thanks.

~

  for reminding me how it feels to be ignored and unwanted, cause everytime something goes right it has to all go wrong. falling apart at the tips of your fingers like the ring around them. i always have these dreams about us but thats all a dream is - thanks for reminding me how only one person has a dream at a time and it's never completely shared. funny how you only have dreams when your eyes are closed. same with wishes if theyre done right. thanks for letting me feel stupid even after i said i did. guess its easier to leave messages unanswered and doors unopened when youd rather sleep off another hangover. must be really hard to say anything to me at all to acknowledge my existance and remind us both im still alive. sometimes i feel like you dont want to be reminded. im sorry i wasnt there to kiss away tears you cry, im sorry i couldnt come see you right when you wanted me to. and when i make effort to you roll over and pull the blankets over your head. right now i feel like im around for when youre bored, when youve flipped through the channels three times without finding one to stop on, when the hangover wears off at 3pm and when your friends are with their other friends and theres no cheeks or lips to kiss but the ones on me you turn away. im out of my head trying to be in yours. i guess you gotta keep me low enough to be walked all over right.

as annoyed as i get with people i realize i make it public and one sided. i realize im at fault sometimes. but its times like this if i wonder for two seconds if maybe they are right. they arent but its nice to wish, its nice to reach for the stars instead of hide them behind clouds.

 so pull the covers up over your head and drown out the daylight and the words "i love you" traced on your windowsill from the hands youre gonna miss holding. sleep through this.