Hola :)
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Peter: Its not every day that im sad! But its most of them
Pepper: Thats not funny.
Peter: I know.
*awkward silence*

==

Ned: My minecraft is having issues
Harley: My internet is having issues
Peter: Well my life is having issues

==

Peter: *signing a form* What am I allergic to?
MJ: Garlic, peppermint, and social interaction.

==

Tony: I only live for two reasons and two reasons only
Rhodey: Which are?
Tony: I was born and I haven't died yet
Rhodey: ...and?
Tony: And peter..

==

*Harley showing up to the tower with a new potato gun*
Tony: what the hell it that?
Harley:... potato?
Tony: ...
Harley: ...
Tony: *sigh*

==

Tony: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I'm somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

==

Peter: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can't?

==

Peter: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium*
Happy: Person A, what did you think a tiger shark was?

==

Peter: I told Bucky that their ears turn red when they lie.
Steve: Do they?
Peter: No.
Sam: Then why did you tell them that?
Peter: Because I can do this.
Peter: Hey Bucky! Do you love us?
Bucky, with their hands over their ears: No.

==

Bucky: I hate you sometimes.
Sam: Well according to this picture Peter drew of us holding hands that's not true.
Bucky: Sam, you drew that.
Sam: It doesn't matter.

==

Peter: *nudges Mj at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Mj? Wake up, Mj! Listen! They're sexless!
Mj: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.

==

Thor: Do you guys hear something?
Loki: I hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up.

==

Peter: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK.
Shuri: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG.
Peter: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.
Harley: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.
Ned: Looks like someone's a HO.
Peter: NaBrO.
Mj: I'm done with all of you!

==

Clint: Met a dumbass today. Awful.
Natasha: You looked in a mirror?
Clint: someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

==

Peter: Hey guys, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos.
Shuri: Oh no, where did it go?
Toy: PETER WHAT THE FUCK?!

==

Ned: Where are you going?
Mj: Hell, eventually.

==

Bruce: How did you break your leg?
Peter: Do you see those porch stairs?
Bruce: Yes.
Peter: I didn't.

==

Tony: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Pepper: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Tony: I said within reason, Pepper. How about I murder that guy?
Pepper: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Tony: Well, it's more reasonable than whatever you were saying.

==

Bucky: Tony, I know you love Peter. I mean, we all do, he's a very nice person and I respect him immensely.
Bucky: But I think he might be a fucking idiot.

==

Peter, texting Harley: There was a motor close to where I am right now.
Harley: A motor- a motorcycle?
Peter: Oh sorry, a murder.
Harley: That escalated quickly.

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Hi guyssss! How are you? Hope you liked :)
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