the fun of it being time to update again already-

~

and of course it lands in the middle of me not being able to discuss specific details about "black cards" or my involvement in it just yet. or i guess anyones involvement or even who anyone is. that is going to be slowly revealed in the next few weeks- but its not a viral campaign or anything. remember that. yeah.

(once again twitter names have been changed to protect the real person that posted the actual tweet i am responding to.)

NicoleSayzFuckU: @PeteWentz I HATE YOU MOTHER FUUUCK!!! T______T

luvverarr: @petewentz SERIOUSLY? A NEW BAND? SERIOUSLY? I'VE NEVER HATED YOU SO MUCH AS I'M HATING YOU RIGHT NOW.

as you can see- everyone on twitter is responding pretty well to my involvement with a new band. people love to overreact about anything i do- and i do mean anything haha. i can imagine if i tweeted about taking the garbage out for ash someone would @reply with "PETE WENTZ TOOK OUT THE TRASH? HE SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIMSELF ON THE CURB TOO LOL".

GabeyHellYes: @petewentz FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!

uh. anyway, i know a lot of people arent going to like the new project right off the bat because it isnt fall out boy- and/or it isnt what they are expecting from me. personally i have always had a lot of respect for musicians that could try different sounds and present it to their fans and face that backlash because it was what they wanted to do and what they were proud of. they liked it but maybe the fans wouldnt. for example green day was a band who "grew up" and people reacted differently- but the new sound grew on most of the older fans and drew in new ones. they also had side projects like the network and foxboro hot tubs to explore different sounds they wanted to experiment with without the facing backlash from fans that would be afraid their favorite band would end up sounding like that permanently. it wasnt to make money because they even went out of their way to try to hide the fact the bands also contained members of green day.

see way back in the day fall out boy started out as pop punk- it was supposed to be a fun band to get us away from the moody blues that being in a hardcore band could bring on you. seriously. i really felt like that one song- frustrated incorporated.i was profiting lyrically from being miserable- everything that made me want to puke the night away and fall asleep on the bathroom floor made for amazing lyrics to me. pain inspired me and when i was happy it was like someone had wiped the slate clean in my mind. couldnt think of anything i liked to describe how i felt the way i could when i was miserable. it was like being miserable made me happy in some sick and sad way. it started to be all i really knew. when i was happy i didnt like it and i became defensive about it because i knew it was going to change anyway. i expected the worst out of people so i was never let down- yet a few people still found a way to get around my walls and end up destroying me (instead of those built up walls) almost completely. basically fall out boy is what it is and always has been what it is- yet various times we were called "sell out boy" and sell outs even though we've always been exactly what we brought to the table originally. our latest cd was the one we were most proud of and put the most effort into and it was received the least well of any cd we have done. it was depressing to all of us- we expected the fans to respond to it better but i think we got everything about it but the music wrong. the marketing, the singles picked for radio. i dont know. i just know it deserved better. that is probably a big part of what led us to where we are today. definitely a weighing factor.

Damnmferfob: ok @Petewentz are you serious?this is the material of the black cards? you'll loose some fansdude

i already "loosed" some fans when the nudes leaked. next.

as you can see the new sound of black cards has people talking shiz on me which is nothing new. i am pretty much used to the fact that i have this big invisible bulls-eye on my back for everyone to take aim at no matter what i do- but what can you call me? am i a sell out still? what is a sell out that sells out again? a seller out? like its an occupation now. am i selling out more? does it even matter? i get that i am going to be under a microscope and dissected under every anonymous feature possible but i am not doing this for anything but missing writing and missing making music. i miss touring and i miss recording. i miss the positive reactions and the way music moves people. i miss the comments i would get about my lyrics and my writing- how it touched people and brought them out of situations they could relate to me with through the words of songs. i miss the connection there. i miss making a difference. i miss the fans that told me my music and lyrics saved them. sure it would sometimes give me an ego but it made me feel good about myself. it made me feel like i made a difference after all. i was doing something good. i miss being more than the douchebag that everyone refreshes waiting to hear him say another douchy comment to lol at for headlines on a gossip website itching for more search hits. my wife is my support and my rock and without her i couldnt be here doing any of this. she gives me strength, love and encouragement and keeps me going when the insults and self-doubts start to get me down. i am a father and a husband and both of those roles bring me more joy than anything from a pen or chord has- but if ive learned anything in the past year or so its how to balance my time. and no matter how much i sit around the house or fly around the world- my wife is there for me and not going anywhere. i dont have the worries i used to when i was in a relationship- marriage cements your commitment. there is no doubt family comes first but i am in no way ready to retire yet. i can sort of call my own shots and not miss any important days or time with the fam. i really liked directing the video for train and working with them. i liked getting a taste of what its like being directly involved with presenting music to someone else without being the one making it or writing it.

that was all tl;dr. at least read this last part:

check out [link] and [link]  for a clearer glimpse at the song. keep in mind its not a viral campaign (but enjoy the feet of everyone that is a part of the project only in the first vid.) seriously- if you dont like it dont force yourself to. we can still be buds. another thing ive learned in my long 31 years on earth is that if you try to please everyone you end up pleasing nobody. jealousy, taste, morals and judgment shape all of our interests differently. name one person who everyone likes... yep, its impossible. so dont try to be that person- just be you.