something i don't need.

~

  thin morning fingers pull down over the nights dry lips for a trace of last kisses. like a vow of secrecy. everyone else uses beds to fall asleep and now i'm using mine to fall apart. freyed whispers escape my lips and fall short of absent ears. the door still cracked open from the goodbye. a sore heart chapped from the memories. sun from the curtains creeking over to illuminate the alarm clock cause time stands still without you but everything else keeps moving. my head is pounding to make up for the lack of movement from my heart. you always said i never cared and i didn't think i did either until now. familar voices on the phone are even unrecognizable. my body lies motionless, fingers curled into hooks that couldn't keep you here, from where your hands were once laced with mine. the sheets balled up at the end of the bed. you've never felt alone until you've memorized every fold and wrinkle in the sheets where they used to sleep next to you. hearts aching for a second kiss. hands reaching for a second anything. the hours pass and the minutes slow to a stop. tonight the other warm bodies feel the same but none can ever feel like his. everything you're looking for in someone else's skin, if that's all your looking for. "and tomorrow he's gone but so are your worries." i hate it when my heart hurts this bad. songs someone else wrote about someone else stuck in my head about you. don't be the reason i dream, be the reason i wake up.

weiird yeah. been working on that on and off for the past week. it doesn't really fit here but oh well.

shaant: YES NOW TAKE THE DAMN HINT BECAUSE 30-something NUDGES WASN'T ENOUGH

Date updated: 2006-04-14 06:20:08, 1 week ago
once i hit 4 days i wanted to see if i could actually make it a week without updating. that is all. it probably won't happen again. but 44 nudges. let's start this shit out with a "dang"

i was looking around for pictures and you know me i like to win even the dumbest of contests so duh. we are like way behind aar dude it's kinda pathetic on our part. and speaking of voting, cause sometimes i actually am one and sometimes i even go vegan. just kidding vote for one the people that for real never eat meat and not just sometimes. like i totally think you should all vote for andy, he should totally own all their asses- including mine hehe.

uhhhh anyways it appears as tho games.com got sold to aol- ugh. sell outzzz... lets go of the z key. oops. but luckily enough shaant lead me in direction to . it's the same thing i mean i used my games.com login. it's pretty weirdbeard but at least it works.

i feel like i should just say something about this, i know it won't make a difference but whatever, this is my livejournal. these arena shows are getting a little too wild. we're seeing tons of kids pulled out with bleeding faces and bruises and blackeyes and i just want everyone to know they don't have to do that to each other. like honestly, i know you want a better view and to have fun, and that you can't tap someone on the shoulder and be all "excuse mr sir please let me buy so i can have a closer view of the stage than you" or something. i dunno. but i just don't see how people are getting concussions and passing out, fainting, getting sick... maybe this is to be expected at the huge shows we're playing now but i'm not used to it. we love our fans and hate to see them hurt out there. i guess just try to look out for the people around you. one time i lost my shoe and someone actually handed it back to me. so just like that, be safe. i've also been trying to stop teasing people off sitting in the seats, cause really they're the smart ones anymore.

after that heartwarming we moment shared i should probably say hey i'm getting sued for more money than i feel like i am worth, i can't help the ..... and yes the gold is real. just as real as the tye dye we used for the i heart revenge shirt. er.. bad example. nevermind. so i am gonna start offering very limited edition collector item stuff like locks of patrick's hair as he involuntarily loses it quicker than nature intended while he sleeps at night thinking he is safe....

yes the rumors are true. i do want to take brandon flowers out, and i spend my free time walking around in the park (it's free- i can still afford free) with yellow flowers pulling one petal off at a time 'brandon flowers dates me' 'brandon flowers hates me' and like usually end up distracted when i trip and fall flat on my face. blah. i don't get why my being casually flamboyant is really mtv.com newsworthy, must have been a slow day.

to be honest i don't even think i could afford a date with the dude. for reals. times are tough kids, i am honestly talking about getting sued for like 250 grand. i still can't say much on it but like, i am sure andy will pitch in and sell his comic book collection, patrick will ebay all the vinyl he just bought off there, and i'm sure joe won't mind morgaging the house he just bought... i mean this is what friends do for each other, right? like i am sure dirty won't do a damned thing because he doesn't have a dime to his name, but he will show up in court shirtless and make everyone laugh when he grabs the prosecutor's papers and throws them around... or offers to drink stupid things combined together like the judge's piss and the prosecutor's mocha latte with a dash of whipped cream (oh dirty) or whatever while court is ajorned and the jurors decide the fate of my bank account.

wait i am mixing tour and court. wtf pete?

..um.

i really love this song right now. another update real sooner next time.

xo.