"im gonna harden my heart.."

~

the real reason so many people are afraid of heights is noone wants to look down.
noone wants to come down from a high.
and me? im just parachuting off my mouth.
my bestfriends are there to catch me everytime.
getting from here to december is tough.
i need skin thicker than whats left on these bones.
words feeding off what seems like dead skin at first,
but then it gets under your skin.
i wish it was as easy as flipping (off) calendar pages.
and skipping days like heart(beat)s.
some people get tattoos to remember-
yet i get them to forget.
and the red digital alarm clocks in hotel rooms starts to be more familiar than my face.
or the bunk.
the cold pillows against (s)hot faces.
waves reaching for the s/(h)ore.
she is an anchor for the lighthearted.
and a backbrace for the heavy.
the sight for sore eyes that always just seems like a myth.
a kiss and bandage for every scar the past left open-
that someone else forgot to heal.
deadlines that never had a chance at making it.
no time to live life just go through (sh)it.
it doesnt have to make sense, its the dollars that matter. right?
waking up on the wrong side of someone else's bed fully dressed.
sometimes when the lights go out so do the feelings that matter-
your left with just one.
that's the real reason the nightlight was invented.
to keep the conscience awake.

"darlin in your wildest dreams, you never had a clue...."

xo