!?" She screams, nearly vibrating from the anger coursing through her veins.

But then Jason faces her.

The anger washes away as Sam's mouth opens, looking for words. There are dark circles under his eyes, a hollowed expression of the charism that used to radiate off of him. Maybe it's the dark lighting but she swears the green in his eyes is pale, his skin is pale. He looks like a shell of who he used to be. He's been acting like it but now...he really looks the part and she's getting the idea that something really bad is happening.

Jason's eyes are wide, tired, and exhausted but wide as he sees Sam come to a dead stop a few feet away from him. Why is she here? She's not supposed to be here.  She should be with Dick and the other Titans. He didn't see her inside of the restaurant. Not before the gunfire or after. How did he miss her? It can't be her. He just wanted to show Crane he was right. He wanted to prove he could do this. He chose Excellent Gotham on purpose, a way to show Crane it's a threat at Sam without being a real threat. He knows she went to Tim for help. She wasn't supposed to be here.

"Sammy?!" Jason yells, closing the rest of the distance between the two of them.

His hands immediately come to her face for just a second and they send a chill down Sam's spine. His fingers are like icicles and they're clammy, completely different than how they usually are and it breaks her heart. He keeps his right hand on her cheek, while the other hand goes to her waist. His eyes scan Sam over quickly, desperate to make sure she wasn't hurt in the gunfire. He didn't take the drug again yet, he was saving it for after. He's scared. Panicked. Desperate and guilty. She has blood on her hands and on her clothes. Can't be hers. Not her.

Please not her.

"Are you hurt?" Jason rushes but his voice is weak and fragile, echoed in pain.

Sam eyes him and she's stuck between wanting to punch him and wanting to kiss him in hopes to make it all better again. He's slipping so far away from her and she's scared how far he's willing to fall. Crane is doing something to him. He has to because he didn't look like this last night. He didn't even seem like he cared this much last night. Right at this exact moment, he feels like the old Jason. And Sam nearly gets sucked right back into his gravitational pull.

"What..." The venom is gone from her voice. "What is he doing to you?" Sam asks, her hand coming to his face. Not him. Not again.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jason's voice breaks.

"You know I'm always here. I was hanging out with Tim. Jason...what the hell is he giving you?" Sam looks him over and she notices him favoring his leg. She hasn't seen him much since he's been back from the dead but this is the first time since that first day she's noticing it. She always notices it.

"Are you hurt?" Jason asks again and he can feel his heartbeat in his throat. He wants to spit his own heart right onto the ground in hopes it'll stop the pain in his chest.

"No. I'm fine. It's not mine." Sam urges, catching him glancing at her free hand. "Jason, what is Crane giving you?"

Jason shakes his head, dropping his other hand to her waist. He misses her. He's been so damn high all the time, he's been able to ignore the longing in his chest. The one who always swore was his heart searching for hers. He could ignore it with ease but Crane has been keeping the drug close to his chest and this batch isn't very good. He can feel it more tonight. It's wearing off quicker. He can feel the worry for her and the care and the fact he fucking misses her. And the guilt for everything that's led them both here.

"Same shit." Jason grits his teeth. "You took it, you know." He hates the words leaving his lips because they sound bitter and angry but it's not at her. He just wants Sam to be okay and he wants to get the fuck out of here.

"No." Sam shakes her head, her voice soft. "Are you sure it's the same drug? Jason, you look...is he withholding it from you?" His skin is cold and clammy under her fingers and his hair is flatter than usual.

She's seen it, what withdrawal looks like. Sam saw it on the streets and that's what Jason looks like. Why would Crane do that? He's insane and he doesn't actually give a shit about Jason but Jason has been doing all of his bidding. Sam figures Jason is here with the drug. That's why he just stood here while Excellent Gotham was attacked, he probably gave it to them. Surely, that has to be part of the plan. But, if that's the case, then why does Jason look like he's been thrown headfirst into withdrawal? And why would Crane be doing this?

"Stay the fuck out of it. I have it. It's the same shit. It's fine." Jason grits his teeth. He wants to break. He wants to lose it for the first time since that first day on the roof with her. It feels like it's been months since and it's only been a week. And Sam looks at him with worry and fear and she's always had a way with getting Jason to breathe. But, he can't afford that right now. Not her. "Please."

"It's fine?" Sam spits. "You look terrible, Jason. It's not fucking fine."

"Yeah, it is." Jason removes his hand from her waist and digs in his coat pocket, pulling out a full inhaler. "Fine." He wiggles the inhaler for her to see, the liquid sloshing around in the clear canister.

After all of that, he's going to wave the drug around as if it's fucking easy. He's going to stand here and pretend like it's all fine and well when he almost got them shot? He's actually lost his damn mind now. If he's going to stick with Crane despite everything, fine. Sam has stuck by his side since day one all those months ago. Fine. If it's going to be like that, fine because she can't take it anymore. She loves him more than anything on this planet but this is not fucking fine. He's not fine and he has got to realize that. 

"Fine!?" Sam shakes her head, eyes bugging out of her head in disbelief. "Get off me." Sam shoves his hand off of her as she takes a step back. It's not fine. None of this is fucking fine. He's not fine. That drug isn't fine. Working with Crane isn't fine. Doing what he just did isn't fucking fine. It doesn't matter what his reason is. "You...you just got Tim's dad shot. Do you know that? What have the Drakes ever done to you?" She looks at him with disgust. "You could have gotten Tim shot, my friend. You could have gotten me shot!" Sam's voice cracks as she yells at him, her arm flying out to the side. She might be worried about him but she's not going to let him almost kill her friends because she's worried about him.

"That wasn't the plan!" Jason screams in desperation, his words clawing at the hope for her to believe him. "You went to Tim, didn't you!? I know you suck at figuring out codes! Tim is a genius. I just wanted to scare him!" Jason defends his stance, leaving out Crane wanting Jason to target Sam. If she knew this was a fake threat, maybe that'd be worse.

"Bullshit! Bull-fucking-shit! You gave them the drug! That's why you're here! You did this! You knew what would happen and you did it anyway!" Sam barks back. "You just wanted to scare him!? Then do it your damn fucking self, Jason! You just didn't want the blood on your damn hands so I couldn't blame you! But you did this!" Sam points a finger at him and Jason isn't sure he's seen her so mad and...disappointed.

"You weren't supposed to be here! I didn't think they'd shoot anyone!"

That's not a lie. He didn't think. He just did it. He knew they'd go in there and rob them. Maybe they'd have to close down for a little bit. For safety. He didn't think about anything else. Thanks to the drug Jason claims is helping him and curing him.

Sam doesn't fucking get it. It doesn't matter that she wasn't supposed to be here. That's a load of shit anyway. She is always here. Tim and his family are innocent, regardless on if Tim helped her or not. He doesn't know anything, not for sure. Jason's reasoning is flawed and it's cruel. It fucking hurts.

"Tim is my fucking friend! I don't care I wasn't supposed to be here! You....fuck." Sam lets out a desperate groan, tilting her head back. At some point, enough is enough and he isn't even taking responsibility for this. She just can't do this anymore. Sam looks back to him, eyes turning glassy. "I was fucking fine with you being a crime lord or whatever, taking out those fucks hurting people. But this?" Sam points at the restaurant. "These are innocent people! Hank was innocent! Dick is innocent! I can't fucking stand here and watch you kill innocent fucking people! And innocent fucking people that I care about and that care about me!" Sam says it all so quickly, she barely registers what it would mean.

No no no no no. He fucked it all up. Like he always does. He just ruined it all. Everything is gone. Everything is going to shit. It's all messed up. He did all of this. How did he even get here? She can't walk away from him. She always swore she wouldn't. Please, not her, too.

She's all he has left.

"What's that supposed to mean, huh?" Jason asks, jerking his up quickly as he tries to give the question some bite.

Sam lets out a heartbroken laugh that's mixed with a cry as she looks to the sky and hopes a blackhole will open up just to swallow her whole. She has no choice. 

Sam has thrown him life preserver after life preserver, and all he ever had to do was hold on and she'd reel him back to safety. But, all Jason has done is chew right through them and wonder why he's still drowning. She can't keep trying to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. He was always her lifeline but she was clearly, never his.

"You win, Jason." Sam's voice is defeated as Jason's brows furrow. The lump in her throat grows so large she can barely get the words out. "You win. I can't do it anymore. I'm done. I can't." Sam shakes her head as a tear falls down her cheek. The words taste like blood-covered glass, killing her with every cut and slice.

If she is always on his side, then what he's doing can't be that bad. If she is always on his side, defending him, why would he ever stop? Sam has tried everything else to get him home and none of it is enough. And it is killing her, knowing this is it. There is one last option because something's gotta give. Maybe if he hits rock bottom, having no one, maybe it'll turn him around. It's the only thing left to do because begging him doesn't work, loving him doesn't work, fighting him doesn't work, arguing doesn't work. Nothing else works and Sam hates it because she doesn't mean it, not even a little bit but she has no other options and she is devasted by what he is right now.

So, she says the one thing she can't take back.

A last-ditch effort, knowing he may never forgive her.

"I'm giving up on you. You get what you always wanted. I can't do it. I have tried and tried, but I can't do it anymore." Sam gives him a tired shrug as she dodges his eyes.

If she sees the heartbreak in his eyes, she'll take it back and she can't do that. If Jason always has her on his side, why would he turn things around when he hasn't yet? She could have died two nights in a row. He is actively targeting the Titans. She can't meet his eyes because he is targeting innocent people. It might be under Crane's control but, until he gets clear of him and gets clean, this has to be on Jason. Jason has to be the one to deal with the consequences and Sam will never forgive herself for it.

Jason's world stops. Not her. Not another person. Why does he always do this? How did he even get here? She was never supposed to be involved. He should have included her from the start. He almost rips the inhaler from his pocket and hits it, right in front of her, anything to get rid of this pain in his chest. It's as if his heart just exploded through his cage, shattering every bone on its way out. How is she doing this?

She's all he has left.

Jason shakes his head, fighting back tears of agony and anger. "You're just like everyone else." Jason's voice cracks.

She knew it was coming but something about it makes her want to burst into tears.

"No." Sam shrugs because he should know how badly this hurts her, too. This is the last thing she wants to say to him, ever. "I'm not. I am not like everyone else. Don't ever say that shit again. You have done this. You came after my friend. My innocent friend, Jay." Sam's voice cracks as she tries desperately to hold back her sobs. "All you have done since coming back from the dead, is hurt me." Sam pauses, taking a ragged breath and Json's face falls. Is that true? "And I have done everything to protect you. To be by your side. And you have done nothing but hurt me. So, no. I am not like everyone else. You just gave me no choice, Jay." Sam is quick to wipe a few tears away as her voice is weak and soft, lacking all fire and bite it had just seconds earlier.

He can't do it. He could try to make up for this. He could try to explain. He could just quit. That would do the job just fine. But, he doesn't. The heartbreak kicks in with anger and he just wants to be spiteful just like he always is as if fighting the person is going to change their mind. He knows it won't change hers but he does it anyway because he's hurt and the hurt has nowhere to go besides the open and cold air of this soulless city.

"You swore you never would but look at you now!" A lump grows in Jason's throat. "You said you don't break promises. Crane was right about you." Jason sneers as he closes the distance between them, looking down at her but he's not threatening or intimidating. Sam sees the heartbreak in his eyes. She will feel guilty about this in every life she lives.

Jason Todd has always deserved better.

"Okay." Sam shakes her head. "Sure, Crane doesn't know me. But you do. You know me. And you know I'd never be giving up if you left me another option. But, sure, believe Crane. Fuck it, right?" Sam scoffs and all she wants to do is cry. Or break every bone in her body because maybe that would be less painful. "I'm sick of losing my family." Sam's voice is quiet, barely a whisper. "All I ever wanted was you. And you died." Sam shrugs her shoulders, keeping her eyes on him. "And all I wanted was you." Sam says quietly and Jason wants to shatter, his breath catching in his throat as his vision starts to go blurry. "And still, all I want is you but...I don't know what else to do."

They can see their breaths mixing together in the winter air between them. Everything led them here and all they both want to do is take it back. The winter air chisels at Sam's face and hands, hacking away at every hope she could have had. Jason's eyes are locked on hers, dissolving into heartbreak and Sam thinks this is what hypothermia must feel like.

But, Jason is too scared of what will happen if he does take it all back. He's still under Crane's manipulation. He's too stubborn. And Sam is terrified what will happen if she backs down. If she backs out of it, who will he target next?

"So, that's just it? I didn't mean to hurt anyone in there. It's not my fault." Jason huffs and the anger starts to evaporate as the heartbreak comes in the form of agony and devastation.

"Sure." Sam nods and she doesn't want him to feel like he's trapped with Crane. She has to give up because that's her option. But, she can offer him someone else and maybe that'll be enough. This all boils to Dick anyway. "The same way your drug isn't Crane's fault. Look, I'm done. I can't do it. Dick though, he believes in you still. So, if you want to come home, call him. Don't contact me. If you get clean, then you can. Until then, don't call me. Don't text me. Nothing. And stay the fuck away from the Drakes, Molly, and Gar." Sam tries to hide the quiver in her voice but Jason catches it.

"Please, don't walk away." Jason says softly and Sam nearly collapses into the ground. His words are like knives aiming right for her heart. How does he do that?

Sam rests a hand on his cheek. "I can't leave it like that so, I'll always love you, Jay but...I want the old you back." Sam nods as her hand falls from his cheek. She turns around, going to leave him but she hears Jason take a few slow steps after her before they stop.

"Sammy..." Jason's voice cracks as his version becomes so blurry he can't see. "I...I'm sorry." Jason says quietly, looking to the ground as a tear falls from his eyes. "Don't...please," He looks back up to her. "Don't give up on me. I have a plan and it's all gonna work out. This was just an accident."

She swears he's never going to forgive her for this. This is the hardest thing she's ever done. Even if he understands one day, he'll never forgive her and it's the hardest pill to swallow.

"Yeah, I'm sure it was." Sam nods softly. "I can't save you. You don't want to be saved, not yet. You have to save yourself, now, Jay. And for what it's worth, I..." Sam pauses watching tears come to Jason's eyes. "I love you, Jay." Sam nods her head as she sniffles. "And I am so fucking sorry I couldn't save you. From Deathstroke, from the Titans, from the Joker...from Bruce. And from Crane. I'm sorry I was another person that let you down and I'm really fucking sorry I'm walking away." Sam shakes her head as she licks her lips. "But I don't think you'll get it through your head if I'm in your corner. I've tried everything to stay." Sam sucks in a breath as a few tears fall from her eyes. "I tried to stay for once because being with you was worth it to me. But I don't think it's helping you so...get clean and we can talk. The second you get clean, I'll be here." Sam nods once as the ambulance finally starts to arrive. "Those are for us. You should leave." Sam turns back around and heads back inside of the building, leaving Jason in the cold.

How could he fuck up this bad? He just wanted to show Crane he was right. He just wanted to prove himself and instead, he's the one standing out here all alone. Guilt and shame gnawing at the last good parts of him. And he just can't do it anymore. The pain and the fear and guilt and everything about it. It's too much and too heavy and maybe he's a little spiteful. So, he puts the inhaler to his lips and takes a hit.

They said it was a skinny batch but he didn't realize it would feel like this. It's numbing a lot of everything but not enough and it all still feels too heavy. When things get heavy, he always went to Sam but he just fucked that up. It's his fault it's heavy. This is all his fault and she's supposed to be on his side but she's not. He's all alone again and all he has is Crane. It's not supposed to be like this. How the fuck did he even get here?

All he wanted was to be somebody to someone. To be enough.

Back in the restaurant, the paramedics are getting Mr. Drake into the ambulance, rushing him off to Gotham General. Tim watches with sad and hollowed eyes, his hands are covered in blood and his shirt is soaked. Sam squeezes her eyes shut, looking away before she shakes it off. She can't lose it over Tim's dad. That's not fair.

"Do...do you need a ride?" Sam clears her throat as the ambulance drives away. "I have my bike. I can take you." Sam offers with a steady and firm nod.

"Uh...yeah," Tim looks at his hands, something lost in his voice. "That...that would be great. Thanks."

"Of course." Sam nods, reaching down for this hand. Her hands have been covered in blood enough times to almost seem normal. "Come on."

The two of them head outside to her bike and Sam wonders how she's supposed to explain this. Dick talked to her months ago, when she first came to the tower. It was all about vigilante life and what it entailed. It would be making hard decisions but knowing those hard decisions would be for the greater good. It's not killing people because enough people hurt and kill innocent people enough. Vigilantes, heroes, don't do that. It was about keeping the identities of everyone a secret to protect herself and them. Sam's never had much of an issue keeping secrets.

She holds her own close to her chest, locks them away where even she forgets they exist sometimes. But, those secrets aren't these. Those secrets only ever hurt her, only ever made her feel alone. These secrets that she's forced to keep hurt everyone she cares about. They hurt Molly because Sam couldn't tell her about Bluejay or Robin or Jason or Red Hood. they would bail on her and they would show up riddled with bruises and aches and pains. It hurt her because it worried her. It hurt her because Jason died and she never got to know him as Robin, the part of him that meant the world to him. She only got to know a portion of him. 

But telling Molly meant telling her about Dick and Bruce and the other Titans. It wasn't her secret to tell because it would out all of them. And she still doesn't know he's alive because telling her means leaking something Jason wanted to keep a secret and that's going to hurt her even more.

This hurts Tim because his dad was just shot and he just saw Jason Todd who's supposed to be dead. Now, he's going to think his friend is lying to him about her boyfriend being dead. Lying about an alter ego is one thing, lying about someone dying is cruel. Even if they weren't close.

And it hurts Gar because Gar ends up in the crossfire of everything. He's the one up worrying when her and Dick don't come home. He's the one scared for what Jason is going to do because Sam couldn't tell him about the drug in order to protect Jason and keep his secrets for him. And then there's Jason.

She can't tell Jason what's going on with the Titans because of Crane. She can't tell him everything she wants to desperately scream from the rooftops. That she's sorry and she doesn't mean it and it hurts her, too. She can't tell him she's scared Crane is going to snap and kill him. It'll drive the wedge further between them. All of these secrets are piling on top of each other, slowly building to the tallest building in Gotham and it's only a matter of time before the whole thing collapses. All it does is hurt everyone she cares about. That doesn't seem very heroic.

"Here, take my helmet." Sam offers the helmet to him once they reach her bike.

"Uh, no it's okay." Tim shakes his head. She's driving.

"Put the helmet on." Sam says sternly as she mounts her bike, sending a glare to Tim.

Something about the look she gives him makes Tim grab the helmet. "Right, okay." Tim nods and puts the helmet on before he gets on the back.

"Hold on." Sam states before Tim holds onto her waist.

She drives them to Gotham General, pulling up to one of the entrances without blocking the ambulance entrance. Tim gets off and takes off the helmet, handing it back to Sam. He knows she knows something. And if he's being honest, he's annoyed she didn't tell him. They aren't that close but...his dad just got shot and Jason fucking Todd knew about it. It was a hit. He stood outside and did nothing. Why wouldn't his own girlfriend know he's alive and planning a hit? She has acid generation and combat clairvoyance while also being an excellent marksman. Tim swears it can't be some coincidence she was there tonight.

"I'm really sorry about your dad." Sam states softly, holding the helmet on her thigh.

"Thanks." Tim looks back at the hospital. "That was Jason Todd outside, wasn't it?"

Sam nods softly and she knows she can't deny that. Tim saw him "Yeah."

"I thought he was dead." Tim questions as his voice holds hints of venom, something Sam hasn't heard before.

"Yeah." Sam nods again and she hates herself for tonight. For everything. "Don't, uh, don't tell anyone. It's a long story." Sam hangs her head, dodging the look Tim is surely giving her.

"You knew?" Tim scoffs, looking at Sam with annoyance and disappointment. Why the hell would she let everyone believe he were dead? "He faked his death or?"

Sam looks back to him and all this sucks. She's sick of lying and hiding secrets. It's tiring and lonely. It's so fucking lonely.

"No." Sam shakes her head. "He, uh...he really, uh...he really died." Sam sucks in a shakey breath before she shakes her head quickly. "I-I can't tell you anything else." Sam lets out a bitter scoff. "That's shit and I know that. I'm sorry."

"Did he target us because of you? Because of the Titans?" All Tim wants is some clarity. There had to be reason. Tim helped her with a code. That's what it was.

"Not a Titan." Sam sighs with exhaustion, lacking any and all fight she'd normally have with the statement. "I don't know why." Sam lies but she's sick of this. Keeping these secrets is making her out to be the bad guy with everyone and she's not. She's just trying to protect everyone she cares about so, she's not going to tell him in so many words but she's not going to cover it up either. "Um...yeah...maybe it was because of me but uh...I, uh, I never...I never thought he'd figure it out or....or come after you. I should have left you out of it."

Tim nods bitterly and he wants to understand but his dad could have been killed. "That code, it wasn't a murder mystery thing, was it?" Tim asks and Sam just sucks in a breath, not offering him anything else. Technically, she isn't lying and technically she isn't telling him anything. He already knows. She doesn't need to so he nods. "I saw what you did. You knew they were going to start shooting. I was right."

Sam shakes her head, looking to the sky and it's gloomy as always but it looks like it might snow. Sam scoffs looking back to Tim. "I saw the guns."

"Bullshit, you know," Tim gestures a hand to her. "You're supposed to be a hero, like Batman and Robin but..." Tim shakes his head.

"Fuck Batman." Sam mutters as her jaw clenches.

"You're supposed to help people." Tim says sternly.

The lump in Sam's throat grows and she bites her cheek so hard the taste of iron floods her mouth. It's not supposed to be this hard. And why does helping people have to be so black and white? Good and bad? It's not. Whether anyone likes it or not, the guys Sam wants to target and take out permanently and the guys Jason was going after, that was helping. Making sure they can't hurt anyone else ever again. That's helping. Dick thinks he can help all of the Titans and he fucks up sometimes which gets people hurt, but he still helps. Sometimes people get hurt and that sucks but does that really make everyone else irrelevant? Does that really make everything else wrong? Or the motive and reasoning?

Helping people shouldn't be black and white, good and bad, morally good and morally evil. There needs to be a grey area because there are people like the Joker who needed to be killed for the greater good of everyone in Gotham. And there are people like Jason who isn't in his right mind and is being manipulated but should still be helped. It sucks Tim's dad got shot and Sam will regret going to Tim for help forever, but she is helping him by not telling him anything, even if she wants to and even if he doesn't see it that way.

"I am literally begging you to please go inside and leave this alone, Tim" Sam forces the words through gritted teeth. "I can't fucking tell you anything else, okay? I want to. If it were up to me, I'd fucking tell you what's going on but I can't. It's not my shit to say." Sam looks to the ground and then back up to Tim, rolling her shoulders softly. "So, I'm sorry." Sam shakes her head, cluing him enough. Technically, she is not admitting to anything, just admitting that she knows what's going on.

"You just confirmed it." Tim says softly. "I'm gonna figure out what's going on and--"

"Tim! Please, go be with your dad. Trust me." Sam practically begs him because if he digs into this, what's going to stop Jason from actually going after him? Tonight might have been a threat or whatever, but at this point, she doesn't know if he would actually go after someone like Tim. She needs him to just take what she's saying and understand it.

"That's my dad."

"I know and I know it sucks. I get it which is why I'm telling you to go be with him." Sam says softly as her voice cracks.

Tim nods softly, understanding why she's saying it. "Thanks for the ride."

"Just...text me about your dad, okay?" Sam asks. "I'm really fucking sorry."

"I will." Tim nods because he's beginning to think maybe this isn't on Sam. He might know who she is but she isn't as cut and dry as Batman and Robin always were. She's more morally grey and maybe it is more complicated because it involves Jason. She looks terrified. "Thanks for saving me."

Sam nods quickly. "Of course." Sam says softly. "Good luck." Sam sucks in a breath, popping the helmet on and taking off.