crushing your nights one dream at a time.

~

  tired 8am eyes on empty pill bottles i should have had filled before i left ground. haven't slept in days. the wall always seems to be mocking me, and the tiles seem to be waiting with cold, reassuring arms. overheard: your worst desires on the other end of his phone. overseen: fingernails dug into the carpet trying to hold onto the day before it ends. the joke's on you baby boy, you're already done. hotel balconies with loose floorboards are the host tonight. just because you can see it doesn't mean it's yours to have, like the moon and the stars. oh yeah and you. dig a little deeper with the insults, the words like you know me- when i don't even know myself anymore. i like laughing at how off you are. the shovel in my grave keeps my foot out of it. face down in the dirt where every blade of grass is a no leaf clover saying my luck has ran out. "cheer up" and "things will get better" are easier said than meant. the saying 'dying to stay alive' never meant anything to me before i met you. hollywood has a new posterboy but the same old product. pills spilled on the bathroom floor are safe from shaking promises and loose fingers, and those puckered lips looser than the lid. "i'm sorry." split lips and friends, all that's left are footsteps by the staircase, a piece of paper with my number written on it- and my time's almost up. i left my problems behind hoping they would starve without me, only to find out they're still feeding. growing. this is the time when cool hospital sheets and nosebleeds sound like a vacation over a recovery. feed me through my arm cause my mouth's just always only good for words i won't mean anymore when the pills wear off. we really are kept awake by what should be instead of what is. one day everything you ever loved, hated and knew... will all be gone. and it won't matter cause you will be too.

comments aren't disabled- this boy already is. hehe. have a good laugh at me, sometimes it's all that reminds me i'm alive is the echoing of laughter off the padded walls in my head.