"U been sayin all the right things all along but i cant seem 2 get U ova hea 2 help take this off"

~

  the only worse time you can hear the word "but" after sorry is
"i love you but"
i like torturing myself- we're talking shooting a mirror in an attmept to kill the image or pulling out my teeth with pliers kind of torture.
or at least that's what i feel like doing when i am talking to you.
good thing we aren't face to face or i'd smell the budlieser on your breath.
-- this isn't to you if you think it is.
"did you check your voicemail? did you read your email yet?"
no.
"ugh. go check it!"
previously perfect imagine of the cosmo magazine boyfriend of the year.
currently i am the most frustrating human being "alive".
and no- if i was everything that you heard i was it'd be less disappointing than the boring truth.
an imperfect person seen perfectly.
imagine columbus with a relieved face to find out he was right.
now imagine the same look on me when i found out you miss me.
then landing ashore and getting killed by indians.
or whatever- however it goes.
shoot down my hopes then convince me it's my fault for getting them up within shooting range.
hurt seems far from what i am but it's the only word i can think of.
and no- mostly from my own actions or lack thereof.
here's another "i love you" i should be whispering against your ear tonight but at this rate time and travel will always keep us apart.
i still hope it means the same in text.