patrick's screenname goes here: lmao come out on top uh huh

~

Mood: can i be your smutty buddy?

  i've been talking to some of the big executives over at mtv and they're afraid that we are gonna lose our popularity soon. they pretty much wanna exploit us as much as they can before all of you hate us. it's gotten so bad we're gonna be on punk'd again and they told us ahead of time.

luckily for mtv fall out boy agrees, and having decided we haven't "sold out" enough yet we're gonna have a reality tv show follow us around on tour. guest stars include whatever band we are touring with at the time- duh. and william beckett at all times mostly cause i need a girl in my life.

oh! we are also gonna be on that mtv show wild'n'out but they tricked me into agreeing about that by saying it was actually a show for musicians that were coming out of the closet- and that mikey way was guest starring the same day as i was. sweet lil dudes come out on bottom... er.. top. together.

i quote my ex-girlfriend here-- jeanae: lmfao oh my god you manage to make something so not gay so gay

speaking of gay- er.. wait. i mean speaking of sweet lil dudes- all our gang meetings are now gonna be held at mr. rogers old crib where i get to yell at the train and kick stuff when it's not delivering my porn on time or to the wrong puppet.

and it turns out jac vanek really IS a virgin.

i have some good news for my friends in panic at the disco- you are now popular enough to stop pretending to like me. i am still getting money off of you. we all win cause all i care about IS money, yesssss. the rumors are true. brb while i go buy more bathing ape. also- ryan i hope you don't mind me continually stealing your lyrics our next decaydance/fbr tour. :)

as you all know i am on one tree hill. i am going to be in a plot with sophia's character where we run away to rebell against god only knows what and i even quit the band. we move to like a farm in the middle of nowhere. i stop shaving for a while and ratings go down the drain as producers realize i really did quit the band, not to mention sophia turns 40 and loses her ability to play teenagers unlike the "ageless" actors josh hartnett, sarah michelle gellar and reese withersoon... just to name/shame a few. poor luke perry.

anyway. i got married today, i was seeing samaire and we fought but made up and we just out of nowhere decided to get married- it was pretty awful timing though cause while i was about to take off my $45,000 resale value white and pink clandestine tux and get the honeymoon going my ex-girlfriend jeanae (see above) told me she was pregnant. gah. at first i was alarmed but then i got comfortable with it. i mean the fact is she is this girl i've been with for three years on and off and maybe this is what we need to finally stay together. she and i fight pretty bad sometimes. but sometimes she makes me happy. so like, we should stay together and work it out for like the kids or whatever. like that blink-182 song. and after talking it out it soon started to be kinda funny even.

fuck your friends page. i'm not cutting this.

jtw: pete i forgot to take the pill last time
jtw: shiiiiit yay babies shiiiiit
pete: oh no please not plural
jtw: triplets
jtw: sry baby
pete: if their teeth are anything like mine they will eat each other alive or at least knaw off their umbilical cords
jtw: lmfao
jtw: they
jtw: dont have teeth yet well nvm if they are like yours
pete: honey i hope they have your teeth
pete: lmfao
pete: exactly
jtw: ty baby
pete: they had teeth as sperm
pete: i know that sounds like it might have hurt you
jtw: aahahhaha
jtw: ridiculous
jtw: but so true

just kidding, she's not really preggers and none of that above is true, infact the only really true thing in this is i wonder how joe's surprise for bijou went...

haha, realllll update later.

xo.

ps- i only wish was an april fool's day joke.