oh hey thanks ij for deleting the comments to my friends only, now i look like i have no friends.

~

i'm a little annoyed by that (little is putting it mildly) so i decided to do the update challenge while i eat lunch, then i gotta head out to record fn mtv. i got a killer headache too so i hope that the migraine medicine i took kicks in soon or i'm going to be a cold prickly to everyone while we film. don't even read this bs.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
i kinda do, but i think it's more of attraction at first sight, most of my past girlfriends i've dated i fell for right away from their face or their eyes and became obsessed with them. i dunno if love at first sight is possible, but like definitely is. it's kind of shallow to fall in love with someone from just their looks, so in that sense i'd say no. i think once you have one conversation with someone you can get a feel for if it would be a good relationship or not. i still don't think i've really been in love because i think love is unconditional and love lasts, and i haven't had a relationship ever last, obviously.

Is love your first priority?
no, but i won't lie it used to be but now that i have a child on the way that's definitely my first priority, and it's actually made finding love a little easier because it distracted me from trying too hard- and i'm definitely guilty of trying too hard. when a relationship isn't working out i refuse to let it go or see that it is until i've dragged it on too long. before i had the baby on the way to put first i was too worried about finding someone and being with them, too worried about not being alone. now i'm pretty okay with being by myself. when you put love as your first priority, it's harder to find it.

Do you feel it's a waste of time?
umm judging from the past 15 or 16 years of relationships, yeah. but i refuse to give up, i just hope i'm not 40 by the time i find the person i'm meant to be with because i doubt saying "uhh honey hold on let me get the viagra" is a turn on unless you're a playboy bunny obsessed with hefner. and even then they probably fake it, not that that is anything new to me. i dunno why guys care so much about when a girl fakes it if they get off- just kidding. kinda. i also really hate being lied to, and it sucks some people think you have to lie to be in love. to keep love. i'd rather be told the truth and work it out than hear it was a lie weeks later that ends up destroying everything. i've forgiven a lot of things in the past, but lying is what i can't forgive. if you lie once you'll lie again.

Can you be in love with more than one person?
i think some people can be or are open to it but me, nope. not real love anyway. i think i'm too idealistic and selfish/jealous to ever be ok with the person i'm dating dating someone else- or doing it to someone else because i know how it feels. i did a lot of dumb things when i was younger and made a lot of bad mistakes in relationships before, but i learned from them. you can love people as friends or as family, but as far as like actual true love goes i don't think it's really love if you can claim to love two people at once. like all these marriages you hear about on 20/20 where some hick truck driver from arkansas has like 5 wives around the states? no that's pretty disgusting to me, i always wonder what they're thinking. it's love and lust, or both are lust. or you love one person because the other person you love is never around, never returns calls, put a restraining order on you.. er. you get the idea. been there, done that. messing with two or more people at once in general is a bad idea because someone or everyone involved usually will get burned.

and the last part i want to say is no- love and sex don't go hand in hand, but it's better when they do. whoa i sound like a panic at the disco song. i think it's time for me to press update and get ready to head out haha.

ps- oh yeah joe said iphones have a new application where it can like turn into a light saber and even makes the sound effects. imagine darth and obi wan or luke like fighting and one of them got a phone call and they stopped to answer it- maybe that was how darth really lost his arm. or the phone just rings and it scares the shit out of him cos the fight scene is so intense. it would also explain obi wan dropping his light saber and it being so dramatic a lot better because man, when i drop my phone i'm throwing a tantrum like a five year old. would han solo still get reception in the carbonite block? probably not if it was tmobile.. tmobile has trouble covering a few blocks away let alone galaxies so. they should do something like that for a commercial if george lucas is ok with it.

pps- we are doing a show thursday night. i hope i am not too rusty.