Instead of providing Dick with any sort of explanation Sam can think of, she decides she'll meet up with Jason instead. Dick knows he's alive and he's going to want answers which means Sam is going to be the one interrogated by him. But, Jason tried to kill Dick tonight and that is sending up a large red flag that almost makes her want to tell Dick everything. So, she figures she can meet up with Jason and hope he gives her a good enough reason to either keep her mouth shut or to spill what she knows to Dick. Something is off and it's more than just Jason coming back from the dead.

Sam heads outside to the front steps of the Manor. The only people awake are just her and Dick anyway, but she wants to be outside for this one. She takes out the burner and presses redial.

"Shouldn't you be getting some damn sleep?" Jason answers.

"Shouldn't you?" Sam quips back. "Heard you had an eventful night."

"Fair enough." He remarks but he sounds tired.

"Can we meet?" Sam asks bluntly.

"Now?" Jason huffs, looking around his hideout that's lit up with lamps on the floor.

"Yeah, now." Sam's voice is flat and usually Jason can read what she's up to but not now.

"Why?" His brows knight together as the word is slow to leave his throat.

"I can't want to see you after you just fought the Titans?" Sam asks, a slight snip in her voice.

"You gonna bitch about it?" Jason quips back getting the idea maybe Dick told her what happened or Gar.

"No." Sam lies.

"Fine. Remember that alley the day we did that bust at the warehouse in Crime Alley?"

"Yes?"

"Meet me there. Leave now." Jason says quickly before hanging up.

Sam pulls the phone from her head, looking at it. Now that's also a bit uncharacteristic of him. He always says it. He always tells her he loves her before he hangs up. Her heart plummets to her stomach. She made the Pet Sementary reference to him but she didn't think it would be literal. Now, she's starting to think maybe it is.

The idea that just because you can bring someone back from the dead, doesn't mean you can bring someone back from the dead. Something about them is different, there's a change. Like a part of their soul or something gets left behind. The good parts of them stay behind but everything else is what gets to come back. She knows that's not entirely true because of how he was with her when they met up the first time. That can't be it. But there is something. And it's eating at her. 

Jason, on the other hand, he knows her. He knows she wants to meet up to check on him, yes. She'll always want to check on him after any sort of fight with anyone. It's what she does. But, he also knows she's going to have questions about him attacking Dick and the other Titans. She tipped him off, sure, but maybe she didn't think he was going to actually attack them. He knows she's going to question him about it, probably lecture him. He doesn't want to listen to it. He can't listen to it. A part of him will want to break if he does and he knows it. He knows he will if he goes there clean. So, he doesn't. He hits the inhaler and pockets it before heading to the alley.

Jason gets there first, hiding in the shadows until Sam shows up. She's on her bike, completely suited up. She doesn't want anyone seeing her with him. Not the real her. Red Hood is pissing off a lot of people and she already has enough shit she's dealing with. The last thing she wants is a target painted on her civilian self for being seen with him.

Sam dismounts the bike, popping the helmet on the handlebar as she looks around. Jason walks out from the shadows, wearing the suit and the helmet. Of course, he is.

"I'm fine." Jason states. Sam doesn't like how the helmet makes him sound.

"Yeah, well, had to see for myself." Sam lets out a breath as she closes the rest of the distance between them.

"You don't have to worry about me anymore." Jason takes the helmet off and he isn't smiling or grinning. His expression is flat and Sam's heart starts to sink.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Jay?" Sam shakes her head, Jason getting a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"I mean I'm fine." He rolls his shoulders, his voice flat.

Sam's eyes are scanning over him and it's dark but she's pretty sure he doesn't have any bruises. It seems either the helmet and suit did a good job of protecting him tonight or Dick didn't get a hit in. That's at the very least a small relief but Jason Todd has never been fine. Sam is starting to think he doesn't actually know the definition of the word.

"Right. You have said you're fine a hundred times and not once have you actually been fine." Sam crosses her arms over her chest.

Jason's teeth grit for just a split second. "Don't fucking worry. I told you. I got this handled." Jason holds the helmet on his hip, his stance strong and sturdy.

He's different than he was yesterday. He was grinning and smirking because it's him. Whenever he claims to be fine, he gives her a grin as if that's going to melt her worry away. But, not tonight and he seems bored and defensive.

"Why are you being so...weird?" Sam raises a brow at him.

Jason brushes her off, thankful for the drug coursing through his system. He'd never be able to deal with this without it.

"I'm not weird." Jason defends.

"Yeah, you are. You're acting weird." Sam argues.

Sam doesn't get it and maybe she won't ever. But, this is him now. He's not acting weird because this is the new him. Red Hood, fearless. He has no worries or fears anymore, just a mission. Jason swears he's not acting weird, she's just expecting the old him.

"This is just the new me." He lets out this sort of chuckle that doesn't sit well in her stomach.

"Uh-huh. Right. You seemed...kind of normal last time but now you seem...off." Sam's eyes scan over his face and her heart is in her throat, the formula running through her mind.

"Just glad to be doing what Bruce couldn't." Jason holds his head up high with ease.

"This conversation is going fucking nowhere." Sam lets out a sigh as she looks to the ground.

Sam came here with the intent to be sure he's fine. It was to get some sort of answer. A real, solid reason not to tell Dick anything. Dick is going to have so many questions when she gets back tonight. All of them will be about Jason and what his new plan is now that he's alive. Sam needs a reason to keep what she does know to herself and Jason is giving her every reason to be worried enough to talk to Dick.

"So, go home." Jason scoffs but he's not even offended or upset. It's like he doesn't even care.

Sam's attention snaps back to him. "What the fuck? I'm worried about you and you don't even care?"

It's not that he doesn't care. The drug numbs part of that but not entirely. It can't otherwise they wouldn't be able to have a plan in the first place. Jason has to be able to care about the city and the people he's trying to protect otherwise there is no plan. It's not that he does not care, it's that he doesn't care to go through the arguing in circles game while Sam digs for information.

"What else did you want? I know you want something else." Jason dodges the question on purpose, knowing he won't even feel guilty about it.

A lump forms in Sam's throat as he dodges the question. He comes back to life and is, generally, normal but now he's not? How is that even possible?

"Dick knows you're alive." Sam swallows the lump and if he's going to pretend like this doesn't hurt him, fine, she'll do the same.

"Yeah, broke my other helmet, had a backup though." Jason looks down to the helmet on his hip and then back to Sam with ease, the very corners of his mouth twitching into a grin.

"Oh, I'm so glad you have a spare helmet, Jason." Sam snarks through a scoff. "Unbelievable." She looks down and this is not how she wanted this to go. "Why did you try to shoot him?"

"He was in the way." Jason answers casually.

The Titans are going to get in the way and Dick is the leader. Without him, the Titans will fall apart. Crane is right about Dick. He thinks he's better than Jason. He thinks he's the golden child, and he always was to Bruce. Bruce couldn't even be bothered to kill the Joker for Jason but he would have for Dick. Dick dropped him from a skyscraper. Dick got him kidnapped and tortured. This all comes back to him and Bruce.

Sam's eyes nearly bulge out of her head and she's sick of the games with him right now. "Are fucking joking!?" Sam finally yells. This isn't funny. Dick is his brother, he's their friend. He could have killed him. What the fuck is wrong with him?

"Nope." Jason gives her grin. The drug loves confrontation.

This is not the Jason she once knew.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Sam glares up at him. "He's in your way? Well, damn Jason, maybe don't attack the fucking Titans." Sam gestures her hands out as she shrugs her shoulders.

Jason's blood starts to boil as she yells. She swore she wasn't working with them but from where he's standing, it sure as shit seems like she is. Crane said she would. Crane said she'd start working with them the second she found out what he was doing. Maybe he was right and it's pissing Jason off. She's supposed to be on his side.

"I thought you weren't fucking working with them." Jason seethes. She lied. She lied to him. Of course, she's working with them. Maybe Crane was right about her, too.

But she tipped him off.

"I'm fucking not! But I give a shit about them. In case you forgot, Dick saved my life twice. Gar is our best friend. Conner saved your life. Kory fucking tried to save our lives. I know you care about them. Why the hell would you go after them?"

"Dick treats me like shit. I'm fucking no one to him. He thinks he's so much better than me." Jason scoffs. "You said Rachel was his lap dog, but look at you now." Jason laughs cruelly as he closes some of the distance between them. "You're the one screaming at me and defending him." Jason shakes his head, looking down at Sam.

If she didn't know any better, she'd think he were trying to intimidate her.

Maybe she doesn't know better.

"You tried to kill him! He pisses me off sometimes, too but I don't want him dead! I'm not his damn lap dog, either. I just don't know what the hell is going on. And you won't fucking tell me." Sam grits her teeth, standing toe-to-toe with him.

"That's because it's none of your fucking business, but don't worry, babe, you'll see soon enough." Jason offers this grin that Sam can't tell is him taunting her or threatening her. And from here, with him nearly standing on top of her, she can see his eyes better.

His pupils are dilated and Sam's heart is suddenly in her throat. On the one hand, making a drug and selling it to innocent people is really bad and she was hoping that was not it. But, on the other hand, a part of her thinks him taking something is worse in a way. The formula screams from the back of her head and Dick's general concern about it, Jason's weird and erratic behavior before he died. Him going after the Joker. He's definitely high and Sam has no fucking idea how she missed that either or what even lead him here.

"Literally, are you high right now?" Sam questions him, hoping against all odds whatever he's on will make him tell her, like an overconfidence thing. "Because the Jason I know wouldn't be laughing and trying to kill the Titans. The Jason I know wouldn't be being such a fucking dick to me right now."

Jason lets out a laugh, ignoring her question because he's not playing into her hand. "So, go home." There's a wicked look in his eyes as he looks down at Sam. And it hurts. "This is me, new and improved." There's almost something threatening in the way his eyes darken to the deepest shade of evergreen Sam has ever seen.

"If you think this an improvement, I have news for you. The new you sucks." Sam spits back.

It's like the drug loves confrontation. It's as if confrontation triggers something. The drug is supposed to suppress fear. That's the point of it. But it seems to do a few other things. If confrontation starts, it's like Jason gets an adrenaline boost but not in self-defense, instead, it's more like skydiving. It's actually fun, it doesn't matter who the confrontation is with. It's fun. Thrilling. Jason doesn't realize that maybe that was Crane's plan. He's a mad scientist. Maybe the drug is meant to suppress his fear but maybe it's meant to control other parts of him in just the right way to do his bidding. Like using confrontation as another drug. Jason doesn't see it. He can't see it because the drug, at the end of the day, is Crane's creation. Because Crane is the one pulling the strings behind the curtain.

And unfortunately for Sam, she's kicking up the confrontation.

Jason's smile falls as he shakes his head. There's an anger that sparks across his eyes, something Sam has never directed at her. "Really? Not what you fucking said yesterday. Not what you said earlier today when you tipped me off."

"You weren't like this yesterday or earlier." Sam argues, holding her ground.

Jason steps forward, making Sam take steps back until her back hits the alley wall behind her and her heart spikes. Sam's head isn't throbbing but a very small part of her, is a little bit scared. This isn't him. Jason wouldn't try to kill Dick. Jason does not threaten her. But there's a look in his eyes and if he's willing to kill Dick and attack his friends, what's he willing to do to her?

"Go. Home." Jason warns.

The anger is flooding every aspect of him and he wants to give in. His brain says it's gonna be fun. It'll feel good to fight and argue. It'll be great to say everything that's crossing his mind right now. He won't feel guilty or fear or worry. It's it's own little high if he just gives in. Just a little bit. But the other parts fight hard with his teeth gritting together. He fights against the anger. Because it's her.

"What-what are you gonna do if I don't?" Sam lacks venom in her voice because she's actually curious and worried what he'll do. For the first time in knowing him, she's worried what he might do. She knows he won't do anything. She knows he won't. If he were going to, he would have already. But it crosses her mind anyway.

His eyes are locked on hers and he wants to fight so bad. It's going to be fun and thrilling, it'll make him feel something incredible. But only for that moment, until the high wears off. That part of him that's still him, is banging and foaming at the mouth with a wailing cry, begging him to let it go and turn around. It's as if the drug is keeping the good parts of him locked away in a prison and Jason has to decide which side he's going to be on.

But it's Sam.

It's never really a thought at the end of the day.

Jason takes a step back, his fists balling at his sides. Not her.

"Just go and don't fucking tell anyone." Jason warns. "You promised you wouldn't and you said you don't break them. So, fucking don't." Jason uses her own words against her.

Relief starts to come over Sam and she's never seen him look at her like this. Dick is right. She hates that that thought is what comes to mind. Somehow, Dick is the one that's right here. This is not the Jason they know and love. He's high and something bad is coming from this. She's going to figure out what's going on, the full story, and she's going to get him back or die trying. He's in there, yesterday proved it.

"Fine." Sam agrees because she isn't about to argue further when he's high. She doesn't want to see where this is going to go or how bad it can get. "But get your shit together, Jason. I'm serious." Sam moves past him.

"Don't do anything stupid. I'm doing this." Jason huffs.

Sam shakes her head and Dick can handle himself. She turns to face him. "You leave me and Gar the fuck out of your shit with Dick." Sam warns.

"Fine." Jason agrees. He never wants to hurt Gar anyway.

"Okay." Sam lets out a reluctant sigh. "You know," Sam starts as she turns to fully face him. "I'll figure it out, right? You know I will. I don't know what you need to do to prepare for that, but I will. And I'm gonna get you back." Sam holds her voice steady.

Jason raises a brow at her. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Jason swears she can't know what's really going on. She knows about the formula but Jason also knows he left a code in it to throw her, specifically, off. He doesn't think she'll figure it out and he's not entirely sure how she knows anything else. He wonders if he's really acting so differently that it's sending up enough red flags.

"I know you better than anyone. I'll figure it out." Sam turns around. "Not giving up on you, Jay." Sam grabs her helmet from the bike and he should be angry.

He should be scared but all he can do is laugh and there he is. There's the Jason she knows. The real Jason would find her being nonchalant and casual right after that exchange amusing. It's why she did it. He's in there somewhere and she's gonna get him back. She just saw him yesterday and Dick showed her the formula. She doesn't like that he has to be right but he clearly is. So, she'll get him back, she's certain.

"You gonna stay outta my way then?" Jason gives her that signature grin of his and something about it eases some of her own worry.

"Guess I'll have my hands full while I figure it out so..." He can't see it, but she's smirking under her mask and helmet.

"Good fucking luck." Jason states as Sam starts up the bike. She nods her head once before she peels off into the street.

He should be worried she'll figure it out. But he isn't and not just because of the drug. If Sam is busy digging into him, that means she won't be around the Titans. That means he can continue on with the plan without having to make sure she's safe. He can be as free as he wants to execute the plan in whatever way is necessary. She won't be the one caught in the crossfire. Jason is confident she won't figure it out because she has too much faith in him. She'll never believe he went to Crane.

Or maybe that's just the drug talking.

When Sam gets back to the Manor, she meets Dick in the kitchen who's still awake trying to figure out how the hell Jason is alive. Sam didn't provide any information and announced she'd be back before she just left him standig inside of Jason's grave. He's hoping maybe she's willing to give him some information now since she's the one that asked to talk.

Dick places a cup of coffee in front of Sam as he takes his own seat in front fo her at the one of the kitchen counters. "What do you know?" Dick questions, cutting right to the chase.

On the way back, Sam bounced back and forth on what she'd say and what she wouldn't. Jason's using and that's a problem. He's attacking the Titans which is also a problem. And he's acting weird towards her. Sam likes to believe she can handle most things on her own but it's never really gotten her anywhere and she can't afford to fuck this one up this time just because she's stubborn and loyal to a fault.

"Look, my loyalty lives and dies with him." Sam states before she raises her brows. "Well, I guess lives, dies, then lives again." Sam rolls her eyes. "And I'm not gonna betray him but...I actually don't know much." Sam states. "I just knew he was alive, not really anything else. He called me yesterday and asked me to meet up with him. I did. And it was him."

"How did you know it was him?" Dick asks and he isn't sure if he should believe her. Sam left abruptly, likely to meet up with Jason and now she wants to talk? But, he's willing to listen.

"You and me." Sam answers. "Something we always said. He mentioned the necklace he gave me." Sam states as Dick glances to the infinity charm around her neck. "There's a tracker in it but only he would know that. Bruce didn't know. At least, we don't think he knew Jason did that. Few other things but that was the big one." Sam chews the inside of her cheek. "He, uh, he seemed...normal all things considered."

Dick's eyes narrow and he finds it hard to believe that's all she knows. Dick knows the two of them were thick as thieves and they'd go to the ends of the Earth to defend each other. But, Sam did admit to knowing she knew when Dick asked and Dick is getting the feeling she isn't lying this time.

"And you don't know anything else?" Dick pushes.

Sam takes a sip of her coffee before straightening her back and clearing her throat. Dick already knows about the drug and suspects Jason is using so telling Dick that sucks, but he already knows. It's just confirmation and telling Dick how Jason is alive doesn't seem too bad. It's a Lazurus Pit, that can't be too much information. But, Sam decides to keep Jason having a partner to herself. It seems safer that way. If they're dangerous like Jason thinks they are, it should be safer to keep that to herself. But, telling Dick everything else, might be helpful in getting the old Jason back. You hate yourself for it. You hope he'll understand one day, you hope Jason will forgive you for it.

Sam doesn't think she'll forgive herself.

"Lazarus pit. That's what he said. He said he doesn't really know how it works but someone put him in it and brought him back. That's all." Sam leaves out him working with someone, figuring maybe that's for his own protection.

"Ra's Al Ghul probably." Dick lets out a scoff.

"League of Assassins, right?"

Dick nods his head. "Yeah."

"Think they have something to do with it? Besides the Lazurus pit?"

Dick shakes his head. "No, they would have no reason to bring Jason back, and Ra's isn't even in Gotham."

"Alright, well what are you thinking?" Sam asks in hopes maybe Dick has some insight. At the end of the day, Sam knows she has a bias. She knows her emotions can get in the way when it comes to Jason but Dick can put all of that aside to see what he needs to..

"You said you know him better than anyone." Dick nods his head. "Was he using? When you saw him?"

Sam hangs her head before she offers Dick a solemn expression. "I don't know if he was using before he died. If he was, he hid it well but..." Sam rolls her shoulders, chewing the inside of her cheek and she really hopes Jason understands one day. "He was high when I met up with him." Sam admits, catching Dick off guard. "He wasn't yesterday but he was tonight. And for the fucking record," Sam states harshly. "That is the only fucking reason I'm telling you anything."

Dick didn't want to believe Jason could be using either. It's a hard pill to swallow and the confirmation does hurt him. But, Dick isn't too surprised. He found the formula and that would explain why Jason went after the Joker and how Sam doesn't know much of anything. Jason wouldn't want her involved.

"He must have been high. Maybe that's why he went after the Joker that night. Maybe he was high." Dick keeps his voice level as Sam rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, probably." She scoffs with the shake of her head. "And I missed it all which is shit. But, you know," Sam sucks in a breath. "There's more to it and I know you know that. Him making the fucking drug and then taking it is weird as shit even for him. With his mom and shit...it just..." Sam shakes her head. "Doesn't make any sense."

"Maybe it's a favor for someone." Dick offers, agreeing that the drug use and making seems a bit uncharacteristic.

Jason said he's working with someone and Sam thinks maybe the drug is a part of that. Whoever he's working with had to be the same person that brought him back which means they'd have to know he died in the first place. Likely would know he was going out to die which also means the Joker plan was actually a plan. Sam runs it over in her head and the more she thinks about it, the more it sounds like whoever did this, had him killed on purpose with the intention to manipulate him. If the drug is linked then so is everything else.

"He'd need a good enough motive for that though." Sam sucks in a breath. "So, if that's true, it has to be the person who brought him back, right? But, I don't know who that is. Jason didn't say shit."

"Why wouldn't he tell you?" Dick asks. "He told you a lot, didn't he?"

"Yeah, fucking sucks being left out." Sam snips back. "But, yeah, I don't know. He just said he can't and that was the end of it." Sam shrugs. "Jason has only kept things a secret from me out of self-preservation that's actually just self-destruction or to protect me. So, not too big a fan of this."

"Okay well, I need you to meet up with him again and talk to him." Dick states. "We need answers and if you keep pushing him, maybe he'll tell you more."

"That's not....that's not fair. Talk about what? You want me to meet up with him and tell him to stop fucking around? And to tell me everything as if I didn't already do that?" Sam huffs. "What do you think I went to do tonight? I went for fucking answers and got none besides finding out he's high which he did not tell me. It was just obvious."

"If anyone can get to the bottom of it, it would be you. Like you said you know him better than anyone. He didn't tell me or Gar he was alive. He was shooting at me. But, he got you to meet up with him and told you first. You already know more than any of us so even if this is a new version of him that came back, the old Jason is in there somewhere. Enough to trust you." Dick tries his best to reason with her even if he knows it might be a waste of his breath.

"So, you want me to betray him?" Sam quips back, guilt rattling her bones like a storm cellar in the middle of a tornado.

Jason trusts her and that's not something Sam would ever take lightly. The one thing the two of them have always had with each other is trust. From the very first day, there has been this trust between them. It's just how it is and her getting any information and telling Dick, would be a betrayal of trust. Anything Jason says to her, she knows without him even saying anything, is in confidence because it always is just as it is for her. She does not want to ever betray him, not after everything.

"No," Dick shakes his head. "It's not betrayal."

"He's gonna tell me not to tell you shit. And we both know I will listen to him." Sam urges and she does not want to be in the middle of it but she can't betray him. Everyone always does and she will not be like everyone else. "You want me to pick sides and look, okay? I know you guys are good and cleared up your shit and you're brothers but you are the like...leader of the Titans. That's where your loyalty lies. Gar, Kory, Conner, Dawn, Hank, they're all Titans. They will side with you. They all would follow you no matter what. Who the fuck does Jason have? That's what this shit always boils down to. He doesn't have anyone, Dick. It's just....him and me." Sam rolls her shoulders.

"What if it saves him from himself?" Dick nods his head.

"What if it gets him killed permanently?" Sam questions.

"You can still try. You don't have to turn on him. If he doesn't tell you not tell us, you can come back and tell us." Dick offers, trying his best to be a voice of reason. He knows this is hard but Jason is out there killing people, innocent people, and now he's targeting the Titans. He needs to be stopped, regardless on how Sam feels about it.

"It's always shit said in confidence though. That's how it always is. If...if I do that, hard if, how are we supposed to come back from that? I would have been another person that betrayed his trust. It doesn't fucking matter what he's doing. I can't do that." Sam shakes her head as she pleads with Dick. "I'm not a Titan right now. My loyalty is still with him. And I don't want in the middle of it." Sam states. "Look, I don't even really disagree with him. He said he's cleaning up Gotham and like I said, Bruce's ways don't work. Jason, clearly, is on the same page."

"But you're having this conversation with me right now and that tells me at least some part of you doesn't agree."

"Yeah, I don't agree with him coming after the Titans and I'm worried about the drug side of this. That's the only reason we're even discussing this. I will always be on his side. I don't know if there's anything he can do that would make me quit. And this is hard enough as it is, Dick." Sam chews the inside of her cheek, tugging her sleeves over her hands. "I don't think he'll forgive me for telling you anything and I can't....I can't betray him more than this."

Sam knows, without a doubt, if the roles were reversed, Jason would never give up on her. She won't do it to him, either.

"Do you believe this is all Jason? He woke up from the dead and chose this?"

It's something that's been bothering her. Him waking up and choosing this is not far-fetched. Him dying, choosing this, and neglecting to tell anyone including her about it, that's the weird part. Sam doesn't know what happened when he died but she has to believe that there is more going on. There has to be more than him just dying and neglecting to tell her anything. There has to be.

"I don't know." Sam shrugs. "I did. He died and I chose this. So, I don't know." Sam clears her throat because as much as she wants to believe this is all Jason, she knows there's more. And she is terrified it's going to get bad. He went after Dick and this is more than Jason just trying to fight him in the Tower. "Okay, look, yeah I think something bad is going on. It is weird. I didn't decide to become a crime lord and make a drug. If, hard if, he tells me something I think I can get away with telling you, I will. But only if Jason gives me a reason to." Sam shakes her head deciding that would be okay. Jason has to give her a reason though.

Dick nods his head and he knew it would be a long shot. "Okay."

Dick hopes she'll actually tell him anything. He needs answers and he'll keep digging himself, but Sam would be a big help in all of this. But, he knows the two of them have loyalty that runs deeper than the Titans.

"But," Sam sucks in a breath. "This stays between us. I don't want the other Titans to know. They'll freak out. Well, Hank and Dawn anyway." Sam rolls her eyes. "You know Gar, he'll believe Jason is in there somewhere. Conner doesn't know him well enough but he'll probably side with Gar or follow you anyway. Kory was the only one who didn't accuse Jason of anything. So, but if you tell one of them then you have to tell everyone so...stays between us."

Sam does not want Jason to figure out she's even having a conversation about working with Dick. That can't happen because she's already said she won't work with the Titans. There is a reason Jason wants her out of it. If the Titans know she already knew and Dick and her had a conversation, that'll send up a red flag if it gets back to Jason somehow. And the Titans trust Dick. It has to stay between them.

"Deal." Dick sticks his hand out and Sam shakes it. "I know this is hard but you're doing the right thing."

"If you say so." Sam rolls her eyes. "That also means you have to get Gar off my back though. I can't go trying to meet up with Jason and Gar is right there. He won't tell me shit if Gar's around."

"Can you stop killing people?" Dick questions as he raises his brows.

Sam narrows her eyes. "Just while you're in town and while we sort this shit out. Got my hands a little full with Jason's shit. I still have a whole hitlist to get through, though." Sam raises her mug at him.

"That's not funny." Dick wanrs.

"It's not a joke." Sam chuckles. "I know you don't agree with me but I promise I'm not killing people who don't deserve it. I can give you their endless rap sheets. Guy I killed tonight while you guys were busy was lacing drugs and selling directly to kids and I mean like middle schoolers. He's been put away ten fucking times. They just keep letting him out. He's gotten over a hundred kids killed. Those are the fucks I'm killing. You don't have to agree with me but you should try to understand my point of view of it." Sam points a finger at him.

"I do." Dick nods his head. "Less kids people like him can kill but where do you draw the line?"

"Do you want to know? I have a line. They have to meet certain criteria otherwise I just scare the ever-living shit out of them and rough them up real bad."

"You have criteria?" Dick asks, his voice a mix of being appalled and confused.

"Yeah, I agree with you. We can't go out playing judge, jury, and executioner all the damn time. That's not justice. But, the system fails to protect people like me and you and Jason and Molly. It always has. It didn't protect my dad, who albeit is still a piece of shit probably, but he was hooked when he was in school. It didn't help Jason's mom. It looks at us and laughs in our faces and tells us to deal with it because we can't do anything about it. I'm doing that and hey, Jason's off his damn rocker, but he's targeting some bad people."

"Are you going to be able to live with yourself with their blood on your hands? I think that's why Jason stopped you from killing Jerry. He didn't want you to have that on your conscious."

"You know," Sam furrows her brows as she shakes her head. "I killed some of CADMUS. And uh, I mean, I feel bad about it a little. I killed people, that's a heavy thing to carry. But, they tried to kill me, Gar, Conner, and Krypto. They tortured them. I feel bad because I'm not a monster but I also know it's what had to be done. I kill these guys and it's like...I feel bad. Someone out there gives a fuck about them. Someone out there is going through what I went through when Jason died. I feel bad for them. And I feel bad for taking a life but then I look at how many people they've either permanently hurt or killed, and I'm keeping track. I'm keeping track of every person I save by killing them. And I feel less bad about it. I feel bad because they were a person with a life and a beating heart. But, I can live with it because of the list of people I'm saving in the process. That sounds a little, uh, egotistical but it's true. That's why there's a criteria. Killing one person by accident doesn't mean they get to die. That's not justice. It's gotta be bad. Batman walks the streets and it doesn't stop these fucks. I feel bad about it, but....it's better than them killing and torturing people with no reason to stop."

"So, you think Bruce was right for throwing all of his morals away to kill the Joker?"

Sam lets out a snort. "No, but that's not because of his morals and shit. I think anyone is capable of throwing their morals away for certain shit without it actually changing their moral compass, like Bruce killing the Joker." Sam explains as she sips her coffee. "But, I think it's fucked Jason had to die. None of the other people mattered enough to do something permanent about him. It took Jason's brutal murder for him to finally do something and I gotta problem with that. If anyone should have killed him, it should have been me. He killed my mom and he took Jason. Bruce only did it for Jason. I think, if you're gonna kill people for the greater good, it shouldn't be because of one single person. It should be for the greater good. There should be a list of reasons why you're killing someone. A list of reasons why they have to die. I gave Bruce all of those reasons and those weren't enough. Jason was. And that's not fucking fair to every other person that had to suffer by the hands of the Joker. So, no, fuck Bruce for killing him now. What's he gonna do? Come back and welcome Jason with open arms as if he isn't the reason Jason was murdered in the first place? Fucking stupid."

"Have you been thinking about all this this whole time?" Dick can't help but chuckle.

"Yeah," Sam shakes her head. "And Jason but....that's been a topic I don't so much like to think about lately. So, I made a hit list." Sam smiles softly. "Got a list of bad people to get through that Bruce won't do shit about."

"So, what you gonna go off after the Penguion next? Does he fall under your criteria since the Joker's gone?" Dick quips back, mostly digging to make sure she isn't planning on doing something like Jason.

"Nah, I think he's a fun little guy." Sam lets out a laugh. "Something about him makes me laugh. He's bad, too sure, but he's not...that bad in the grand scheme of shit. Ya know? Penguin, sometimes helps here and there. He's not evil."

"You've had the pleasure of meeting him, then, I'm guessing?" There's a smile tugging at Dick's lips.

"Oh yeah. We went after him for something with Bruce once and I just thought he was funny. He was so serious and somehow not. If the camp genre were a person, it would be Penguin. So, I start actually laughing which then made him really mad and naturally made the whole thing that much funnier to me. So, Jason starts bursting out laughing at the top of his lungs. We're both doubled over and Penguin's face starts turning all red and he was stomping his foot. He starts yelling at Bruce to get us to stop and take him seriously and we don't know who we're messing with." Sam shakes her head mockingly as she laughs. "His goons were trying desperately not to laugh with us!" Sam says through a hearty laugh. "I thought Bruce was gonna blow. But, I think he wanted to laugh, too."

"Yeah, he's always been a fun one to deal with." Dick chuckles softly. "I used to give him hell. Make fun of him. When I was Robin."

"Good, it's a lot of fun." Sam laughs. "I mean, he's like you. He goes by fucking Penguin and you go by Dick. You guys are setting yourself up for the jokes."

"I can't believe you just compared me to Penguin." Dick deadpans before a small smile cracks the corner of his lips.

"Facts don't lie, Dickolas."

Sam takes another drink of her coffee and Dick is trying to be a better leader. She's going through it. Somehow, she's the one stuck in the middle of everything and she's the one most likely to be hurt in this mess. The person she cares about most died and is now lying to her and fighting her friends. This can't be easy.

"Really, how did it go with Jason?" Dick asks, earning an eyebrow raise from Sam. "I'm asking for you, not for information." He's been trying to be a better leader and that also means asking how everyone is doing without digging for information.

"You being caring is kind of freaking me out." Sam chortles before she shakes her head as a sad smile starts to come to your face. "Good, I think." Sam nods. "Ya know, Jason remembers everything. About us..." Sam's brows furrow tightly as her face falls. "And he said he remembers dying. So, there's that. Uh, but he seemed...mostly normal, actually besides the hair." Sam gestures to the front of her head as she cracks a soft smile.

"Yeah, I saw that. What's up with that anyway?" Dick chuckles. "At least he seemed okay. He told you he remembers dying?"

"Side effect of the Lazarus Pit, I guess." Sam shrugs a shoulder. "He didn't want to talk about it, remembering dying I mean. But he said he remembers." Sam clears her throat. "So, that's a little worrisome. Ya know, given how Jason deals with trauma which is that he literally does not." Sam rolls her eyes. "But, at least he's alive ya know? Being a shithead again but alive."

"Yeah, that's true. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, just need some time to process it." Sam clears her throat. "When you tell the Titans and half of them inevitably flip out because I knew, let them. I'll be fine." Sam hops down from her seat. "Like I said, they trust you. Keep it that way. They won't trust me regardless. We all know my loyalty is with him. They can't know you knew I knew. I'll be fine. I've told them off before." Sam starts her walk to the doorway. "Night, Dick." Sam offers a soft smile and a nod before she spins on her heels and leaves Dick alone.

Gar wakes Sam up the following day, saying Dick has called a meeting with everyone. Sam knows exactly what the meeting is about and everything starts to ache from the pit of her stomach. It sucks that they're all going to know she knew and didn't tell anyone. And it sucks because that also means they'll knows it's Jason under the Red Hood and maybe they won't be so forgiving. They never have been with him.

But she walks with Gar to the main living room anyway. She takes a seat beside Gar with Krypto sitting at her feet and the other Titans are scattered around. Dick stands in front of all of them with his arms crossed.

Once everyone is gathered, Dick starts telling them how he broke Red Hood's helmet last night and it was Jason. He follows it by saying he dug up Jason's grave to verify it was him. Sam finds it weird no one even bats an eye at the grave digging but of course they don't. Sam keeps her stare on Krypto as she pets him, knowing one of them is going to accuse her of knowing as soon as Dick finishes his explanation. She can feel Gar's stare on her and without even looking at him, she knows he figured it out. And it nearly kills her because she feels like she betrayed him and that's not fair. Jason put her in the middle of it.

"You knew, didn't you?" Hank glares directly at Sam.

Sam looks up to him and sucks in a breath. "Well..." Sam shrugs, scrunching her nose.

"What the hell?!" Gar yells. "And you didn't tell me!?" Gar stares at her in disbelief and she can handle Hank. He's an ass anyway but Gar? She'll never forgive herself for keeping it from him even if it was just two days.

"Well, kind of yeah." Sam chews the inside of her cheek, looking away from Gar.

"And you didn't think to tell any of us?" Kory demands.

Sam chews her lip. She knows her or Dick will tell Kory the entire story eventually and she'll understand but it hurts anyway. "He asked me not to and you all know how deep my loyalty runs with him." Sam glances to Dick and he doesn't like that this is what they're doing. They're not going to trust her.

"Did you know he was going after the Joker that night? Was this the plan the whole time?" Dawn questions.

It's better that they don't trust her. It's easier for her to pick a side. She needs to work Jason's angle but she cannot do that if they know. Jason is smart and he'll figure it out. So, she has to swallow her guilt and stick with being solely and entirely on Jason's side just as she always has been.

"You think I knew?" Sam scoffs. "Like that whole thing? You think I knew and just...let him do it?" Sam looks to Dick again, as if waiting for him to add something in. He's the leader.

"You knew he was alive." Dick adds in.

"Knowing he's alive and knowing what he was up to are two very different things." Sam states.

"Why should we believe you?" Hank demands. "You've been lying to us the whole time!" Hank fumes as if that's going to get him anywhere.

"Because? I wouldn't let him get himself killed. In case you forgot." Sam retorts as she scrunches her face. It is actually ridiculous Hank thinks she knew Jason was going after the Joker and let him do it. The anger starts to wash over any guilt she had just minutes ago.

"Hey! We apologized for that shit!" Hank yells. "How do we know you didn't know he was going to get killed on purpose and get brought back. Pretty convenient, isn't it?" Hank spits.

Sam can feel her blood start to boil. She knew this is what was going to happen but it's annoying anyway. It's the fact they think she would let him get killed. It's the fact they think he would go out and get killed on purpose. They didn't even really know him. They don't really know her. They think her grief was all fake. She gets they don't believe her, she can see why. But it's also absurd. They should be mad she didn't tell them, but they should believe she would do everything in her power to stop him from going after The Joker. They should believe Jason wouldn't get killed on purpose. This is all so absurd and Sam isn't going to let them drag her and Jason through the mud when they don't know anything.

Sam nods and lets out a dry and narrowed chuckle. "You know how you can believe me? Call Bruce, hunt him down, hunt down the phone records or whatever, listen to the phone call." Sam looks to Dick. "You can ask Babs if she thinks my reaction was fucking fake. You can ask Molly who found me on the bathroom floor. I don't care but I didn't fucking know and fuck you for thinking I did." Sam looks back to Hank with glassy eyes. "Do you know what it's like to try CPR knowing it's useless? I was covered in his blood. I didn't fucking know and he didn't get killed on fucking purpose."

"You really didn't know." Gar says quietly.

"Nope." Sam shakes her head. "I found out two days ago."

"What about the drug? Did he say anything?" Dick asks, hoping that can calm the room down. He doesn't think Sam knew any of it.

"Nope. I wouldn't let him make a drug. Ask Bruce, I told him I was gonna call you and have you bring us back. Bring him back kicking and screaming if we had to."

"Are you supposed to believe this shit?" Hank yells out, gesturing a hand towards Sam. "Dick, come on, she's been lying to us this damn whole time. He was prepared for us to show up last night. She tipped him off!"

"Hey, fuck you!" Sam screams back. "Maybe he was just fucking prepared. It was a damn code! I didn't tip him off!"

"I don't fucking believe this shit!" Hanks storms.

"That's a you problem then." Sam quips. "Can I go now? This is you guys problem."

"No, we're not done here." Hank boasts.

"Okay, so finish up." Sam snarks back.

"Look, Jason did this to himself and we need to find out what else he's planning." Hank crosses his arms. "He needs to be stopped."

Sam lets out this laugh that sounds both heartbroken and pissed. "Okay."

"I always knew something was off about that kid." Hank scoffs.

"Fuck." Sam yells. "Seriously?" Sam's eyes start to water. "What the fuck is...." Sam pauses, looking to Gar. "You know what, you're not fucking worth it. You're just gonna sit here and victim blame anyway. Have ya noticed the rest of the room is simply...confused and not losing their shit? That's just you, pal."

"He isn't a fucking victim!" Hank scoffs with a laugh. "He got himself into this mess. He could have walked away!"

"How can you say he isn't a victim? I know he told you! His mom being an addict and neglectful, yeah, victim. His dad was abusive, victim. The system? In and out of shitty foster homes, victim. Bruce took Robin away without ever having a conversation about it, victim. You...treat him like shit, victim. All of you made him want to kill himself, victim. The Joker murdered him with a crowbar, victim." Sam scoffs. "You're not a fucking hero and I think you're the one that needs to hang up the cape and mask if you can't grasp the simple concept of a victim."

"We all have bad experiences but we're not looking to get ourselves killed and start killing." Dawn states softly.

"I'm not out there killing people." Hank grits his teeth at her. "He needs to be stopped and whoever the hell he's working with, whether you like it or not, kid." Hank scoffs as he moves towards the hallway.

Sam isn't done yet though. She does not like Hank and if he's really going to point the blame at Jason for everything that led him here, she's going to get under his skin.

"Before you go, if I did know more, I wouldn't tell you guys anyway. I'm killing people, too and you guys don't have an issue with that. Just Jason. So, uh, you guys are on your own with this one. I'm with him." Sam grins back at Hank and she wants to push him further. Really drive home the point she's not with them. She also just doesn't like him. His apology seemed more hollowed and like he was doing it because Dawn said it was the right thing to do.

"We're not playing fucking games here!" Hank yells and Dick wants to know what Sam is doing. She could have let him walk off and let it rest. But it is Sam. She doesn't usually do that when it comes to Jason.

"Oh, I'm not playing games either. But I know him better than anyone so while you guys are thinking poorly of him, I'll be on his side actually listening to him like I always have which then I'll get more information and I'm not sharing." Sam shakes her head with a grin.

"Hey, kid, we're not messing around." Hank threatens. "You're gonna tell us what you know, or we're switching teams. You won't like that."

Sam lets out a booming laugh. "Yeah, Hank? And uh, what the fuck are you gonna do about it?" Sam questions him with a sinister grin as she gets to her feet. "Gonna fight me? Torture me? Threaten to kill me? Go for it. Here's a statistic for you: Torture doesn't work. It's been proven. People are more likely to give you false information just to get it to stop. And considering the fact I was tortured for a year and nearly murdered twice, that shit does not scare me. You'll have to kill me before you get to him. And if it comes down to that, I'll have given him the heads up."

"Unbelievable." Dick sighs.

"Told you, I'd hide a body for him."

"I don't want to kill him." Dick states.

"I will." Hank scoffs. "If it ends up him versus me, kid's going down."

"So, we're killing Jason now?" Dawn questions, almost appalled. She's confused by the whole thing but Sam is right. The Jason they know isn't a murderer. There is something else going on and they don't kill their own.

"Jason's always had his issues but he wasn't a full-blown psychopath." Kory adds in.

"I still think he was using. The Batcomputer didn't find anything but I found the place he was cooking." Dick states.

"He wrote his own ticket. He starts taking people out, game's over." Hank scowls.

"And you'll have to go through me, Hank." Sam steps past Krypto, taking a few steps towards Hank. "You're not gonna kill him. I might not be able to take on Dick, but you?" Sam laughs. "In my sleep." Hank steps forward, Dick stopping him. "Ohhh, scary." Sam mocks him. "I'm not fucking afraid of you." Sam mocks him and then it hits her.

The conversation with Jason, a cure for fear. She said it would affect his adrenaline. He wouldn't care for things. It would have side effects besides just getting rid of his fear. He made a drug. He's working with someone. The way he was acting weird yesterday. He attacked Dick. Jason went after the Joker and missed the Joker right behind him. Drug that cures fear would also block out basic instincts like someone lurking behind him. Drug that cures fear.

She's gonna kill him.

Sam shakes her head. "Here's the deal, figure it out yourselves because I'm not fighting him and I'm not betraying him. Ever. I don't fucking care. Now, I've got some shit to do so if you'll excuse me." Sam walks up to Dick. "You have that formula?"

Dick eyes her with confusion, pulling the paper from his pocket. "Why?"

"Told you, I'm gonna figure it out and I'm not sharing." Sam snatches the paper from him and leaves the Titans to themselves.

"Thanks for the backup, man." Hank turns to Dick.

"Let it go, Hank." Dick lets out a sigh. "I believe her. You should, too." Dick leaves the room.

Sam heads to her room and sits down on the bed with the formula. She pulls out the tablet and starts working on it. She does research into some of the files Bruce has, trying to figure it out. She makes a lot of progress on it but there's a part of it that doesn't make sense. It's not a chemical or a compound. It doesn't actually mean anything. And she's thinking Jason prepared for this.

She thinks Jason prepared for someone to find it. Dick did it his first day which means he didn't really hide it. Jason is smart. And clearly likes codes. Maybe he should have teamed up with the damn Riddler. That might be better than what Sam is thinking because she has suspicions this missing piece of the formula is a code for something he didn't want anyone to figure out. And she was never very good with codes but she knows someone who might be.

Sam makes her way inside of the restaurant where she sees Mr. Drake behind the counter. Sam offers him a kind smile, stuffing her hands deep into her jacket pockets.

"Hey, haven't seen you in awhile. The usual?" He asks.

"Uh, yeah, but um...I was actually wondering if, uh, if Tim were around? I promise I'm ordering the usual." Sam lets out a soft laugh as she rolls her shoulders.

"Yeah, of course." Mr. Drake looks over his shoulder. "Tim! Come out here, please."

Tim walks out a few seconds later, stumbling slightly over a box. Tim sees Sam and he's surprised to see her. Tim is very observant and he knows something that no one else has been able to figure out. He thought she might be down and out for a while because of it.

"Hey." Tim greets with confusion.

"Hey, do you like puzzles? Like codes." Sam rushes out, trying to make it sound casual. "Genius."

"Uh..." Tom chuckles softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I guess. Why?"

"Can you help me with one?"

Tim walks from behind the counter, resting a hand on her arm and moving them off to the side. "Are you okay?" Tim questions and he's known Sam a little through the years, not really well. But, he thinks he knows her well enough to know something weird is going on. Her boyfriend just died. "I saw Jason...on the news." Tim states.

Sam's eyes widen, somehow forgetting that naturally all of Gotham who watches any bit of the news or keeps up with things on social media would know Bruce Wayne's newest son was killed in a 'tragic accident'. Of course, Tim knows that.

"Right, yeah, no, uh, it's been really fucking hard. I, I just can't focus on it. I'll start crying. Thank you though." Sam brushes it off and she wishes she didn't have to lie so damn much.

"Why do you need help?" Tim's brows furrow, not buying it.

"It's a game kind of." Sam rolls her shoulders. "I mean, you're really smart so..."

"Don't you live with Bruce Wayne? Isn't Dick Grayson back, too? They're really smart. Why are you coming to me?" Tim crosses his arms and he's definitely digging for information.

"If you can't help, that's fine. But I thought it was worth a shot." Sam shrugs and she used the Batcomputer to look into him.

They've talked every time she's come to get food. Sam doesn't have many friends. And Molly is smart but not like this and she can't risk Molly going to Dick about it. Tim doesn't know any of them well enough to go back to Dick. And Jason probably won't figure out she went to Tim given Sam tends to keep Jason's secrets locked away with all of hers.

"Come on." Tim gestures for Sam to follow him and Sam offers him a wide smile.

Sam follows Tim into the side door through part of the building that leads into a hallway. Tim opens a door further down the empty hallway and walks right in with a sense of pride. Sam sees an entire set up of computers and crime boards. On the walls, he has pictures of the Titans and Robin and Batman. He's definitely doing research into all of them and Sam thinks it's funny. They always talked about who Batman and Robin could be but she did expect him to literally be putting together actual research, not like this. Him looking into Batman and Robin is kind of whatever at this point, but the Titans has her interests piqued.

"You looking into the Titans?" Sam gestures a finger lazily to one of the walls with pictures and news articles.

Tim holds his head up high. "I know you're a Titan." Tim holds the most confident grin Sam has ever seen.

Sam does a double take. "What?"

"You're a Titan. Acid generation, I'm guessing combat clairvoyance, too." Tim explains with ease.

Sam's brows furrow and she has no idea how the hell he even knows that. He hasn't been able to figure out Batman and Robin for years, but he figured her out in only a few months? A part of her is actually offended. She swore she did a better job of hiding her identity than Dick and Jason did.

"I'm not a Titan? They're from San Francisco and I'm definitely born and raised right here which you know." Sam raises.

"But you were uprooted, two years ago to San Francisco." Tim walks over to a desk and pulls out a file, handing it over.

Sam takes it cautiously and she hopes he knows this whole thing is weird. But, she opens the files anyway and it contains information on Jerry and where they moved to. Which only makes her question how he got this because those records are supposed to be sealed given she was a minor.

"How the fuck did you get this?" Sam closes the file, waving it slightly.

Tim shrugs. "I'm good with computers."

"You hacked into CPS and the GCPD to get this?" Sam's eyes narrow and he's definitely completely insane for this. What if he were wrong? She does admire the dedication though.

"And SFPD." Tim adds in. "Jerry was beat up pretty bad but it was just...brushed off. I think it was you. They found someone there, but it wasn't you."

"Okay, there's so much wrong with all of this, like you know that, right?" Sam asks. "And why the hell were you looking into me? I'm not a Titan and this is weird."

"I know it's you. The acid really gives you away. And I recognized how you walked." Tim explains. "And I've been looking into all of the Titans so..."

"You...what? You know how I walk? Do you know how insane that sounds or?" Sam is trying desperately to think of a lie for him to believe but at this point, she's not sure there's anything she can really say. He has it all figured it out with her.

"I have a photographic memory." Tim states. "And the acid isn't some run-of-the-mill acid. It's a specific chemical compound. It's like a fingerprint."

"Okay, I'll humor this for a minute. If you live in Gotham and the girl you're thinking is me is from San Francisco, how exactly do you know the chemical compound of Bluejay and the Titan are the same?"

"The internet." Tim scoffs. "There are forums dedicated to you guys."

"Haven't you ever heard not to believe everything you read online?"

Tim chuckles softly. "Okay, I also know who Nightwing is, Batman...Robin." Tim looks to the ground with the last word and Sam's face falls.

"Yeah, you sound insane," Sam lets out a huff but if Tim does know this might be a problem for Dick later so she'll humor this a little longer. "I am interested in all of this though, so how do you know all of this?"

"Dick Grayson is Nightwing, former Robin. Robin1.0. Dick Grayson was in the Flying Graysons and he can perform a certain trapeze trick that only two people in the world could perform. Dick and his father. You know who else can do that trick? Nightwing and Robin 1.0." Tim explains with excitement as if he's been dying to share this with someone. "Bruce took in Dick and if Dick is Robin, Bruce has to be Batman." Tim continues. "I knew another Robin came in because the fighting style was different, the way he walked, the height difference."

"That's what I pointed out, too, to be fair." Sam points out.

"Exactly, well, Bruce Wayne took in Jason Todd." Tim looks away. "And...well..." Tim sucks in a breath.

"Robin 2.0 and Jason died around the same time, right?" Sam fills in what Tim doesn't want to say.

Tim nods shyly. "Yeah, and I recognized how he walked, too when you introduced us that day." Tim clears his throat. "So, if Dick is Nightwing, he's a Titan. Jason would have also been a Titan. That's how you met them. Now you live with Bruce during the same time Bluejay shows up."

Sam thinks about it for a second and actually, how has no one else figured that out? It is actually so obvious. But, she can't tell Tim that. He might be her friend but there's a lot going on and Dick and Bruce's secrets aren't hers to tell, even when she's mad at Bruce. It's not her place. And, honestly, she's a little worried what would happen if Jason ever found out Tim knew, especially right now. Would it paint a target on his back? To know Red Hood is Jason Todd? Sam won't risk it.

"Solid theory, I'll give you that but I also know Bruce and Dick. And uh, Bruce isn't a hero and Dick is a good detective, that's all. I'm just trying to survive. So, your math is a little off. But, I do need your help so we can keep going back and forth or you can help me." Sam changes the subject before Tim gets any further into this. Dick is going to lose it.

"Alright, what is it?" Tim lets out a sigh but he knows he'll come back to it.

"Okay, I have this bit." Sam hands him a piece of paper where she traced the letters. "I don't know what it means but I know it's a code for something. And I think some of these chemicals are codes for real chemicals or something. They're not real so..."

"What's it for?" Tim quirks a brow as he gives her a grin.

"That's for me to figure out after you tell me what it means." Sam smiles cheekily at him.

"You want my help but you're not gonna tell me?"

"No." Sam laughs. "It's just a project, it's not relevant."

"Okay." Tim sighs, walking over to one of the tables and Sam follows him.

Tim is definitely being so forthcoming because he knows he's right. He's helping a Titan right now. He's so sure of it and that's why she won't tell him anything. He had his suspicion of her and Jason. When they came in, they usually had some sort of bruise on them. And Tim had already figured out Jason was Robin. Sam was an easy puzzle piece to place after that. And he's definitely going to help a Titan.

"Got some of the chemicals for you." Tim states after a few minutes, showing Sam some of his work. She spent an hour on that and couldn't figure it out. How does he do that?

Sam looks over the paper and she recognizes a few of the chemicals but nothing rings a bell. "Huh." Sam mutters. "Anything else?"

"What are the chemicals used for?" Tim questions.

"I don't know." Sam shrugs, only half lying. "I'm not a chemist." Sam quips. "What about the actual title? I mean that has to be a clue."

Tim works for what only seems to be a minute before he slides the paper over with pride. "Fear." Tim states, Tim leans back in his chair with a confident smile but he watches as Sam's face falls.

"What?" Sam questions as she looks at the paper hastily.

"Says fear." Tim states. "That's the code."

Sam looks back at him. "You sure?"

"Positive. Why? Is that important?" Tim raises a brow as he watches her carefully.

Sam was really hoping she'd be wrong but a drug leading to fear, Jason is working with someone that's dangerous. He won't tell her anything. Of all people and of all things Jason would be doing, he's doing this shit?

"Oh, that fucking dumbass." Sam grits her teeth. "Thank you, this is very helpful. I'm gonna go grab my food and be on my way." Sam lets out a sigh, hopping down from the table as she grabs the papers from Tim.

"Wait!" Tim calls after her as she's already headed for the door.

"I can pay you if you want, for your time. Really, I really really appreciate this." Sam lets out a sigh.

"No, not that." Tim shakes his head. "What is it?"

Sam looks at his board with all of the Titans and he's got it all figured out. He'll be fine. "You're really smart. Thank you. Don't do anything fucking stupid, though and be careful. Looking into that shit, might get a little messy." Sam pauses and he's got it figured out. There's no stopping him but she isn't going to risk Scarecrow of all people, figuring out she involved him. "Hey, seriously, do not tell anyone we had this conversation. I was here for food, the usual, end of story. No one."

Tim nods his head. "Are people--"

"Nope, it's, uh, it's a-a murder mystery game we play." Sam lies. "Everyone is just trying to get my mind off it, ya know?" Sam sucks in a breath. "And don't go telling people you think Bruce and Dick are the heroes. They'll also think you're insane and you'll get yourself committed."

"Isn't that cheating?" Tim raises.

"No, using my resources but they may not see it that way which is why you can't tell anyone." Sam grins before she turns on her heels and heads out.

Sam heads to the place she found Jason sneaking off to before he died. She caught him doing something and she hates to think this is what he was doing behind her back. Making a drug. It's insane to her. Jason was desperate but she had no idea he was that desperate. Of all the things for Jason to do, make a drug and possibly work with Jonathan Crane. He's the maker of the fear gas and he's dangerous. If anyone can make an anti-fear drug, it would be Crane. And Sam just can't believe Jason would be desperate enough to go to him but she has to know for sure.

Inside the room, Sam sees he does in fact have his own lab. Dick wasn't lying. He really was here, behind her back, making this drug. She's so mad at him. How does he resort to this? How? Because of Robin? He never should have thought Robin was all he'd ever be good at. Jason believed Robin gave him magic. It starts and ends with Robin and Bruce. That's what this always boils down to and Sam is so angry at Jason and Bruce for it.

Her heart breaks the further she walks into the room, checking out the table where he still has everything laid out. And she still can't believe it. But, she needs to know. If she's wrong, she can deal with that on her own. Jason is her responsibility. But, if she's right...she doesn't think she can keep that to herself. She doesn't think she can handle that, not alone. It's going to be more than just getting Jason clean to get him back home. Sam isn't sure she can do it on her own. She knows it's bad science but there's only one way to know for sure without bringing anyone else into this. Jason won't tell her anyway so Sam lays the formula on the table and gets to work.

Jason did the hard part. And he didn't cover his tracks which she can't figure out why he wouldn't. If it was so dyer no one knows what's going on, why would he leave everything out? Why would he even leave the formula out with a clue? Unless that was the point. Jason likes to play games. It's what he does. Maybe that was the point. He coded the formula, leaving it out on purpose just to fuck with Dick and Bruce. Sam is surprised Dick didn't figure it out but again, maybe that's because even Dick wouldn't think Jason is crazy and desperate enough to go to fucking Scarecrow.

Sam finishes the drug within an hour, the orange liquid loaded into an inhaler Jason left behind. She holds it up and debates it. Taking an unknown drug is a terrible idea. Taking any drug is a bad idea. And this could be a setup. Jason could have left it on purpose, knowing someone would figure it out and maybe take it to see. But Sam finds that to be a long shot because what insane person finds a formula to make a drug and then takes it? Dick wouldn't do that and if this is about Dick, given Jason just tried to kill him, Jason would know Dick wouldn't just take a dug.

Sam knows Jason better than anyone and Jason knows her. She puts herself in Jason's shoes, deciding maybe he'd know she'd figure it out eventually and do something completely idiotic like follow his footsteps which means this wouldn't be a setup. She settles on that logic and puts the inhaler to her mouth before pressing the canister down and inhaling at the same time.

Her pupils dilate, her iris turning a bright shade of yellow-orange. And it all melts away.

The guilt she feels with not pestering Jason, him dying, not following him. Everything starts to fade away. The sadness of it all is there but it's more like a distant echo in a deep underground cave. There, but just barely. The guilt feels more like walking through fog instead of barbed wire ripping her throat to shreds. And, for the first time since she left Gotham, she isn't paranoid. She doesn't feel paranoid or scared. It's all completely gone. Every ounce of it. There's still this small sense of worry but the sadness, it's more of an echo.

The sadness, guilt, paranoia, and worry are caged deep inside the darkest parts of her mind. Screaming and howling to be let free again but the drug stands guard, laughing over their desperate cries. A sinister cackle echoing over everything else, clouding them so they can't break through. And for the first time, Sam gets how Jason got here.

This is nice. She doesn't feel like she's weighted down anymore. In a way, it actually feels freeing. To not be scared and paranoid and consumed with worry and guilt. It's actually really fucking nice to not feel so damn heavy. But, that feeling of being free doesn't last long before it starts to fade into red-hot anger.

She thinks about how Jason lied to her, went behind her back. They were supposed to be a team and he left her. He left her to go after the Joker, he died, he made this dug, he became Red Hood without ever having a conversation with her. Jason just tried to kill Dick. He doesn't loop her in anymore. He made this drug that is so damn freeing and he never bothered to offer it to her. He never offered her a cure. He gets to be cured of all of his fear and paranoia while she's left here to suffer. And that pisses her off.

She's just furious with him so she gets up and makes her way to the Gotham City Gym thinking maybe that's his hideout. That's where they met up two days ago, it has to mean something and she does not care at all what's going to happen. She doesn't have the fear of consequences anymore. She isn't scared what's going to happen because she showed up there looking for him. It'll be fine, she assures herself. It'll be the two of them, and Crane will never have to know and if he does, that's fine. Sam will go after him herself because even though she's mad at Jason as she makes her way on the bike, she still cares about him. The love she has for him is still there, wrapping her bones like barbed wire, desperately clinging onto the old parts of her that aren't affected by the drug.

She doesn't want anything to happen to him. But she's mad. And the drug is letting anger win. So, she gets to the old gym and walks right inside.

Sam finds Jason in a room leaning over a chair and all she sees is red, missing what he's working on. All she cares about is getting answers and letting him know she's pissed and he's not just getting off the hook this time because she loves him. This is fucked.

"What the fuck!?" Sam screams as she shoves Jason away from the chair.

Jason turns to face her quickly. "What—" Jason eyes her with confusion, dropping the scalpel on the floor. "What the fuck are you doing here!?"

"Crane!?" Sam yells as she throws her arm out to the side. "You're working with Jonathan fucking Crane?!"

Jason takes a step back and he's never seen her like this before. Her face is red as her nostrils flare and her jaw squares. Her pupils are blown and she looks ready to kill him.

Oh no.

She figured it out. She took the drug. She figured out the formula. She took it. Why the fuck would she do that?

"How the fuck do you know that?" Jason seethes and he still has the drug pumping in his veins, too. What would normally be fear is clouded with anger.

"I figured it out! I told you I would! And I'm fucking offended you thought I wouldn't! You went to fucking Crane for an anti-fear drug!? Are you insane?!"

"Fuck you!" Jason screams back. "Did you fucking take it!?"

That was not part of the plan. Jason didn't want her involved and that included her taking a drug. It makes him a hypocrite and he knows that but he doesn't care. This is his problem, not hers. This was his decision and he didn't want this for her. If he did, he would have just told her.

"Yeah! And I gotta fucking say, it is nice not dealing with fear and paranoia and shit so fuck you for not telling me and giving it to me!" Sam's fists ball at her sides, Jason getting a glimpse of her knuckles turning white under the pressure.

"That's a load of shit! You're just saying that cause you're fucking high!" Jason yells back, the drug isn't as fresh for him as it is for her. He's thinking a little clearer than she is.

"Look who's fucking—" Sam pauses, finally looking at the chair and seeing a passed out Hank shirtless with an open cut on his chest and a device lodged halfway into the cut. Sam shakes her head looking back to Jason. "What the hell did I just walk in on?" Her voice comes back down.

"How did you figure it out?" Jason spits back, ignoring her question. He really doesn't want her involved with this one.

"Your erratic behavior before you died. The formula had a code. And you like to play games." Sam quips back and she sees the hint of smirk come to his lips. "Exactly."

"You hate codes and you're dyslexic. How'd you figure it out?" His voice is a toxic mix of amusement and threatening.

"I'm resourceful. Don't worry, I didn't fucking tell anyone." Sam spits back. "Hank?" Sam gestures again as she blinks at him.

He doesn't believe her. Sam is good at a lot of things but cracking puzzles and codes is not one of those things. It's why Jason was careful so that way if she found out, she wouldn't get anywhere. He knows she went to someone for help. She swore she doesn't lie to him but now she is. The line is being drawn in the sand and Jason decides he might as well throw her the bone. He wants to see exactly where her loyalty actually lies because the drug thinks that's going to be fun. It pumps him with everything Crane has filled his head with, tricking him into thinking it's true. And that includes Sam not being on his side.

"Putting a bomb in his chest. Wanna help?" Jason shrugs as a grin pulls at his lips as he picks the scalpel off the floor and goes back to Hank.

Sam watches him for a few seconds and she actually thinks about it. The drug clouds her judgment and lets her feel anger above everything else. She's pissed at Jason but she's still mad at Hank for earlier. Hanks wants to kill Jason and maybe that's what Hank came here to do. Maybe Hank was going to kill him. Jason is just taking it a step further because it's Jason. Nothing is ever so easy. But, a few seconds go by and she's still mad at Jason. She doesn't want Jason dead but she does want to piss him off because he pissed her off. An easy way to piss Jason off would be save Hank's dumbass from him.

"Fuck you." Sam barks, gaining Jason's attention and he thought she might actually take up the offer. He's not sure what he would have done if she did. "No, I'm not gonna help fucking kill him! Have you lost your damn mind? Who the hell are you?!" Sam screams again and she's starting to question if she is mad enough to kill someone she considers an ally. Hank is not her friend but would she take up the offer, right now, if she weren't so mad at Jason?

"I'm who I've always been!" Jason yells back. "What? Don't fucking like it?" Jason taunts her and he really hopes this will get her to leave.

If she's not going to be on his side, he wants her gone. Her being around drives him insane because it's like two sides of him are at a war within him and they can't settle on where to sit or what to believe. They fight hard and fast, one side knowing she can be trusted and Jason loves her. He has to protect her at all costs. No matter what. But, the other side of him is high out of his mind and believes Crane really cares about him and wouldn't lie to him. Crane wouldn't just be using him and manipulating him. Crane is telling the truth and that includes Sam. Both sides are so torn and it drives Jason completely insane. This thing would be easier if she would just go the fuck away.

"You're not a murderer!"

"You're fucking a hypocrite! You're killing people! Crane was right about you." Jason sneers, closing the distance between them and Sam doesn't move even an inch as Jason looks down at her. "I'm fucking better and you hate it." It's like a game of tug of war in Jason's head and the Crane side is winning.

Sam grits her teeth as more anger starts to flood into her system. He told Crane about her? "Fuck you. Crane knows me? Really?" Sam huffs up at him. "I liked you before."

"When I was fucking weak." Jason sneers. "You always just wanted to fix me. Well, I'm better and I'm not fucking scared. And you can't stand it." Jason lets out this horrid cackle.

Sam lets out a loud groan as she looks to the ceiling and even in her clouded state, she knows Crane has to be using him. "He's fucking using you and manipulating you. He doesn't give a shit about you. We all do though." Sam mimics the laugh.

"Fuck you!" Jason huffs. "You don't know shit!" Jason doesn't want to fight with her but he can't help it. He should walk away and he knows he should but it's as if his feet are glued to the floor below him.

"Yeah, been there done that, right?" Sam looks up to him. "He's using you. You just can't fucking see it." Sam shakes her head. "He's a terrible, horrible, shit fucking excuse of a human and I can't believe you think he gives a fuck about you." Sam isn't sure if she's saying it to hurt him or if it's because it's true. She knows there's no way Crane actually cares about him, there's no way not when Jason just made an anti-fear drug. There's more to that but she doesn't know if she's telling him because he needs to hear it or if she's just trying to hurt him.

The drug loves confrontation.

"You can't stand that I'm better! You hate that I don't need you anymore." Jason shakes his head, his nose scrunching in frustration. "I know what I'm doing and he cares about me unlike you and Dick and Bruce!" Jason screams and he doesn't mean it and he says it anyway. Maybe Crane is right. What if he is right? "We were a fucking mistake! You used me and tried to make yourself feel better by being with me!"

Sam pauses and...that hurt. That still hurt. But instead of heartbreak, it fuels her anger. With the drug, her heartbreak gets confused with anger and all she wants to do is hurt him back.

"We were a mistake?" Sam asks through gritted teeth.

The anti-fear drug doesn't just wipe away fear, it turns perfectly good people into hollowed and cruel skeletons of who they used to be. They're puppets under Crane's control once he says one sentence. Jason being desperate and feeling abandoned led him to Crane but the drug keeps him believing Crane. The drug keeps him in line. And Sam is having a similar side effect because normally, she'd never even think about hurting Jason but that's all she wants because he hurts her. The drug turns perfectly good and decent people, into evil and malicious and calloused versions that are unrecognizable to everyone else.

Jason shrugs his shoulders. "Weren't we?" Jason questions and he doesn't mean it. But the panic and pain and fear is replaced with anger so he fires. "I'm worse, right? Nothing got better with you. I fucking died on your watch." Jason scoffs.

"I didn't get you killed, fuck you." Sam scoffs.

"That all you got? Did I hurt your little feelings?" A grin pulls at Jason's lips and the voice echoing in the back of his head lets out a loud cry and it cracks the sturdy glass the drug creates. He knows he'll regret this. He doesn't mean it. He swears he doesn't mean it.

"I don't even know you right now and I don't think I want to." Sam shakes her head and even when she knows she should hold back, she doesn't. The words come out in a hasty rage before she can even process them because they'll hurt him. "This why Rose lied to you? Maybe it was to protect herself from you, right? Get close and you lose your shit and hit below the belt."

"Fuck you! Yeah? What about Gar? You say I don't tell you shit, well now you know how he felt. How do you think Molly feels right now?" Jason snaps right back.

"Gar is my friend and he's waiting back at the manor for me." Sam shrugs her shoulders as she looks Jason up and down. "Where's Rose?" Sam quips back. She doesn't mean it. She doesn't mean any of it. She doesn't even know why she's thinking it. It's not true. This was a bad idea. The drug was a bad idea.

He knows. He knows deep down she doesn't mean it because he doesn't either. He'd never say any of this to her and he doesn't even think any of it. But Crane is in his head and he makes so many good points, and Sam is making him so fucking mad. And if it weren't for the drug, he knows, he'd be terrified of what's going to happen when Crane finds out she knows. What Crane is going to ask him to do. He'd be scared for her life. And her well-being. He loves her but he can't see through the anger and the numbness. He can't see through it. But, there's still that pecking for her right in the back of his head, right in the stitched letters of her name on his heart. Not her.

"Leave or let me do this. Two fucking choices." Jason sucks in a breath before he turns around and heads back towards Hank.

"You're not killing him." Sam moves towards Jason and yanks him back by his hood, just enough to stop him.

Jason stumbles back, eyes locked and angered on Sam. "You gonna stop me?" Jason scowls, holding a scalpel in one hand.

She won't let him kill Hank. The drug says it'll be fun and then Hank will be out of their hair. Sam won't have to defend Jason against him anymore and he won't be annoying. He'll be dead. That'll be the end of it. Hank won't be a bother to anyone anymore but stopping Jason will piss him off and something about that seems a little bit more fun. But, there is a small pecking at the back of her head. Jason yanking her off of Jerry because she shouldn't have blood on her hands. The memory flashes like a flashbang against everything she should be thinking while high and she swears she won't let him. It's time to repay the favor, high or not.

Jason's formula was always a little off. The drug Jason is taking now is upgraded, it's better because Crane manufactured this with Jason's help getting the supplies. Sam's version is a little off.

"Only if you make me have to." Sam shakes her head, blocking Hank from Jason.

Jason hesitates. If she were anyone else, they wouldn't have gotten this far into an argument and he's pretty sure Sam knows that. And he also know that with the drug, even his version of it, she won't back down.

"Hank has always treated me like shit. You don't fucking get it." Jason shakes his head.

"And killing him is gonna make it all better?" Sam quips back. "Cause that's shit. He's a fucking ass to me, too but I'm not trying to kill him."

"Because you were always a coward." Jason's voice lacks the venom this time as if he knows what he's saying isn't true and it's not right.

"Maybe." Sam shrugs. "But at least I'm not someone killing an innocent person." Sam scoffs. "So, what does that make you?" Sam asks and even in this state, she just wants him to be the Jason before he died. It's all she wants.

Jason shakes his head. "I'm not scared anymore." His voice is level this time and honest. The venom has evaporated and even in this state, Sam's heart breaks. How did he fucking get here?

"Is it worth it? Losing your friends? Dick, Bruce, Gar?" Sam pauses for a second. "Me?"

Jason shakes his head and she'll never get it. "You don't get it." He can't let her get in his head and that's what she's doing. Jason shuts his eyes for just a second before he shakes his head, snapping himself out of it. "Now move and go the fuck home."

Sam nods her head and Jason is the one drawing the line, not her. She has given him every chance and opportunity to give her a reason to side with him and he will not do it. He only gives her reasons to be against him and she hates it, even in this state.

"No." Sam shakes her head and crosses her arms. "You're gonna have to fucking fight me, Jay."

Jason moves forward, looking down at Sam and for a second, Sam thinks he'll let it go. But, instead, he shoves her to the side. Not hard, but enough to get her out of the way. Jason swears he's not going to be the one to fight her first. It is his one fucking line he has been able to not cross and he swears he can't do that. Not her.

Sam fires back, shoving him harder and further away from Hank.

"All you got, babe? Thought I taught you better than that." Jason taunts.

"Yeah, well, I learned from Dick, too and I'm not throwing the first punch." Sam stands toe-to-toe with Jason. "You'll have to do that, Red Hood."

"Out the fucking way." Jason shoves her again, this time a little harder than before.

"You get the fuck out of the way." Sam shoves him harder, this time Jason falling to the ground.

He looks up at Sam with so much anger, it nearly breaks her. He's never looked at her like that before. And maybe if he weren't high, he'd find it impressive and endearing. But he is high and he doesn't give a fuck. He swings his leg, tripping Sam and she falls to the floor.

Jason is back on his feet before Sam, quickly moving to Hank and trying to get the bomb readjusted. Sam moves closer to him, kicking Jason in the back of the knees and sending him to the floor which gives her enough time to get to her feet.

"Wake the fuck up, Hank!" Sam shakes him quickly, trying to wake him up but Jason trips her again, this time taking one kick to the back of the knee and then the front.

Sam looks at Jason as he's still on the ground. They're not going to get anywhere if all they do is keep tripping each other. And the drug loves a good fight.

"Okay, fine. Do you really wanna do this? You really wanna fight me?" Sam questions.

"You're the one that wants to fight." Jason huffs.

The part with the drug would love to fight her. He knows he will win but she'll put up a good fight and it'll be fun. But, the better part of him, the part that always wins when it comes to her, wants rip to kick his heart through his ribs and onto the cement floor. He can't fight her. He can't do it. Not her. Anyone but her.

"You're the one trying to kill someone." Sam quips.

"You're not gonna fucking stop me."

"I have to fucking try!" Her voice finally cracks as she yells.

"Good luck." Jason barks as he gets to his feet.

Sam doesn't really want to fight him either. Like Jason, she has that part of her that still doesn't want to cross that line, no matter what. But, Jason can't come back from killing one of their own. The Titans will never forgive that, regardless of his reason. It doesn't matter if this isn't really him. They won't forgive him because it's Jason. Sam doesn't want that for him. If her options are to fight him or let him kill Hank, she really only has one choice.

And the drug is thrilled about it.

Sam gets to her feet, keeping a few feet between them. "If you go down for five seconds, this is it. Got it?" Sam offers him.

Jason lets out a cackle. "Fuck no."

"You're a better fighter, right? What the fuck are you so scared for?" Sam says it on purpose, knowing it'll get him to fight. 

Jason eyes her for a few seconds, knowing he can't possibly say no now. The drug is winning over the logical side of him and he has to agree. But, he also knows he'll still pull his punches. Maybe they can go a few rounds and she'll get tired. Jason remembers how it feels when his version of the drug wears off and how long it usually lasts. He's not sure when she took it but he's hoping maybe a few rounds and it'll wear off a little, make her too tired to continue then neither of them have to fight their hardest. He doesn't want to and he's betting she doesn't either.

"Fine. Five seconds. You, too. You go down and I can finish what I started without you getting in the fucking way." Jason nods his head. "No weapons and no acid."

"Deal." Sam nods her head as she lifts up her hoodie and unbuckles the belt with all of her knives, dropping it on the floor.

Jason pulls both guns from his holsters, walking over and putting them on a table. Then he starts pulling his own knives out of his pockets and boots, resting them with the guns before he walks back over. Jason stands three feet in front of Sam who's eyes haven't left him.

"Two outta three?" Jason questions and all he can hear is his heart in his ears.

"Fine." Sam agrees, sucking in a breath. "You and me."

Jason's jaw locks. "You and me."

Sam and Jason stand a few feet away from each other. The two of them take a few seconds, almost contemplating if this is a good idea. This was a line Jason swore, no matter what, he'd never cross. It's Sam. He doesn't want to fight her but he has to do this. He doesn't have a choice. That's the thing about the anti-fear drug. He's easy to manipulate when it comes to Crane and he doesn't feel anything. Not just fear. So, he takes the first step forward and goes to trip her again but Sam dodges him, taking the first official swing to his face.

The two of them fight a little harder against each other than they normally do. Sam knows she'll lose. She always did. It doesn't matter. He's better, he's faster. And the clairvoyance has a loophole. Apparently, a lot of it is rooted in fear factor, adrenaline and the anti-fear drug diminishes that. Fighting Jason without the clairvoyance is more difficult. She can't tell where the next hit is coming from and she has to be completely on defence. Maybe she should have trained a little more with Dick after all. But, she tries and strikes as hard and as fast as she can. She puts up a good fight.

Jason is pulling his punches. Sam isn't in the suit. She has nothing to protect her and even though he should care more, he is not careless. He doesn't want to hurt her so he pulls his punches, despite knowing she'll never forgive him for it. And the more he pulls his punches, the better chance she stands on tiring herself out by the time the drug starts to wear off. Jason is just buying time so he can finish Hank because he needs to. It's part of the plan. Crane said it has to happen and he has to listen. So, he keeps fighting until Sam goes down twice, coughing and gasping.

Jason counts but it's slower than usual as Sam tries to use her remaining energy against him to no avail. The drug might tell him this is fun and thrilling, it'll be worth it in the end. But, the real Jason hates every single second of this. It never should have been like this and if he weren't high, he would have walked away. If she weren't high, she probably would have, too. But, now they're here bloody and bruised fighting over fucking Hank Hall.

"Five." Jason heaves from above her. His jaw is squared and he hates himself for it. "We had a deal." Jason takes in a full breath, watching Sam's expression soften and fall, her pupils returning to normal.

Jason shakes his head and gets up, walking back over to Hank, leaving Sam on the floor.

Sam looks up at him, blood pooling in her mouth and leaking from a gash on her head. Jason has blood splitting his lip and drips dropping from his nose. But, he's foggy and distant. She tried. She tried her absolute hardest and her eyes are heavy while her limps feel like the blood has been replaced with cement.

Sam sits up, her head spinning slightly but not the way it usually does with a concussion, this is different. She rests her hands on the floor, scooting back until her back hit the wall and she leans her head back, closing her eyes.

She's so tired. She's exhausted and all she wants to do s sleep. But, the fear starts to creep back into her system. The numbness she felt is being washed away like a sandcastle on a beach while the tide comes in. And everything starts to hurt.

Everything she just said to Jason, everything he said it her. It all hurts and then fear comes in and now she's terrified she messed everything up. What happens if Crane finds out she knows? Is Crane going to think Jason did it? Is he going to find a replacement? What if he wants her dead and asks Jason to do it? Where does that leave him? 

Jason glances over to her as he gets the bomb readjusted. The gash doesn't seem deep, there isn't too much blood and the blood from her mouth is from a small cut on her lip. It's nothing worse than what either of them got from sparring with each other and Gar and Rachel. But, Jason watches her for a few more seconds, just being sure. 

"You okay?" Jason finds it himself to ask as he places the bomb in position.

"Tired." Sam's voice cracks and she thinks about what the Titans are going to say when Hank dies.

This is her fault. She wasn't fast enough and she wasn't good enough. Hank is going to die because Jason was manipulated and used and put a bomb in his chest. And she was too weak to stop him. Even while high, she still pulled her punches because it's him. They're never going to forgive either of them.

"It's wearing off, isn't it?" Jason asks, his voice stern as he places the bomb in Hank's chest, following the blueprints.

"Yeah..." Sam's voice is so small, making Jason look back over at her. He's definitely burning that lab down.

She wonders if this is normal. If it is, how did she miss it? She wonders how much Jason actually used it for her to have not noticed. Maybe he only used it a few times and only when he was out. The drug definitely didn't last very long. She just wishes she would have noticed something was wrong.

"You'll feel better in a bit." Jason states as he closes the skin around the bomb. 

Sam falls silent, keeping her eyes closed. This can't be what a normal comedown feels like. She's somehow both so exhausted she could sleep for a week and she's terrified. Every piece of fear she had before is amplified and she's stuck between wanting to sleep and wanting to run away from everything. If she thought she could get up, she'd run out of Gotham and away from this mess. But, her head is spinning and her arms and legs hurt while her chest feels like it's going to collapse on itself.

"Sammy?" Jason calls, glancing over to her again.

He knows what happens with his version. There's a comedown and it's rough. Every fear and mistake and regret floods back in a tidal wave, taking over all of the relief the drug provided all while making it impossible to stay awake. It doesn't last long, twenty minutes but Jason swears it's always long enough to keep him going back to the drug to not feel that way again. The new version has a similar effect but instead of a crash, it's slower like a stranger in the night following him and waiting for the perfect moment. With every step, he grows more uneasy and home seems further away. But, she didn't take the new version, so he keeps glancing at her just to make sure she's okay.

Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea.