happy 49th birthday heychris, you are officially older than dirt now...

~

right now i'm pretty sick of all the fakes...
but i'll just address one right now. she knows who she is and if not i will just say her post in meantsecrets inspired this.
it isn't hard to keep me happy-
just hard to keep me quiet.
you wrote me out of your life pages ago and now i'm just a name selling the book to another buyer.
featuring but never starring.
it's always a shame or shamed.
a finalized copy on your bed by the end of the day.
find it buried with your crumpled sheets and not-so-secrets.
attention (for)getter.
selling the drama to buy time.
you missed your chance for "i miss you"
be ok with this.
you have to be.
you left your choice in this somewhere in his backseat.
if you are what you eat then why aren't you hearts? or time...
the picture is perfect but we're not the couple in it.
you made ours distorted.
you made this meaning less.
i used to want to word everything perfectly to make you smile.
now i want to word it perfectly so that you never can again.
the only time you will is when you think of what we had.
or close your eyes and pretend he's me.
maybe then you can open your eyes and look at what you've done.
remind me never to date anyone all "OMG! your pete wentz ~ have my babys ~ i luv dance dance video i want 2 b that gurl hehe" again.
that was stupid of me, i admit.
sometimes i think with the wrong goal in mind.
i thought you would be different as in better, not different as in worse...
next time you come crawling back try to have more skin on your knees than scraped on his floor.
24 year old acting 14.
i only like the other way around.
er...
anyways. i haven't thought of you in days.
except to think you were happy with someone else.
you want him to do your makeup.
suck your blood.
whatever it was...
i'm glad you fucked up sooner over later so this didn't drag on.
so it hurt less.
someday you'll look back at this as the only chance you ever had to be really happy.
and i won't even remember your name.
you said you love me, you were falling...
and sure, i have plenty of four letter words to say back to you.
but none of them will ever have a v.
the biggest mistake of our lives.
mine was letting you in, yours was letting me out.
you know it and you always will.
put on another layer of coverup to try and cover up the tears.
makeup only makes you look pretty for a moment-
but you can't make up for what's really underneath it.