"this time please someone come and rescue me..."

~

  sos baby.
"now your chest is just whatever."
we are the talk about town, the grapevine's being watered.
we are the survivers with the last bit of your flesh underneath our fingernails.
we are the crossed wire cords calling you in.
we are pinching your last nerve by breathing...
just think what we could do if we tried.
but we are old news.
it's kinda weird how i've never felt safer.
backspace delete try again.
after you type keep enough times in a row it looks spelled weird.
the hip bones connected to the computer screen.
you either get it or you don't.
the eyes have it.
i lost another eyelash wish on new love.
i got plenty to spare- wishes and eyelashes.
i like to keep the haters on my back so i always know where they are.
you are one step ahead if you're always being stepped on.
the expression on my face must read as doormat.
at least until my body is recognized only by the imprints from your shoes.
burning bridges with hot air.
i've got it all handled.
sit tight.
my feet and head are sore from refusing to budge.
next is my heart.
this is the second before great or the moment after the dust settles.
i can't figure out if i am more done with "i'm sorry" or you.
the carpetburn on my knees from begging for second chances say more than fingers pressed to the keyboard can.
blue flashing IMs tell me i've still got a heart.
your voicemail tells me it won't last much longer.
love the underdogs, we need it more.
kick me in the face and then ask how my head feels.
just sometimes i still got it.

"they see me rollin. they hatin. patrollin. they tryin to catch me ridin dirty"

thank you again for everything you said, it keeps me hanging in there. you might think it's just words on a computerscreen but to me it's what i need to get by. to get past this. to still be here when the cameras are off. you're the inspiration behind this.

now, it's time for me to go misuse my week off tour before heading overseas with my ex william beckett. oh yeah- i wouldn't be surprised if we didn't drag with too.

xoxo.