you'd like me more if i ran on batteries or ran my mouth as much as he does

~

and wrote you off for an ex.
then used you to get a name for my band.
riiiiight.
well i sure am glad you think he makes you feel better than i ever have.
at least you still feel anything.
remember the time when i mattered to you?
oh wait.
we were just pretending.
i'm coming out of this one damaged goods.
i dunno.
days are like numbers counting down.
only more like sitting in a lobby with a ticket, waiting for your number to be called.
it's never what you want so much as what you need.
maybe i don't know who i am because nobody will let me be myself.
maybe you should worry less about what i'm doing and be happy.
since three years obviously was forgotten in two months.
and the sheets i used to lie on are filled with someone elses dead skincells.
filled with new memories.
the dreams that i had for us i never got to finish someone else just started having.
i just want to be the better person so i'm biting my tongue hard enough it could bleed.
tired of fingers that never seem to stop pressing too hard on my sidekick.
tired from eyes that never seem to blink staring at the away hoping for messages that never come.
and calls that never happen.
just when i think i'm finally happy you come around only to drag me down to your level.
and your little exboyfriend too.
let go let go.
i love how i thought this was all over and i have to face the same two months replayed for the rest of my life.
my head and heart are beating the shit out of me trying to see what hurts worse.
kinda like us.
yep.
summer wasn't hot enough but i had hope winter was gonna be the coolest.
i obviously thought wrong.

you and me are the last hot day in summer. we're just fading before the fall.