Unfinished business...dollars and nonsense

~

Shutdown dreams behind rusted lock doors, dreams of where we are(n't) through a sheer wall keeping us from it, time and hands pressed against the glass. This is what we'll never be and at the same time, this is what we'll always be. Sitting outside with fading optimism and sunwarmed coffin skin, asking to be walked all over when I'm lying down. Yeah I get that "you get what you get" but what I get is regret and what I regret is that you could forget me after a few hours, latenight calls and just before morning showers. Fit for a funeral on prom night full of girlfriends I gave up for this with guys only better than me on my worst day. No regrets just cheap forgets, where life's a bowl of cherries with nothing but pits. Keep me under your pillow, safe and secret. Let me suffocate and let my last thought be me thinking I ever mattered to you. It's funny how when it's lights out, I'm out of mind. Or is it lights on? Unbalanced DNA and an ugly smile, a heart too heavy for any chest and a full bottle of pills to leave you this empty. Sidewalks leading down "I wanna make a difference" but it's just around the corner from "I wanna be forgotten". On a shelf by myself with dust is where you can trust I'll be when you're bored with anyone else. Attention-starve me. I'm yours. "You always looked better when I wasn't even looking..."