i used to sleep under the stars now i only sleep next to them

~

um we kind of ran out of catchy lines sooooo our next record will talk about how "the best part of relief is the lie." i hope thats okay with everyone. either that or im going to steal more lines from some of dashboards less popular songs. there go all my secrets, oops hehe. and here comes yet another lawsuit. whoa, kinda bad when judges start to recognize you with a groan when you step into court. haha what am i even saying? oh man. im so tired and by all rights i should be in bed. up too late again vs not early enough or whatever. smoke and sleep sting at my eyelids- teaming up to tug down tired eyelids that keep rolling back open like plastic cartoon curtains. outside fireflies compete with christmas lights, kind of funny how some people leave them up all year long but only turn them on in december. stretching is useless, like im trying to get new skin or the blood flowing. age is only a number but its still adding up. my body feels like a weathered map with the wrong directions. probably going to see j today and live up to her worst expectations. i think no matter what happens tomorrow will always be ours, even if were 80 and dont know our own names anymore we will still know what 01-01 is. blah. i think about the weirdest shit when im in need of sleepies. i should get at least a few hours of sleep before the big day at mtv. i still cant really believe it and i cant believe the years already over. honestly we really dont deserve anything we have, this totally has to be the best rug pulled out from any feet. just let us stand a little longer. we are hoping the new record makes up for whatever. just wanted to update cause i know that some of you still care. thank you for being here, weither it have been from garage and basement shows or just catching us for the first time at an arena tour. anywhere inbetween. it doesnt matter. what matters is thick skin and heart, its about wearing a seatbelt on the bandwagon instead of worrying about who got on first. its not how many pages you can flip back on a calender, but how many your gonna be there for coming up.

anyways, if i dont update this again before 2006 i hope everyone has a great and safe new year. soon ive been keeping this journal a year and havent deleted it yet. whoa. thats almost a record right?

xo.

oh yeah- and guys if you're at the community that "must not be named" and you added me just let me know, i didnt mean to overlook you and ill totally add you back. anyone else feel free to comment and add me, im sticking around so feel free to stick with me.